one of the rare benefits
of being an invisible super-girl
that fits into everything
and vanishes into whispers.
i am allowed more.
i am allowed prolonged glances
i am allowed fixed stares
or tight grips;
it is allowed to be deliberate and brazen.
i am allowed to touch
to say too much
i steal and take so greedily.
i am allowed more
and i take what i can get.
until it's too much
then, i am allowed to cry
i am allowed to feel guilt
and fear of crossing the line
i am allowed shame
and regret
and more.

girls are red and scary
girls are awkwardness and facing down
girls are a spark left to burn by accident
that grows into a fire
girls are safety until I cross the line.
boys are blue and big
boys are awkwardness and facing ahead
boys are a spark that gives out warmth and light
boys are doubt until it starts to happen.
girls are legs of lead and hands that are too big
doing what they're not supposed to
or ?
boys are airless lungs
and clumsy feet
running where they're not supposed to
or ?

I should’ve
waited
for someone
like
her to
come
into my
life.

Sometimes when sorrow sinks in
I worry a wailing might screech from my chest
And every person for miles might hear it.
Or feel it shake the air, like hot flame
Ripples carrying my saddest indulgence
As the beast that weighs me down, croons.
So that people quaking, step out of the way
And we have room to sing the lonely wail, some more.

We fell in love by chance,
We stay in love by choice.

How many letters
Murmur the name of hide and seek
Where the seeker has always been
An undesirable position