Arkansas here I come,

leave my lover and friends behind.
I've got to find my mind
in one place or
another and California livin'
isn't doing its duty.

So I say goodbye for now,
and in a year I'll look less dead.

I've got a loss of words,

I feel nothing but everything
and I'm not sure what it is

but nothing is quite right
but then again, nothing is quite wrong

I think I've lost my mind in the
thoughts of..

How can I be so blind?
Who am I again -
whats your name?
look at the stars, they shine so bright.

Get out of my head
I want to get out of my own head
please lets not do this

You're a beautiful boy, I love you
I hate you
who are you?
hold me close keep them away

I can't do this I want to die.
I feel nothing,
I want to feel.

fill your lungs with cancer,

you're going to die anyways
why not die a little faster?

There is no difference between a lie

and a white lie

because in the end

it is still a lie,

and you still look like a fool for believing it.

They only ask

    how you are ,
to hear that you are doing

fine , but are you really

     fine?

I'm not so afraid to lose
you anymore
and I am not quite sure why
that may be
perhaps its from the constant
leaving of the people I love
most
or maybe I no longer love
you as i did before
and that makes me afraid
because I do not understand
how you could love someone
so unbearably
then not at all

You use to make me feel
full of butterflies and pure love
now you make me feel
dull and
empty
I could feel the distance even
when your arms are wrapped around
me tight at night

As I lie here thinking of all the reasons
why i may not love you any longer
I cannot seem to come across
one because sometimes you could
love someone so unbearably
and then not at all
being with you has made me
understand that is true

When you awake
you'll be left with an empty
side of the bed we once
made love in
and a note I left that says:
"My dear, understand this was best
for you and I. I cannot bare the feeling
of saying goodbye to your face
because this goodbye is not
good at all and so I had to leave.
I took something from you awhile ago
I've returned it to the place I found it  
now you can find someone new to
hold your heart , for mine will always
be yours.

My name is Brit,
and as the days go one
I wish that name didnt belong to
the person I am today

Young and trying to find new
experiences in an empty town
full of horrid beings we interact with.

In love with a boy
who see's me as not enough
who breaks me with simple words
who I'd rather be with, than being alone.

Finding better places inside the mind
with the power of a tab on the tongue
or a snort from the nose

But when everything starts to come down
as do I
and I wish I was gone

Always trying to find the guts
and once I did
and with a glass on the side
13 white pills filled my stomach

My names Brit,
and I don't know who I am
and I think I've lost my mind.

I am here, and that is all
just a body
just
here.