i laugh without listening
and cancel all my plans
in black and white
dressing every windshield in dew
i dream of you in bars
in bars
i wake up wallowing
hollow
in all our distances and headaches
every day a ****** hangover
my dry eyes are rooftiles
in wait
for the acid come pouring
out the cracked ceramic sky
umbrellaless
i cancel plans 'cause of my veins'
caramel sludge cravings ever
clear embers and
candy climbing tumbles
i crumple through the openings
of every suburban sliding glass door
to sear the acoustics of some stranger's
morning cigarettes
make clouds
and disappear vapor-burned valleys
i cancel plans 'cause the moon
has been full for three months
and the atmosphere's been seizing grandly
in time to my throat's theatrics
in time to the tics of my lighter's
flickers and clicking calls
that won't stop
'cause i don't leave my bed
--written 7/27/19--