Oh Doctor,
You have been so kind.
I'll be going back to you soon
For you to check up on me
again.
I'm not complaining,
Because he makes me laugh oh so much.
He's great.
I giggle and laugh as he
Hits my knee with that thingy and
Does his regular routine check.
He started tearing up as I
Told him about my thoughts
And he understood and
Even listened.
I told him how sad I've been
And how empty I am.
How much I
Want to not be here anymore.
How I've even cut
Because of everything.
But then he grabbed my hand
Told me everything was going to be better
And asked, "do you have a plan?"
I smiled, said no.
Because it's true,
I don't.
I wanted to but
I didn't and that's how he knew.
That's how he knew that
Maybe I'm not fully
Afraid of living.

I guess I'll sew my fingers together now
And swim to some green shore out there that no one really knows about
Right after I sweep the remaining string under the carpet

As I opened the medicine cabinet
carefully hidden behind a broken mirror,
I discovered transparent orange bottles
with broken childproof tabs on each cap,
concealing diet pills the size of ants.

I replaced the capsules with fully bloomed daisies
and I hope you swallow each petal
and ingest each stem entirely
so you can eat something that,
like you, encompasses beauty.

One cut
Two cut
Deeper and deeper
The blade almost disappears in my wrist
My depression has gotten worse
My suicidal tendencies increased
Wonder how fast the ambulance will take
If no one else is home
No one even close
I'm in the middle of nowhere
Your God doesn't even know I'm here
No wonder my prayers were ever answered
One reason why I'm an atheist
One swig
Two swig
Pain still isn't numbed
Why must I suffer
Why am I bleeding so slowly
I think I lost a lot
What a shame it is
I was beginning to think I was happy
Guess I was wrong
When am I ever right
One pill
Two pill
Maybe I should think about this
What am I leaving behind
What am I doing
**** it
Nobody ever saw my pain
I wore this mask for too long
It became a permant reflection
Why couldn't it have been transparent
Hello my name is "Suicidal"
I wish you could of gotten to know me
I'm sorry if this causes you pain
Call it selfish
Call it whatever you want
I'll call it "the solution to the problem I have become"
Goodbye my name is now "Dead"
Wish you the best of luck
Don't cry at my funeral
I don't want to drown in tears
Even in death
Might as well not show
The preacher man wont even be there
No one will come
News of my death
Will be music to a deaf society
My Obituary will just have my name, DOB, and DOD

Another age is weeping
Feirce the killing heart
No more time in grace
Let us  tear the age apart
False scent of fear blinds us all
Wish I could wish Mann undone
Demons and angels rise to the call
For the souls bleeding out in the sun
When those sworn to god spew lgnorance
What hope is there for the lamb
History lays bear our indifference
Of those who use god in their damm
Righteous or evil the point is the view
Contradiction I say it is not
Cry for the children the least you can do
Some would say we deserve what you got
There lies the question
With no answer clear
Stain of Mann is consuming the sun
If death is the lesson
Dance in the fear
Dream evil when kingdom is come