It's 3:40 in the morning 
and the sky is
still pitch black
from the night before 
I awoke from dreaming 
still wishfully thinking 
she was in my arms 
It's 3:40 in the morning 
and my heart is
still pitch black 
from our faded love 
I awoke from dreaming 
still wishfully thinking 
she was in my arms
It's 3:40 in the morning 
and her presence is
still pitch black 
from when she left 
I awoke from dreaming 
to this nightmare 
realizing forever she is gone 
It's 3:40 in the morning 
and I'm forever lonely
soul pitch black 
since she left home 
I wanna sleep now 
wishfully dreaming of her

Spokane Washington
an ounce of **** from the dispensary $98

Grand Rapids Michigan
an ounce of **** from the dispensary $225

BOTH EQUAL THC LEVELS
LOCATION, LOCATION
LOCATION

Old Orchard Beach
cold fall day
Couple massages
psychic reading
Elegant dinner
small cabin.....
i miss us

Never guilty of
faking being paralyzed
never without pain

Ball and chain
BRAIN
CAPTIVE
thoughts and actions
PRE-DETERMINED
PROGRAMMED
insecurities and trauma
INGREDIENTS
WITHIN  
constant struggles
INTERNALLY
HARVESTED
unacquainted values
ROLE-MODELS
NONEXISTENT
desired changes
ACCEPTANCE
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
investigating history
PERSONAL
PAST
dissecting situations
REGARDLESS
DARKNESS
managing behaviors
BREAKING
PATTERNS
using exercises
SELF-TAUGHT
EDUCATION
moving forward
WITH
GOALS
staying focused
EVERYDAY
AHEAD

Heartbreak is unisex and one size fits all. I’m ready for a new wardrobe!

Drugs, alcohol, rock and roll music, partying and ***
Mixed emotions victim of adolescence
Mental, physical, ****** abuse a familiar acquaintance
What do I know ?
I was just the sponge in the oven absorbing every single one of those demons
Before I could speak, I knew how to communicate
Before I could comprehend, i knew how to listen
It involved no words.....
JUST FEELINGS

——————————————
|                                                 |

|                INSIDE                     |

|                  THE                        |

|                   BOX                      |  

|———————————- —|

THINK

From the deep-end then
to calm and shallow waters
finally at shore

You have the right to
Remain silent anything
You say or do will .......

Evil does exist 
We all cross paths with evil 
some of us host it 

Evil does exist 
Should we try to avoid it?
some of us try to 

Evil does exist 
How can we conquer evil?
if we are afraid 

Evil does exist 
But im not afraid of it 
I used to host it 

Evil does exist
But not inside of me now 
because I chose love 

Love will overcome 
All evil and conquer it 
evil does exist

But so does love too 
Evil is a choice you make 
but so is love too 

What will you decide? 
What side do you belong to ?
Evil versus Love

When words can’t express                              
what the heart feels from the pain
just look in my eyes

I prayed for a woman to save this soul
I was given a woman to save this soul
I took for granted a woman that saved this soul
I prayed for another woman to fix my broken heart
I was given a woman to fix my broken heart
Hopefully I won't **** this up again

Common Cents 
past tense 
seems gone 
lost 
the cost 
more sins 
less gifts 
no presents 
just ask yourself 
WHY CANT WE ALL 
JUST GET ALONG
makes sense 
to much 
quite obvious 
without difference 
we all 
would be the same 
lame 
tame 
these pro-democritical
THOUGHTS 
lay them to rest
cots 
laser printed 
remarks 
robots 
marked dots 
melted down
recyclables in pots 
dumped in molds 
hault 
stop 
wait
what? 
one thing 
that cant be 
mass-produced 
to fill those plots
IS A GOD GIVEN HEART 
the cost 
for admission 
besides 
complete 
submission 
can be bought 
with 
common-cents 
from common-wealth 
knowledge 
is what im referencing 
not monetary values 
faith is free to adopt 
but itll literally be 
A GUARANTEED RETURN

Therapy human
he’s a needy little guy
that Buster of mine

Place yourself
within temptation
seems like
a risky situation
Continously
I find myself
amidst bad ingredients
but the difference now
from him and
WHO I AM NOW
I dont give in
or let others dictate
MY DECISIONS
free

