That small lump of cement
It sits there for a practical use
That is to have souls walk across
But then there is you
Sitting still as stone on top of it
Your mask is slipping dear
I see those crack
The ones I tried to mend
Those that you hid from me
Now you you refuse me
Cast away my loving hand
You sit there in pieces
And all I can do
Is leave you curbside

How can one feel attacked in their own home?
Simply.
Looks of disgust
Stinging words
Whole worlds burn
In the fiery pits

Arms left hanging above my head
As a silent war wages
Words of torment ring
Through my head

Sitting here with others
While a silent torture is mine to endure
My body daring to continue
Mind falling to pieces

He who should save me
Is the cause of my torment
She who has saved me
Is my dearest wish

The wish I dare to dream
Forgiveness not a possibility
Fantasies turning into reality
Though my mind continues to dissect

Everything good
That comes my way
Falls to my hearts blade
In the form of attacks

Rough as a teddy bear
Outstanding is his personality
Breaking is not his way
Excited for life
Rare to find
Thoughtful as a wild cat

No one compares
Intellectual is her nature
Caring is her belief
Love is her pride
Equality is her goal

Haunting beauty
Angle like eyes
No filter for the better
Artistic beyond compare

You were there
You swept in and lifted me
Made me see the light
My strength you became
But in exchange I was your kryptonite
Stealing away your life
Whispering crazed words in the dark
Love so powerful
It tore apart our lives
Dissected us into pieces
Your cape fell flat
As you were my wind under wings
I apologize
You turn my words away
I ****** you dry
Ruined your shine

I destroyed my superman.

That blue fabric so rough against my skin. The familiar grated vision. Supple worn leather loosely hangs on my finger tips. Wind comes through the small hole on the side of the black. My extended arm lets off a string of silver attacks. Blocked by the masked figure before me. We begin the dance of death. Only one shall prevail. Red shall fall on our black and white forms.

What am I to do?
The pen I held dear now strikes
Like a cobra in the brush
Words burn to be released
But something holds them down
You encouraged me so
And now I am wrecked beyond help
I will perish

Will you cry?
Once I am gone
Will tears fall from those emerald pools
Would those beautiful memories resurface
I should say I wish this upon you
But how could I ever utter such a thing
You belong in such a sacred part of my heart
I could never truly hurt you
Though my moments of weakness ruined us

Would you come back?
If I lay down my pen and weapons
Change all I can
Let loose logic
To wreck havoc
On those wretched emotions

Could you give me one last chance?
My last chance at happily ever after
To feel those strong arms around me
Soft but sturdy hands on my hips
Silky smooth lips on mine once more
To see those shining emeralds gleamer
With something other than tears

Please come back

Passion seeps from her
Loving beyond compare
Uncontrollable for her own good
More of a person than anyone else

Such a simple pile of letters
It shouldn't mean so much
But hearing your father utter it
Makes you chest tighten
With anger, fear, sadness
It doesn't matter
They all feel the same
Something he doesn't understand
He pokes fun at
But at what expense?
At his daughters expense
Such unkept recent
Striving in the old ways
Five simple letters
Two easy syllables
One not truly bad word
But on the lips of an unknowing loved one
This simple thing stings
Brings tears to your eyes
As your ears bleed red
Shouts of anger
Thoughts of hatred
Simple gestures left for dead
No one left for you
You wander the narrow-minded streets
Those letters ringing inside your head
They were said with such little thought
As if it were not in the presence of the twisted
But as it was said
You bring it into your *****
Nurture it with discontent and cold stares
Soon you are left haggard and bent in two
This once so simple thing
Now an uncontrolled being
Eating at you
Tearing your mind apart
While the pain numbs you
Remember where this started
A father figure's lips falling open
Five letters coming out
Sounding in two syllables
Stringed into one word;
Lezbo

Words can not translate
This death inside me
Though it is nothing
To the pain I caused

Words to sharp to be held close
Shoes left to bare toes
Tears running down cheeks
Embraces one sided

Words can not fix this
They only further dispute
Actions could possibly
Save my sense of reality

Words were the beginning
Those of sincere concern
Looks of secret passion
All lead to devastation  

Words of endearment
Now left open ended
No place to rest in the cold
Winter is drawing nearer

Words of colder weather
Bring beautiful water clearer
White snow drifts fill
Those old hand prints

