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77 · Oct 2021
Taste
Rebecca Oct 2021
Fullness bloomed on my tongue.
Filling my person with a newfound purpose.
Never knowing that life could feel so free.
So open, so many possibilities.
Then melted no longer strong.
Needed another taste once again
To see the purpose
To understand my future.
To acknowledge my past.
The taste was needed to open the possibilities.
Never again would life move forward without
the memory of that first taste.
Others would never be the same.
Quest in life remained for the sensation
of the first fullness.
77 · Apr 2021
Just One Time
Rebecca Apr 2021
Just one time.
Never again.
But allow it once.
Forgive me, God.
Maybe one more time.
My soul is weak.
I can't seem to stop-
Humble human that I am--
Forgive me that I am.
76 · May 2021
Tremble
Rebecca May 2021
I see it.
Your face shows.
It is not the same.
I miss what was.
How did it leave you.
It is so vivid for me.
My heart trembles with the loss,.
I see it by the way you hold your chin.
So I drink more champagne.
No, I don't want food.
So, it is over.
My heart trembles with loss
As you eat a chicken tender.
76 · Oct 2021
Fruit of Intuition
Rebecca Oct 2021
Deep feeling in stomach's pit;
Growing with suspicion;
Knowing it is so;
Without actually seeing;
Faith in the goosebumps
of knowledge rising on my arm;
Because it is so;
Lick my lips;
Push back at the thought;
Only to have it surface again and again.
Ever growing, ever knowing.
76 · Aug 2021
Wistful
Rebecca Aug 2021
Birds sang outside the window;
Sun started to fill the room.
Urge led to shame.
What seemed easy in the dark,
seemed wrong in light.
Wrong choice.
Wrong one.
Take it all back.
Wrong morning.
Picking up the scattered pieces.
No evidence to tell.
Tight lip departure.
Close that door.
76 · Apr 2021
Fruit of Eden
Rebecca Apr 2021
They made a choice
Sweetest Choice.
They went astray
Against the word.
They made a choice
Free Will.
They went astray
Against the ease.
They made a choice
Their own desire.
They went astray
Against the bond.
They made a choice
Deepest Shame.
They went astray
Against their God.
76 · Nov 2021
These Times
Rebecca Nov 2021
Things aren't always happy;
Tidy up the troubles;
Grateful for the good;
A loneliness in the crowd;
Wondering about place at life's table;
Surrounded by loved ones;
But feeling no attachment;
Others have so much to do;
Lost in chores;
Sweeping away thoughts of grief;
Searching for a reason;
Needing to appreciate where I am;
What I have done;
I just don't feel done.
76 · Feb 2024
Clean
Rebecca Feb 2024
Not a drop
of unwieldy emotion.
Tidy with even thought.
A story carefully mixed
with compliments to
cover complications.
Bleached of unpleasant
memories.
Spread in even bits to cover
clumps of sorrow.
Fresh with untangled tales.
Meant to show the strength
of blessings.
Clean for the public.
Ladylike and kind.
76 · Oct 2021
Big Moon Night
Rebecca Oct 2021
Those evenings with gentle breezes.
Walking down the road.
Loving the freedom of the night.
Under the big harvest moon,
Not scared of the spooky notions
hiding in the shadows.
No **** clowns out this lit night.
Stars are singing to moon
with twinkling songs.
Spread out the blanket beneath
the moon and stars.
Tomorrow's worries are tossed
in the leaves which gently scatter.
Tonight is the big moon night.
76 · May 2021
Tangle
Rebecca May 2021
My arm across the chest of most loved.
His head back against the pillow.
His eyes shut in hushed rest.
My cheek rests next to his.
Blindly, he bushes my hair from my face and his.
My leg tossed across his pelvis
Room darkened but with glow of spent.
Time stands still with love shared.
I kiss tender his shoulder.
Not wanting to surrender the piece of together.
Not a time to think how much longer
A life built together.
He raises his hand and brushes the sleep from his eyes.
Releasing me and rising from his rest.
The close is finished for today.
Back to chores and everyday.
My sweetest love, my joy in life.
75 · Oct 2021
Shut Down
Rebecca Oct 2021
Pull back,
Pull in,
Sink down,
Drown beneath,
Fear of future,
Evil fog rising,
To cover good.

Two sides
Neither so far.
Split by
Nonsense.
Spent by all.
Evil fog gliding
To cover the masses.

