It swoops about me;
I catch what should
be caught
Dropping a few:
I push away
What can wait.
I reach with eager hands
Life’s great blessings.
To live the mix of
Good and bad.

Wake up light.
No real reason.
A leisurely stretch.
Rolling into a full day
with energy and wit.
Sun just right.
Nothing wrong.
Just right.
Tummy - a little flat.
Well almost flat.
Think good thoughts.
Say good prayers.
Move with care and
Thanks for such a day.

Three a. m.  I  went outside.
Full moon lighting night
Wind blowing in the new spring leaves
Dancing along wood's edge.
Unknown blessing in my path.
Alone with God,
Yet feeling the presence of another.
The night sounds warning of impending loss
The leaving of my father
As he traveled to eternal.
The wind was his gentle touch as he left the earth
Gently brushing my hair.
'Thanks, daddy, for the visit.'

It is a sickness.
Words pour from me
Truth and fantasy
Since a child.
I have a writing disorder.
People run for fear I'll share.

When in the fever, it spills from me
on napkins and paper bags.
It surrounds me.
It drowns me.

The disorder seizes me.
Words written in lost notebooks
long forgotten.
The writings disappear, but the sickness
never goes.

Uncontrollably, as green in May,
words spread over me.

Walk away.
My eyes are dry,
but I feel the strain.
I want to stay.
I want to give one more chance.
So sure of change.
My heart leaks the grief.
Not as pretty as a broken heart.
Messy spill of feelings.
So many tries.
Takes more than me.
My eyes are dry.
My leaking heart
Will have to mend.

I can't take another step
To tote your pain and mine.
You say that
You don't want to be here
Nor do I.
No future for you.
I can't take another step.
I can't carry your burden and mine.
You don't really want to go.
I don't know how to help.
I love you.
It is my turn.
I will take another step.

Rush by with ease;
Make a hasty move;
What were you thinking?
Letting the shine across
the lawn in dewy night.
No quiet can hide.
Turn it out.
Go to bed.
Leave it alone.
Pretend it's unknown.
Never admit sin still done.

The mist on the face;
Morning bright is hidden;
Fresh salty breeze covers the day;
Thoughts fog the morning walk.
Deep breath to move forward
away from anxious nags of
yesterday's problems.
Tumbling down the path of
lists to do.
Considering life's blessings
and gentle meditation.
Walking forward and counting steps.
Loudly silent.

Sink to the bottom;
Blues, green
Away from the shallow;
No more hallow;
Feeling the full weight
Of the deepest part.
Life of a mermaid
My tail beating against
The bottom forcing sand
To cover the depth.
Let me rest in deep.
No answers to be had.
Just rest for my weary self.

Seems like a day to wash away scares;
Seems like a day to relieve cares;
Seems like a day to drift on clouds;
Seems like a possibility;
Just to be, to behave without despair.
A cooling, resting , no care December day.

Never let go.
Just a sip of strong.
Left to my own.
What was the test?
Must not confess.
Keep it covered.
Who will know?
Felt that way.
Too shy to own.
No regret for then.
Was it just selfish.
Was it for purpose.
But, now-
My own private wrong.

Days under the pull;
Moon tugging at my soul;
Pulling me further away;
Dazzling nothing;
Coolness in the heat of rush;
Deep solitude sweeps around;
With the lush quiet of calm.

Today is empty.
Nothing in my heart.
No brew of emotion.
Love seems lost.
Waiting for a toss
of sweet gentle feeling
in my path.
So even.
Next week will bring a wave.
But nothing now.
Might as well sleep
as write.

Don't you think he would know better;
Disappears for a while;
Hums with afterburn
Upon return;
Her, older and married;
Him, youthful and dense;
Yet she continues to bait;
He continues to travel;
As it all unravels.
Cursed with longing
That's just deception.
Unreal in the real.
Only good in the steal.

Just a tad off
Not the new
A little too knowing
Not shiny
Just a little funk
Outdone
Out shown
Capable but aware
Off putting with stare
Reliable but expected

Simple start.
Neither yes nor no.
Just wasting time.
Indifferent experimentation.
Tempting time with sensation.
Sinking under the gentle pull.
Excitement builds -
Breathe catches
Given time no becomes yes.

The whiff of smoke.
The unforgettable notes of songs
Sweetly in my ear.
The color of those caring downcast eyes
reflected in the stormy sky.
Creased love letters and dried flowers
The smell in summer evening air.
Scraps of past.
Dreaming with what is left
since my one has left.

Sometimes life just smooths past.
All is set on the perfect course.
Nothing falls in awkward direction.
Humor runs from the corners like honey.
Love twists about with satisfaction.
To be charmed with such days is
To also know the wrong.
Life's trials make the charmed days
More intensely felt.

