its always seemed daunting
the prospect of forever
a suspension of time
i hoped for so many forevers
but all i was offered was a forever naught
a forever wandering
a forever walking along a path where I was unable to look up
hoping I'd end up home somehow
will the sun end this cold journey?
will the path end with it ending my misery?
will the forever I've yearned for
ever come?
and will my forever last
for forever

who do you think of? when you're half between the living and the dead? when you can smell the heavens opening their gates? when everything we know suspends? does it ever end? do they ever feel loved? will this ever pay off? are these the wonderings of a mad man? one truth: i love him

my best friend has many tells
when he loves something he cries
when he's sad he laughs
when he's lonely he forgets to call


sometimes

the tides would pull him under
too focused on survival to see me
on shore
praying for his safe return
I love you
I yell
he sinks

meet yourself tonight
rediscover all the ways you are
perhaps extend all that love to your own
soul
theres beauty in opposites
your beauty lies where there is discomfort
face it

O sweet melodies
bring back the spirit that once belonged to me
is life merely the feeling of electric currents pulsing through a corpse-like host
or is it giving what you do not own?