I felt the gentle rock of the earth
as she held me in nurturing arms
a feeble child, touched by warmth
as we swayed together
I hoped you wouldn't let go
for if the roof came down from above
and the ground caved in
I'd be smothered by your love
and we'd be together again

discomfort is all
I've ever known
so how can comfort
feel like home?
how can I settle for this
when something better might exist?
I feel it in my soul:
the longing
the pining
for what? I do not know
but if I have nothing to reach for
then what do I do?
where can I go?
if I stay with you
I'll still feel alone
I am always uncertain
I am endlessly hurting
I will never be stable
so I'll never be able
to love you

my hunger will never be satisfied
for what I crave is not food
and feeling the emptiness satiates
more than eating ever could
when I starve,
my mind is occupied
and I forget that I'm alone
the pangs hit deep
and I smile
as they strike bone

a touch so soft
even a petal
can feel its love

she walks and talks like no one is watching
and you can always find her wandering,
singing and dancing with the flowers
swinging and swaying with the trees
it isn't until their eyes fall on her
that she realizes she's been perceived
she wonders if she ever wanted to be known
but she also knows,
she doesn't want to be alone

she's silent,
never makes a sound
but every time she moves,
she speaks
and the world listens

he loved her only as a concept
a disembodied fragment
to fit an illusion:
his delusion.

her essence contorts,
twisted and deformed,
so she could fit tightly
into his world.

a tainted story
of man's fabrication
and *******
of womanhood.

I know that you will never love me
how I need you to
because your heart is simply
not able to
you will never comprehend
the ocean that flows
within my mind
or a love that transcends all confines
and surpasses linear time
a love universal and arcane,
not earthly and mundane

your idea of loving me
feels empty, bland and meek
you touch me,
press your lips against me,
a momentary release
it ends as soon as it begins

I'll pretend to understand
but my mind will be in the sky
yearning for what
you cannot provide

I could be a happy song,
a breeze through your hair
a breath of fresh air
but I can't right your wrongs

I can teach you how to sing,
to live a life wild and free
I'll reveal to you the beauty
that waits in corners,
hiding

because it's the little things
the sweet, sweet nothings
that mean everything

when you learn to see,
come and walk with me

he asked me,
"what is the point of living
if you deprive yourself
of loving?"
and I answered,
"I live for almost nothing.
loving you has turned me
into a fool.
I love,
       and I loathe,
                      you."

In this world
the only way to survive
is to pretend.

you say that you love me
but you don't have the heart
you don't have the wit,
you don't think in art
not like I do.

I touched the fragile snow,
watched it slowly melt,
and what I did not know
soon after, I felt
my fingers were no longer cold
but ignited in feverish flame
yet they refused to let go
and continue to hold
the scorching snow
just the same

The desire for attention
is never fulfilled.
the more you get,
the more you need
to fill up
the gap it leaves

Perhaps, the worst thing I could do
is hold onto you.

I hear the rain falling outside
onto my window pane
there is something peaceful
in the sound that it makes
when it leaks through the roof
and burrows into my brain
it eases my thoughts
and drowns out the pain.

I used to fall asleep early
because I knew
I had reason to
wake up
tomorrow.
But now I have
nowhere to go,
no one to see,
nothing to do.
No reason to
go to sleep
or
wake up
tomorrow.

Stop wanting.
Stop wanting.
Stop wanting.
Stop wanting.
Stop wanting.
Stop wanting.
Let things come to you
as they should.
Let things come to you
as they should.
Let things come to you
as they should.
No.
No.
No.
You need to realize
that you do not deserve
anything.
anything at all.
This world was not built for you
This world was not built for you
This world was not built for you
There is no one out there
built for you.
No one out there
that can understand you.
No one that would even want to.
So either find someone
more ****** up than you
Or save the tears
for hell.