You are my post.
The stake in the dungeon
About which I circle.
No freedom.
I understand Bothwell’s dilemma.
Chained like a dog to insanity.

Always elected.
Washed 'til torn.
Had the line loved best.
Worn in rest, at play.
But now its dated,
It's too tight.
Tagline no longer fits.
Time to remove
and toss away.
Favorites are outgrown.
Replaced by new bests.
Time frays even favorites.

Sweeping the steps
Dealing with death
Making it a normal day
Thinking it won't be
Thinking of the hurt
Sweeping the steps
Deep in memories
Make it go away
Let me have her back
Make it a normal day

Said we were young.
Only fifteen.
Still young.
Still love.
Mutual respect.
Mutual silly.
Five years strong.
Already faced the rough.
Have so much sweet.
I call her "my girl".
I am "her boy".
We were made for each other.
Lucky enough to know it early.

Time to ration out the quota.
Enough to make sense-
But not so much-
The mix falls flat
Write all the words
That rise.
Even still some days
the words fall flat.
Rainy days cause better words.
Rain causes memories to rise.
Sunshine melts thoughts.
Too bright to share
Too knowing.
Dark corners bring better treats.
Write all words,
but know some fail.

Wrapped in a small package;
Sitting on the table.
The light streaming from the huge window
Above the door landing on the table
Where the package sat.
Dust dancing about the golden rays
Reaching the tiny package.
Inside the secret held.
Awaiting the chance to be known.
Should it be seized before shared?
Or opened for all to see?
She ran her fingers along the edge
of the table.
Bit her lip and raised the package.
Folded so carefully.
So plainly in brown paper.
No bow, no card.
She placed it back.
Grabbed her coat.
Glanced once more about the hall.
Pushed the door and called her fate.
The brown package was past.

All the expectations
All the preparations
Each year that comes
It could have been
Happy daydreams
Reality, I cope
I still long for you
Knowing you as no other
I bring you flowers
My sweet Cate
Three were born.
Two remain.

First flew past.
Second my arm didn't touch.
The last I fumbled.
Each attempt, I felt, I tried.
But, I never got right.
I wanted to hold it close.
I wanted to get just right.
Missed it -- missed it all.
Now, too late -- the lights are off.
The mist is settling.
My mood is gone.
Just missed it.

Some are born under rainbows.
And are blessed with promise.
Others are born with storms
And have no blessings.
Finding it hard to make their way,
Traveling the normal path
With awful consequence not known to most.
What explains their curse?
Still loved and cherished,
But forever facing crises that makes
Their mothers cry.
Stormy children in the weather
Floods of tears and prayers.
Grow past the folly into knowledge.
Step back from normal
Be better than careful.
Understand your place as a stormy child
With no rainbow shield to keep you safe.

Sit up straight.
Don't slouch with disappointment.
Ladies don't do that.
If it isn't nice, don't share.
Hold it deep inside.
Let it fester.
Don't tell the bad.
Don't make discomfort.
Glow, don't sweat.
Water makes it grow.
You might burst.

My turtle heart was covered.
Sat in the middle of the path,
Of all I believed,
Of all I had done.
Justice would never fail.
People do what's right.
How many times
my turtle heart sang the
song in heavy traffic.
For thirty years, I crossed
that road.
On the day it counted most.
Traffic hit my turtle shell.
Cracked my heart and soul.

Triple dip time,
Dreadful creeping
Stormy pain.
Not worth the good.
Lame stable.
Next time better thought.
Not caught in the weep.

Tip it over on the pillow;
Let it drain from deep within;
Sands of consciousness drain forth
in confusing stories of the night.
Trying to make sense of the depth of life,
Looking for forgiveness,
Attempting to right the wrongs,
Figuring the problems that can't be solved.
Flying over distant lands.
Talking happily with long lost friends.
Night is a time to drift and seek.
To meet the fears and conquer.
If only that dream can be found.

I hold it in the light
Tiny rays shine through
I rest it on my hand
No one sees, but me.
I will not share.

I rest it close.
I pull it off and never will I tell
what is and isn't.
I put it in the drawer
safe from sight.
Put away.

We move through with a certain amount of pain.
We walk the plain of meaning.
Double edged words.
Sharing too much.
Too much imagination
Letting others see deep
Share a life never lived except in our head
Reality is ours.
Do we pinch love ones with recollections
Or keep them quiet inside?
Stay quiet.
Truth may pinch.
Don't pinch,
Otherwise remain unknown.

One week the best
Next week the test
Never know my place
No sense -
Just a feeling.
My love drains
With your shift.
You think it
Is another.
So in truth
Maybe so
Can’t take
The other side of you.

