Why do I want what I can't have
When initially I create a feeling that feels like I am being stabbed
Even though I am alive
I feel dead
I search my unrequited love for a guy instead
Instead of looking outside and seeing the beauty in the rain
Seeing how the rain falls with love
And it looks up to see the trees
That the rain helped create up above
The rain works in perfect harmony with the seed,soil and sun
We can learn from the rain and see past the lust of love
To see that there are other things that we need
We need other stimuli for balance
and then we shall live in perfect harmony

You change in the snap of a finger
you give pain
with your stinger
you can't see the pain
why can't you see

i've struggled over the weekend
I kept all my stress in
And my thoughts have finally caught up to my head
now I breakdown

I'm cold
I have ice to my skin
it shivers me to my core
Fall is ending
while Winter will begin

Those that say
they aren’t emotional
Show the most emotions

Those that think they show the most emotions
Are the most together?

You're blind
you don't see
he is not the one for you
he tries repetitively to manipulate
he doesn't communicate
but you see something amazing in him
but what?
I could never understand

Chest,recoil,push push
I tried to save a life
but he was gone before I got there

13 yrs older
probably sitting in a dark room
doing this to the children
I hear life repeats itself
so who did this to you?

I always wonder
about those 3 days

Does it even matter to you
Because it changed my entire life

He’ll be the death of me
I was just fine without him
Then I got my seasonal depression
With him now on my mind
I just keep thinking about him
Wondering if he’s thinking back
If I see him again
I hope he can reciprocate
Cause I wouldn’t know how to make of anything else
I’m losing my mind
Losing all composure
I keep wondering if i'm ever getting closure

Lies and deception
What some use to create a sense of perfection
It feels calm and it feels like it protects  
But some might see through your incompetent dialect

I'm boiling with anger and jealousy
why does he talk to you
but not talk to me

I shouldn't be angry because he was never mine
nor did I take the time
to show him who I am
but I still feel such indescribable pain

The day you left
I can’t help thinking that you committed theft
You ran away with my heart with no warning

I'm excited
so delighted
my mood has changed
so fast

I'm like a roller coaster
twists and turns
ups and downs

working hard for those that want to break my back

Emotions move like the wind
but my body can't take it

I'm so close to whiplash
I will not even fake it

I'm screaming in silence
Wondering to myself
Why is life like this
How come I can't see you
And would you even want me too

I just wanna be with you

"Wake up and smell the smoke"
That's what my friends said to me
before I awoke

I apologize for the things I don’t realize  
How my actions change the way you see me  Through your eyes
The way I go from sunshine to cold hard ice  If only I knew that my listening ears  
Would have sufficed  
The tension between two

why does he attempt to
harm me with his words

when I try to let them go
you know
by staying silent and calm
he comes back harder
in an attempt to provoke

I try and try and try
but I can't lie
it's hard sometimes

it's hard sometimes for me to get past my pain

because I know he wont care about it