Forever together, forever apart.

Forever desired, forever missed.

       "Nothing is forever, for this life is not eternal but for as long as I live, you will be mortally missed!"

The stars in the sky 
Are as beautiful as you
The eyes that can see 

For the eyes that can't 
Forever rest in peace with
The stars in the sky 

For the eyes that can 
Enjoy the wonderful view 
Keep your head held high 

The stars in the sky 
Are as beautiful as you 
Regardless your pain 

For the eyes that hurt 
Forever rest in peace with 
The eyes that can't see 

For the eyes that can't 
Rest in peace without hurting
With stars in the sky

One centimeter 
the difference 
Between life 
and death 

One second 
the difference 
Between life 
and death

One decision 
the difference 
Between life 
and death 

One bullet 
one gun 
One trigger 
one centimeter 

One person 
one mind 
One heart 
one finger 

Millions affected 
from one
One variable 
affects many

Raised to be someone else,
forced to focus on everyone else.

Now you're finally free from everybody, but who are you?

You must find yourself first, to become who it is YOU ARE!

A life spent pretending to be someone you aren't, isn't a life. 

You must find happiness within your true-self, to find inner peace 


      "The bitterness from the past will.   continously cloud all future sunshine,
      until you make a new forecast."

Because I’m not happy 
you never will be 

Because I have insecurities 
I will point out your flaws 

Because my past is frightening 
our future together will be too 

Because I was scared 
I will continue to scare you 

Because I deserved better 
you will always deserve better 

Because I’m the product 
you will never reach the solution 

Because I love you 
I will never let you go 

Because I told you this 
you have moved on 

Because you moved on 
I decided to get help 

Because I got help 
I have started to grow 

Because you loved me 
I felt the need to change 

Because it killed me to hurt you 
you know it did wholeheartedly 

Because we both knew 
I never did it intentionally 

Because I was a victim 
to some bad patterns 

Because you fought me 
I was able to break free 

Because you loved me 
you helped me to change

A Rubiks Cube 
traveling 1100 mph
​​​colliding against 
A deck of cards
laying face up 
fully exposed

A humans soul 
many sides
very colorful 
A humans soul 
many suits
very unpredictable 

A Rubiks Cube
traveling 1100 mph
colliding against 
A deck of cards 
laying face down 
fully hidden 

A humans soul 
many faces
very dark 
A humans soul 
many numbers 
very predictable

Timing in life is 
EVERYTHING
Lining my life up 
CONTINUOSLY 
******* my life away
OCCASIONALLY 
Life is all timing 
EVERYTIME
Life lines up 
CONTRADICTION 
Life ****** on me
OCCASIONALLY

Habitat to bad habits, habitually harvesting bad moments, helplessly in need of heroics, hopefully soon as these heights in which I suffer up to are humiliating my humanity, hindering my happiness and ******* with my head! I'm only human and cannot help the hidden agendas of this heartless world!

Let the danger come!
I'll gladly avoid it all.
I am not afraid!

King to Queen,
peasant to peasant,
I prefer "excuse me miss"
"I beg your pardon sir" she replies
Not really but somewhere between any of these is really fine, nothing special necessary for the gEnUiNe, good energy trumps all. EnErGiZe Me, eliminate gravity and raise me Up! Floating thin air, dare to care, fair? Nah this life never wasn't but the players couldn't be more uneven talent. All walks of life with bad past and bad present. Where's the gift, do I deserve to live? I complain about heartbreak but if I could avoid it, I would complain too! She took me to becoming whole from thousands of pieces and then took me from whole and split me into two,  she was the glue that made me glued, she was the adhesion goo gone too that separated all the seems she had sewn and sealed! BrOkEn I rEmAiN!

Turn me on like a light switch, turn me off when I'm off, I'll be on with your touch

I gave up the baggage, I quit making excuses, I gave up the bottle, I'm hitting motivation full throttle and only seeking answers! 8 months strong I cannot do anything wrong, I'm collecting and erecting titles and deeds, just signed on the closing of the third property, this is who I always was but never who was seen! I'm making big moves and it feels good to have the strength, power and courage to do so! It's all just raw talent but until I lost all from the fall I could never stand tall and fearful, the confidence I have now is what I should've  been instilled with, if I had competent parents but let's not focus on the past because I decided already it wouldn't be the last to decide or hide the real me! Started with nothing in 2021 but a broken heart now it's the beginning of 2022 and I have more things to be proud of than things to not be, free is how I finally feel and the difference is the concept and mindset of: nothing seeming possible to the possibilities seeming endless, they started my life as a crime scene but I'm living it like a prayer answered, there's no limit to my self-growth or ability to become someone that should've never been a survivor but:



"I refused to be a lifelong victim, it's just not in my DNA regardless my bloodline. I refuse to be a justification to a bad statistic regardless how unrealistic that seems. The father in me that was born from teenage pregnancy rather than a man becoming a parent to me decided that its time to " MAN THE **** UP" and provide for the rest of the children to come!"