So sweetly said,
So neatly done.
Just a brushing whisper,
a tender kiss on the ear.
Tilted head,
Hollow and soft.
So studied.
Not mine,
But for another.

Made up of the dust
Of life's journey.
Picking up the bits
Swirling about me.
Soaking into me
The strength made
From events beyond
My control.
Sparkled with the joy
Of the unexpected happiness
Of life's great blessings.
At the end washed from me
So that I am cleansed
And rinsed onto my love ones
As a memory of what was.

Just because it lasts,
Doesn't make it good.
Just too stupid to stop.
Do the same wrong thing.
Feel the same empty.
Was it just the money?
Peace alone at any price.
Stop living the same mistake.
You're right I was as stupid
as you said.
I lived the same lie
for thirty years.
But I am done.
Go find your fortune
Elsewhere.
It was never me.
It was just a long term.

Out in the open.
So wrong,
so much hurt for all.
If I could **** it
all inside like air
making it
leave the earth,
I would.
Yet it is there,
pain for all,
for all to suffer.
Your mistake, but
I would take it
deep inside
if I could so
you no longer
felt its stain.

A day in the bleak cold
Move forward with a pitch
Follow the music lift the foot
Dip back in the snow
Find a reason
Move forward with purpose,
Dip back to past delight.
Let the wind be your partner.
Holding you in a sway.
Fall forward and catch yourself
Lean back and right.
Winter movement upon the ice.
Finding no caution,
Only motion's delight.
Red cheeks and nose.
Bulky clothes.
Move forward to spring,
dip back to cold.

I can almost touch it.
It feels so close.
The tune conjures it.
The smell of green and new.
Memories of what was.
Close to me.
Never lost, never old, never told.
Then, I catch the glance.
I see the real.
Content myself with what is.
Let go what was.
So quickly lost.
Yet seems so close.
Is closed to me.

Not to my face.
Shared by no-name.
Write your wrong.
The heart bleeds in beat.
Push forth untrue words.
Spilt poison on paper.
Hoping you feel the paper cuts.

Down the red clay hill.
Tracks travel the gravel path.
Deep ditches filled with water
on either side.
Coal thrown from the railway cars.
Little girls walk along the tracks.
Gather the shiny black lumps.
Holding handfuls.
Listening for the ******* engine
for planned escape.
The jump aside and up the hill.
Not knowing the mighty weight
crushes past faster
than sound can warn.
Pulling under in brutal force.
Parents hit by crushing sadness.

Not always what I say matters;
Trying always to push happy
in the air;
Humming to hide the care;
People want nice and pretty;
Life sometimes heaps the bad;
Yelling in my car with the windows
up tight;
My time of peace is acknowledging
to myself;
The trick is not to share.
Because most don't really care.

All written and told.
No place to remember.
Just a sensation felt within.
Not knowing exactly what it is.
A need to correct and make right.
Not knowing what is wrong.
Just a feeling with no meaning.

If a clown comes at me
I will have  to run him down
Deep dark night
Where am I
Supposed to be a party
If he comes at me
I will run him down
Head back to Blacksburg
**** that clown

Soft pale gold enveloping
Dragging me down
Into deep thoughts
More my self here
Alone, eyes down.
Missed opportunities.
Blessings counted.
Pulling me deeper in myself.
Prayers for direction.
I will be. It will be.
Just old me.
Sinking under.

Know more.
Express less.
Always circling Nil Hill.
Sharing too freely with friends
To the point of no credit.
No mutual respect.
The answer so freely given.
Nil Hill is the center.
Friends roam past without spying nil hill.
Unkindly most people see only
Their contribution
Whether stolen or gifted.
Nil Hill barren and dark.

Downtown in dark ballroom;
Empty but for two;
Dressed for the prom unattended;
Sixteen, in love.
Forbidden, but desired.
Music on the phone.
Protective chin resting on
Gently tilting head.
Eyes shut feeling the moment.
Forbidden, but not forgotten.
Belonging and loved.
Their own personal prom.

My Christmas decoration
To adorn my hall;
While the tree lights the den;
The cookies lay upon the plate;
The ribbons scatter on the floor;
Lights glitter about inside and out.
Children run and chatter
about the Christmas cheer.
Angel wings and halo firmly rest
upon the blessed.
The message sent.

She shakes her head;
Move on, it isn't.
He reaches for her;
I will wait.
Strongly she pulls back;
Too late.
With tears in his eyes;
I will wait.
She frowns;
You let it go
Now, I feel no more.
I can't just be elected
because I won't.
He dips his head, my former crush;
I think I feel it, too.
If it is meant,
It will happen in God's time.
She turns;
God has better things
For his time.