It's taken me years
Of writing and reading,
Living,
Giving and receiving,
Love
To realise;
Love is simple
It's humans
That are complicated

In this moment
I hate you
So much
Yet why
Do I miss you
So much more?

Love is a verb
More than just
A thought
Best seen
In every day actions
Not in the gestures
Far and few between
A feeling
Best shown
Than said
So
No matter how much
Someone tells you
They love you
Pause
Listen
What do their actions say?

Flushed
Cheeks,
and all things face and pale
Butterflies
Stomach,
and places they have no business breeding
Racing
Heart,
but no ones chasing
Laughter
Loud,
but the joke was missing
Beauty
Eyes,
yet I'm blind, I wasn't even looking.

Love
Makes me feel and see
The things that aren't there
And amplifies
the things that are

And I absolutely surrender
to it's utter violence.

Invest
Don't invest
Invest
Don't invest
Thoughts
Like a pendulum
Self-pity
Why do we lose people
We have given everything for
Anger
Not going to happen again
I'm done giving value
To people
who only value themselves
Grief
My heart's dressed
In black, I imagine
Mourning all the time spent
Giving away much of me
To someone who would one day say,
thank you, but I didn't ask you to
Acceptance
That there's nothing abnormal about people leaving
It's when they stay
That's a miracle
People leave, people always leave
And those left behind
Are left to pick up the pieces
Of lessons learnt
Distrust,
Hearts, buried in Ice
A Normal response
To a normal life event
A growth process even

Never to invest, ever again
Loss made me do it
Loss made me this way

I love you
And so
I miss you
But you?
You only love me
When you miss me

Music is my life map
to the past
and the future.

A song comes on,
its rhythm
taking me back
to several moments
and memories,
some; I wish gone,
most; I want to relive.

Another comes on
Filling me
with dreams
of the future,
memories,
I wish to make;
the things,
I hope to feel.

A rhythmic reminder
to live;
Life itself