Be optimistic, the bottle is half full. I cannot stay positive! I know I will finish it all and when it's gone so are my morals and values too! The glass isn't half full, my troubles are halfway here! That's the real life answer!

You're so smart, you know it all! Every question in life, you provide a quick answer for everytime. Do this for me, just one time! Think about living a life that requires no response....... A life lived where every single decision is obviously justified! Think about that, just for one time! That's when you hit the jackpot you're living a good life! Time invested to others thoughts, just aren't necessary nor are they scary because the decisions are right! The kind of life where karna is multiplied and not divided, the kind of life that makes you proud to lead and live! The kind of moral compass that never leads to feeling threatened!  That's the kind of thoughts I'm having, those are the kind of decisions I'm making and no mistaking these feelings that back them..........ever!
Because they are real!

The heart wants what it wants but the brain is calling the shots, the mind is pulling the strings. The past pain dictates the subconscious and what it deems safe, the foundation for all decisions made.
All I can say is please learn from your mistakes, how many must be lost before we realize the cost of our unhealthy thoughts?...How many? Among many from the past, she stood out the most! She was the one that I wish I could have back but the heart took the backseat to the brain and all the illusions it made. A dangerous game our minds can play when we don't fix ourselves after being hurt, a dangerous game indeed!

Differences attracted us, differences distracted us. Differences created us, differences defeated us.

Working really hard now, so I can become a *** later .

Do not think twice,  predicate, adjective. adverb and Proper Noun, I got this! I'll just be myself and provide it ALL!

Tired, of what? 
Frustrated too......
What's a man supposed to do, who am I? 
Greed, it makes me sick, it makes me work, it makes me take, take,, take......time, love and stress! 
Driven and fueled by lack of structure from the past, at last I can become someone that creates wealth for the future ones...... Yes I can but the time I'll never get back, sacrifice life with loved ones for loved ones life's to strive! 

Tired of living to survive, frustrated I have to rewrite the bloodline, I'm the guy for the job...  that's who I ******* am! 
Greed cures the sickness it provides through the confident eyes of comfortable loved ones, they wont have to have these problems or contradictions to distract themselves because I'm choosing them over us!

Scary came near but then ran scared, not them but me from their temptation, I'm free from myself, free..freee...freeee.....
Up in the clouds away from society, societyee..soicietyeee...

She was my love 
so now she is loved 

She used to be my future 
so now she is my past 

The only part I wish 
I could still have back 

She! Yes her, my true love
the only one I still grasp

Four score and seven years ago..........Who really knows what happened? History books teach us what the Government wants, CoNvEnIeNtLy! Four score and seven years from now.........They will continue to do the same!

Poverty prevents greed, says the hungry. Greed prevents poverty, says the fed.

Abused, confused, infused with bad love

At hands, with words
From effect, from cause 
Loved ones, the world 

Regrets, threats, lets just give up 

My hands, my words
My effect, my cause
My love, the world 

"I've become what it is that I feared, I remained the same as the ones with fake love."

Mirror, mirror in the ground shattered to pieces, please just tell me this......Will my family and I be okay, mum and dad are nowhere to be found and my little brother cries in pain. Please, just please tell me everything will be okay, our family and home is as broken as you but I still see my reflection.

Pick me up 
after 
Letting me down 
before 
Promising your love 
after 
Gaining my trust 
before 
Sharing your thoughts 
after 
Asking me out 
before 
Our eyes met 
after 
That random night 
before 
We made out
after 
Falling in love
before 
The future pain 
after 
We broke up

Mated to separated 

Interested to un

I do to I don't 

Passion to passing 

Forever to never 

Star crossed to scar 

In love to love lost 

Together to gone 

Remain to de 

Two became to one 

Missed to missing 

Forgotten to forget 

Threat to regret 

In-between is by far,
what I enjoyed the most

After the love 
and before the pain 

Between my arms 
and between yours too

But that was then 
and this is now

Reminiscing to reality 

Eventually I'll face, 
the stone cold truth 

Eventually my love

Sincerely, your past flame

Find faith in what it takes to forever evolve, to forever change, to forever break the bad patterns and with no mistake maintain the belief you forever will lead and not be tempted to fall astray from what it is you need and seek.

