why can't you figure out how to unravel her mind
as quickly as you do the straps holding up her dress
unlucky for you,
the girl you've laid eyes on
craves the tenderest kind of sweetness
the kind you only find wrapped
in trust and innocence.
if you asked me,
I'd say,
            "honey, you're looking for love in the wrong place"
yet, your eyes dart down instead of up into the light
but see, even then, I don't think you’re blind
you're simply complacent
unable to see your debility
in recognizing true, mysterious beauty
for where your eyes see *******
lies a soul, a chasm
of infinite depth,
illuminated by sunlight.
if you were able to finally see it,
you'd quiver and shake in delight.

Hunger sinks teeth into my side,
and enshrouds my ignorant mind.
I can no longer bear the torture
of being lonely and confined.

The treacherous prospect of waiting
threatens to rip me apart,
As hunger's tendrils grip tighter
around my swollen, beating heart.

I wish there was another way
to quench my insatiable need,
If I can’t indulge, I must implode
So I fall to my knees and plead

“Slash your knife along my torso,
Twist, pull, and disembowel me”

What is the point of life
if not this?
Perhaps there is a reason
to exist
As I breathe with the earth
and sway with the trees
Thoughts materialize before me
Appear, only to disappear
I realize everything comes
only to eventually pass
And to think I lived in fear
that my happiness wouldn't last
Now that I'm here with you
I don't need it to
I don't need it to.

Why has my heart grown so cold
Now that I have a hand to hold
Yearned to love when I was alone
But all I craved was the unknown
I finally know, and I no longer know
What it is I want, and what it is I don’t
The only thing I'm certain of
is I feel nothing
                    anymore.

I see passion in the way you ignore me,
your grave attempts to evade my gaze
But your eyes meet mine
and they can't look away

Would you rather experience true love and die young,
or would you rather live a good life and die old, never having loved?
I think, I would prefer the first
Because I cannot wait to be in love, and I cannot wait to die.
Yes! I cannot wait!
I cannot wait anymore!
With the threat of death close,
Life would mean so much more
If I had someone
to live for

I just want to
Taste your love kissing me
See your hands reach for me
Hear your soul sing for me
Feel your heart beat for me
I just need you to
Let me love you
Like I was always meant to
Or will you always be
Just a beautiful dream
For me to long for
But never reach?

The fruit that lies before me
is neither above nor beneath.
Wasting thought on fruitless worry,
existing for the pursuance of grief.
wasting your love by craving more,
accomplishing nothing but a heart
being torn.

The forest sings softly, songs of harmony
Trees weave branches, intertwined

Worry floats up as clouds, stress fades to dust
Arms lock and hearts weld, intertwined

Colors dissolve, blend, and climb
Vision flows in waves, intertwined

People laugh, dance, and cry
Souls combine, intertwined

We are nothing,
Everything intertwined

The summer Irish breeze
feels just like you did
during those cold winter weeks
when my extra pounds weighed heavy,
when the snow smothered trees

Walking faster, then you ran
left me with nothing
but a car bomb and a pen
now when I look in the lake
I see your face
and it dissolves into sand

do you still look for me?
up in the pines
if the wind whispered, “it’s she you need”
just wander north, follow the sky
to the Irish countryside
and feel me in the breeze

jasmine is known to be
sweet and delicate
her life a never ending poem
and as she reads,
she slowly forgets.

jasmine devotes her life
to finding where she belongs
but she finds herself circling,
chasing her tail
forgetting that love was inside her
all along.

you see, jasmine's a traveler at heart
yet always confused on where to go
trying to create a perfect world
when her happiness can only be found
through word.

jasmine is known
to be sweet and delicate
her life a never ending poem
that, as she reads,
she slowly forgets.

desperately chasing her tail
to discover where she belongs
only to find herself circling, heading nowhere
she forgets that love has been in her
all along.

see, jasmine's a traveler at heart
yet always confused on where to go
trying to find herself a perfect world
when her world can only be created
through words.

