The moment where I'm no longer angry with you is when I let myself go enough to enjoy you.

Suddenly you become important again. Refreshed, I see you as I once have. Kissing hands of a working man.

Looking back into your eyes as your hands hold onto my neck I realize that seeing you with another women would make me jealous.

In those moments I enjoy giving myself to you. Reminding you why you wake your mornings to a person like me.

Only in those moments I dont feel like hurting you with pain but only with pleasure.

Only in those moments is when I can enjoy you.

All my stuff
in         boxes
 I         guess
this is it

The heavens opened
wide
         and cried,
"We have abandoned you."

The ground burst
forth
         and cooed,
"We have a spot for you."

I've got this sinking
feeling in my chest
I hate to say I've got
to go
when we just
met

But I hope
you know
That if I
controlled the clocks
I'd set them back
so I could
spend the time
I wish I had
with you.

I don't relate to
any of this anymore.
Buildings rip the sky
blocking out the light
of stellar smiles.
If I look out I can only
see for a few feet
not miles and miles.
I've worn out the soles
of my shoes
walking the streets
that sandpaper my soul.
I don't connect to
any of it anymore.
The lights on all night
pretending to be extra-
terrestrial
or the stacks of ads
that blockade my mail
But there aren't
any letters for me anyway
cause I don't relate to this
anymore.

It would be a lot easier
if you

weren't beautiful

I won't tell you
when I arrive "in town"
I'll lurk among the streets
that hold your name
in the pocket of their sidewalks
I'll crawl among the bars
that snicker with gross amusement
while I drown in ***** irony
I'll kick out the color
of the fallen leaves
That I fell with last week
for you
at the foot of your fashion-forward boots
I'll hug on strangers
that have that same
curled smile
and sad one-note expression
that you do
and I'll dance until every pore
is rid of the memory of your touch
and I'll swig every stout
until my thoughts can't even grasp
the memory of your name.

I've been missing
authentic selflessness
devoted kindness
and the soft laughter
you let out
when I used to do things
like try to cheer you up

I've been missing
fiery conversations
deep and vibrant
they used to dance across my face
every time I had a stollen space
alone
with your voice

I've been missing
grace within strangers
the signs of simplicity in nature
The way you'd stuff me into your
envelope embrace
and those hearty compliments
that  I used to save up for calloused
malnourished days

I miss
you impressing my brother
with your dutifulness
and natural peace,
showing big bright flecks of acceptance
in your eyes

I miss
the lightness I would feel
the second I pulled into our parking lot
and saw your muddy shoes outside
our place

I miss
noticing the yellow parts of the day
brought by your soothing spontaneity

I miss
laying my wild heart down at night
and being able to close my eyes
without wasp anxiety
stinging the lining of my stomach

I miss sleep and
the way I used to be with you.
Pure     beautiful     lovely                and utterly unique