I breathe anxiety
I cry panic
And I carry bombs just waiting to burst all of it out

i lost my edge along the way
sanded down to a subtle gray
saturated, the colors drain out
until the day i blow my brains out

beneath the plastic clacking
i’m laughing. too attached
to girls moving backwards
and making eye contact
they burn with the passion i lack

the mornings always hurt too much
for the night to feel worth it
i’m broken and you’re a crutch
but in the moment it felt perfect

i think too much when i’m all alone
memories stinging like a funny bone
i think too much when i’m by myself
i’m just another toy left on the shelf

i’ll probably stumble to the driveway
before the stars are all done shining
find a place still open
where the locals are unwinding

i got a fresh pack and a pocket of cash
ready to spend my last check
on the first girl that looks my way
forgetting all the word she’ll say
doesn’t matter, we’ll be gone by day

i know a lot of people
upset with the way i’m living
but i’ve never been known
for making good decisions

i'm lying to everyone
rather be drunk than loved
yeah sure i've been taking my meds
i've been getting to bed
and there's not as many
voices in my head

you take your coffee sweet
vanilla latte with stevia
you treat me like concrete
as i dream of you biting my sheets

fluorescent orange
sunset soaring
sore and a syringe
stripping bone so cringe
get a grip, kid
puzzle pieces
biting creases
in my lips
until they bleed
you said you love me
so it's cool goodnight

it's harder to find the way out
when you don't know how you
dug yourself down.
sunken, so alone.
all alone now.
everyone left you above ground.