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And then I cried

Raised voices from the living room
The sound of glass breaking

I hid my face in the blankets
The tears soaked the pale green fabric
Into a grey-green expanse of misery

Afterall...
I couldn't let them catch me crying now, could I?
39 · Aug 2020
Ephemeral
(.)
sigh
Brittle kisses
A faint, soft touch
My senses crumble into fine dust
And nothing but the whiff of a past affection remains
A transparent give and take, a predictable farewell
Your songs, your words, merge together
And I see that I no longer remember
Those proud fantasies
Of childhood
sigh
(.)
38 · Jul 2020
Shackles of Fire
Lately, my dear
The winds have been
Surprisingly strong
And I swear that I
Would have been
Blown away
Had it not
Been for
The
I
M
M
O
R
T
A
L
Shackles of fire
Which prevent my
Escape
38 · Aug 2020
Mistletoe heart
I've kept my heart in a jar
Locked my tears in the sky
Don't need to cry or hurt anymore
But I feel so empty, and I wonder why

Mistletoe shade is scarce
Mistletoe season is yet to come
And like them I'm ******* out the life out of my past
Curving endlessly into the tracks of my last run
38 · Jul 2020
Sinner
A pool of useless tears
Blood and sweat dirtying the ground
Useless words that hold no meanings
Useless actions that hold no truth, no determination

This foolish one is such a waste of space
And this foolish one is well aware of that herself

But, what to do?
She still loves herself
She still hopes for a better day
And so this fool will live on and on and on
Until she is exhausted of life, devoid of time
38 · Aug 2020
Stampede
I was trampled on
Heavy boots pinned my face to the ground
My once hooked nose became a broken mess

But then again I heard those words
"You...must...stay... strong"
"You...must...not...cry"

I'm sorry but I'm afraid
I've let you all down
Because
I cried. I cried until my eyes were swollen
Only then, and only then
Did I stand up again

I lost my strength
But I'm slowly regaining my courage
38 · Aug 2020
Tyrant
Yep, she spoke for herself and hurt her enemies

But it ***** to be killed all the same
38 · Jul 2020
An unfinished poem
An old muse
Now gone away forever
Stray thoughts
Which now gather dust

The silhouette of an unfinished dream
With all the makings
Of a story
A masterpiece

I look at half done paintings
I read poems abandoned midway
And wonder about the story
We can never be the end of
When the perfume you smell is familiar
But not the face.
37 · Aug 2020
Claustrophobic
No room to breathe

In a room-fool of people
37 · Aug 2020
Waver
Brusque strokes on calm white linen

A wave of serenity broken little by little

Into the night of the dawn-like smiles
36 · Jul 2020
One way love
I wander everywhere
But I haven't lost my path
One road from the beginning
Starting from the door to the heart
I shall go wherever, wherever it takes me to
And wherever the end lies, there I hope to see you.
36 · Jul 2020
Sick
A stone in my throat

I gasp for breath as I drown gradually

Into a quagmire of useless rules

That no-one cares for, but is afraid to break

We know now why the caged bird sings

But that's all it seems

We know everything, but understand nothing

And unfortunately that seems to suffice
36 · Jul 2020
Just a notice:not a poem
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36 · Aug 2020
The moon tonight#2
A flattened piece of metal
Carved into an unruly circle

Freshly dipped in pale golden paint
Dropped into a glass of blue cocktail

.The paint slowly spreads into curves of the night.
.....................
36 · Jul 2020
As life goes
Making up life as it goes
You gotta think of tomorrow
Not a child anymore

The camera pans once
I sigh at my desk
The room swirls into ribbons of ash

We rush out onto the sidewalk
Pushing a wheelchair
I don't sit on
35 · Jul 2020
Our storms
I had thought
I was a person like no other
Felt that the storm in my veins
Roared only through this body I own.

