my heart a permanent residence for the thoughts you occupy
its as simple as words said with such deliberation I thought it must be love
and perhaps these are merely illusions
and you are never to be mine
ever the falcon looming over the canyon where I reside
now and then I shall look up to see you soaring  
eyes filled with equal parts sadness
and pride
for it is such luck to have found something so wonderfully painful
and real

if by chance I succumb to the rotting in my soul
perhaps think of me as a child
the only time I was not running away from myself  
I was enough and whole and days were never long enough
I was a cloud and the sun was my first love
bleeding yellow into my fuzzy outlines
excitement painted my world so often it was the only color I knew
memorized the beat of my own heart
took it upon myself to do right by me
but people came between me and myself
and things have never been the same

he doesn't say good morning at the crack of dawn
barely even manages to look me in the eye
and when I pass, he doesn't look up with bedazzled eyes
and although words fail him and days stretch where he is absent and I am a wreck
there are moments where I am convinced
that he is the moon
and I was always meant be his star
far enough not to be a nuisance
but close enough to admire all the ways he is
my last bit of hope
is strung around his neck
and i fear if the world ends tomorrow
he'd leave me on the deck

all the words that come to mind
all the letters and the notes
they're relics of something I've stored in the glove departments of my mind
they're metaphysical proof of you
a shining moment in a lifetime of gloom
I do not miss you anymore
I ache
it comes at random times
the way you'd say words would plague my day
I'd think of the faces you'd make, deep in thought
I hide my private smile
they do not deserve to see what's meant for you
words fail
every so often
to capture feelings
never mind people
I'm sure there are multitudes of you, that I did not meet
a coin after my heart
and I never have to wonder what love feels like
because of you