I'm missing you & you are right here,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­        I'm not feeling that you still care                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                        
  Sometimes I reach for you at night                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                      
wishing you would hold me tight                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
and the few times, we do kiss,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                          
  I want more than a peck on the
lips                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
We have drifted so far apart,                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                    
we no longer know each other's hearts                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                               
Every disagreement becomes full blown,                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                    
it's been so long since love's been shown                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                              
Never on the right page at the same time,                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                            
  I wonder if I ever cross your mind                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                
No just because phone calls during the day,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  you don't hear a thing I say anyway                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
I haven't gotten flowers in so many years,                                            
              ­                                                                 ­                                         
I don't know why I'm even still here                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
The kids are grown, they filled my day,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                
now it's me & you & we're not okay                                                          
                                                                ­                                                        
I feel like I give more than I recieve,                                                         ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
and you're ******* the life out of me                                                          
    ­                                                                 ­                                                   
I hold on because I want us to work,                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                          
while you pull away & it really hurts                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                        
  I want things the way they used to
be                                                               ­ 
                                                               ­                                                 
when I loved you & you loved
me                                                               ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                          
but deep down, I know the cold dark truth,                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                
those days are over & so are me & you

Not so very long ago,                                                             ­                                           
                     ­                                                                 ­                                    
I tried hard to let you know,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
that you played a part,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
in creating hate in my heart                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­       
I wanted you to pay,                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
every single **** day                                                              ­                        
                                                                ­                                                  
but while I punished you,                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
I was punishing me too                                                              ­                                
                                                                ­                                                      
It took all my strength,                                                        ­                            
                                                                ­                                                      
to hurt you at great lengths                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­           
I wanted to see you cry,                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
you knew the reasons why                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                        
I wanted you to break,                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
yearned to tie you to the stake,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
to watch you hurt and bleed,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
just like you did to me                                                               ­               
                                                                ­                                                
Now you are old & gray                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                             and I too have also aged,                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                                        
I heard you are alone,                                                           ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                                 ­    feeling bad for what you've done                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
As stubborn as can be,                                                              ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
you won't say you're sorry to me                                                               ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
but as I have grown up,                                                              ­                                
                                                                ­                                                          
I feel you've paid enough                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
So, I'll be the bigger person                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
and tell you're forgiven,                                                        ­                  
                                                                ­                                                    
as much for you as for me,                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
I will say I'm sorry

I watched her fall apart,                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                
felt the breaking of her
heart,                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                    
saw the life in her
eyes,                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                        
                                                                ­                                                        
go dimmer then fade &
die                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
Wiped away so many
tears,                                                           ­                                       
                                                                ­                                          
held her through all her
fears,                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                         
                                                                ­                                          
comforted her when she was
alone                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                
tried to soften her heart of
stone                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                        
  I wish she would have known,                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                                       
that we all hurt as we
grow                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­          
  I didn't see all the fine
  cracks,                                                       ­                         
                                                                ­                                                        
 I didn't know all the facts                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                            
Fragile as a porcelain doll,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­         
she managed to weather it all                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
She never thought she was strong,                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
but she was so very wrong                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
  You may wonder, who is she?                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
  The answer is, she used to be me

Juggling all the *****,                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                              
putting out the fires,                                                           ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                      
you sit through it all                                                              ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                      
and I am getting tired                                                            ­                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
never too little too late,                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­                 
I have been waiting,                                                         ­                                 
                                                                ­                                              
while you try to debate,                                                          ­                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  I'm left here hating                                                           ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
  I've given you the time                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                  
  and you've been taking it,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
  to make up your mind,                                                            ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­       
  of whether I 'm worth it                                                               ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­                
   I have news for you,                                                             ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                  
  your love doesn't define me,                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­ 
  so do what you need to                                                               ­                               
                                                                ­                                              
while you stand behind me                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
  I've already done it all,                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                    
  as you sat thinking                                                         ­                                                   
             ­                                                                 ­                                          
  I won't take the fall                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                    
   for your slow rising                                                           ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                    
  I did it all without you,                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                              
What are you good for?                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                    
  Do what you have to,                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                        
I won't be here anymore                                                          ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­             
                                                                ­                                            
  Raised our kids all alone.                                                           ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­            
  kept the house up everyday                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­     
                                                           ­                                                             
  worked my fingers to the bones,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                              
  while you went out & played                                                           ­                         
                                                                ­                                            
  Tucked the kids into bed at night,                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                              
   raised them with love & pride                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                              
  What you did isn't right,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
  you never stood by my side                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                         
       ­                                                                 ­                                            
When you were out drinking,                                                        ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I was at home all alone                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                            
  What the hell was I thinking                                                         ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­                                        
  while I was sitting on the phone                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                    
  Cheating on me, watching me cry                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                                  
  as beat myself up all the time,                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­         
   And yet, still a fool, I tried,                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                               
   it is true, love is blind

I've crawled through the ashes                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                  
 left behind by my downfall                                                         ­                                                                                                                      ­                                          
with knuckles made of brass                                                            ­                                        
                                                                ­                                            
 I fought and still stood
 tall                                                           ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                          
You thought you destroyed
me                                                               ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­  
but I made it
through                                                          ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­           
  So don't ask for pity,                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                  
this revenge is for
you                                                              ­                            
                                                                ­                                                      
As my scars are barely
healing                                                         ­                                                                 ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
and my wounds remain undried                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­         
I am happy to be feeling,                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
that it's your turn to cry                                                              ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                   
You've spent your life basking,                                                         ­                                                             
   ­                                                                 ­                                            
with the sun in your face                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
now it's your turn to be asking                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­              
for my mercy & grace                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­           
I want to see you broken,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                        
shattered & worn down,                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                    
it's just a little token                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                                             from the strength I 've
found                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                        
  I want you to beg
  me                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
to take you back again                                                            ­                                        
                                                                ­                                                      
  it will make me
  happy                                                         ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                      
to know you're suffering

I want to shrivel up and blow
away                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                      
like a fallen leaf on an autumn
day                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                                          
      a carefree dancer, waltzing in the
breeze                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                   
 form a pile on the ground, jump in
  me,                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                  
  feel the rainfall wash over me                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
  then bask in the sunlight, so
  colorfully                                                    ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
I want to melt into the damp dark
earth                                                        
                                                                ­                                                     
 to be born again when Spring gives birth

I don't love who you
are,                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                        
I love who you used to be                                                               ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                      
 I keep hoping that not too          
 far,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
  that person is still
  lurking                                                       ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                        
   I get a glimpse now &
   then                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                 
 that keeps my hopes
alive                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
I keep on wondering
when,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
you'll tell me he's
arrived                                                          ­                            
                                                                ­                                                
Every once in a
while,                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                    
he shows himself to
me,                                                              ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                                       
in a look or a smile                                                            ­                                                    
            ­                                                                 ­                                           
and it is so reassuring                                                       ­                                                               
                                                                ­                                                  
but those glimpses are so few                                                              ­                              
                                                                ­                                                      
  it leaves me questioning                                                      ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­               
  Why do I stay with you?                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
What's this loves direction?                                                       ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
My heart still won't give up                                                               ­                   
                                                                ­                                                    
it's missing what is gone                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
but I know it's been long
enough                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
and he's not coming home