I’m Black
I’m White

oh wait

Take a moment to think
Like what does he mean

I’m in between
Both colors

oh wait

Well not anymore
That’s the old me

I refuse to paint
That way anymore

oh wait

You understand now
What’s right is right
And what’s wrong is wrong

I’m no longer willing
To bend the truth

don’t wait

I couldn’t be more sincere
I’m tired of living in fear

right now

I’ve decided it’s time
To make a change
I must be honest with myself

no longer

Am I willing to hide
Within the spectrum

of color

It’s plain and simple
Good or bad intentions

pick one

Well moving forward
Good is my only decision

i might

Slip up but
I’m not perfect

i promise

Back in the day
I used to claim

i was

Back in the gray
Where I was from

that was

The worst place
To ever be

In between  

The lies and the truth
Playing the sides

not anymore

I’m refusing moving forward
To be that guy anymore

I am

Black and White
Moving forward

what’s right

Is the only thing
That matters

I am

Slowly changing
Working harder

getting values

I couldn’t
Feel better

The threat
to relapse

No longer
a concern

I rather fight
and earn

The right
to deserve

To be
a better

MAN

Locked and loaded
GUN
Ticking time
BOMB
****** of
MAN

Mental Health
AWARENESS
Could have
SAVED
Us from
HIM

Shooter
BOMBER
Bad tempered
MENTALLY SICK
Unfortunately the
SICKENED REALITY

If you
​​​​​​​NEED HELP
Please get it
WE DON’T NEED  
Anymore victims to
DIE AT OTHERS ARMS

Poetry has no rules
so if you feel
in life you
just don’t fit in
well hop aboard
and join on in
because you’re
always welcome
Poetry has no rules
so therefore
you can be yourself
without any discomfort
there’s no need
to apologize or say sorry
for being who you are
please just be yourself
Poetry has no rules
sure some may like
to rhyme when they write
while others
just go with the flow
some pour their heart
and gut out, while others
write about nature
Poetry has no rules
so just remember this
when you’re on this site
all we ask, is you be yourself
and we will do our best
to support you and shine light
in your life through words of
ENCOURAGEMENT
Poetry has no rules
so please just
express yourself
share your thoughts
not just for yourself
but so together we all can
GROW

Quit working
quit trying
Quit asking
quit replying
Just
Give up
give in
Give up
give up
Just
Accept
you can't make a
DIFFERENCE
accept
there's 10 for every one of
You
unfortunately life *****
You
just have to make the best of
It

It’s another day
you’re still away
but it’s okay
you’re worth the wait
States away we remain
but still these feelings
CANNOT FADE
We’re one day closer
to being back together
The in-between may seem
Like forever but
NO MATTER
what my mind tells me
My heart still screams
YOUR NAME
in-between every beat
PURPOSE

Pages and pages
of stories being told
Not just a book
but rather a way of life
Pages and pages
of beliefs being sold
Not just a book
but rather a life manual
Pages and pages
of faith being explained
Not just a book
but rather a religious journal
Pages and pages
of religion being trained
Not just a book
but rather a Bible
Pages and pages
of words to be deciphered
Not just a book
but rather an adventure
Pages and pages
of many before us
Not just a book
but rather a documentation
of past trials and tribulations
Pages and pages
still to be wrote and fulfilled
Not just a book
but rather a romantic story
Pages and pages
of tragedy and sacrifice
Not just a book
but rather an Old Testament
Pages and pages
of massive confusion
Not just a book
but rather a great detailed history of past times before my birth from an unknown source claiming to know the whole story of God, his son and dating back before Christ
Pages and pages
from pages and pages
Not just a book
but rather a story passed down with time and rewrote to be modernized many times and yet I still to know the accuracy of translations or the hearts or minds of the ones that decided the language needing to be heard
Pages and pages
wrote to persuade us
Not just a book
but rather a tool to humble us
Pages and pages
upon pages and pages
But I rather ask him
through prayer and communication to seek the answers then rely solely
Not just a book

Why wait
for the
darkest hour
In the
darkest night
When you
can look
in my
MIND

My life has been a crockpot of mixed emotions all stewing together

Without any taste of the familiarity of each ingredient alone

The comfort of them all together creates a vibe felt forever

Before I found myself, within fake walls that weren't my home

"I KNEW NO BETTER, NO BETTER AT ALL, UNTIL NOW! "

All blank canvases start out the same, the beauty is in what the artist decides to create

All newborns are blank canvases however they all don’t start out the same

The parents are their artist helping to create them into their works of art

Hereditary pros and cons make each newborn blank canvas an unique surface

The key to being a successful parent is understanding unique  and beautiful art

We all are only human however we all are as beautiful as the eyes of the beholder

So hold your blank canvases close to your heart and TOGETHER understand

EACHOTHER

Nurture your blank canvas with the love you had or the love you wish you had

BE THE DIFFERENCE
in creating a masterpiece and more will come

HEREDITARY

Heart to brain
feelings travel
entering unmindful
and then converted into
Words
exiting mindfully
leaving your mind
Empty

That very moment after those words leave, is when you really think about what you said and however you feel then is your conscious speaking without feelings.