Words brought my world to a halt
Shattered my soul
Tore at my heart
All else is to be sold

Words of bargains to learn
Broken minds excluded
Those who tease me
Should learn to fear me

Words of rage spilt
Across open air
Red drips
Through the storm grate

Words broke me
But they also healed
Now they steel me
Away from humanity

Words whispered in ears
These all took root
'She's poisonous' they hiss
This is not amiss

Words birth beliefs
Those that wreck worlds
My world fell
Never to to rebuild

Words can not explain
This hollow hunger that eats me
Busy all day
But still I miss you

Words of longing
Caught in my throat
Once to sweet
Now cut much to deep

Words of caution to those I seek
I beg you now
Leave as swiftly
With fear under feet

Words of wonder at last
How is one to forgive my mistakes?
All that I'm worth I put it all at stake
My love must compete against the hate.

Shroud in morning light,
My heart sinks,
As she lays in the arms of another,
Her beautiful laughter ringing out.

So sad it is not to cause her laughter,
Not to be the warm arms she craves,
Never again to wake up to sleepy kisses;
She loves another now.

Once upon a time,
We spoke of happily ever after.
Now all that's left is long looks
And stolen breaths.

Still, when her eyes find mine
I see the spark.
So cleverly hidden
All looks to be dark.

Smooth skin under my touch,
Eyelashes ever so soft flutter close,
Breath held not to escape the moment,
Ghosts of plush lips on mine haunt.

Hair placed behind ears
By ever shaking hands.
The closest they may get
To the one they crave the most.

Eyes so full of hidden hurt
All I want is to pull her close
Whisper my love for her
And hear her breath my name.

Protection from the nightmares
Is something I may not be able to give.
Though I will always be here
A safe haven for her defense.

Bodies made for each other,
Fit together like long lost halves of one forever heart.
Minds so different,
They always seem to complete each other.

Secrets whispered in the dark,
While breaths stir mused hair of the other.
The ability to trust thought to be forever lost,
Found in the love of a guarded heart.

Little hits here and there
Snide comments left hanging in air
From all angles it seems familiar
Until one brave one shines truth on the matter.

I never saw these things as bad
They were part of the life I've lead
She showed me light
And now I'm scared.

If pushed to far
where am I left?
Laying hurt and bruised
With no where to go?

Bruised as week old apples in the back row
Haggard and worn until all is a blur
Left behind closed doors
Hidden under colder weather.

Beautiful things are never truly alive
They sit on a shelf waiting
Waiting for someone to choose them
They never choose themselves

The ones that choose are dead
Dead on the outside
But so full of life with in
The others just can't tell

Beautiful things are dead inside
They care for little
But show so much pride
They have so much to hide.

You slip behind my walls
Like they were never there.
My warrior's solitude broken
Your behind my enemies lines

Walls are there for protection
You are breaking all my rules
Smiles are start to slip up
My mask is starts to crumble  

My fear returns
Of being hurt.
You ask what's wrong
And I hesitate to say:

"Walls were built so I'm protected
No one is to be behind them
But you have made you way there
Though I love you being here"

You look at me
Not even for a moment
And with all certainty say:
"I will protect you"

I melt at the sound of your voice
Words desired to heard for so long
Rang out among the frosted trees
Speaking truth never heard before

Warriors should never be alone
Masks are be worn for all but one.
A warm sanctuary of no solitude
This is home of the warrior.

Stop crying little girl
We don't need her
We are strong
We will survive

No matter what you think
She is not what we need
We need control
And there is none with her

Lock away those feelings
Take your heart off your sleeve
Grab your mask off the shelf
And put on your warrior face

No one can touch you
If you give them nothing.
No one can touch you
If you take nothing.

Love left scars
But everything can be hidden
We were so new at the game
That we got played

Take no ones hand
Shed no more tears
No more being open
All is to be closed in

No door or window left unlocked.
We have no heart
She kept that
As she took the wind with her.

Control and structure must win
Confined's must be conformed to.
No grave left to dig
For warriors do not fall

We can take care of our self
No need for sacrifice
Care and love cut
With precision and pain

Warriors live in solitude
That's all we can hope
No more need for smiles
No more warmth to cuddle

There's no need to be hurt.

I know it's not fair
I know it's not right
These feelings I have
Bring nothing but despair.

