These are the words I say most,
The ones that take me on the journey of the impossible,
The life I leave is full of sadness,
But the one I enter is worse,
What if,
What if I was what you want me to be?
What if I could hold your hand but for a moment,
You don't notice,
You don't see,
So I escape,
Into my secret places,
The place that I hate most,
But also where I can be accepted,
My imagination betrays my emotions
What if's,
What if I was more than one person,
Even then I could not love everyone,
Though somehow,
I can as one.

What if I had died those years ago,
Before you knew me,
Would you have lived like normal?
Would I not have caused this conflict within you?
What if the people I care most about are only being hurt by me,
These are the what if's,
That I try to ignore,
But when they look my in the face,
When I try to talk ,
But no words escape,
When I see you hurting day after day,
Knowing that I am a part of it,
I can't help but wonder,
Are the if's just reality?

Why can't I help you get rid of your sadness?
Why do you run?
Am I that monster that scares you away?
Don't think I haven't noticed that we are two sides of this coin,
I hate that I am this devil to your perfect angel,
But can this mold be broken?
If it can, it would be too late,
Because I see you hiding,
I see your running,
Is it from me?
Or the monster inside?
Am I helping?
Or am I making your sadness worse?
I need to know,
Because if the latter is so,
Then I will leave,
I will go

If you were gone,
Who would I have?
If you were gone,
What would I have done?
Please don't go now,
Because you are the flower,
And I do not want to miss the bloom,
If you were gone,
Would you have left again?
If you were gone,
would I have continued to be the outcast?
Please don't leave,
I would miss you,
If you were gone.

I am sorry that this wall must be,
This sea is full,
There are more people that care,
and this love we have, that we cannot share,
it will change,
might take time,
but love always does,
and that was why i was afraid,
Afraid to lose the love.

I see the monsters,
the demons you battle,
even if I don't know everything,
I'll grab my sword,
And stand by your side,
I'll fight no matter what,
I'll use the only abilities i have,
to bring you up,
out of your dungeon,

Who am I?
What does this world have in store for me?
Other than this battle I face between the two,
Both hold my heart, yet only one can I see,
And the other is like the sea, tossing, turning,
Both are hurting,
What can I do?
For the feeling are stronger for both of the two.