juno: Poems

87 · Dec 2019

Alcohol.

juno Dec 2019

Alcohol.

Chugging beers like it's no one's business.

I'm feeling great.

I'm down to the last pack.

87 · Mar 2020

overused and reused.

juno Mar 2020

overused and reused.

overused, ive been overused

and reused.

to your personal benefit.

you run me dry of my happiness.

you had me to benefit your own well being.

and now im broken, too reused to be used again.

i need someone to fix me,

not so i can be overused again,

not so i can be reused again,

i need someone to fix me,

so i can

be me.

ex girlfriend of 3 months. you happy now? you ruined my life

86 · Feb 2024

I WISH I WISH I WISH

juno Feb 2024

I WISH I WISH I WISH

for you

to

at least
pretend

that you

love

me.

86 · Dec 2020

galaxy

juno Dec 2020

galaxy

your eyes are like stars,

they shine so bright in the dark,

you light up the world,

the colors,

the aura,

are so

dead.

86 · Jul 2019

Untitled

juno Jul 2019

Untitled

i just wrote 5-6 suicide notes to people and im not done yet

86 · Jul 2019

Sweden

juno Jul 2019

Sweden

I’ve arrived.
I miss you Lizzie <3
See you tomorrow.
It’s a bit late. 9pm already.
I feel a bit jet lagged.
Hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow Lizzie

85 · Jun 2019

Untitled

juno Jun 2019

Untitled

i’m a bit broken right now, not gonna lie.
i can’t sleep and- 6/24/2019 12:19am

i must’ve given up. thrown the phone across the room.

85 · Sep 2019

"smile at him in your math class"

juno Sep 2019

"smile at him in your math class"

"cause i'm just a silly girl in a stupid dumb old world
i'm just a silly girl in my stupid dumb old world
and he was perfect
he was supposed to be
i made him perfect
cause I wanted him to be"
-
SILLY GIRL, CHLOE MORIONDO

dont own anything in this poem, just snippets of the song silly girl by chloe moriondo.

85 · Feb 2024

.

juno Feb 2024

.

every day is a struggle and i no longer want to wake up. it is truly over.

85 · Jul 2019

exercise.

juno Jul 2019

exercise.

"you're getting fat, you need to start exercising."

84 · Aug 2019

killing myself.

juno Aug 2019

killing myself.

they say i’m slowly killing myself :)

84 · Aug 2019

Untitled

juno Aug 2019

Untitled

let me **** myself already

i’m not worth it

83 · May 2024

Untitled

juno May 2024

Untitled

everything is a battle with you

you are supposed to love me and cares for me and talk to me and give me flowers and

i don’t know.

the bare minimum.

i am jealous of others because their partners show their love for them and talk to them and everything.

i feel like just a friend.

a waste of your time.

just someone to call your partner just because

83 · Nov 2020

disappear

juno Nov 2020

disappear

please,
**** me.

i cant take it anymore.

giving
up
is
okay
sometimes

83 · Jul 2019

internet friends.

juno Jul 2019

internet friends.

no they’re not bad.
honestly
without them
i probably would be dead by now.
so please

don’t take them away from me

82 · Jul 2019

lol.

juno Jul 2019

lol.

i mean,

what makes you think i’m right?

i’m a ******* after all.

so.

don’t listen to me.

82 · May 2019

a.n.r

juno May 2019

a.n.r

why can't they leave you alone?
they have other friends so why do they have to take you from me?

i.. i love you.. but, they.. take you away..

"oh hey ----!"

i'm right here..

"sorry -----'s sitting with me"

we did this together though...

"----- and ---- want to sit with me"

what about me..?

"we're low key married because of ---- and -----. like hamilton, y'know?"

c'mon... we started that joke together 2 years ago.. before you met her..

"so me and ---- were texting last night til 3am! it was so funny!"

you.. you never... text me...

"so 'papa france' -~~~~~~~_"

you.. don't call.. me... my .. nickname you gave me.. anymore..

"so babe~!"

she's the only one who can call me that...------

"hey 3v4"

what happened to my nicknames you used to call me...?

sorry i took out the names, the random symbols are convo, and 3v4 is just eva

82 · Nov 2020

not a good day

juno Nov 2020

not a good day

maybe today
isnt a good day
to be alive

i want out

this
world
is
too
much.

81 · Aug 2019

Untitled

juno Aug 2019

Untitled

i can’t breathe.
i’m crying
my hand hurts from punching the door

and it’s all my fault.

ITS NOT MY ******* FAULT THAT HES A *****

HE THINKS ITS OKAY TO HIT THE DOOR AFTER I SAID THAT IM GETTING READY.

I HAVE A LIFE, YKNOW?

