my repeated words
and i am sorrys
may bother you

but know that
every apology
comes with a
silent i love you

so i am
sorry for
showing
the demons
i hid

i am sorry
for the
flowers
i let rot

I am sorry
for not telling
you i love you
when you needed it

and I am sorry
for not holding
your hand
when you were
in the dark

I am sorry
for watching
the stars glow
instead of
watching you
dim your lights

but mostly,
i am sorry
for making
you believe
that my
love had
it's dues

you are the
ocean horizon:
infinitely vast
and infinitely
far

while i am
the sun
who fakes
proximity

my throat
is completely
parched but
i can't stop
smoking your
every word

and i'm
trying to stay
sober but
i keep
getting
intoxicated
with your
kisses

you are
every form of
substance abuse

and in this
state of
insobriety
all i see is
a conundrum of
hallucinations,
hazy forms
of your
perfect face

i have been
warned of
your side
effects yet
i can't get
over this
addiction
made up of
glassy eyes
pink cheeks
bruised skin
and the
perfected smirk

let me
get wasted
on the sight
of your
chapped lips

inject me
with sinful
lust and
pure love

because i
beg for you
to let me
overdose on
you

to feel you
piercing bones
and killing cells

i want my
thin veins
burning
and my
little lungs
gasping and
choking on
the residues
of your
smoke  

i am so
drunk on
you
that i feel
the hangover
hitting already

make this
moment last
a little longer
please

don't let
the morning
come and
take away
the joys of
being wasted
and replace
it with the
pounding
realization of
your absence

a trail of
kisses starting
north on
your eyelids
down your
sullen face

with empty
breaths that
trace my
collarbones
you beg me
to travel
south with
rushed hands
and quick lips

yet i don't
want to rush,
my love

let me
trace my
hands down
the source
of your quivers

let me ****
in the warm
chopped air
you release

allow me
every pleasure
to cherish
the sweetness
of your
pink lips

unleash your
asteroid words
your infinite
galaxies of
nail scratches

in this moment
let me feel
the planets
within you
implode

let me be
the reason,
the epicentre of
your uncontrollable
tremors

release your
stars on me

make a
constellation
in your mind
of the times
i shook
your universe

I N H A L E:
she was life
and i felt her
everywhere

from the thump
of my heart
to the howl
of the haunting
wind and the
whispers of the
mother ocean

breathe in
her love
fill my
empty lungs

let her soul
course through
my thin veins
and let her
name become
my heart beat

E X H A L E:
and when i
shut my eyes
you were gone

filled to the brim
now ****** into
a gaping void

you single-handedly
painted my
nightmares with
the clawing presence
of your growing
absence

you took
my little lungs
the very ones
you breathe
life into

and the
promises you
engraved into
my ribs tangled
with the wind
when you
turned my bones
into ashes

i told my
wind pipes to
try harder to
inhale and breathe
but not even
my will can
bring air back
into them

and the heart
that once pulsated
your name like
a mantra
now cries
for your mercy
and your return

you were life
but you were
also the
death of me