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69 · Jul 2020
Sinner
A pool of useless tears
Blood and sweat dirtying the ground
Useless words that hold no meanings
Useless actions that hold no truth, no determination

This foolish one is such a waste of space
And this foolish one is well aware of that herself

But, what to do?
She still loves herself
She still hopes for a better day
And so this fool will live on and on and on
Until she is exhausted of life, devoid of time
68 · Jun 2020
Dusk
As the heavy winds
With invisible hands caress the coconut trees
And the sky is painted orange
I walk to the little house.

And there I see
A reflection of you and me
I see the crown of dusk
Fading into evening grip of vice.
68 · Aug 2020
Ephemeral
(.)
sigh
Brittle kisses
A faint, soft touch
My senses crumble into fine dust
And nothing but the whiff of a past affection remains
A transparent give and take, a predictable farewell
Your songs, your words, merge together
And I see that I no longer remember
Those proud fantasies
Of childhood
sigh
(.)
68 · Aug 2020
Done forgetting you
Please stay a little longer
Until the spring flowers bloom
I promise that by then
I'll be done forgetting you
68 · Aug 2020
Tyrant
Yep, she spoke for herself and hurt her enemies

But it ***** to be killed all the same
66 · Aug 2020
The moon tonight#2
A flattened piece of metal
Carved into an unruly circle

Freshly dipped in pale golden paint
Dropped into a glass of blue cocktail

.The paint slowly spreads into curves of the night.
.....................
When the perfume you smell is familiar
But not the face.
And then I cried

Raised voices from the living room
The sound of glass breaking

I hid my face in the blankets
The tears soaked the pale green fabric
Into a grey-green expanse of misery

Afterall...
I couldn't let them catch me crying now, could I?
65 · Aug 2020
Stampede
I was trampled on
Heavy boots pinned my face to the ground
My once hooked nose became a broken mess

But then again I heard those words
"You...must...stay... strong"
"You...must...not...cry"

I'm sorry but I'm afraid
I've let you all down
Because
I cried. I cried until my eyes were swollen
Only then, and only then
Did I stand up again

I lost my strength
But I'm slowly regaining my courage
64 · Jul 2020
As life goes
Making up life as it goes
You gotta think of tomorrow
Not a child anymore

The camera pans once
I sigh at my desk
The room swirls into ribbons of ash

We rush out onto the sidewalk
Pushing a wheelchair
I don't sit on
64 · Aug 2020
dreamt
Stars in her eyes

Feet in the gutter
64 · Aug 2020
Awkward
There's someone who has to end the conversation
Someone who has to start
But who decided this order?
I will never know.
But it is confusing all the same.
64 · Jul 2020
Easy to forget
I was very young
When Mrs.White ook away the ornate plates off our walls
She'll keep them safe for us..mother had said

Twelve years later
I stare at my memories in an unknown room
I see them eat out of the caskets of my ancestors
I had wanted to retrieve those plates
But now
I'll leave them all behind

Of all the things I need to forget
They will, by far, be the easiest
64 · Aug 2020
Teardrop
Rimmed with silver on the edges

Deceiving lies and unfulfilled desires

The shape of a teardrop
63 · Aug 2020
Mistletoe heart
I've kept my heart in a jar
Locked my tears in the sky
Don't need to cry or hurt anymore
But I feel so empty, and I wonder why

Mistletoe shade is scarce
Mistletoe season is yet to come
And like them I'm ******* out the life out of my past
Curving endlessly into the tracks of my last run
63 · Aug 2020
❄️Soft❄️
Baby blue patches of the winter sky

Adorned by small furry jewels

Falling down

All falls down
Mila had her life set
She knew it all
The exact amount of calories she required
The exact amount of sleep she needed
She even knew when to smile
Even knew when to help
And when to shrug off the matter and walk away
Knew why and how she did what she did
Knew how much love she needed to give
Gave up offers of promotions for those she believed were better
Let others take the rein, never flinched when they blamed her

But she was alone
No friends to keep her company
No family who considered her as their own
No lover to beckon her homewards
She lived in a house,not a home
For people hated her
As they failed to find her faults
And then hated her even more
Cause she was so kind to them all

All of this Mila knew
It was to her another challenge
That she was ready to overcome
But how can one improve perfection?
63 · Aug 2020
Lofty
Such difficult morals you have
There are no loopholes
No room to breathe
Do you enjoy this?
This slow torture
Suffocating into those strange rules you make?