My fears have become amplified
They consume me.
Other people worry
about being watched,
about talking too much,
but my biggest fear is
my mere existence.
The idea that my senses
all allude me
I am just as likely to be standing
as I am sitting down
I am just as likely to be here
as I am elsewhere
I am just as likely to be awake
as I am asleep
Nothing that I see or feel
is real
Everything I type and read is
a fabrication
a delusion
an allusion
to it being a fantasy
Perhaps my life
has all been
just a dream

I try
To forget
Someone I never met.
But it hurts to let
g  o.

lily tells me she’s a lover at heart
i’d love to love her, but every time I try
she places her hand on my mouth
and looks up at the sky.
“I just don’t get it.
I can’t understand why
no one wants to love me.”

I reply,
“don't you ever think, just maybe
love is all around you
and you refuse to see?”
she frowns and furrows her brow
lily says she has an open mind
but she doesn’t want to listen
to what others have to say
maybe if she learned how
she’d let herself be loved
                            before she could run away

Look into my eyes.
Can you see it?
My loneliness
weeps
even when I cannot

I met the strangest girl  
with messy hair and a crooked smile,
a heart that beat too quickly
and legs that ran for miles.
she loved to squeeze up next to me,
run her fingers down my leg
but her eyes looked far beyond
as her mind floated away
today she looked inside of me,
hair falling soft on her cheek
her parted lips began to move
but her soul refused to speak.

“so, I’ve been thinking
of heading off.
joining a brand new band,
singing a fresh new song.
you know I’ve always been happiest
simply drifting along.
I feel so peaceful here,
but I can’t stand anything
for far too long”

I answer,
“even me?”
she stares back blankly, smiles
and looks beyond

he asked me,
"what is the point of living
if you deprive yourself
of loving?"
and I answered,
"I live for almost nothing.
loving you has turned me
into a fool.
I love,
       and I loathe,
                      you."

It's all here
Laid out for you
Just come and take
What's already yours

I want to watch
You wear my skin,
Devour my organs,
And bathe in my blood

I miss the feeling
Of forgetting my name
Of losing my breath
Of losing myself
Whenever you were around
But the truth is
I didn’t know you at all
I never fell for you
I only loved the way
You made me feel
And now I will never feel that way
again.

I don't understand how I've gone
From being unseen and invisible
To suddenly becoming beautiful
It's but a trick of the eye
A slip of the tongue
Mistake of the heart
That causes their gaze
to fall on me
It's just a misunderstanding, I say
For one day
They will realize
I am not the person
they think I am

I know that you will never love me
how I need you to
because your heart is simply
not able to
you will never comprehend
the ocean that flows
within my mind
or a love that transcends all confines
and surpasses linear time
a love universal and arcane,
not earthly and mundane

your idea of loving me
feels empty, bland and meek
you touch me,
press your lips against me,
a momentary release
it ends as soon as it begins

I'll pretend to understand
but my mind will be in the sky
yearning for what
you cannot provide

Look over your shoulder
And you’ll find me there, staring
Admiring your hidden perplexities
Your mysterious and alluring secrets
That draw me in with every glance

Blood starts to pour from my eyes
I cry that your perfect imperfection
Is unworthy of my sight
But I can’t help but notice
You staring back

Begging for mercy
Dreading the cost
An eternity spent
Confused,
Lost,
         Nailed to the cross.

The sound of buzzing
Plagued my ears
Till one day,
I swallowed the nest of wasps

Cataclysmic pain
is far more bearable
than monotony.

I feel every neuron bouncing in my head
Shooting electrical currents
back and forth.
back and forth.
back and forth.
One plane to the next
Moving my neck
side to side.
side to side.
side to side.
I lay supine
and think,
"I can't stop thinking"
My ears are ringing
My mouth is dry
my eyes are bleeding.