Relevance is like leftovers, the difference in one day can make all the DIFFERENCE. So eat it up while it's still good otherwise toss it.

Biden my nails in frustration, sick to my stomach at the recent news.
If only we had a leader Putin his foot down, we could've avoided the noose.

Scars scare the far fares of those who sight what only they see. Shallow intrigue these that believe, for one may be strucken with grief infinitely from false imagery. When labeled and condemned biasly from strictly physicality, one may just become the projection of those that seek to judge.

Depressing thoughts cost your life years, the Doctors re-asks " you're taking your pills?"

Depression results paid in full with time, the coroner's results" death caused by the cure!"

It is me, yes it is I.
The guy expected to fail,
the man that will continue to try.
For my life, yes for my love.
Two variables that continue to
consistently let me down. 

It is me, yes it is I.
The guy expected to fall,
the man that will continue to get up.
For my life, yes for my love.
Two variables that continue to
continuously pick me up!

I'm not sure how to explain what it is that caused the pain. I know the past has caused damage to my developing brain, what is right and wrong may have been blurred. She opened eyes that were closed and SCREAMED ******* LOOK! For once I finally saw, for once I finally witnessed, for once I became what it is I hated! Since then she's been gone, since then I haven't quit regretting, for I know I'm the cause! Born to an environment that demands pain, raised in an environment that maintains the birth, with no recollection or memory of something that resembles love! It's the ******* TRUTH!

Piece of mind within 
Dedicated to create 
An escape to peace

What's been said has been heard, what's been done has been did. What's been us has been you! 
Blame me and I'll take blame,
Hell! I blame myself too.
We're still apart today,
tomorrow we will be too!
I'll still be okay, or so I say.
I'll still be in pain but that's always been the case.
I cannot Mentally accept the lost love is lost because in my mind it has or never was! I love with all I have and all I got, whether you accept that love or not, I willing cannot shut it off, You are, were, was and still are the one I do, did, want and will still love! Yes you are my dear, you are the one.

Hugs and kisses 
accept our differences
Rockets and missiles
accept your decisions 
Love can conquer all 
but so can hate too

You crane 
Pole and
Rush a
Chin a
Your up
Us a 
Come on 
Denom in at ors
Let ors 
Con son ants 
An duh
Vow else 

So it seems 
we all bleed 
We all fear
we all exist

We ALL are 
Letters in the same 
Alpha bets

I'm the bad apple 
judge what you don't understand 
I'm that ******* guy

Sandstorm 
brown tone 
thin grain 
end-zone 
Phone a friend 
dad-tone 
mad voice 
rejoice now
Disappointed 
love lost 
love gone 
hush *** 
Bad one 
fate picked me 
soft-tone 
who gives a **** 
Not her 
not me 
she will regret 
the lost love 
NOT ME 
I hurt 
I remain 
in pain

I loved everyone 
until I was born 
Then I hated most
anger was born 
From the loss 
of the love 
It wasn't me 
it was always them 
But it was me 
that had to change 
Thank God I did 
thank them for it 
It wasn't me 
it wasn't him

I grasped life firmly,
but what is left to live for?
She destroyed my heart!

Anyone can be born but very few are raised!

Second to none? 
First to all?
Overstated!
Nah, I just want to be seen!
I just want to be heard!

By who?
For what?
Undecided!
Nah, I'll just remain unnoticed!
I just miss having someone!

Second to her,
first to her!
Contradiction!
Yeah, she just wanted loved.
I just messed things up. 

It was me,
​​​​it was her.
Reality!
We were just young, 
we were just immature!

I grasped life firmly,
but what is left to live for?
She destroyed my heart!

I'm a stranger to the best version of me but I think he will look familiar, when I see him.

Truth was spoken 
honesty was shared 
Feelings were hurt 
damage was done

I desire affection 
I crave insecurities 
I want her attention 
I need solidarity 
I, need...... her,
next to me.
Please 
right
now

Forever is never 
from then until now
From now until then
make the best of it 
Our days are numbered 
time is forever limited

Druggy illegal under the table not from behind the counter, does it make a difference? Regardless a prescription they all can become addictive, they all can make you dependent.