You are my light
When fog claws at my mind.
Though what am I to do,
When the light is not there?

I see the light
In my minds eye
Images run ramped
Feeling cut lose.

My heart has hardened
If only for a moment
Thoughts cut deep
As if knives in the dark.

I am not scared
Of things like the dark.
I am scared
Of what comes with the dark.

Even when I'm in your arms tight
The monsters want to stay and play.
My mind is not welcome here
For all it brings is fear and tears.

My mind is the monsters in the dark
It is what makes these unjust feelings
It wraps me in chains
Whenever you are not here.

I know it's to much
But I am my minds new play thing
So please stay here
For I fear of times unknown.

Others have names for it
From good to bad.
But I hope you know I try
To suppress these feelings of the night.

Though you say you will stay
And I believe you will
My mind refuses to play along with this game,
It has decided on new rules on how to play.

It keeps me up at night
To tie spined ribbons in bows
Around my heart.
It makes it hard when you do not stay.

I once again know
That you would not play these games.
Though my mind still presses replay
With your name to an old face.

Old fears do not know their place
They try to worm their way in.
After having been resurrected
By my minds cruel ways.

I'm sorry for all of this madness.
But my mind is taking me farther into wonderland
To where wander drops back to fear
And my heart is caught prisoner.

You unlock the cage that my mind has put around my heart.
But once moments return to memories
And warmth has died always
My mind cones back out to play.

You are my new drug
And I love every second of it.
I don't crash every moment we're apart
Only when no words have been spoken.

My voice grows stronger with the thought of you,
And my heart is once again light as a feather
My eyes open to see lights in the stars
Just as if you were here.

My mind still pushes me toward others,
But my heart is firmly rooted in you.
My mind also pushes the idea of you with other,
But my heart knows you are true.

I know these things that I feel are not feelings,
But the pain does not realize this,
It's all the same to it
For the pain is a creation of my mind and heart.

There's something trapped inside me
Pushing to get out
Begging for release
Trying to be seen.

The walls keep close eyes on me
So I close mine tight.
Try to be happy
And suffer through the night.

Few things truly bring me bliss
What I would give
For one last
Goodnight kiss.

Simplicity found
As if reborn
Laughter brought tears
And me laying on the ground.

Held tight
To be safe
Never to be let go
Always to have a place.

Trembles let lose
Kisses on cheeks.
With beautiful eyes
That must see the light.

Warmth speed throughout
Arms wrapped around
Breaths mingled
Eyes begin to close.

No shadow of a doubt
I would never leave
This is where I belong
My heart is in the lead.

The best of pillows
Move on their own
To pull you close
And never let you leave.

Random morning wake ups
Just to be in the moment
To look in to closed eyes
Writing on her back.

I miss you inevitably
It's that twisting pulling feeling i get
At the bootum of my heart
In the pit of my stomach.

The desparate need to be near you
The pain of hearing your voice.
Nothing can replace you
I have already tried and will lose again.

Seeing you every day to day
Not to touch you or to pull you close
That wrenching feling every time
Those painful beautiful memories come to mind.

Nights are the worse
Darkness folds in, and I swear...

I can feel your arms around me
Your lips brushing against mine
The feeling of breath caressing my check
Along with warmth once so near now fleeting.

Those whispered words of affection are now lost in translation
You speak words I'm unable to follow
My need for protection is nearing perfction
I've lost you my dear and have no way to reach you

I love you so hopelessly, it's eating at me carelessly
society warned me but i came after you anyways

You loved me though right?
After all those late nights
You must have felt something, but to give up this fight?

They said I was poison
They warned you were selfish
But I never left not even for a second

Where did I leave you?
How did I miss you?
Those feelings you left me,
They've all but consumed me.

He walks past me without a look,
Step by step he distances himself,
Origin or not
My love what is there.

I stand at attention.
Every fiber of my being full,
Condensation reappears,
Even though it's not here.

Dusk has fallen,
My vision gone red.
Fog clouds my mind
Till I cannot hold on any longer.

I lounge forward,
Grasp his shirt front.
Crash our mouths together
Like two men of war meeting on the front.

Shook washes over him,
Though the stone he's made of quickly melts.
My back soon clawed at
As we feel so alive behind closed doors.

Frowned upon,
But we don't care,
My heart flies
As we both say;

I love him.