They expect to be treated better but haven’t they witnessed your self-behavior? I never expect anyone to treat me better than they do themself.......FOOLISH

Good luck with that dog
he’s old and that’s a new trick
good luck with that brain

The noose said it will rain today
the news said there was another shooting
the noose said Covid was on the rise
the news is IRRELEVANT
break free and base decisions off your own feelings not people that get paid to SELL RATINGS

17 years old
he was still
a kid

Raised by the streets
his mom worked 3 jobs
to barely make ends meet

No male role-model
for him to look up to
if only he did

17 years old
the court said
he was a man

One bad decision
he will now live with
for the rest of his:

LIFE-SENTENCE

A sky
A star
A guy
All alone
One day
One night
That all changed
A sky
A star
A girl
2 worlds
Spent apart
Now Together
Lost in
One sky
Two stars
Cross paths
Shinning bright
In one another's light
Found
Discovered
Uncovered
Her eyes
Melt his heart
Her heart
Warms his soul
2 stars
1 guy
1 girl
1 sky
Together
They form
1 bond

I’m scared
I’m scarred
The fear hurts more
than the pain
I’m losing
I’m lost
The missing pieces
are less concerning
than myself
LOST AND AFRAID
surely is better
than found and afraid
Is there comfort to be found
in the unknown ?
One day I hope to find out
one day I might be able
to personally speak for both
BUT UNTIL THEN I REMAIN
Scared, scarred, afraid, losing and lost……………..

There’s a store
downtown amidst the other
small businesses
that towers over the rest
big and fancy
with copper trim and gutters
big glass windows
from the floor to ceilings
showcasing their
expensive and upscale linens
I pass this shop
every single morning and night
and it never fails
something always catches
my eyes every-time
It’s so odd because I’m not
a materialistic guy
nor could I ever see myself
spending the funds
it most definitely would require
to buy one of their items
however there was a time
when I thought it would matter
and that time reminds me
of her because for my love
price never mattered
this place gives me trace
to find memories
of when I was still with her
for her presence
of magnificent beauty too
with elegance that
always demanded my attention
and I realize everyday
as I pass by this place twice
how much I still
truly love and miss my Jennifer
although I must
understand and realize this
just like the store
she has nothing to offer me
but a nice view
for her love I cannot afford
nor any other
in my current condition
however that
doesn’t mean I can’t imagine
a day to come
when I don’t have to
window shop

Purple hills
Pink sky
Baby blue moon
Stars white with hints of
yellow outlining their edges
All the trees appearing black
against the backdrop of Mother Nature’s night


A Bluetooth speaker, one thick plaid blanket, a bottle of wine and my dream girl

A playlist I made earlier that day just for her and I, when the sky was blue, the sun burnt orange, no clouds in sight and I soaked in the sun

A perfect day that led to a perfect night and the suns rays recharged me with the warm love it spreads so freely

Our favorite songs now playing as we spread the blanket above a thick patch of blue grass and lay side by side singing along softly

Our faces meet in the middle as her eyes call for mine like magnets they refuse to separate

These are the days and nights I long for but for now it’s on hold as I go through this heartbreak grey

One man makes millions and has no needs 
Many millions make nothing and would **** to eat 
One man can change their life and spread wealth 
Many millions changed his life
and provided his wealth 

One man making millions from millions of others less fortunate and he decides
To make one bad decision and cost one of the millions to lose their life

From many drinks and getting behind one wheel, having no regard for anyone else but himself, without fans he would be nothing just like the millions that do without 

One man took it for granted, to make millions for playing a sport and went from a professional athlete to a murderer, turning the millions that made him millions from fans to victims 

Moral of the story.... 
All it takes is one bad decision to effect millions and all it takes is one bad decision to go from millions to literally having nothing, Please if you drink dont be selfish and get behind the wheel

Insecurities
WILL
trap you
OR
set you
FREE
ReBeL

One centimeter 
the difference 
Between life 
and death 

One second 
the difference 
Between life 
and death

One decision 
the difference 
Between life 
and death 

One bullet 
one gun 
One trigger 
one centimeter 

One person 
one mind 
One heart 
one finger 

Millions affected 
from one
One variable 
affects many

"Most of my shades I claim and respect, Most of them!"