Timing in life is 
EVERYTHING
Lining my life up 
CONTINUOSLY 
******* my life away
OCCASIONALLY 
Life is all timing 
EVERYTIME
Life lines up 
CONTRADICTION 
Life ****** on me
OCCASIONALLY

We seek to be free
but yet we confine
OURSELVES

Within walls
within debt
CAPTIVE

Mother Nature
had all to offer
FREEDOM

But yet we
cut her down
DESTROY

To make supplies
in order  to build
HOMES

They come with
hefty monthly payments
COST

As we sacrifice
her loving nature
****

As we sacrifice
our loving time
PAYMENT

To fund this dream
containing ourselves within
WALLS

Physically and mentally
as we accept this
REALITY

40 hours a week at work
56 hours a week of sleep they
RECOMMEND

There’s only 168 hours  in a week
that leaves only 72 hours left
SPENT

Now subtract kids sports games
school events, dinner dates and
TRAVEL

So our biggest expense is spent
on a place we hardly stay
STUCK

A mortgage is kind of sounding
like a timeshare at this point
REALITY

But the banks are nice
with their low interest rates
OFFERS

It used to be a couple generations under one roof to help
EACH-OTHER

This made sense as the kids got babysat by their
GRANDPARENTS

The houses were paid off quickly if not bought in cash from everyone
CHIPPING-IN

As they grew bigger they built another home or two or added an
ADDITION

That was back when the values were stronger than ever
BEFORE

Now families struggle apart and are in debt up to their
EYEBALLS

As the kids go to daycare and the grandparents are in elder
HOMES

Old and alone no purpose to live without any family to
VISIT

Talk about irony as we have been sold for many years
MARKETING

On what the banks and economy need versus our
FAMILIES

Be optimistic, the bottle is half full. I cannot stay positive! I know I will finish it all and when it's gone so are my morals and values too! The glass isn't half full, my troubles are halfway here! That's the real life answer!

A meal among friends

A meal among family

A meal among strangers

Food the universal language

NEVER TAKE A MEAL FOR GRANTED

NEVER TAKE PEOPLE FOR GRANTED

EVERYONE DESERVES TO EAT

...............................................I
................­...............................R
................................­..P O W E R L E S S
...............................................D


...W
K I L L S
   L    O
   L O V E
          E

WILL KILLS LOVE
LOVE KILLS WILL

MY LOST LOVE
COST MY WILL

TIRED...
POWERLESS...

COMMON NUMERATOR
HER           HER
-------    =    --------
HIM           HIM
COMMON DENOMINATOR
MATH SAYS
THIS IS  
EQUAL
________
________
UNCOMM­ON NUMERATOR
HER            HIM
-------   ❤   --------
HIM            HER
UNCOMMON DENOMINATOR
LOVE SAYS
THIS IS    
EQUAL  
COMPROMISE

Kick
chiLL
Both friends sit
Pick
piLLs
Both ends lit
Wick
stiLL
Both lend hits
Sick
iLL
Both tend it
Thick
biLLs
Both hands get
Quick
fiLL
Both land bits
Licks
****
Both send ****
Brick
ceLLs

