Your words,
they tell tale lies.
You think you're grand,
some kind of god
a high power of a sort
   well I've got news,
your words aren't worth my
two cents so go preach to one of
your little ******
and watch me,
watch me walk out your
door.
   You can entertain so well when
you clear your mind
but at the end of the day
you still cry your tale tale lies
  
nothin but a boy,
nothin but a boy.

No good for the getting
better, for you
most of all

You have been through
the worse that may
come and youre
finally
getting better..

I'll only put you back
to things getting
worse, and no one
not even myself would
like to be back there

of all places, not there.

So I'm saying goodbye,
I'm sorry and I hope you stay well
I'll love you forever
forever, until I die.

7 years,
and it times to go
California is no place for home

the weather is dry and
the leaves have no season

and oh dear all I want
is to find my reason here

but the American Dream
aint the thing for me
  so Ill pack my things
and Ill bring my lover,

from there we'll make our life
a show.

No good for the getting better, only feel like I'm going to put you back into getting worse because I am nowhere close to being fine.

You reek like cigarettes
and your lungs are dry,
   you have no words
     you just stare,
  with your bold brown eyes

You pick and pull and bite
   your nails until the
     tips go dull
I'd tell you to quit but baby Im no troll

Since we last slept,
   your beds become home
     we lie there and talk,
talk, talk, talk

        here is where you lie and stare,
with your brown bold eyes

My sweetheart,
the one I love so dearly
the one who keeps me on my
toes and my head on straight
tried to leave again only
this time I wasn't there to witness,
to hold him and listen
and it breaks me,
makes me mental because I knew
he wanted to go
but he knew if he jumped I would
now all I could do
is sit here
smoke a cigarette and
pick flowers
while he's lying in a
hospital bed getting some
knowledge from someone
with a degree and
wait.

He spoke to me in words
told me to promise
to cross pinkies
to tell all his loved ones
that he loves them so,
and hes sorry
sorry to have to let go so easy
with an uneased mind

he held me
and he told me he loved me
told me to keep going on and
missing him will be temporary

we sat on the train tracks
waiting
waiting for the better end to come
together we wanted to leave
him and i
so we went.

From what I've learned of love,

never hold your breath
you'll end up dead.

Nine years,
It's time to put time behind and
find myself to happiness
because the American Dream isn't all
a dream
I found myself wanting to die
in the middle of it
got caught up making wrong decisions
and giving love and limbs
to a pack of wolves
who tore me in two
ripped me to shreds and walked on
maybe somewhere between
now and then
Ill find the one thing I lost

my sense in dreamin.

Arkansas here I come,

leave my lover and friends behind.
I've got to find my mind
in one place or
another and California livin'
isn't doing its duty.

So I say goodbye for now,
and in a year I'll look less dead.

I've got a loss of words,

I feel nothing but everything
and I'm not sure what it is

but nothing is quite right
but then again, nothing is quite wrong

I think I've lost my mind in the
thoughts of..

How can I be so blind?
Who am I again -
whats your name?
look at the stars, they shine so bright.

Get out of my head
I want to get out of my own head
please lets not do this

You're a beautiful boy, I love you
I hate you
who are you?
hold me close keep them away

I can't do this I want to die.
I feel nothing,
I want to feel.

fill your lungs with cancer,

you're going to die anyways
why not die a little faster?

There is no difference between a lie

and a white lie

because in the end

it is still a lie,

and you still look like a fool for believing it.

They only ask

    how you are ,
to hear that you are doing

fine , but are you really

     fine?

I'm not so afraid to lose
you anymore
and I am not quite sure why
that may be
perhaps its from the constant
leaving of the people I love
most
or maybe I no longer love
you as i did before
and that makes me afraid
because I do not understand
how you could love someone
so unbearably
then not at all

You use to make me feel
full of butterflies and pure love
now you make me feel
dull and
empty
I could feel the distance even
when your arms are wrapped around
me tight at night

As I lie here thinking of all the reasons
why i may not love you any longer
I cannot seem to come across
one because sometimes you could
love someone so unbearably
and then not at all
being with you has made me
understand that is true

When you awake
you'll be left with an empty
side of the bed we once
made love in
and a note I left that says:
"My dear, understand this was best
for you and I. I cannot bare the feeling
of saying goodbye to your face
because this goodbye is not
good at all and so I had to leave.
I took something from you awhile ago
I've returned it to the place I found it  
now you can find someone new to
hold your heart , for mine will always
be yours.

My name is Brit,
and as the days go one
I wish that name didnt belong to
the person I am today

Young and trying to find new
experiences in an empty town
full of horrid beings we interact with.

In love with a boy
who see's me as not enough
who breaks me with simple words
who I'd rather be with, than being alone.

Finding better places inside the mind
with the power of a tab on the tongue
or a snort from the nose

But when everything starts to come down
as do I
and I wish I was gone

Always trying to find the guts
and once I did
and with a glass on the side
13 white pills filled my stomach

My names Brit,
and I don't know who I am
and I think I've lost my mind.

I am here, and that is all
just a body
just
here.

I met a boy
who told me sweet words
and built a butterfly garden in my stomach
He took away all the horrid thoughts i build in my mind
set them free, took me away to thoughts of love and lust

Showed me the way to happiness
and there is where he stands
with arms open, he let me in and as did I
and from a simple touch he showed me how to love

His fingers caressed my body
crawling over my skin,
a feeling I never felt but couldnt get enough

We were hidden int the sheets,
**** and comfortable with the scars on our skin
with the marks that lied on my body, the ones that come
in the process of growing.
He didn't mind I wasn't perfect
not like the others he tried so hard to find

We lied there together,
him and I,
in comfortable silence
and I knew, I just knew..

Sleep is for d
                       r
                         e
                           a
                            m
                               e
                                r
                               s.

When I look at you Id like to
think the frown is temporary and the
tears in your eyes are from a
flick of caught dust
Id like to believe you wear sweaters
even during summer
because you had an odd shaped
birthmark

   but what i know is, that frown has
been temporary one to many
days and the teary eyes from caught dust is actually from the
abuse of words and i know
you wear sweaters even in summer
because the texture on your
skin is from the kindness of a razor
blade

and as the blade digs deeper id only
like to believe flowers grow
upon the next mark
youve made

and i only hope one day,
flowers wont grow just
there but everywhere.

Afraid when I see you
a year from now it will not be
the same lover i loved
before he left.

Afraid the drugs
will become the monster
hidden in the closest
and youll have no way
out

Afriad the new life you
have made
is something youd like me
to stay out of

Afriad to know the boy
who left wiping my
tears is now a boy
who just watches my
tears fall

Afraid all that we had
is now a scrap of
old memory left in
the past.

2:43 p.m
Bob Dylan / Dont think twice Its alright

Thursday Mornings
I never expected to be so wonderful

Smell of hot coffee
Warm sun peeking through
lying on my skin,
blinding me with its beautiful brightness.

Turn over to the earths most
precious creation: Him.
His smile awakens me as he moves
the stranded hair from my face.

Soft kisses and gentle fingertips
moving along my cheeks

Kind words that whisper
"Youre beautiful, goodmorning my love"

And that is when I knew I was home,
safe in his arms,
in his presence.

12:58 a.m
Waxahatchee/ I think I love you

I find it depressing that
i am writing again
considering i cannot write a single
word
that brings a smile upon a face

Knowing I cannot write a thing
of happiness depresses me
and as I type the letters to this
note

my eyes form an ocean of
tears and i feel like drowning

what to do what to do
except let time take control
and wait