Turn me on like a light switch, turn me off when I'm off, I'll be on with your touch

Don’t fear the mirror
open your eyes
look past the disguise

Don’t fear the past
open your eyes
quit reliving for then

Don’t fear the present
open your eyes
this is your time now

Don’t fear the future
open your eyes
look forward to change

Poverty prevents greed, says the hungry. Greed prevents poverty, says the fed.

Upbeat, standing tall, 
appearance confident,
healthy heart, mind filled with 
everything but doubt and 
I'M FEELING GOOD

Ounces of tears 
matches 
ounces of beers 
matches 
pounds of fears 
matches 
pounds of regrets 
matches 
years of
ALL THEE ABOVE 
dEpReSsEd
until the liquids 
replace the face 
that hurts so much 
with feelings gone 
NUMB

Went from the PRESENT  
Moving into the FUTURE
Now PAST-TENSE,
SHE'S GONE!

An abundance of 
pain, turmoil, regrets and 
mental health issues 

Serial killers 
made from same ingredients 
not one victim yet 

Except for myself 
I keep killing who I am 
over and over 

So I guess I'm one
each death brings hope for new life 
I'll keep murdering 

Until Im reborn 
again with a better mind 
absent from voices 

Reminding myself 
of the past decisions made 
over and over 

The same voices said
from youth I would amount to
nOtHiNg WiThOuT tHeM

I hate statistics
because I have
defied all odds

Raised by a
single mom
no father

She had me
at the age
of only 16

Many step-dads
in and out
bad influences

3 more siblings
3 different dads
I was the oldest

Mom abused drugs
before finally
growing up

2 failed marriages
then finally
settled down

To the dad
of my youngest
two siblings

He was a wreck
alcohol abuser
bad tempered

Abusive to mom
and us kids
mentally unstable

9 different
public schools
total before 8th grade

I got good
at making new friends
out of necessity

Home was Hell
the devil my
step-dad

Subject to every
type of abuse
known to mankind

High-school dropout
teenage pregnancy
emancipated age 17

Finally free from
an unstable and
undesirable environment

I hate statistics
because I have
defied all odds

I've never hit a woman
I'm not dead from an
overdose or suicide

I battled my demons
with alcohol but never
led to doing drugs

I have remained
a good father
to my son

I've held a job
and always
have worked hard

Sure I have
my flaws
but dont we all

I've learned
about mental health
and how to grow

A lesson I wish
our schools
promoted more

I got my GED
I have a great
paying job

Statistics are just
very misleading sometimes
our hearts and minds

Can overcome all math
If we can realize
not all things are our fault

He will
he shall
well so
Will I
RISE AGAIN

Everytime I remember who I was, I forget who it is I am. 

Everytime I'm reminded of who I was, I'm discarded of who I have become. 

Every single ******* time I'm forced to reflect, every single time I'm forced to ******* relapse!

Depressing thoughts cost your life years, the Doctors re-asks " you're taking your pills?"

Depression results paid in full with time, the coroner's results" death caused by the cure!"

Layers upon layers
and still I see you
Beneath them all
you remain scared
Take your time dear
only you can take them off
One by one they will fall
don't try to conquer them all
At once.......

WORK LOVES ME
60 hours a week
barely making
ends meet
stressed

WORK LOVES ME NOT
0 hours a week
abundantly making
ends meet
relaxed

WORK LOVES ME
60 hours a week
away from family
and friends
missed

WORK LOVES ME NOT
168 hours a week
with your family
and friends
blessed

Pain fades, pain never dies 
Pain lies, pain has saved
memories of her, she's gone 
Regardless of time 
I still miss her 
Every aspect of our love 
slowly forgotten 
With time our loves shadows 
have slowly vanished
The only memory left to remind me
Is the memory of the faded pain, what once was beauty
What once made tears of joy 
now haunts me, with tears of loss 
I hope she's happy 
I hope she has fully moved on 
I wish this faded pain
on no one

Pain is powerful
pain can produce
Pain creates comfort
pain creates truth
Pain is real
pain is raw
Pain made me
pain gains trust
Pain translates easily
pain persuades others
Pain relates well
pain convinces us
Pain produces sales
pain soars profits
Pain is genuine
pain is love
Pain haunted me
pain blessed me
Pain is life
pain is purpose
Pain employs me
pain pays well
Pain is me
pain is you
Pain needs me
pain needs you
Pain sells cars
pain buys cars
I'm not a salesman
I'm a pain identifier
I'm not a shark
I'm a pain comforter
We all have pain
we all desire comfort
I share my pain
to gain your trust
You share your pain
to repay my trust
Together we become painless
when I sell you
I'm not a salesman
you're not a customer
​​​​​​We are pain victims
together finding pain comfort
Pain leads to profits
pain leads to sales
Pain is my business
pain pays me well