Where to start
well there’s the obvious
teeth need brushed
and flossed
every night
and morning
I always conclude
with a gargle of
MOUTHWASH
to **** the germs
Every day a shower
or two
no I’m not addicted
but when you’re
a gym rat
it’s necessary
shampoo and conditioner
otherwise my hair becomes
a disaster
Irish spring
my choice of bar
the scent just permits
the smell of freshness
plus the LADIES LOVE IT
Hair needs combed
or brushed
otherwise it leads to
tangles and knots
Now let’s not forget
q-tips to get the earwax
OUT
the pleasure I get
from feeling clean
Now these
next couple things
may not be
as often but
they are just as
IMPORTANT
toenails and fingernails
they every couple days
need a nice trim
normally after
pressing my cuticles down
and using this neat little tool
that pushes against
the excess skin
and as it goes
it takes it off
leaving them smooth
last but not least
a file to
round the edges
to prevent
HANGNAIL
One of my least favorite
of all to take care of
most definitely is
my ****** HAIR
although I got
some fancy trimmers
I always stress
about it being perfect
nice clean lines
the curves just right
no guy wants
an uneven face
and when I’m done
and it’s all trimmed just right
I got this attachment
that’s made for
NOSE-HAIRS
every now and then
it gets caught
as I press firmly
to get them all
and it tugs hard
as I say ouch
after this though
my all time favorite thing
when it comes to
HYGIENE
aftershave
as the alcohol burns my
freshly shaved face
it makes me feel
so refreshed and clean
and leaves me smelling
so dam good
Now you cannot forget
to every so often
TOUCHUP
your eyebrows
no one wants
a unibrow
Another important part
of staying clean
and of superb hygiene
is an everyday
multiple times
ROUTINE
use as needed
DEODORANT
to help fight
any unwanted
BODY ODORS
Now somethings
are just not feasible
to do yourself
so you have to
RELY on the PROFESSIONALS
haircut , but thank GOD
It’s only an every couple weeks
AFFAIR as it’s costly
And last but not least
an important variable
the power of
using a good lotion
after each shower
to prevent dry skin
Well to each their own
I’m sure I may have missed
SOMETHING
but for the most part
this is my
HYGIENE ROUTINE

ps: Always make sure to regularly :
WASH YOUR HANDS !!

Decisions amidst your mind

DRINK                            THINK
FIGHT          MIND.        WRITE
REGRET.                    FORGET

Choices within your heart

LOVE.                               HATE
BEAUTY.      HEART          PAIN
FORGIVER.                  BITTER

What will you decide?  

                     ?

GOOD.       SOUL.           BAD

                      ?

I'm never 100'/,
blame my brain
it's a bad battery

Duck, duck, duck, GOOSE 

PEEK-A-BOO, I see you 

Tag your it

Ring around the rosie 
pocket full of posies 
ashes ashes 
WE ALL FALL DOWN 

Now you see me 
Now you don't 
Hide and Seek

Hocus-Pocus 
Abbra cadabra
Magic trick 

Simon says.... stop
Sit...wait Simon 
didn't say 
GOT U 

I Spy with my 
little eye .....

and the list
goes ON

Child's GAMES 

oh wait can't forget 
PICK UP STICKS 
or
Kick the can.........

THE END

Watered down confidence
Triple shot of emotions
Love pours out
just as quickly as it is
washed down ....draft
Uncertain my true place in life
amidst a big menu
Somedays I’m wanted
other days I’m hated
Some people take me straight
others want just a part of me
I seem to adapt like it’s easy
but deep down inside
I want them to want me
for who I am, the good, bad and
UGLY
This isn’t a pitcher perfect
comparison but I hope you can see the parallels
My glass isn’t always half full
after many years of past pain
Some raise me high and decide
to celebrate making a cheers
Some rely on me to just be their medicine to dilute their fears
I can be average and truly mediocre however not opposed to dressing up , white linen cloths cover the tables, big fancy light fixtures and romantic music .... special occasion
However it seems most want me in the darker form, true hole in the wall, dim lighted , sticky bar amidst others that can make them feel better rather than change
Maybe one day I’ll be beside her and she will see my true value and TOGETHER we will enjoy each others company
TOGETHER, we will both respect one another
TOGETHER, we will not treat each-other like an item and for once we will be doing the ordering TOGETHER, of a life we both desire, TOGETHER
My future love

A night of dancing
At a Mexican bar
Amidst co-workers
And our friends
Everyone having
A hella good time
Dancing on chairs
Forming circles
All taking turns
In the middle
While others
Cheer us on
One last drink
A light conversation
Next thing we knew
We were in a car
Drop top Mazda Miata
Under a star filled sky
The moon demanded
Attention, just like her eyes
Prior to our destination
A late night pit stop
As she pulled over
In that vacant parking lot
My head was already moving
Before she put the car in park
A perfect kiss
under a moonlit sky
Her lips locked into mine
Followed by a perfect drive
Under the dark nights sky
The cool breeze brushed
Against our warm skin
Cooling us both down
From the passion