Spirit fled.
No more resources.
For a land so rich
Uncomprehending
Shutting down.
Command economy.
Evil fog lays waste
to profit.
75 · Feb 2024
Planned
Rebecca Feb 2024
Best to choose less.
Be a bit detached.
Scale your options.
Search the best.
Let the words be choice.
Marinate the tongue.
Let anxiety be your guide.
75 · Dec 2021
Spice Party
Rebecca Dec 2021
Cinnamon and nutmeg dance in the kitchen;
Ginger and orange spring about the party.
The scents of holiday flood
and tumble past the kitchen.
Snowy clouds billow as the warmth
inside the house grows and glows.
Hearts are filled with thoughts of past
and candied future hopes.
The spice party glides and mixes with the mood.
Holiday punch to cover bitter thoughts.
74 · Feb 2024
I Wouldn’t
Rebecca Feb 2024
Not passing judgment.
Wouldn’t mention it-
But for,
Someone probably should.
Not my life-
Just anybody can see!
Should you do it?
Yes, just because you doubt.
73 · Jan 2022
Tropics
Rebecca Jan 2022
Tip my sunglasses;
Skim my hand across the blue;
Warm coconut bakes me;
The pages stick to my skin
Translucent with oil and water.
Print smears me.
A good book unread;
A good story unknown;
Lazy, hazy give a care.
Lost on a golden day.
72 · Aug 2021
Last Time
Rebecca Aug 2021
Didn't share the last meal;
Left the room with a smile;
Should have been a long hug;
Should have said how much
I cared, not just a smile;
To recapture and relive
to perfection a chance missed;
I will always feel sorrow;
I would have sat for that hour;
I would have had that chat;
But you felt tired;
You did not feel well;
You were in the midst of leaving;
That last day, I could have done more;
I could have shown how much
I felt, but now regret, my lost moment.
I await the promise of a later date
when I will make amends.
72 · Feb 2022
Triple Threat
Rebecca Feb 2022
There you are.
Misdirected part of life.
You glide into demons.
Smile with lack of concern.
Tight smile, the sign.
You dance with reckless move;
You sing maniac thoughts;
You act with disregard.
Triple threat ******.
Release me from your show.
72 · Jul 2021
Weak
Rebecca Jul 2021
Sit in a pile.
Breathless and forward leaning.
Head bowed with thought.
Opportunity for quiet prayer.
No movement, just thought.
To be weak is to think.
72 · Apr 2022
Take Off
Rebecca Apr 2022
Draped with the knowledge
That it is coming to an end;
Dipping beneath the glowing
Gaze that follows me.
Want to shake loose
and wriggle free.
Take off.
Take your chips.
Give me mine.
Games over.
No more tiny slices.
No more twisting knots.
Take off.
Love someone else.
Leave me be.
No feelings left.
Just bitter taste.
Spit it out.
Take off.
71 · Apr 2021
Move From the Spot
Rebecca Apr 2021
You  sit entrenched
Unwilling listener
I challenge every thought
No black and white
The world is total Grey
You shake your head and take a sip
Not your taste
You sit alone today.
71 · Apr 2021
Monster
Rebecca Apr 2021
It grabbed my mother.
When will it seize me?
Will it take my daughter?
Will my son go scot-free?
When will thought escape me?
My memories be surrendered?
No more plan.
No more focus.
Just a life forgotten.
71 · May 2021
CROWD
Rebecca May 2021
The elevator is full.
Everyone is looking up
As if it will move faster
By straining necks.
Eyes only meeting as doors open.
Courtesy reigns.
Strangers remain strangers.
Holding doors and pushing buttons
On command.
Politeness in a busy day.
The elevator is a lesson.
Ordered compromise of strangers
Each trying to go his or her own way
Trapped together for the ride.
Maybe I'll take the steps.
70 · Apr 2021
Reflections
Rebecca Apr 2021
They are my reflections,
and I am theirs.
They share my losses.
They share my gains.
Share grief.
Share history.
My turtle heart no mystery
to my reflections
who are not quite the same,
but so similar.
They know the unspoken.
People mistake us for each other-
something we don't quite see.
They are my biggest competition
and biggest advocates.
I am one of three.
70 · Sep 2021
Whiskey
Rebecca Sep 2021
Dark outside with a lamp above.
Moths bouncing against the screen.
Last of summer pushed with a gentle chill.
Lean against the kitchen sink
in front of the window
Smelling the heavy musk of fall death and
the smoke of the fire pit outside.
Clearing up the supper plates.
Sipping at a deep brown whiskey
chilled by cube of ice.
Listening to the mellow Rock of eighties.
Washing dinner dishes not a chore
But a religion of reflection.
69 · Apr 2021
Not a BFF
Rebecca Apr 2021
Not a friend, not a BFF, just a mom
Forgotten role,
A role unclaimed.
Don't stash your ***.
No *** in the hall.
I'm thirteen, you, the mom.