I just want to
Taste your love kissing me
See your hands reach for me
Hear your soul sing for me
Feel your heart beat for me
I just need you to
Let me love you
Like I was always meant to
Or will you always be
Just a beautiful dream
For me to long for
But never reach?

Two innocent strangers
Trapped in a passion dance,
Entranced.

Why have I been put on this Earth?
To live just to lose?
I keep on asking myself,
if I was allowed to choose
my person, my future, my destiny,
would I truly be happy?

The answer is
it's the fighting, the yearning,
the pondering, the burning,
that gives a reason to living
My suffering is a symphony
That builds and rings until one day,
In a clashing crescendo,
Discordant sounds align
and resolution is reached.
A peaceful resolve
will give strife
its meaning

Trauma shapes her outward projection,
A sorrowful display of rejection
And repeated emotional assault.
She needs to know that it was never her fault.
That there's still love left to give.
That there's a life that hasn't been lived,
She can acknowledge the darkness within,
and have no desire to live in sin.
Underneath her skin is an innocent core
It turns out she was never a *****

I wish a meteor struck as I lay in your arms
and we are buried in ash, preserved in stone
only to be found
when we're thousands of years old
Once they discover our bones
they will weep and cry,
"this is a love that has died,
only to live 'til the end of time."

Look into my eyes.
Can you see it?
My loneliness
weeps
even when I cannot

You're stupid to think
I would put all my eggs in a basket
with a hole in it.

The days continue to pass by
And time loses reason to fly
It grows weary as it comes to realize
There is nothing to fly to,
No happy ending to pursue
For what would happen after?
For time, it will always be fly
                                                     and never 'flew'.

the yearning
is burning
my poor heart.
doomed to be
a hopeless
endeavor
from the start.

Would you rather experience true love and die young,
or would you rather live a good life and die old, never having loved?
I think, I would prefer the first
Because I cannot wait to be in love, and I cannot wait to die.
Yes! I cannot wait!
I cannot wait anymore!
With the threat of death close,
Life would mean so much more
If I had someone
to live for

Perhaps it was a fluke
And I never felt this way
after all
my emotions were fake
it must be true
for my sanity's sake

That's what I'll remind myself
every single time
I think of you

When I'm alone
I keep catching myself
Smiling
Imagining you
next to me

I smile as I feel
the sun shine on my skin
and we frolic amongst flowers
in the garden

you don't know how long
I have waited to feel
held and touched
by a love that was real

and as you pull me in close,
your hands melt into mine
I realize it's you
I have waited for
all this time

let's bask in this feeling
here, among the tulips
our two lips
can find meaning

As fall and winter meet
The trees give up their leaves
And as they stand, now bare and bleak
They don't feel empty

What is the point of life
if not this?
Perhaps there is a reason
to exist
As I breathe with the earth
and sway with the trees
Thoughts materialize before me
Appear, only to disappear
I realize everything comes
only to eventually pass
And to think I lived in fear
that my happiness wouldn't last
Now that I'm here with you
I don't need it to
I don't need it to.

When will the day break and the sun shine
into my heart, and I'll realize
I deserve to love
you, and miss you, and touch you, and kiss you
in a world where you felt what I felt
perhaps such a world will never exist
perhaps I simply don't deserve it
how could I even allow myself to be vulnerable
in a way that is beautiful and not repulsive
No.
I can't even look at you
because I know you will eventually see
all the flaws that I do
the scars on my heart
the sadness in my eyes
the wretchedness of my face
you cannot think I'm beautiful
there just isn't a conceivable way
I could be perceived
in the same context
as beauty

I want to cradle your soul
in my humble hands
and feel the weight of your heart
crushing mine
I want all you can give
and I will not settle for less

I changed my mind
I can love you
and I want to

A seedless fruit
Serves no greater purpose
But to serve itself
And yet, it itself does not exist
For what is a fruit
without its seed
and what is a fruit
without its tree
Existing simply to die
a fruitless death