A   C
  C     E
             P
   👁👁     T   👁👁

Ups and Downs
Rock bottom
Finally at eyesight
With my true self
REFLECTION
"They say, the truth
will set you free"
But I think
The truth can
Hurt far more
Than it helps
A    C                                       N
   C     E                                O
​​​​             P                          -
                T                    E
WHO YOU ARE        V
And try to             O
                         M

The same concert 
that went deadly wrong 
made headlines 
with little to no more 
information than yesterdays 
update from the same incident two days before 
Next up Aaron Rogers 
NFL superstar lied about being vaccinated 
or did he ? He replied I'm immunized in the interview when they asked him a personal question, in front of the whole world. Will he be fined or will Greenbay Packers too and if so how much? or will he be suspended even after he recovers from his positive Covid test, Same questions yet still with no answers on a topic i could really careless. This segment is going on a week 
The Democrats this, the Republicans this, will bills get passed , Biden this, Biden that, his party lost in Virginia but the winner never claimed ties to Trump blah blah blah 
A week ago NFL superstar runningback Henry Ruggs III drove his mid-engine corvette 156 mph and crashed into a young girl in a Rav4 killing her and her dog, they literally burned to death as she was stuck inside the car, a doorman tried to pry her out as all he heard was screams. Headline story every morning with updates on the case and charges he will face
An old shooting, a new shooting, updates on Covid but all these things have one thing in common 
FEAR 
This is why i refuse to watch news, i just cant start a good day off with trauma, fear and guilt.

A whisper heard but not understood,
MY VOICE.

A touch felt but not
known,
MY HAND.

A sight seen but not
familiar,
MY SOUL.

A willing set of ears to listen but not capable,
MY FLAW.

A comforting smell but not
lasting,
MY SCENT.

A beautiful mind but not home to a healthy brain,
MY TRUTH.

Sandstorm 
brown tone 
thin grain 
end-zone 
Phone a friend 
dad-tone 
mad voice 
rejoice now
Disappointed 
love lost 
love gone 
hush *** 
Bad one 
fate picked me 
soft-tone 
who gives a **** 
Not her 
not me 
she will regret 
the lost love 
NOT ME 
I hurt 
I remain 
in pain

When one quits drinking it can be quite hard

Not just from the temptation of the alcohol withdrawals

But from the drinking buddies that you feel the need to avoid

Just like you before, they don’t see you as having a problem

Not that they don’t want to be able to support you

But they don’t want to think that they have a problem too

I will say that’s where I have been pretty lucky

During this battle amidst the troubles I’ve only lost a few

But the majority of my drinking buddies have remained in my
CORNER

I’ll start with my buddy Subconscious for example

He’s been staying strong and keeping his voice to himself

Only speaking up when it gets really tough saying things like

“Don’t give up Rob! You have come so far during this journey !”

Or how about our other good buddy Imagination

Imagination has been helping to be a positive DISTRACTION

Always weighing in with his many thoughts to ease the pain

Giving me support and advice like why take a drink when you can create a write

One of my other drinking buddies that has been a huge help is Memory

He’s not really close friends with Subconscious or Imagination but rather acquaintances

He still has been a big part in my transformation

As Memory always reminds me of the reasons from my personal past that help keep me from desiring another
RELAPSE

He promised me no more drinking and driving down his lane , like we used too

If only our other drinking buddies could be as supportive as these three have been

We all 4 together think sometimes how bad it ***** that we find it hard in our heart to hangout with the other few like :  Kyle, Ralph , Chris and Brandon

But as I get stronger with the support from my other strong friends then maybe one day we can all meet again .....
WITHOUT  TEMPTATION

Shattered glass
lay in pieces
upon the granite
A scarred reflection
erupted with anger
like a volcano
Both hands
covered in blood
Why wont
the voices quit
with the contradiction?
Why cant
you just be content
with who you are?

a world of infinite trees
                all forced to coexist
          each with their own history
branching out from different soils
          procreating more from stemmed roots
a ring inside a ring and so on and so forth
          hundreds of years before and hundreds more to come
                   each new tree resembling the past but also unique in identity
          millions of millions all within the same world living
some more grounded than others naturally
          others with loose roots fall easily
many are dead before born
          it's the unfortunate truth
              all forced to coexist
            a world of infinite trees

