yellow cars
bumble bees
and flag poles

longboards
a chain-linked fence
and tadpoles

you are
the nacelle on an airplane
that is, a separate engine that has been attached for support
to keep me going

yellow cars
bumble bees
and flag poles

longboards
a chain-linked fence
and tadpoles

navigating me out of the forest fire
saving me from my death
should I thank you or resent you
should I attempt or resign

yellow cars
bumble bees
and flagpoles

longboards
a chain-linked fence
and tadpoles

time with you is time well spent
although leaving you stings worse than a bee
you support me no matter what

we cruise along wherever things take us
locked together with the same mindset
yet we’re growing in different directions

I bid thee farewell
the halls filled with various voices
classrooms lacking ambition
teachers who put everything into their work
and those who don’t
students I will never see again
friends that won’t keep in touch
stairwells drowning in secrets
every vandalised desk
every broken bathroom door
it’s time to say goodbye
a new highway has opened up
I’m going to travel the world.

Afraid of the dark
   amazed by the light
Behind the face of a
   broken boy
Concealing his emotions
   carrying the weight of his guilt
Deepening your intellect with
   details of his inner thoughts
Extending the night into day
   effortlessly with a sinister grin
Foreshadowing the
   future without hope or
Gratification he cannot
   greet you with
Happiness for he is
   helplessly
In search of new insight
   in order to bring a more
Jubilant vibe to life and provide
   joy for others to possibly
Kindle the repressed joy within him
   knowing there is rebuttal
Looking him dead in the eye
   livid from betrayal he
Meets a new friend
   mastered in the art of revenge
Never looking back he
   nearly kills himself looking for an
Oasis
   oblivious to the realization that this
Pal is inside his head rather than
   presenting itself before him he is in a
Quandary trying to
   quantify his emotions
Rather than understanding what has been
   released inside of him
Soon enough he has an idea to
   saturate his body in
Toluene in hopes
   to escape the
Underworld that is about to engulf him
   ultimately he must
Vacate this so called sanctuary to find
   value within himself
Wading knee-deep in
   water trying to determine is he a
Xenophile or is he a
   xenophobe the boy
Yearns for an answer
   yell at him so he feels something
Zany he may be as his three digit
   zip code is six-six-six

afraid of the dark
in love with the sun
my demons bask beneath the moonlight
I cower in fear
the early mornings are my only hope
I need every ounce of sunshine I can get
don't absorb it; you might get sick
the fact that it's out there is comfort enough
bad thoughts trace the lines on my palms
in darkness they trace the lines in my mind
burning every bit of solace there was
leaving me to turn to their light

i don't watch home movies
hate them
reason being because
when i was young
i was looking for a movie
my mother
had recorded for me
and accidentally
put one in the vcr
that i'm not sure
i was supposed to see
i know the obvious response
"uh oh, ****"
sorry to disappoint
they were only marked with dates
  1991
on live television
montel williams asks my father
"how can you just throw
your child away like a piece of trash?"
   1994
i spend so much time
in the emergency room
that my parents stop
penciling in growth marks
on the frame
of my bedroom door
i always thought
it was because they believed
i would never grow out
of this sickness
sometimes i believe
the reason that they
never bought me a dream catcher
was because they never thought
i'd live long enough
to see them come true
   1996
i am eliminated
from a spelling bee
because i didn't know
the 'dad' is silent in 'family'
   2013
before i got into poetry
i used to do standup
none of my jokes were funny
one of the other comics
tells me my skits are dry
sometimes sad
he says "why don't you joke
about something like your family?"
so i say
"i never wore any sunblock
because i didn't want anything
to keep me from my father"
i say "what do you call christmas
without lights or heat?"
before he has a chance
to answer
i say "1997. better yet
why don't you
make like a dad and
leave"
   2014
every time we drive
past the hospital
my mother reminds me
how much it cost to save my life
like she'd rather
have her money back
she doesn't have to say
that sometimes she wishes
it was me who had died
instead of my brother
i can hear it in the way
she says "love you"
sometimes i imagine
that if i were to die
that she
would pick out a casket for a child
because she never loved
the person i became
yesterday i told my father
how close i'd been
to suicide lately
and he said
"that's my boy,
livin on the edge.."
and i can't remember
if i laughed
or cried

We were beautiful children
And we grew up so brave,
We were touched by death and heartbreaks but we stayed just the same.

We listen to jazz all night and drink red wine,
Find ourselves adventure to pass the time,
We don't talk much about the pain we've felt inside,
No more bumps in the road,
Just enjoying the ride.

Our love is too strong to carry weight of what's gone,
We find peace in the sun,
And the belief of being young.

Love of mine in the world,
We are one in the same,
You can laugh while you're crying and be childish when you lose games,
We are fine, we are okay,
We are in love,
And our children someday will be just like us.