Seared my flesh with burns
All I wanted was closure
Too bad I'm in hell

Tainted by delusion
A meaningless existence
Enshrouded in confusion
and polluted innocence
My mind continues to elude me
As my thoughts sink deeper into
obscurity

The observer
Is surrounded by a sea of people
But is entirely alone
They look in your direction
But they can’t see your soul
And, though you can pretend
To be one of them,
You will always be elsewhere
Observing

But you are gifted
With a conscious mind
This world is yours
To explore and find
Beauty in the ugliest faces,
Meaning in the darkest places,
So unravel the smothering laces
Of your petty, cynical wit
For your mind’s potential
has no limit

my hunger will never be satisfied
for what I crave is not food
and feeling the emptiness satiates
more than eating ever could
when I starve,
my mind is occupied
and I forget that I'm alone
the pangs hit deep
and I smile
as they strike bone

she walks and talks like no one is watching
and you can always find her wandering,
singing and dancing with the flowers
swinging and swaying with the trees
it isn't until their eyes fall on her
that she realizes she's been perceived
she wonders if she ever wanted to be known
but she also knows,
she doesn't want to be alone

a touch so soft
even a petal
can feel its love

Memories of you
Are all I have left
Trying so hard to hold on
Trying not to forget

Whenever I try to reminisce,
The memories I so dearly miss,
Are nothing more than pain and tears
Ugly like the devil’s kiss

You are nothing but a phantasm
That turns beautiful memories
Into monstrosities

I thought I'd never be satisfied with
a love that doesn’t fill me with fear
one that makes me question
everything I thought was real
everything I thought I knew
you convinced me I was no one
without you.
I wanted to hate myself with the most
intimate, lustful passion
like you always did
I never believed that love can be attained
without pain

But I truly want to imagine
That such a man exists
Who doesn't rule the world (and me)
with his iron fists
With feelings genuine and pure,
who gives more than he takes
Lord, if you're out there
Give me one of the good ones
for ****'s sake

opening their petals
raising stamens to the sky
allowing leaves to dance
and pollen to fly
carried by wind,
floating past trees
to one day be cradled
by a neighboring blossom
or the cold soil beneath

Oh how I enjoy
Simply being in your presence
Embracing the quiet and
Letting imagination fill the void
I feel no need to speak
When you are beside me
So I let my lips seal
And my soul
open

Walk with me
And we’ll tell our stories
With breath alone

In this world
the only way to survive
is to pretend.

"I think you're beautiful"
Well, I think you're blind
Perhaps you're a conman
that enjoys spinning lies
So I'll take off my pants
and take you for a ride
Wish I could just blush,
say, "Thanks love, I try!"
But I yell, "*******, ****"
I know I'm not good enough
I'll never understand
why lovely words
hurt me so much.

I hear the rain falling outside
onto my window pane
there is something peaceful
in the sound that it makes
when it leaks through the roof
and burrows into my brain
it eases my thoughts
and drowns out the pain.

When will the day break and the sun shine
into my heart, and I'll realize
I deserve to love
you, and miss you, and touch you, and kiss you
in a world where you felt what I felt
perhaps such a world will never exist
perhaps I simply don't deserve it
how could I even allow myself to be vulnerable
in a way that is beautiful and not repulsive
No.
I can't even look at you
because I know you will eventually see
all the flaws that I do
the scars on my heart
the sadness in my eyes
the wretchedness of my face
you cannot think I'm beautiful
there just isn't a conceivable way
I could be perceived
in the same context
as beauty

As I walk through open fields
My hands graze the grain,
And feel the caress of rain
Comforting me,
whispering:

it’s alright, my dear
our time is overdue
the snow will soon
come
to blanket the world in frost
and when it does
my love
our lives will not be lost
we will always have the chance
to return
once again
so we welcome death
with open arms
and resume our
sacred dance
one day, you too
shall return to soil
and when you do
you’ll ground your roots
and return once more