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Victoria Kiely Feb 2015
Nostalgia ate at my stomach like poison where it had already been tied into knots

I sat bare on my stripped floor; I nakedly stared into your eyes without inhibitions

And I insist on remembering you like that. I insist that I once knew you and that you

Once knew me and you knew that I needed you to go because I would never leave

And I refuse to believe that you did this because you did not love me.

You loved me in the way that you love your favourite book that is written in another tongue

You knew me but you couldn’t pretend to read my slurred words anymore.

I had transformed from the characters of your language to mine and its okay that you

Had to put me back on the shelf to let somebody else read the words you couldn’t.

I know that you still love my story, but my cracked spine won’t rest in your hands anymore

And I accept that. You knew it was time to let me go. I accept that.
Victoria Kiely Sep 2014
And so, just as we had begun, we decline again into nothingness among the stars. We had come from the dust travelling at unfathomable speeds into the abyss untraveled by people we cant quite seem to grasp anymore. We only truly see ourselves and how we fit into our lives, not how our lives fit into the world outside of us. When we dissolve, we become the stuff of thoughts outside of our capacity. We cannot fathom the unknown because for us, it simply does not exist.
Victoria Kiely Sep 2014
Do you cross my mind? Yes. Of course you do, but I have been far too focused on that fact. I have been trying too earnestly to push your small words, hints, and phrases into a different part of me that has faded in my rear view mirror when I should have focused on this fact instead: You no longer reside here. I don't let you live in my mind, or in the spaces I call home anymore. I haven't for a while now.

I can tell you that I miss you. I can tell you that I loved you. But I know in my heart that the only part of you that will stay with me now is the piece of you that walks with me down that dark path in my tail lights that are too quickly fading. We were fleeting perfection, this truth is indisputable.

But you don't get the privilege to call my head or heart home anymore. You gave that up when you decided that home was curled under her tongue, and god does that hurt to think about. You ran away from home, and I changed the locks.

You cross my mind frequently, frequently enough for me to write this, but never frequently enough to stay. You no longer have a place in my future. I thought I couldn't accept this fact, but it is better this way. For one can only conclude that love is not allowing a person to fill your walls with their company. Love is allowing someone to open the window, to fix the front door that hasn't opened for some time now. Love is building a home together.

So, you may visit whenever you like, God knows I have no control over that. But you are no longer allowed to consume more of my time, thoughts or energy than is necessary. I know that you simply aren't able to contribute to this home anymore - that's okay. I won't blame you for it. May you one day find shelter where I could not provide it.
Recently broke up with the man whom I had believed was what made home, "home".
Victoria Kiely Aug 2014
I have never been a fan of the way jeans hug too tightly. The fat on my body has always found a way to spill over the button or stretch the seams until they are near ripping. The way we have constructed things to hold in what we cannot or do not wish to see astounds me. Jeans are like the confinements of connection where one person connecting with another person is like two legs joined only briefly at the hemline. I am a truth too hard to swallow, the type that cannot wallow in confinement. I do not know bounds; I have never been good at colouring within the lines.  Where we know we can only hold so much before breaking, we constantly seem to be biting off more than we can chew and filling the jeans more tightly than we mean to. I am constantly spilling over the edge with anticipated words and phrases that are often too much of a burden. I am stuffing and stuffing and stuffing that leg full with promises I can only keep within the boundaries set by the fabric of your blue jeans.
Victoria Kiely Aug 2014
Each and every day I have learned to extrapolate what I have learned from yesterday into a new tomorrow where I can do better by you, for you. I multiply my knowledge by yours and together we soar into this new and untraveled business of becoming something we don’t know how to name just yet, but we already agree is better. I take the effort I know how to give and give it twice, with more intensity and surety than ever before. I will always try harder for you.
Victoria Kiely Aug 2014
I’m slowly realizing just how finite
we all are, that my days on this Earth are
numbered. but I know, too, that death is just
as impending as any other far
prospected tomorrow that I may face.
Tomorrow may come in the shell of an
Adventure; it could be the day I find
the courage to live, that I desperately
seek. Perhaps today I will find nothing
Or maybe what I look for is by now
found. Recently my days have been passing
quietly. I’ve been keeping my head down
And living life tidily, afraid to
look up and find that what I might see is
just another day quickly passing me.
But my head has been held down for too long -
I’ve been watching my feet move busily
While I should have kept my eyes on the stars
Turning slowly in seasons like the leaves
on the trees. Instead I have only watched
the slow and sickle buckle in my knees
Where have my eyes been focused as of late?
I could have sworn that ten years ago was
only a yesterday ago. Instead,
it is a recollection floating right
behind the veil of memory that has
become too transparent to really see.
Where do we draw the line between today
and tomorrow; when did the spilt blood of
then trickle into the veins of today?
Victoria Kiely Jun 2014
Stirring in the streets of Manhattan walks a business man, bustling through a thick crowd on his way to work. He does not look up into the eyes of others who pass by. He doesn't pause or stop, nor skip a stride. He is anonymous.

Stirring in the sheet of a young mans bed is a woman, pulling the great duvet from between her naked legs. She does not bother to wake the make from his sleep, but pulls the covers past & under his feet. She leaves his apartment with the door still unlocked. He does not know her name. She, too, is anonymous.

Disturbed as he tries to sleep, beneath him a park bench creaks. The newspaper covering his arms in the cold November air ruffles. Some people pass, feet carefully shuffling as they pretend they cant hear his teeth chattering loud and clear. He draws the sports section close to his chest, trying to find long sought out rest. Anonymous.

Faces hidden by profession or prejudice, each one carried by mislead impressions. The person you see walking down the street or in his sheets, on the park benches beneath hail and sleet, both are and aren't what they seem.

The beauty in anonymity is that you can be who you want to be without witness, independent from your aesthetics and riches. For a time, you are somebody you are not. The stories that follow the stranger in the street are theirs to keep.

To you, they are only the business man of Manhattan, the woman in Satin, or the old man who sleeps on the bench in Rohatyn.

Anonymous.
quick poem pulled together today. haven't written in a while and ended up writing a spoken word poem. ?
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