i am sinking
further into the darkened depths that is my mind

my heart,
my lungs,
my mind,
collapse

i try shake this illness that
holds my existence captive,
a prisoner in my own mind

i long for the days where my breaths were sighs
of relief,
of happiness

i ache for the moments where
life was not a gloomy mess.
where the sun seeped in through the window
and everything felt okay

will i ever feel whole again?
will i ever rid of this disease?