Maybe I AM
Just a rebellious, gusty adolescent
But
I hate crying myself to sleep every night
I hate hiding my face every morning when you leave for work
Just so you don't have to see
My ugly swollen eyes
So that you have an "ideal" morning

I WILL say what's on my mind
Whatever you make out of it
This strange masquerade ball that we attend everyday
Seems to be hosted especially for the both of us
Only for the both of us

So...
What's the point in hiding your face?
63 · Jul 2020
A nocturnal tussle
The sound of skin against skin
A slippery silence
Interspersed by soft, sweaty thuds
Two bodies wrestle
In the dead night
63 · Jun 2020
Finding her
She was a perfect, beautiful mystery
And that was all of her that I had loved.

My name was called
In the very end
And I said so.

And Surprisingly
Everyone else
Agreed.
62 · Jul 2020
Our storms
I had thought
I was a person like no other
Felt that the storm in my veins
Roared only through this body I own.

But then I stepped out
Out of my room and into the world
And I met so many, and I saw so many
Who thought the same, who felt the same

And I had thought this would cause me pain
But surprisingly I
I felt happier than when
I had cooled my storm in silence
62 · Jul 2020
Sick
A stone in my throat

I gasp for breath as I drown gradually

Into a quagmire of useless rules

That no-one cares for, but is afraid to break

We know now why the caged bird sings

But that's all it seems

We know everything, but understand nothing

And unfortunately that seems to suffice
62 · Jul 2020
Lame
My chest feels stuffy

Maybe it's time my heart

Gave it's job to my brain.
It pains
Pains so terribly
I can't breathe
Mom's calling me...
But I don't think I can go

Please dear
This is important

Oh well
Tomorrow
I'll tell her for sure tomorrow
61 · Aug 2020
Sawdust tears
They gather on my dress
Glistening like magical crystals

Which slowly vanish
With a single touch
60 · Jul 2020
Bring an umbrella
The sun can beat down like a hammer
On the malnourished shoulders of the abandoned
To whom shade isn't an escape
But a hard won trophy
60 · Aug 2020
Lies
A flashy facade
Words drive me to the steep edge
I breath a lie of relief
60 · Aug 2020
Namesake
The great grandmother, who closed her eyes before I opened mine
Left her cold imprint, forever on my rounded forehead
Not with her own senses, no she didn't
It was the lips of others, related and unrelated
Who decided
To let her faint memory
Reside
In me
But
Does it really?

What is my name to her, a dead woman?

Who in her life, had barely been called by her own?

Who would never have known, fifty years after her death, a girl with her blood running in her veins, would be given the same name?

Had she known then, would she have liked it?

To have someone you do not know, have you as her "namesake"?
59 · Jul 2020
Anxious about nothing
My mouth is dry
And my heart thumps away
Like that of a young lover
I fear what I cannot see
We all fear what we cannot see

Precisely because
We cannot see it
And therefore know not
When it will arrive.
58 · Jul 2020
Disappointed
I woke up
Happy
Smiling
The wonder of last night's dream still lingering in my eyes
Thought
It will be a great day
But boy! Was I wrong!
Never knew that our love was nothing but an egotistical illusion
Never knew that the lack of validation
From people I thought I could care less about
Would matter so much.
New spring grass

Breaking from beneath a sheet of ice

It has been five decades since we looked back

At the only home we know for now

But times have changed for the worse

It is time we grasp the answers blowing in the wind

And read them out loud

For everyone to understand
56 · Jun 2020
As of yet
As of yet no one has seen it
As of yet it is unknown
Though if this way it remains, for time immemorial
I shall have it's seeds, in the graveyard sown.
56 · Jul 2020
Bruised
Bruises deep inside my ribcage

None on the surface

Thus no one sees

Until they turn me

Inside out.
56 · Jul 2020
She had gone mad
Word got around fast
But we had all forgotten what she had said