But then I stepped out
Out of my room and into the world
And I met so many, and I saw so many
Who thought the same, who felt the same

And I had thought this would cause me pain
But surprisingly I
I felt happier than when
I had cooled my storm in silence
35 · Aug 2020
Lofty
Such difficult morals you have
There are no loopholes
No room to breathe
Do you enjoy this?
This slow torture
Suffocating into those strange rules you make?

Maybe I AM
Just a rebellious, gusty adolescent
But
I hate crying myself to sleep every night
I hate hiding my face every morning when you leave for work
Just so you don't have to see
My ugly swollen eyes
So that you have an "ideal" morning

I WILL say what's on my mind
Whatever you make out of it
This strange masquerade ball that we attend everyday
Seems to be hosted especially for the both of us
Only for the both of us

So...
What's the point in hiding your face?
35 · Aug 2020
dreamt
Stars in her eyes

Feet in the gutter
35 · Jun 2020
Dusk
As the heavy winds
With invisible hands caress the coconut trees
And the sky is painted orange
I walk to the little house.

And there I see
A reflection of you and me
I see the crown of dusk
Fading into evening grip of vice.
35 · Aug 2020
Lies
A flashy facade
Words drive me to the steep edge
I breath a lie of relief
35 · Jun 2020
Children of heaven
Matted hair
Sticking to their cheeks
Closed eyes
Looking at
The darkness within

A broken smile
So warm on my senses
Gunshots heard
From the unknown distance

The tears have long dried
Now
They only smile.
35 · Aug 2020
Teardrop
Rimmed with silver on the edges

Deceiving lies and unfulfilled desires

The shape of a teardrop
35 · Jul 2020
Harmful Digressions
Senses numbed
Dumbing down the concerns of the hours
By bringing irrelevant history to the forefront
34 · Jun 2020
Back 'ome
There ma
There goes my mind
I left it waiting
For my future child

Now I'll take a sip
Of present's wine
And take a nap
Until the end of my time

Yes ma
I know ma
I didn't make it
I didn't make it
34 · Jul 2020
❇️The earth's edges
Maybe the world is round

But it has sharp edges

That have wounded me

More than once
34 · Aug 2020
❄️Soft❄️
Baby blue patches of the winter sky

Adorned by small furry jewels

Falling down

All falls down
33 · Jun 2020
While she lay in bed
With her head on the pillow
She could still see
A small patch of silver woven in twilight
And shadowy pale forms
Dancing in the empty room
Whenever
She turned her head
33 · Jul 2020
Fools that we seem to be
People are dying everywhere
And yet we go to war
**** even though we cannot save
Hurt even though we cannot heal
We humans only have ourselves
And yet we fail to show a shred of kindness
When it is most needed
Rule of nature? Oh yes
Inevitable? Oh yes
Foolish?

That is for you to decide.
33 · Jul 2020
Blind
White carnations lie
For while you still see the world
My senses are dead.
33 · Jul 2020
Gradual Nonsense
White noise
White lies
A thin white cat
Rubbing against my thighs

Grey skys
Grey storms
The grey lane between
All that is right and wrong

Black hearts
Black eyes
A black crow
Feasts on rotting mice
33 · Aug 2020
Awkward
There's someone who has to end the conversation
Someone who has to start
But who decided this order?
I will never know.
But it is confusing all the same.
32 · Jul 2020
The opposite effect
Spread hope like hatred
And truth like lies
32 · Jul 2020
Pearl
The pearl that I dug out
From the heart of the ocean
Loved not me, but the dead oyster
32 · Jul 2020
Midnight sun
Silence, silence everywhere
The plates and forks stacked in the kitchen
Start Falling

Breaking into pieces with edges
Which can cut open my skin

The monotony of the night is pierced
By stifled shrieks

Nobody, there's nobody outside
The patrol of the spirits
Is Starting

The hours are going backward
In time.
We shall soon see the sun rise into afternoon
And dissipate into dawn.
32 · Jul 2020
on the tip of my tongue
I balance a heavy stone
Well polished, evenly cut into a knife
On the tip of my tongue

