Her voice echoes through the empty hallways. She is loud but alone. The tears that you see are only a fraction of all the tears she actually cries. Her hair is long and blonde, but she despises it. She wants to shave it all off, to tattoo her skull to show that caring is superficial and WRONG. She lines her blue eyes with a liner called "denim". She throws on jeans that hug her body and a t-shirt stained with hot chocolate. She covers the brown stain with a scarf. She puts on chapstick because who knows? Maybe someone will think she's important enough to kiss her. Her brand-new bangs cover her forehead and eyes. They cover the hoop earrings that feel too girly, too pretty. Everything about her today just feels WRONG. The boy she likes is just one table over, and he doesn't glance at her once the entire hour. She hurries out of the room , not looking back. She bursts into spanish class, out of breath and ready for the boredom that will be the next hour. And then it is back to study hall. It is all too repetitive for her. It is her first day back and already she looks out the door, ready to go home. It isn't like she's got any friends there either, she's an only child and her dad works overseas. The rest of the day is a blur. It passes and she doesn't notice or care. And that boy still hasn't noticed her. No one has. She is but an empty shadow of a heart in a hollow shell of a body that wants to be warmed by another.
But it isn't meant to be...

Rain
Outside the windows,
A breath beyond the grasp;
Gazed upon by mountains.
Of  solitude impregnated in silence.
Rain , they say ,
Washes out.
Rain pours on ,
And on.
An embrace beckoning ,
But never  receiving.
Senses strive to dissolve,
For once and ever.
Cold refuse to penetrate,
To the longing marrow.

it's three months later
and the tune of our love
still echoes through the labyrinth
of my prozac-poisoned cerebrum

it's the sound of rainy evenings
in whitewashed suburban neighborhoods
overwhelming me
as it ricochets off the cold stone

it's the ghost of your hand
holding mine so tight
and it feels like home
as I stand here alone

even as the symphony changes key
to red hair and bright blue eyes
the cadence of you
still rings in my mind

You see me weeping
Dont be alarmed
Its just pain seeping
From the crack
That has formed within my heart

If by chance
You see me smiling
An excellent actress
To myself I am lying
Sadness my company that day

If by chance you see me dying
Dont be foolish
Cease the crying
I chose the path
Love great deceiver
The bearer of violence

If by chance you see me weeping
Or behind my shadow creeping
My soul is gone
Rising high with the sun's rays


This poem is copyrighted and stored in author base. All material subject to Copyright Infringement laws
Section 512(c)(3) of the U.S. Copyright
Act, 17 U.S.C. S512(c)(3), Tammy M. Darby

I filled your veins with water and wrote you down on white paper so I didn't have to read you back anymore. Girl's got a suicide pact across the pacific and all I can do is taste the dust.
2. There is a certainty in the way your body moves out time with itself when you think too much.
3. You told me you wanted to be a saint but you were too afraid of the sight of god. When you asked what belief tasted of they told you: fresh buttercream and a wasp's sting. We didn't see you for days.
4. There is a certain tension and it only exists between the bends of girl's legs and the concrete which holds them stronger than any arms could.
5. I want to run every cliche by you and watch you hold hands into the night with it instead of me.
6. Some people can be replicated entirely out of candle wax.
7. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO ******* SELF AWARE ALL THE TIME. You can't even watch yourself.
8. You know you're a halfway house of cells and who are you to say I can't keep up?
9. Say would you tell me if I was just a little off key?
9. Would you tell me the answers to the questions I never asked?
9. Would you play that evening differently if you could turn back the hands that bind you?
10. I burnt you a bridge and sent you the fire like we could ever fill a room with your god. I want to ask him what he thinks of our sins.
11. There is a fluidity in the way your words turn back on themselves.
11. There is a fluidity in the way you turn back on yourself.
11. There is a fluidity in the way people leave doors open for you.
12. I don't think I'd even know what to say to you if I saw you.
13. I only feel comfortable on even numbers.
13. I guess I made myself an odd number.
13. I don't know what we're left with.
13. This is not how we were supposed to end up.
14. I wish you could see the holes you left in the back of my throat.
15. Loving you was as easy as leaving the lights on.
16. And that walk to your parents house was a floodlit symphony like you capitalised every word of every passage I wrote about you with
17 reasons to stay.
And 18 to leave.

The first was the last time I shook like a guard rail and you were a concrete staircase, and I swear, I ain't never seen nothing like you yet.
The second: my fist on your name. But I am here now, like a lit splint bursting into flames, you won't ever find a ghost like me again babe.
The third. And you just want to **** everything. I said you just want to **** everything in your Berlin Wall house.
Your girl's got a bullet hole for a mouth and when it rains, it really does pour round here.

You were once the sun
my world revolved around
but you left me shunned
and my orbit spiraled down

I suppose things wont transpire
the way I wish they had
and what I most desire
has slipped beyond my hands

So I will love you from afar
the way I always have
Even a universe apart
I just hope you know that

Animosity has faded
although disappointment still remains
I would rather feel this way
than replace it all with hate

All I put at stake
surpassed this mortal coil
but I'll leave it up to fate
to determine what is foiled

Lying in my bed late at night,
And my thoughts feel strange,
Knocking against each other in a scramble to get away.

6 months ago, I lost my way.
I fell for you and it's never been the same.
I lie to myself that it was 6 months,
But really it's been longer.

100,000 miles away from everything,we met.
At a friend's place when you came by.
I remember forgetting to think when I saw you.
I blocked you out cause I couldn't have you.

I fell when I saw you first.
Keep wondering when I will see you last.
You're too good to be true,
I can't seem to stop loving you.
Believe me I have tried.
Cause you scare me.
With how I lose myself when you hold me,
And how I can't stay mad at you.
You tease me into smiling at you.
And never let me go.

100,000 miles away from you tonight,
I hear the raindrops on the rooftop.
It sounds like you too far away,
Faint and insistent.
I want you here in my bed.
Your bed reminds me of the last thing we were good at.
My bed feels too big without you.

You're so far away.
When all I want is to hold you.
Whisper in your ear how much I love you.
We have been through milestones together.
100,000 ways we could have broken up.
But you say you want to stay.
I know I couldn't go on without you.
We could walk 100,000 miles to make this work.
Just don't ever walk away, I love you.

I'm great, I'm amazing,
It's a wonder to be me!
But at this very moment,
that greatness is behind lock and key.

Being held captive,
a prisoner of my own mind.
The stress and pain are what is great now,
I've got such little time.

I try to overcome this,
I try to be strong,
but my strength is now fleeting,
there'll be nothing left by dawn.

Hi I'm human
And i am just like you.
I crave love, but am blind when i have it
I hate conflict, but my mind is full of it
I'm scared to die, but just as scared to live
The facades you try so hard to maintain
Are whats killing you every day
Every smile and move you make
Trying to conceal the bits you hate
The envy, the rage
The jealousy, the greed
It's what we're all doing

Hi I'm human
And so are you and so is he,
In the end we all want one thing.
We all just want to be set free.