I GET READY IN THE MORNING BECAUSE IM NOT LIKE YOU.

I DONT SIT IN FRONT OF THE ******* TV ALL DAY TO PLAY GAMES

I AM A FUNCTIONING HUMAN BEING WITH RIGHTS AND-

and i want to die because of you people.

81 · Nov 2019

9:45pm

juno Nov 2019

9:45pm

Drinking again.

Getting hella wasted in my hotel room by myself.

80 · Aug 2019

6:56am, Sydney Australia

juno Aug 2019

6:56am, Sydney Australia

that's it-

im going to france soon.

im not dealing with their ******* anymore

80 · Dec 2019

SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH

juno Dec 2019

SHUT THE **** UP *****

I HATE HEARING YOUR VOICE WHEN I LISTEN TO MY MUSIC

JUST SHUP UP

SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP

I HATE IT

I GET IT

YOU LIKE TO SING

BUT ******* SHUT THE **** UP FOR ONCE

I HATE HEARING YOUR VOICE WHENEVER I LISTEN TO MY MUSIC

ITS SUPPOSED TO BE CALMING

BUT YOU

YOURE MAKING IT SO ******* STRESSFUL NOW

im sorry/

anr

79 · Jun 2019

jokes

juno Jun 2019

jokes

we had just watched a bullet pass though and **** a soldier.
my friend is saying “i can’t do this”
while laughing because she can’t handle it.
we joke around but it’s nothing.

it’s nothing

79 · Jun 2019

Untitled

juno Jun 2019

Untitled

i make everything for them just to get nothing

79 · Jun 2019

"i love you... but i hate the distance"

juno Jun 2019

"i love you... but i hate the distance"

I love you, right?
heart, i love them, right..?
you would let me love, right??
please.
tell me what love feels like.
show me what love feels like.
i love him, right?
i love her, right?

it just doesnt feel right.

it just doesnt feel like love.

79 · Dec 2020

jealousy turns into manipulation

juno Dec 2020

jealousy turns into manipulation

why is she messaging you

why is he messaging you

i want to trust you,

i trust you.

maybe i'm not the one.

that's alright.

i guess.

trust
and
communication

79 · Jun 2019

modern shakespeare

juno Jun 2019

modern shakespeare

Thou shall not of thee thy.

by elias

78 · Jun 2020

millie.

juno Jun 2020

millie.

i love you.

you make me feel so many things that i thought i lost

only today, did i realise how much i ******* love you.

i felt it.

i knew it was there,

i just didn't know i loved you so much.

i didn't know that id end up like this

****.

you're so far away,

i cant touch you.

i cant see you.

i cant kiss you

i cant hug you.

but at least i can talk to you

im so grateful for you

what can i say? your local ******* fell in love again. i should stop, sometimes i realise that i don't really even love the person.

just like her,

im set on her

#millie #love #relationship

78 · Aug 2019

therapy.

juno Aug 2019

therapy.

i mean,

i cant hear her name, right?

why the hell does it trigger a panic attack then??

anything that associated with her,

even the smallest thing,

triggers a panic attack.

so,

im sorry.

i killed the mood.

you just reminded me of her,

and triggered a panic attack.

78 · May 2024

Untitled

juno May 2024

Untitled

my heart aches because inside i know i don’t love you the same because i am treated poorly

78 · Mar 2024

Untitled

juno Mar 2024

Untitled

i am unable to be loved
for i am damaged goods
too far gone to repair

78 · Feb 2024

Untitled

juno Feb 2024

Untitled

my future is you

77 · Jul 2019

left brain-right brain

juno Jul 2019

left brain-right brain

77 · Aug 2019

sydney australia

juno Aug 2019

sydney australia

I’m boarding the flight to home.

See you in 18 hours and 45 minutes

77 · Jul 2019

crying.

juno Jul 2019

crying.

its okay to cry.

but sometimes i cant,
sometimes you put me under so much pressure

and i skip the crying.
i skip to the panic attacks.

sometimes i skip the panic attacks.

i skip to the mental breakdowns.

and then i pass out.

76 · Dec 2019

Lost.

juno Dec 2019

Lost.

I have no idea where the **** I am.

I've been walking around for hours and mom hasn't found me yet.

No one has.

76 · Jul 2019

ciao adios, im done

juno Jul 2019

ciao adios, im done

haha

haha

haha

haha

liar.

you don't.

stop lying.

bye-bye.

im done.

76 · Jul 2019

8:15am, Moscow Russia

juno Jul 2019

8:15am, Moscow Russia

I've landed.
A few minutes ago, actually.
My other friend, Matt is here.

We're taking another trip together.

Hopefully, we can go to Australia soon!

