I'm ever so incapable
of holding a grudge

When I look at a person
I see how miserable they are
how pathetic they are
how they struggle for survival in this emotionally and psychically exhausting place we call our city, our state, our country, our world

I know that they think about putting a noose around their neck, just as often as I do, as anyone

so I apologize with no apology in return and go on about my day

and I guess
that's just how it is

-d.y.

dads a "functioning drunk"
moms miserable because she's not where she wants to be in life
sisters is an unmotivated narcissistic *******

dads yelling about the dishes
moms lying in bed
sister won't share the remote

dad drinks more
mom sleeps more
sister is never home

dads yelling about how he's tired of it all
moms crying because she's tired of it all
sister isn't home because she's tired of it all

I'm angry and afraid because I'm  tired of it all

we're all
just tired.

You've read it all before
Said you'd be there
But when I quit
It's like you vanished
You'll probably read this
I don't care anymore
No one really sees it
What's right in your faces
The cries for help
And tears spilled
Every suicidal thought
That runs in my head
Maybe you think
It's just how I write
But I write my heart
And it's crying out
Has been for a long time
Just no one hears it
The silent sobbing
Hidden away from public
My heart cries out
Save me
Don't go
Just try
Please
Try to save me

Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday to me
Happy Birthday dear Mystery
Happy Birthday to me
Finally turned eighteen
Let's light some candles
And I'll make a wish
On the count of three
One...
Two.....
Three...
*I wish I had never been born

There is always legend in pursuing endlessly
in refusing to see bad, in rescuing the damsel
"she doesn't love you now but she will if you just..."
Maybe I should stay by her side
and wait for millions of years
until we're both fossils
and no one remembers our names.
There is no romanticism in giving up.
...but you always were a realist,
and you've changed me more than I'd like to admit.