twenty two years
such a great testament
for playing house
together, you've sowed love

i see it in your children
i see it in her chicken soup
i see it in his fancy eyes
hand in hand, playing house

my playmate is far off
in a land i don't know
we stopped playing somehow
but we still look at each other that way

i saw it in our banana pancakes
i saw it in your fixed gaze
hand in hand, we played house
but we're not playing house anymore

i see it all clearly now
the burnt kitchen
the crooked fence
only ashes in the fireplace

the scattered drawers
the empty living room
a wide open front door
abandoned, astray

we never had that house
but i've imagined it so many times
that house, our house
you burned it to the ground

maybe, one day
we can play house

i just want to smile like
I used to in the darkness
when you ran your hand
up my spine and buried
your fingers in my hair
and pulled my mouth
to meet your waiting
lips in a kiss that set
my soul on fire. i want
to feel your hands on
my skin as they leave
burning trails across
my lonesome heart,
like a tattoo or a secret,
something forbidden,
something wanted with
everything conceivable,
available, tangible. i
want to have your heart
in my hands, against
my chest so they can
beat as one. i never told
you how at home i felt
as i lay there while
we slept, your warmth
against my back, your
face buried against my
neck. your hand was
upon my stomach, but
i felt your fingers on
my heart, your lips on
my soul, the fire in your
eyes as we exposed
everything to each
other. i feel the sand
slipping between my
fingers; time does not
cease, even if one begs
and hopes, nor does it
reverse itself to the whim
of the broken hearted,
we can only pursue that
which is worthy of our
proclamation, and if we
can remain strong enough,
and endure the hardship
of loneliness, then perhaps
time itself will cease for one
blissful moment and life
will finally seem to be on
our sides.

You're so beautiful,
With your long constant colour changing hair,
You take your time with people,
To show you really care.
You speak with your soft voice,
You embrace with your loving arms,
You make everyone smile,
With your beauty and charms.

You're a rose,
Which my hand is clenched to,
It hurts me so much,
The blood pours true,
I won't let go though,
My soul wont let me,
My body is incomplete with out you,
My life is empty, can't you see?

I need your love,
Your kiss, your touch,
I need you,
I miss you so much,
I can't go a day,
Without you running through my mind,
I may be fighting a dead cause,
But they say Love is blind.

I am writing nothing.
Contentment soothes my soul but
stops my hand on the page.
Memories of you make me smile
And the strong emotions of
Yesterday are forgotten
As you and I together
Ease three months of torture
At your hand.
My mind is young
but I have scars still, from
Both them and you.
After fighting through mud and swamp
To reach where I am now
I have come out clean.
The dirt and muck must have
Gone somewhere.
We can't find them
And are okay with pretending
They aren't there.
I look to the future and, for
The first time I see nothing.
Not you, or me, or anyone else.
Swirling silver and white
With no definite borders or contours
Is all our futures hold.
The relief of a blank future
That we can fill in as we choose
Has soothed my soul
And stopped my hand on the page.
My hand returns to page and
I can again express the worry and
The guilt and
The doubt and
The fear.
My words are a sign that
There is something in need of diagnosis.
What is our diagnosis?

when the lace
from my shirt
fell away,
you helped me
tie it back
together,
even though i know
you'd love to love me
uncovered

i knew,
you cradled
the scars
the sunlight
gave me,
you kissed
between my ribs
where the swollen
skin lay tender,
you would have
stitched them up
if you knew how

i remember
the ultrasound
my fingers took
of your heart,
i could see it
beating
red and angry
in your chest,
trying to
unfasten the ties
that held it inside

my palms
were hot, but
they healed you
my scabbed knuckles
brushed over your eyes
and you settled
into me like a gasp,
slowly but alive

sweetheart,
i would
end the earth
in one swift movement
if i could watch
the asteroids fall
in your eyes

I died
I was cold, lifeless, lost somewhere in the darkness
My whole body ached
The ground began to get thinner
I began to hear mumbles
I was ripped from my tomb by an invisible force
I was reborn
Into the water he took me
And out he lifted an infant
No one's going to love you more than I do
He whispered
I spin around the room
Looking at all these images
They look so familiar
But they make my heart hurt
So I put them in a box
And I kissed them goodnight
Can I tell you a secret?
Come close
Sometimes I pull them out
And I lay them next to me on the bed
We stay up all night
Laughing
Kissing
Touching
Crying
But it's getting late and it's time for sleep now
As he collects his things and bids me farewell for now
I blow him a kiss
I send him my love from where I lay
Have you ever wanted to just get up and leave--you have no responsibilities, but I can't bring myself to pack up and leave
My new feet ache for something more
I know where I'm going
What I want
I am just waiting for my feet to touch the floor
I need to plunge into this darkness
Into the unknown
You wont look at me
I want so badly for you to look at me
I've forgotten to color of your eyes
I breathe in the smoke
I let it cleanse my spirit
I want nothing more than to feel your skin beneath my hands again
Before you disappear
I need something more
Something tangible
I day dream too much
"between every breath lasts a lifetime in a dream"
I hope you know that I love you
And I'm okay
I'm just learning to crawl
Forgive yourself
I'll take pictures of everything you miss