The blood seeping from the thin cut
Must remain hidden
Under the thin edge of this weapon!
31 · Jun 2020
A case of shoulder ache
The cage of warmth
In front of my drowsy eyes
            I smell the stale stench of days locked in disguise

The common eyes
Inside sockets of a tired brain
            I stifle my nausea under a pillow of ****** pain

How they pain
These weak limbs
How they cry
For an immediate outlet
                   Relief! Where art thou, brother?
                                           Relief?
31 · Jul 2020
Parched
A dry throat
Yellow eyes switch to ****** red
Fingers curling in agony
Floating in a pool of regret
31 · Jun 2020
As of yet
As of yet no one has seen it
As of yet it is unknown
Though if this way it remains, for time immemorial
I shall have it's seeds, in the graveyard sown.
31 · Jul 2020
Easy to forget
I was very young
When Mrs.White ook away the ornate plates off our walls
She'll keep them safe for us..mother had said

Twelve years later
I stare at my memories in an unknown room
I see them eat out of the caskets of my ancestors
I had wanted to retrieve those plates
But now
I'll leave them all behind

Of all the things I need to forget
They will, by far, be the easiest
31 · Aug 2020
Namesake
The great grandmother, who closed her eyes before I opened mine
Left her cold imprint, forever on my rounded forehead
Not with her own senses, no she didn't
It was the lips of others, related and unrelated
Who decided
To let her faint memory
Reside
In me
But
Does it really?

What is my name to her, a dead woman?

Who in her life, had barely been called by her own?

Who would never have known, fifty years after her death, a girl with her blood running in her veins, would be given the same name?

Had she known then, would she have liked it?

To have someone you do not know, have you as her "namesake"?
31 · Jul 2020
The sleeping child
Her head on one lap
And feet sprawled across another
Her midriff was levitating in darkness
31 · Jul 2020
Laughter
Was that even remotely funny?
31 · Aug 2020
Sawdust tears
They gather on my dress
Glistening like magical crystals

Which slowly vanish
With a single touch
More
This is not enough
Give us more than lies
Sugarcoated with prejudice

"The rally rhymes ring true
Clack-a-doodle-do"

We have never been satisfied
We want more
We have wanted more
All the time

Young voices have whizzed past your years
You have not listened
Flashes of red have covered your shoes
You have closed your eyes
Words if worry have trembled in your throat
You have decided to keep quiet

Oh great monkey man!
Oh great monkey men and women!
Look at us!
We are you, crawling in the dirt
Look at us and we shall
Take care of everything.
31 · Jul 2020
Her limits
Knew how to love
Until her heart grew tired

Knew how to dance
Until here feet became sore

Knew how to sing the night into dawn
Until she lost her voice
And then she faded away
30 · Jul 2020
Early morning blues
Distraught
My senses seem to be everywhere

The early morning rain hasn't stopped
But the sun's golden arrows
Pierce through the wet curtain of raindrops
The leaves are gilded with golden dust
Washed away by the lazy rain
Replenished by sunlight

Someone calls me to the dining hall
The crunch of gravel
Rings in my morning ear
The slapping pelts of water
Against the fabric of the umbrella
Such a wholesome breakfast
Of nature's loveliness
All gone
Unregistered
In this confusion
Of a morning
It pains
Pains so terribly
I can't breathe
Mom's calling me...
But I don't think I can go

Please dear
This is important

Oh well
Tomorrow
I'll tell her for sure tomorrow
30 · Jul 2020
Against the orange sunset
Lying in the grass
Pushing against the orange sunset
I creep softly into a new day
The bed sighed.
        It had been awake for a while now.
Bathed in harsh electric light, I too,
        Could feel the weariness of my dead eyes.

But sleep refuses to alight!

Countless silent nights I have spent
Tired, withered, weary
But still
             Unable to rest.
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