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 Oct 2014 WanderLust
Astrid Ember
When did I lose my
innocence?
Was it when I let
the tab melt and
dissolve on my tongue
as my face went
numb?

Was it when I let
the water bubble
pulled out the bowl
and inhaled?

Or was it when
I rolled up my
first dollar bill?

It might've been you.
When you held me
down and ignored
my no's.

What ever it
is, I still smiled
when I met
you.

Now with alcohol
staining my tongue
and nicotine
rotting in my
teeth, your name
still lives perfectly
in my mouth.
I don't know
what's doing the
worst damage.
You?
Or all these drugs?

All of your toxicity
burning my lips.
Pills churning my stomach.
You are still there.

No matter
what stranger
I kiss
you are
still there.

I've begun to
think, you've
taken my all
and still
unsatisfied
you had to poison
my body.
burn and
monitor my
mouth. watching
to see if I'd
sell you out
for what
you've done
to me.
The boy next door
He moved here when we were both still little
Years and years ago
He used to come over
and play monopoly with me
And we'd argue about the rules
But he was one year older
And back then it didn't matter
But we slowly grew
like two flowers on a single stem
up and apart
I started to notice him for what he was
Green eyes and freckles
A smile like twilight's glow
Muscular and attractive
With his red baseball cap
And his music blasting
from his open garage door
And I like him
But he sees me as a little girl
I peek through the curtains
Every time I hear the echoing
of a basketball hitting the pavement
I watch him and catch his eyes every so often
An addictive terrified thrill courses through me everytime
Now he can drive
And I'm still so small to him
But time goes on
Now I'm a big girl
I'm not the little girl who plays with his little sisters anymore
I am just me
He came for dinner one night with his family
And I tried to sit next to him
But it didn't work out
But he is breathtaking
It's been years
When will I stop being a little girl to him?
When will he see me as the girl next door
Maybe never
But to me
He will always be incredible
He will always be
The boy next door

Repost if you have or had a "boy next door".
Repost if you have or had a "boy next door".

— The End —