12 days ......
may not seem long

12 days ......
I’m still going strong

12 days ......
the longest I’ve ever went

12 days ......
since alcohol has been absent

12 days ......
working hard

12 days ......
choosing to discard

12 days ......
is just the beginning

12 days ......
the start to a pattern ending

A fish in a bowl       / ~ 🐠  ~ ~ \
feels trapped        

Witnessing fish on a screen
swimming freely amidst the sea

Dreaming for the day to come
when he to can swim freely

But for now he swims, within his  bowl lined with pebble rocks

It wasn’t until he seen the human of the house

Put a fish in a pan
then on a plate

That the fish in the bowl
felt grateful compared to the :

Fish on a plate
for he was the main dish

Dear Alcohol,

You were there for every fall, since the day I turned 21
You have always been some1
I truly could count on
When others let me down
Or truly just didn’t care
You were just a call away
No matter the time or day
Wether a bad memory from
my childhood past
Or an argument with my
current or last love
Whenever they didn’t
see eye to eye with me
You always had my back
Helping me to dilute the pain
Of suppressed feelings of
thinking I was unwanted
You have matched ounce for ounce every single tear over the years, I have ever poured out
You have never judged nor have you ever turned your back
You accept me for me regardless my past
So for that reason you have always been in season
You have been a crutch I’ve felt I needed throughout this journey called life
This breaks my heart to say this
but I only want what is best for myself, call me selfish but I can’t keep remaining your
ACQUAINTANCE
The truth is you’re just not any GOOD FOR ME , but that doesn’t mean I hate you
Nor do I blame you
For I am an adult and have always had a choice
It turns out all the relief you have provided, I now see as I get older is only a temporarily band-aid and I want the relief that will last a LIFETIME
Not just a quick fix that in time leaves me more broken
So for this reason I realize
that it is you that MUST GO
This isn’t just an idea that I’ll change my mind on
Nor is this a part-time feeling
but rather a quick, precise and firm decision to cut you totally
OFF, We can’t even visit
even if just for a minute because we both know that’ll lead to hours and within a day or night I’ll relapse back to the stage of an unhealthy version of myself , I hope you can forgive me but if not
I totally understand and realize you are entitled to your opinion but I know in my heart
I MUST MOVE ON !

Sincerely ,
Robert  J Grove

Well back in the day....
we were mandated to wear 
diapers on our heads

To the degree of mastery
no college
forget the
masters degree
A bachelor amongst
associates
life is just time
How do you spend it
who gives a ****
what you got
Please tell me how
YOU FEEL
is it all a dream ?
is it relevant you care ?
Or are you afraid
living week to week
a never ending
NIGHTMARE
Yeah I have my faults
my insecurities are real
But I vent those out
on here so they can’t be near
MY TIME
I spend it well
I live life to the fullest
I rise up slowly but surely
with my friends and loved ones
on my back
RELIABLE
I rather be eye level
with my peers
than looked up on
I hate looking down
on someone
REGARDLESS
Last week was Pennsylvania
this week Michigan
Next week 8 days off
before going to Ohio
I love my job
because I get to
TRAVEL
I love my job
because I get to
take multiple weeks off
Money can’t buy happiness
but it’s a good down-payment
TRUTHFULLY
I got the job, I got a car, I got a camper, I got a truck, I got a couple tractors, I owe nothing to no one, so someone please tell me why I can’t be happy?
I don’t have bills I have titles, I don’t live check to check but rather wreckless, life of the party, I’m the hostess, I create environments second to none, my main focus to create
a good time
I may not spend it wisely
but I spend it good
bonfires, cookouts, parties
If the mood is good
then better believe
it was on purpose
Mr know it all
they call me
not because I’m arrogant
but rather they know
every variable
that could go wrong
I thought about
amongst my plans
1-2-3 and A-B-C
i got a solution
for problems
that may never
SURFACE

Biden my nails in frustration, sick to my stomach at the recent news.
If only we had a leader Putin his foot down, we could've avoided the noose.