75 · Aug 2019

oh

juno Aug 2019

oh

being forced to eat ****

75 · Jul 2019

uninterested.

juno Jul 2019

uninterested.

im not interested.
sorry man.

75 · May 2019

feelings 2

juno May 2019

feelings 2

i just cried for 15 minutes
i don’t feel anything but pain
it hurts so much
i just wanna ******* end it
i just wanna die

it’s been 30 minutes now
over the past 30 minutes
i’ve been thinking of ways to **** my self without making a noise

75 · Dec 2019

Sometimes..

juno Dec 2019

Sometimes..

I think about how you're doing.

I think about you in general,

I think about the possibilities.

Could I hang onto you like a koala because you're so **** tall?

What if I hugged you? Would my head reach your neck?

What if I slipped under your hoodie and hugged you?

Could I sit on your shoulders like a toddler?

I wanna hold your hand, could I hold your hand?

to: michael derose

75 · May 2019

scars

juno May 2019

scars

my scars run
from my wrist
to my forearm.
you might ask yourself,
"what has made her done this
to h e r s e l f ?"
simple.
i
couldn't
take
it
anymore

no one stopped me when
i wanted to end it
no one stopped me when
that knife marked my skin
no one stopped me when
i cried and cried.

no

one

stopped

me

from

breaking.

now i am very broken
now i want to tell people my story
on how i snapped
i left the online world
all my online friends
had believed i had
killed myself.
i came back, and
they were worried
"are you okay?"
"what happened?"
"where were you?"

i
dont
know

4
people
that
i
personally
know

that i
have been
constantly breaking
and they are trying
to get me help.

now i am waiting for a therapist.
i am writing down my dates.

i have been cut free for 1 week.
i have cut 3 times since i was told to get a therapist
by the people who care.

february 23, 2019

april 24, 2019

may 13, 2019.

75 · Dec 2019

YOU BROKE UP WITH ME SO STOP FEELING GUILTY

juno Dec 2019

YOU BROKE UP WITH ME SO STOP FEELING GUILTY

THE ***** MY FAULT

I WASNT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU

I ******* LOVE YOU

SO MUCH

AND YOU JUST ENDED IT TODAY

DID THE KISS MEAN ANYTHING

DID THE LATE NIGHT FACETIME CALLS MEAN ANYTHING

DID THE HUGS MEAN ANYTHING

DID THE I LOVE YOUS MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU??!

I GUESS NOT.

I GUESS ******* NOT.

THAT'S FINE

BUT IM OVER YOU NOW.

I STILL LOVE YOU

BUT IM OVER IT.

IM SALTY NOW.

I JUST WANTED TO KEEP YOU UNTIL VALENTINES DAY

WE HAVENT EVEN GOTTEN ON A ******* DATE YET

3 DAYS BEFORE OUR 3 MONTHS

OUR DAYS.

*******-

i love you.

im so sorry

sh

74 · Jul 2019

matteo

juno Jul 2019

matteo

broski leave me alone

74 · May 2019

Life is a lie

juno May 2019

Life is a lie

Life is a lie,
we will all die.
Society is a fiction,
we will all die.
Ambition is a curse,
we will all die.
Depression is a *****,
it should suffer.

by elias

73 · Jul 2019

what if i jumped out the window right now?

juno Jul 2019

what if i jumped out the window right now?

73 · Aug 2019

-

juno Aug 2019

-

why cant i ever be there for them
why am i never there to stop them
she started cutting and i couldnt.. stop her..
my other friend started too
"i just wanted to fit in"
i had a long panic attack on my birthday
fake smiles
i just have to fake it n theyll believe me
"oh im fine"
"im just a bit tired"
"im fine"
it hurts
it hurts so much to know that theyre doing this to themselves
i ******* love them
i love them so much
but i can never... ever... save them..
i couldnt even stop them if i tried
im so stupid..
im such an idiot...
i cant do anything right..
i can never do anything right..
theyd all be happy if i were just.. gone
none of this would happen
none of it
its all because of me..
my fault..
everythings my fault..
i cant cut myself im 4 days clean already..!
my moms coming to visit...
school starts monday
my grandfather might have cancer again...
and- i cant do anything..
i cant help..
i cant take care of them
i cant do ****
im worthless.
why love me anyway?

73 · Nov 2020

void

juno Nov 2020

void

sometimes when i write
it feels like im screaming

screaming into a void.

where no one can help me,

maybe ill suffer on my own

is this
how its
supposed to
be?

why
am
i
alone?

73 · Jul 2019

found you.

juno Jul 2019

found you.

i found you.

after searching for what felt like forever.

found you.

haha.

hate me now

i dare you.