Be my example
Act like you care.
Don't hit me in the face.
Don't compete with me
I am just a kid
I hit you because you hit me.
Let me go to grandma's house.
You don't care.
69 · Apr 2021
Had To See
Rebecca Apr 2021
I went back to town
I had to see
Did he want me?
He had said how bout lunch
I went back to town
Beginning or end
I had to see
Heart wide open
Ready to fall
Picked up my phone
I made the call
69 · Dec 2021
Pee Test
Rebecca Dec 2021
You knew it was gonna happen;
You could have been clean for this one day;
Why am I standing here beside you?
All it took was this one month out of six.
Your parents spent so much money and hope.
Couldn't you have faked it just a little?
You fake caring and saying you are going to stop.
You fake giving a ****.
You fake looking for jobs
When all you really do is fish and hunt.
You carry a gun and can't pass a *** test.
Joy and bliss for you isn't worth a ****.
68 · Apr 2021
Untitled
Rebecca Apr 2021
*****
Under
In
Crestfallen
Indigo
Dreams
Eternal
68 · Jun 2021
Unlucky Choice
Rebecca Jun 2021
Long story.
With emphasis and detail.
Just the right amount of feeling.
Never meet my eye.
Your sister calls it
Your lying face.
Your chin is stiff.
So caught.
Even you forget
What is truth and
What is fib.
At the end our eyes meet.
You see it.
Disappointment floods.
You know it.
Yet, the step is from me
Not the story.
No more chance.
Just regret.
Done and made, the choice.
Unlucky, you say.
With so much thought,
not truly luck,
Just a choice.
68 · Jun 2021
Disguise
Rebecca Jun 2021
I crawl inside your life,
Take it as my own.
Tailor it to my needs.
Walk back in forth before the mirror.
Move into public.
Let the people see
Then, once home, I carefully remove
Place it on the hanger
No longer heavy on my shoulders.
Your burden awaits you.
The closet closed.
Your garment, my disguise.
67 · Oct 2021
Not Me
Rebecca Oct 2021
Don't know the time.
Tremble with the line.
Fate is a freight.
No makeup to be had.
Leave me out.
No responsibility.
Don't hold out your hand.
Will not follow.
Hide in darkness.
Never know the answer.
Reason flees me.
Need no assistance.
Coping by myself.
66 · Apr 2021
Spring
Rebecca Apr 2021
He lives above me
My crush
Three years going still
I blush
Soon to move
Green lawns lush
Out one night, it happened
I rest my head on his shoulder
He grabbed my hand
Then I knew,
No need to rush
Three years gone
How much more with three days left
Goodnight, my dear crush
65 · Jun 2021
Empty
Rebecca Jun 2021
The days are long.
The nights plain.
Unwilling to explore.
Restrained by grief.
Nothing to hold near
Except the thoughts of past.
Past remains deep inside.
Never again to be whole.
Left to be just me.
64 · Jul 2021
His Notice
Rebecca Jul 2021
Not once, but twice.
It is drawn back.
Redirected and swung forth.
Hitting the target,
He takes a step back
To gaze at the hole left.
His notice given.
His aim taken.
His whim fulfilled.
Nothing but a blank open.
Left alone to contemplate
What should have been.
64 · Apr 2021
Mellow
Rebecca Apr 2021
I grew mellow;
I grew not to care;
I tossed my thoughts;
I gave a stare;
It stared back;
Ate me whole;
My green went yellow;
Fear took hold;
I gathered pride;
I await next tide
When I feel mellow.
62 · Apr 2021
Why
Rebecca Apr 2021
Why
I asked my sister for her words.
The only word she had, why?
I told her, she had more.
She shook her head, why?

I told her to write from her heart.
Her only word why?
It feels good to share.
She stared at me blankly "Why?"

I grabbed her hand and placed my pen.
Again she shook her head, "Why?"
She saw my frustration and took the pen.
She wrote her poem:

Why am I doing this?
She made me, that's why.
No better, no worse,
I've nothing to share, why?
61 · Mar 2021
Life is Sorry Short
Rebecca Mar 2021
Life is sorry short
As a child to watch
to never speak;
As a wife to obey
always be meek;
As a caretaker
eyes never leak;
At death,
leave the bleak.
A woman's life is
sorry short.
57 · Apr 2021
Mother's Intuition
Rebecca Apr 2021
She brought him home.
His smile was easy.
His words were free.
Her face lit with his empty words.
Didn't she see?
He's married.
Has two kids.
Left his wife.
No divorce.
Let him go.
He is no good.
No happily ever.
Mom says, "Love born wrong.
Leave him be."
54 · May 2021
Walk Softly
Rebecca May 2021
Know your place
Step away
Too much shows a lacking
Of the one who should have known better
Walk softly
The one lacking is crowded
Love of village is never
What mother seeks
Mother wants no threat
Step softly with others kids
Know your place
Step softly in your place
Love with proper distance

— The End —