It was the way she said it that mattered to us
For that day it had seemed to us

That she had gone mad
Absolutely mad
55 · Jul 2020
Against the orange sunset
Lying in the grass
Pushing against the orange sunset
I creep softly into a new day
55 · Jul 2020
Harmful Digressions
Senses numbed
Dumbing down the concerns of the hours
By bringing irrelevant history to the forefront
54 · Jul 2020
❇️The earth's edges
Maybe the world is round

But it has sharp edges

That have wounded me

More than once
54 · Jun 2020
Children of heaven
Matted hair
Sticking to their cheeks
Closed eyes
Looking at
The darkness within

A broken smile
So warm on my senses
Gunshots heard
From the unknown distance

The tears have long dried
Now
They only smile.
53 · Jul 2020
Chance
Take one more chance at loving
And let your heart touch the sky
You'll see that you're welcome.
More
This is not enough
Give us more than lies
Sugarcoated with prejudice

"The rally rhymes ring true
Clack-a-doodle-do"

We have never been satisfied
We want more
We have wanted more
All the time

Young voices have whizzed past your years
You have not listened
Flashes of red have covered your shoes
You have closed your eyes
Words if worry have trembled in your throat
You have decided to keep quiet

Oh great monkey man!
Oh great monkey men and women!
Look at us!
We are you, crawling in the dirt
Look at us and we shall
Take care of everything.
53 · Jul 2020
Early morning blues
Distraught
My senses seem to be everywhere

The early morning rain hasn't stopped
But the sun's golden arrows
Pierce through the wet curtain of raindrops
The leaves are gilded with golden dust
Washed away by the lazy rain
Replenished by sunlight

Someone calls me to the dining hall
The crunch of gravel
Rings in my morning ear
The slapping pelts of water
Against the fabric of the umbrella
Such a wholesome breakfast
Of nature's loveliness
All gone
Unregistered
In this confusion
Of a morning
53 · Jun 2020
A case of shoulder ache
The cage of warmth
In front of my drowsy eyes
            I smell the stale stench of days locked in disguise

The common eyes
Inside sockets of a tired brain
            I stifle my nausea under a pillow of ****** pain

How they pain
These weak limbs
How they cry
For an immediate outlet
                   Relief! Where art thou, brother?
                                           Relief?
53 · Jun 2020
While she lay in bed
With her head on the pillow
She could still see
A small patch of silver woven in twilight
And shadowy pale forms
Dancing in the empty room
Whenever
She turned her head
51 · Jul 2020
Fools that we seem to be
People are dying everywhere
And yet we go to war
**** even though we cannot save
Hurt even though we cannot heal
We humans only have ourselves
And yet we fail to show a shred of kindness
When it is most needed
Rule of nature? Oh yes
Inevitable? Oh yes
Foolish?

That is for you to decide.
51 · Jul 2020
Crow-wings
I ran from my ghosts
Mid length, mid-parted hair
Flapping in the wind
Like the deformed wings
Of a newborn crow.

I ran to many houses
I knocked on many doors
But no one let me in
For I had no love, no home.

Then I hit a wall
And had to turn around
My hair grew into real wings
And I was able to fly up and out.
50 · Jul 2020
Shackles of Fire
Lately, my dear
The winds have been
Surprisingly strong
And I swear that I
Would have been
Blown away
Had it not
Been for
The
I
M
M
O
R
T
A
L
Shackles of fire
Which prevent my
Escape
50 · Jul 2020
Goddess of spring
Dancing with the flowers
Hands bending like the breeze
The music of life.
49 · Jul 2020
One way love
I wander everywhere
But I haven't lost my path
One road from the beginning
Starting from the door to the heart
I shall go wherever, wherever it takes me to
And wherever the end lies, there I hope to see you.
49 · Jul 2020
Beginner's haiku#4
You walked towards me
Dragging the shackles of love
Hoping to be freed.
49 · Jul 2020
The moon falls
The moon falls a thousand times

And the sun rises on the edge of a different song

Sitting in the armchair she pets her pet leopard

And thinks if she should wear red for dinner.
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