She's sitting out in the courtyard
Holding a cigarette between her slim fingers
Chipped red nail polish
Shaking hands
Reading the worn out pages
Of her dog eared book
Concentrating on each page
Like her life depends on it
And it does
She clings to the words trying
Not to hold on to her broken heart
Tucking her hair behind her ear
She turns to the next page
Shaking, taking another draw
Such pain in the way she sits
Curled in upon herself
Blocking out the world
No one approaches her
She sits alone

Let me tell you about my bad days
They pop up out of nowhere
In the middle of a laugh
Or maybe a joke
In the middle of an adventure
It just hits
Like running into a brick wall full force
Leaving me breathless
Gasping for just an ounce of oxygen
And it feels like running into a brick wall
Would hurt less
I lose all motivation to do anything
Wishing I could just lay back
And pretend I don't exist
Maybe have a plane fall out of the sky
Putting me out of my misery
Thinking every thought that has run
Through my head millions of times before
Every thought of death and pain
Every daydream of dying over and over
Sixty different ways
Sometimes with no idea why
All of this pain out of nowhere
For absolutely no reason
Hoping someone might see it and recognize
Pull me away from depression's cold grip
These are bad days
They are not beautiful they are dark
Cold, bleak, filled with pain
Don't romanticize it or wish for it
I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy