I try.
I try to remind myself
when I had you I didn't want you
I try to remember
the nights when you held me
were some of my loneliest nights
I try to think about all the fights
the wasted time
But here I am
still trying to be yours

I'm in your arms again
What am I doing?
I need to be alone again
Why is it so hard?
I enjoy being by myself
Running just to get away
Long walks as a little escape
But here I am
I'm in your arms again
And I feel more alone than ever

It's been over six months now
Since I felt your body, breathed you in, had you as my man
But here I am
Still craving your touch, the sound of your voice, the smell of your skin
What is wrong with me?
Why can't I let this go?
What is he thinking right now?
Thoughts like these overwhelm me everyday
I want to be your girl again
The girl that makes you laugh
The girl that you have to wiggle toes with to sleep
Most importantly the girl that makes you happy
Will this ever happen??
I know the answer, but I continue to dream
Everyday and every night you still cross my mind
There was a time
I thought, "Hey girl you are doing fine!"
I wasn't happy, but I was content, even optimistic
But then I get one text
I miss you it says
My heart sinks to my gut and just like that I feel everything again
He tells me that he is still in love, that I stole his heart!
Its happening! it's all coming together!
Ah! A miracle! I'm dancing around again
Then.
Just like that the texts stop and the distance begins.
I don't know what I want he says.
And there I am again. Back to where it all began.
All I can think is will these feelings ever end?

It's not even nine and you are already on my nerves,
yet here I go writing and sending you love poems
Something has to be wrong with me, I just know it
craving attention from you one second, hating you the other
Trying to make this into something, we both know it isn't
I have a craving for love, a need for it, but this is not it.

I made my way towards a voice singing as softly as smoke,
Its melody ringing through my mind like a hex.
Bewitched by its sound, I followed it blindly down a dirt path.

But when I came upon the man who sang so beautifully,
And explained I had traveled very far
To listen to his song,
He turned and said simply,
You are a fool.
For I am nothing, but an idea inside your chest.