Kind eyes,
Slight smile,
All I need,
To feel relief.

Calculating,
Mending,
And always thinking
How to feel relief.

Warmth encircling,
Demons run,
Bliss remains,
Relief floods me.

He knows how I feel,
I know how he feels,
Neither one wants to give in.
It's all up to her.

He knows her so well,
While I know so little,
She loves  us both.
It's all up to her.

He's willing to let go,
Can she let him do that?
How will it end?
It's all up to her.

I am already lost in her eyes,
Her nervous smile,
Her hand in mine.
It's all up to her.

He has been there,
While I was here,
She deserves her desire.
It's all up to her.

Can I plant the seed,
for a relationship,
With my beloved fruit?
It's all up to her.

To be held close,
Fingers intertwined,
Feather light touches.
That's all I want.

Words of truth,
Whispered in ears,
Stars the only witness.
That's all I want.

Arms Wrapped around,
Lips near my ear,
Moments to remember.
That's all I want.

Silk woven around,
Our own little World,
Smiles all we see.
That's all I want.

Wounds healed,
Scars traced,
Love our new addiction.
That's all I want.

To be the only one,
To look deep into her eyes,
To make her smile light up.
That's all I want.

She is all that I want.

What people say means nothing to me,
Pain is all I feel.
All stops for her touch,
Personalities go hand in hand.

How I wish for relief,
To relieve the depression.
Rewrite all that's said,
So I can go hand in hand.

We all stop for her voice,
Though I can't take my eyes off of her.
My mind is lost
All to go spinning hand in hand.

Does she see me?
Can she tell?
My mind whirls as if silk in the wind.
Does she want to go hand in hand?

Hug to short,
Distance to far,
Hands just right
To go hand in hand.

She looks my way.
The fruit of my eyes.
She wants it too,
We leave hand in hand.

Gliding through life,
Like Seagulls in the mist.
Riding that high
As social misfits.

With a considerate twitch
For which we have nothing
Silence remains
As do our pens.

We write of our fights,
Though few believe.
Until all is gone
And we forever leave.

Crying and caring,
Bleeding and breathing,
All blend into
Ever present pain.

They cry for us,
Dry tears.
Standing in sullen crowds
Surrounded by sad clowns.

It strikes down
Like thunder in the night
Black and Blue
But all I see is swirling red.

His words worse than blows.
Silent tears begin to flow
He is all I see.
My black knight.

Head throbbing
Throat closing
All of me sinking
Air depleting.

Voices swirling,
Through my Head.
Like Water twirling,
Far above my head.

Red stars falling,
Wishing they would come,
Take away the pain.
Oblivion.

Why did he have to blow,
My will away
I'm left empty of all but sorrow,
Water Fills my Veins.

Good Bye.

Behind veil and dagger,
Lays saddened eyes,
Patiently waiting,
For pain to fade.

Looming Shadows stalk,
Through crowded streets.
Fighting demons,
To break away.

Flight on feet,
Running with all her might,
But under a tree
Sits the light.

Enchanting eyes,
Open mind,
A melting smile.
Seen over miles.

She trips and stumbles
Masquerades fumble.
Takes a seat
Against all odds.

Demons and shadows surround,
But she has found,
Her new ******* bliss
Her perfect kiss.

The demons all miss
Their old ******* bliss
That now sits
With what she can't resist.

A shadowy kiss,
Away from the light,
Makes her Tremble
As if a leaf from his tree.

Tears shed,
Colors shown,
He leans in
To kiss the girl.

Floating in a sea,
Faces all I see.
A beacon of light ahead,
Warning of dangers unseen.

For me,
My life is the sea,
Wasting away in misery.

Masks never left unguarded.
Their stares never waver
For all they see,
Is the foaming sea.

Darkness lurks below,
The enticing surface.
For waves seem so far away
That all is believed to be free.

Thought to be stable,
No chance of Catastrophe,
When in reality
The sea is a home of swirling prison bars.

To be set free...

Three times now,
Once a year
You’re poison beckons
For me to come home.

But home is full of prison bars.
Hollow warmth fills me,
Screaming flows over me
The feel of your lips tempting.

Though flesh turns to stone
My body a tundra
You’re voice the wind
Ravishing a tundra

Syllable by syllable
Shiver by shiver
Dark as day
My black night.