kathleen

Mar 5

Thinking of You

There surely must be some evolutionary benefit for me constantly assuming the best in people.

Mar 5

Cayleigh

It hurts…

It hurts to look in the mirror
And see the thin white strands cross my leg

It hurts to see my ribs in the mirror
When I look at myself

It hurts to look at my face
To see tears falling and the bags below my eyes

It hurts to see the blade
When i close my eyes

It hurts to think about the blade
To feel the urge to find it

It hurts
It hurts
it hurts

But it hurts way more to stop
But it hurts way more to be clean
But it hurts way more to see the scale tick up’

something hurts
and it hurts way more

there is probably some grammatical errors.

#selfharm #eatingdisorders

kathleen Mar 5

I am a piece of nature

I am a blade of grass,
lost to the crowd,
unimportant and unnoticed.

I am a spent flower,
never to bloom again,
burned out and useless.

I am a strand of seaweed,
laying baking in the sun,
gross and out of place.

I am a slug in your garden,
eating your hopes and dreams,
annoying and ******* the eyes.

I am a piece of nature,
something important even if
useless and unseemly.

I am a piece of nature,
and I will grow from this husk of a person,
because I am resilient and natural,
and I am a piece of nature.

kathleen Mar 4

Jam

Everything that comes out of my mouth sticks to me
like jam does to children’s hands.
All the things I say keep me up late into the night,
just like children do on Christmas Eve.
Except no man in red and white fur to look forward to,
just the fact I can’t stand myself.

kathleen Mar 1

panic

eyebrows furrowing
voice whispering
hands clenching
sounds blasting
eyes wandering
heart thumping
breath shaking
sweat dripping
teeth grinding
hair messing
clock ticking
panicking

panic.

panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic
panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic

kathleen Mar 1

alone

I’m in a room full of people who "love" me
and love each other,
and they’re talking to each other
while I smile, my eyes twitching from face to face,
twiddling my fingers
in an attempt to hold onto something—
to keep me breathing.

I’m in a room full of people who "love" me
and love each other,
and they’re failing to notice
I’m not there.

I’m alone.

#lonely