Valy: Favorites

Dec 2013 Valy

Emily

This Christmas
I reflect on the year
God gave me
This year was met with struggle
More than with ease
I sinned
I lied
Sometimes I felt so alone
But I'm reminded today
How I'm never truly alone
God is with me
And he's blessed me
With wonderful friends
And a supportive family
Sometimes along the way
We forget what we have
Christmas reminds us
Of how we're never alone
We were given a gift
Of eternal life
And happiness
That's the gift
That Christmas is about
Merry Christmas
And don't forget
That you're never alone

Dec 2013 Valy

unsatisfied - a horror show

Dec 2013 Valy

Sub Rosa

unsatisfied - a horror show

It's back and forth,
not too fast nor slow,
be the wind, be the calm,
be the strong, be the kind
starve, trim, nip, tuck
a perfect vessel
we pick you apart,
no matter.
and then I'm skinny and sad
and sliced up and over
and the sun rises without me each day
and then

I am quiet.

Dec 2013 Valy

Meaningless Rant Of Lonely

Dec 2013 Valy

Ellyn k Thaiden

Meaningless Rant Of Lonely

I deactivated my Facebook
Deactivated is such a strange word
More like I left because I was tired of seeing
Every one talking to one another

Every one discussing weekend plans
Of past, present, and soon to come
Of their fun family trips
And I'm sitting here

Lonely and uninvited
Crying my eyes out
Wishing for a friend
Hoping to be liked

Jealous? Definitely.
My two best friends don't talk
To me, but they talk to their
Facebook walls and other people

They hang out with others
Others but me
I'm not saying they can't have
Their own set of friends

I just feel cheated because
Whenever they need me I try to
Always show up and
Pat their backs and wipe tears

But in a time where I need
My friends the most
They've vanished for what seems like forever
Abandoned me

I just don't want to be alone
Can't be alone
When I am suicide pops up
And the cutting starts again

So please friends don't
Leave me alone

Dec 2013 Valy

Happy X-mas (War is Over)

Dec 2013 Valy

featherfingers

Happy X-mas (War is Over)

So this is Christmas
and what have you done?

John purrs the question
through tiny
crackling speakers
begging responsibility
from the irresponsible at best,
begging for peace
and a season of rest.

I lost a war, John;

I tripped on hope and arrogance
and earned forty six new badges
of valor;
I fell from the rafters of a fantasy bridge
to the cold reality beneath
and I broke bones--
ribs and femurs,
radii and hum'rouses.

I have met Marc Antonys and Brutuses,
Pagliachis and Heathcliffs,
and met them in myself.
I have sobbed into futons
ripe with nachos and socks
and I curled in another's arms
wishing they were yours.

I have loved and lost
and saw God in a graveyard;
come down from dopamine dreams
to black widows in my sheets.
I have tried and failed and given up,
found the one mistake
I'll always make
and the one perfume I'll always hate.

I lost a war
I never had the guts to fight.
So this is Christmas, John,
and I'm still a mess.

Dec 2013 Valy

Unfair

Dec 2013 Valy

Dánï

Unfair

It's crazy how things happen.. You meet someone and all is great.. They make you laugh, blush, smile, daydream, plan ahead. You can trust them so easily even though that's so hard to do. You both can have deep meaningful conversations and it isn't weird because you make each other feel comfortable. You feel yourself developing feelings- even the tiniest bit. At first you don't know what to do.. You relate to each other on a whole other level so you just go with the flow, you look forward to them being a part of your day, someway somehow. Then you realize you look forward to them too much.. You put too much faith on them, expect too much and so the littlest of things disappoint you. That's when you're sure you know how it'll end. That's when you overthink and ruin things. That's when you let another one get away.. unfairly.

-d.***

Dec 2013 Valy

Love Me

Dec 2013 Valy

Jas

Love Me

You. You were, are & will be my "first" to alot of things. I love you & you love me more. But I loved you in pieces and you insisted in loving me whole. You frightened me. The idea of you insisting in fixing me made me want to crawl away into the narrowest corner to never be heard from. You taped my wounds but knew you'd leave cracks. It wasn't enough. You glued my parts but nothing holds on forever. Once you began to sew, I pushed away. That meant safety. Assurance. That meant being fixed & I did not want that in fear the scar would grow cover & soon fade & I would be forced to forget about my struggles and pain. I did not want to feel safe. I did not want assurance of your love. I wanted to live on the edge & always know you "chose" to love me all over again, every single morning. I wanted you to love me & all my broken parts but maybe just one at a time.

Dec 2013 Valy

Pain

Dec 2013 Valy

Trevor McWhinney

Pain

Have you ever been in so much pain that you can't stop fighting because the second you give in to the pain the whole world closes around you and it's terrifying so no matter what you do you keep fighting you have to keep pushing through always and it feels like that's all you can do it feels like you have to or you'll just parish away into nothing you feel like your alone in a crowed place because you know that you aren't the only one going through it but it certainly feels like you are and so you fight everything just to stay sane and keep it together but it feels like we're fighting a loosing battle so you fight even harder and its exhausting and it's a struggle and we live in this nonstop battle because that's the only way we've ever known and living without just isn't the same the pain becomes part of you a welcomed enemy if you will because at least pain is something real

— The End —