Celebrate in your
children’s victories
and success

PARENTS

Be proud of
your children’s
turn of events

PARENTS

Avoid in your
children’s failures
and battles

PARENTS

Don’t disown your
children’s flaws
they are your

PRODUCTS

It’s not always
intended to be
convenient being a

PARENT

Own the title
no one is perfect
admit guilt when

NEEDED

Never stop leading
never stop learning
and NEVER STOP

LOVING

PARENTS

Sir thanks fire
sit by fire
MISCOMMUNICATION
When I’m smoking fire
win I’m speaking fire
HIGH

Emotions falling
Anger rising
waves of hate created
love contemplating
actions arriving
nerves surfacing
Lost at sea
amidst insecurities
Subconscious winds
whispering thoughts
tempting the heart
to ignore the feelings
Uneven shoulders  
a missing Angel
for quite sometime
A devil always present
fueling the fire
of manipulation
temptation kicks in
danger calling
Emotions falling
Anger rising
waves of hate created
love contemplating
actions arriving
nerves surfacing
Lost at sea
Fcked!
stuck
corrupt
trapped within
these waters
take me further
away from normalcy
Does it exist
quenched fists
body shaking
exhausted from
all the fighting
Dark skies
fogged views
clouded memory
your soul
a distant stranger
A devil always present
fueling the fire
of manipulation
temptation kicks in
danger calling
Fcked

Love’s pool keeps
CALLING
Tempting me to get
CLOSE
I refuse to give in
AGAIN
I’m so afraid, I’ll
FALL
My heart beats
HARD
At the
THOUGHT
My subconscious screams
NO
Before this last
HEARTBREAK
I was
FEARLESS
But now, I’m scared shitless
AFRAID
No more diving in
HEADFIRST
I wish I could
TRUST
But the result of lost
LOVE
Has left its
MARK
To my :
FUTURE
LOVE ,
I’M
SORRY,
I’m
DAMAGED-GOODS
unfortunately
Hopefully
YOU’LL
STILL
love
ME
4

WHO I AM
IF NOT
I WON’T
Give-in
To : LOVE’S CALL
To the
DEEP-END
Without first
YOUR PATIENCE
and ability to
UNDERSTAND

New place
new face
new steps to take
I can’t keep
chasing these dreams
retracing old steps
from others paths
they carried
me down
I must move on
I can’t give up
so close
but yet
far away
One step
one day
gets us all closer
​​​​​​​just try

Not comfortable
within your own skin or mind
you are not to blame

For this is his fault
I promise you can trust me
I will help you grow

Day by day we will
move slow and I’ll be patient
together we will

Conquer these feelings
of those insecurities
until they are gone

You’re worth it My Love
you deserve to be happy
we both deserve that

You know I love you
together just you and me
that is our future

A life that allows
you to be comfortable
however you are

Because I love you
so unconditionally
and I accept you

Only for yourself
whatever or whoever
that truly may be

Because love is blind
It’s what is beneath your chest
and those pretty eyes

That have me willing
to risk it all, you’re worth it
I will be patient

Don't label me hateful
because I seem ungrateful when the reality is I'm just
UNEDUCATED
So please dont
assume the worst
and take it
PERSONAL

Threats from debts, debts from desires, NOT NEEDS

A world
in a world
Hidden from
the people within
An experiment
within a world
inside another one
The outsiders looking in
paying dues to disrupt us
Making bets on threats to come
laughing at the ignorance
among us, wondering how…
WE COULD BE SO DUMB!
wondering how?
WE COULD BE SO CONTROLLED!
wondering how?
We believe one thing but let it be taken away.
FREEDOM, we are free
gained from deaths
of many loved ones
from war that was
defending our
FREEDOM…..
SUPPOSEDLY
I CALL *******
it’s all just “politics”
Profit driven
entertainment filled
humanity killed
expensive thrills
the outsiders fund
to get their socks off
from looking in
At:
A world
in a world
Hidden from
the people within

Tearless shoulders
never a rock
for someone
to lean on
I'm not
a bad friend
I'm just
not capable
of being
a good one
SUBJECT TO CHANGE

To the guy wearing the shirt
SAFETY in bright reflective orange color chainsmoking cigarettes
back to back
To the guy wearing the mask
SAFETY in front of your face
chaincovering fresh air
back to back

CHEERS
to each
thier own,
SAFETY

Before her my cup was half empty

While together our cup became totally full , from her half full cup added to my half empty cup , creating one

After her, our cup became hers and I left with an empty cup and a **** ton of OPTIMISM

Market fresh filets
marinating all day
Lazy day, at home
videogames with my son
Fresh powdered roads
plowing driveways
Busy day, at home
riding shotgun with my son
Dogs anxiously await
steady napping away
Lazy day, at home

"Man I've missed being home, there's no place I'd rather be."