When you get a glimpse of how much observed pain they have
It makes you want to stay away

Flee the scene

Wither into moonlight
Gaslight the words until they feel like …
A dial never received

Pretzel shell our bodies
Collapsed there

Heart to heart
Here
But not for me

Curve em
When they get too wordy
These stories
are…

Hard
wave crushin
on the ear
Repetitive
Like sound bites
Hardened on the inside
threatening to hear

The tone becomes
More and more unnecessary.


They do that thing with their mask on
Corks in the shame
Lasts the night away

Sick in a bed
On a sofa bench
Physical depletion
Hurts the pain
Covers up the fear when there’s nothing left
To say
and a megabit to share
Nobody to blame but them.

Strike out.

But the past and the pastor who told him to keep on prayin’
Stop the lyin’
Embrace the game

Even though it’s killin’ your brain

Like pop up blocks mergin’
From a black jack in the box

And One big sound wave

I’m like a virtuoso
Crippin’
on the break
But I knocked one down
With 20 years to go

I am an unresolved question
With Responses
Ready to flow
Waiting to go
But unprepared to show

Who I am and why I’ve become so unemotional

So burnt out and broken down
When all those blondies used to know
The real me.. now I’m a different Maverick
On the Hill
Father passing
Nothing really matters
He says: I’m cancelling Life out
“And Life has changed for me once again”

Those times
made my story ill
And now all I have is the fear of existence begging me to feel fulfilled
But I never will

Isolation
Attempts to brush away the flashbacks
Of my life
Calling out for help
When glam was my only pill

They’ll move one step forward.
Unsteadily. Still trying to make it.
Running from the shame of their own shadow

You’ve accomplished more than I ever imagined to believe

It is all possible.

And yet “just believing” never helps

I was in a phantasy plane


You knew the landing
page would shift


And bring me back to my life

Take me away

Alive and Glowing

Alive and Ready


This is brain fate
taking action

I would like you to think like a metaphor.

Grow what you want to grow in your garden and not worry about anyone else’s.

The universe causes everything to happen exactly as it should be.
The years have no bearing on when.

We can’t live for hope.
We must live in an unconflicted way.
Not everyone is going to meet the same expectations.

It matters not what we know but how we use it in life.

There is more valued alignment in being this than proving its point.

I can tell you I never fell in love.

But I am relaxing today because productivity is in the mind.

True Intimacy starts with a soul connection.

We have to spend less time on the words and spend time inside the gap with the source of who we are whilst acting on the consistent feelings at all times.

Never allow the crisis to disrupt your sensibilities.
Your intuition is more sensible.

Our job is to make our lives compelling works of art.
To help purify my world in truth, companionship, and pure understanding
That is true. That is being in relationship.

Ask yourself:
What is needed from me before I set out to create the best journey of my life?

As we all meet uncertainty with the whole of every atom that is ourselves, learn to
be certain of your commitment to your assumptions in life.
Leave doubt and indecision.
That’s for the Universe to handle.  

It is within the faith we share.
That which cannot be all.


Divine power and godliness is radiant through him.
Knowledge is wisdom and we are using it to create the highest forms of greatness within ourselves and one another.

I thought of her as my best friend.
The sister, the role-model.
I never had that from another woman.
Almost a decade older.
She was blonde and Brazilian.
A former successful attorney.
What does that really mean though?

The woman I was becoming:
Shifting to disempowered without even knowing who I was spending my time with.
Damaged and betrayed
She looks for external fixes for internal problems.
Let’s buy some hair and skin care for you, she’d say.
Ignoring people. Always working.
Without knowing why.
Uncommitted to her appointments.
Lost in her 1 dimensional world
It sounded like 5 out loud.
Something felt off.

I continued talking to her about all my relationships, it felt like her life was spilling into mine and I couldn’t get out.
She encouraged me through her own past to be involved with a man who was highly unwell and attempted harm on us both.

These were the facades of the longest shadow, and also where the most leaning in, learning, growth, and shifting took place for me.

She never made time to be my friend.
Women who invite you over to cook and bake, go out for dinner or tea, drink, make silly videos on YouTube, get your hair and nails done, and drag you to parties, may be friendly towards you but they aren’t necessarily what we call friendship.
Physical and emotional care is wellness. And I knew it.

But, we ignore the signs I think because we believe ourselves into feeling like we need someone when they don’t need anyone.
We don’t need, we just focus on building ourselves, discovering health in new ways.

Values, personal qualities, standards, strengths, and illuminated boundaries are the ingredients to the foundation of a true friend.

It took me almost 2 years to speak up and drop the knife.

Look for the meaning in the experience.

Nothing can make up for the aligned place within.

I have since showed up to never expected experiences that I created from what I’ve healed from.

Now this woman can go inside, she can shift it, and externally it must change.

This is personal power.
Evolving deeper and deeper into the highest expression of who I was meant to be.

We all have attributes that make-up our  character.

Attributes show up, but they are inherent to our nature and it is a matter of adaptability to get out of situations that we need in order to be our best and to become these healed attributes.
And it happens through living our higher self. And that self is mere awareness.
Dive in. I believe in you.