Captive to words 
you think 
you speak 
you write 
you read 
Captive to words 
you hear
you retrieve
you see
you believe 
Captive to words 
the thoughts become 
persuasive
the voices become 
familiar 
the writings become 
non-fiction
the readings become 
feelings 
Captive to words 
the sounds become
damaging 
the fostering becomes 
comforting 
the visions become 
naturally 
the beliefs become 
reality 
VICTIM TO WORDS

Premeditated
the words
like hollow point bullets
firing from
a mouth fueled with
hate and anger
******
she wrote
wounds all over
blood pouring
as my brain instantly
reloads the chamber
Regret
I felt
blood on my hands
remorse pouring
as my emotions instantly
recover from anger
Dead
she's gone
never to come back
she's dead
I killed her
Soul

My brain Medusa
no snakes
just chains
holding me back
latching on and forming bonds with other vices
chemistry kicks in and I’m the host to a really bad experiment
LAB-RAT
As other insecurities are drawn in with permanent marker
INK
Morals get lost amidst the combination of bottled up frustration as every thought a result from combustion, anger erupted as words come out with formed conclusions like an involuntary movement
BRAINWASHED
A life spawned from a web of lies, all a result from lack of control over my own thoughts the cost is not just that of my own blood but also the loved ones that I formed into victims
GET HELP
Mental Health Awareness

Before and after
The fake laughter
Never noticed
Surrounded by doubt
She sees that within him
She knows his past
She knows what she wants
She lives in the moment
She saw through the fear
Energies collide
Passion never questioned
But what we want
Isn't always in our time
Lost in those moments
Lost in her eyes
I would gladly
Give the rest of my life
To relive those 60 seconds
Knowing my last moment
I spent breathing
Was looking into
Her knowing eyes
Away from judgement
Before and after
The fake laughter
Before the inevitable pain

Forecast calls for ?
Brainstorm
Topic choice
dark humor
Said the weatherman

With a chance of ?
thought cloud
wait for it
Punchline
heavy winds

On and off
light switch
brain showers
random thoughts
grab your umbrellas

If I had a dollar
for every time
the weatherman
was wrong
Well , I’d be rich
sometimes I think
he forgets, who is
in charge

It’s the big guy
upstairs holding the phone
as this is, his write
Poet God
well not really
but it sounded good

As the blue lights
from the television
keep the eyes lit
that are heavy
from a long day
COMMERCIAL
ADVERTISING
replies keep them up

Something is on your mind
you can’t quite place it
if only you could
but every other distraction
and you forget about it
but deep inside the pain
is still ticking
Marco ...... the call goes
unnoticed , if only it was
that easy but no Polo
to point it out

What’s wrong
your significant other asks
as you’re lost in the show
before answering
you think to yourself
why ask now
instead of during the
COMMERCIALS

Snap back from that thought cloud and answer
“nothing dear”
you sure ? “Uh huh”
meanwhile amidst your mind
a pinball machine
of stress from A through Z
isn’t it obvious if they ask
“ you sure ?” then they know
SOMETHINGS WRONG

Im just gonna go to bed !
you get up , they shake
their head AKWARD
yeah being single
isn’t so bad after all

Wake up in a sweat
info commercial advertising
cha cha chia pet
with clay dish
3 payments of
$9.95 , it was a dream
thank God
but then you hear
“what’s wrong dear”
you look to your side
and SCREAM ... NOOOO!
It’s your life After-all

..................HoRRoR
         GONE
                 AGONY
          FEAR
                 TEARS
        TOMB
                 REALITY
         LOVE
                 AFFAIRS
         TOOK

HEARTBREAK HoRRoR
 GONE, her presence replaced with AGONY and FEAR, TEARS pouring out ever since, My heart remains hers in HEARTBREAK HoRRoR's TOMB, The REALITY is: She really loved me but her LOVE wasn't enough to conquer my neglected past AFFAIRS,
HEARTBREAK HoRRoR TOOK my LOVE

Spring mind
Summer soul
Fall heart
Winter eyes

My visions appear cold
as feelings change colors
and start to fall apart
becoming bare...

My soul attempts to nurture the darkness, with warmth, feeding needed hope...

My mind a constant source of new life as it decides between the cold and warmth...