Reuse old souls astride of graves.
Life begets death begets life without fail.
I found an available womb: Donovan.
William and Jean. 23 July 1948. Sail.

March 23, 1949. William John Donovan, jr.
Born against my will! Welcome to home.
Who are you people? I need familiar!
I hope to some God I won't die all alone.

Samuel Beckett -
“They give birth astride of a grave, the light
gleams an instant, then it's night once more.”

I have to wait a year for birthday ***.
  What can be worth it for a year's wait?
  The old standby, ****, has been overdone.
  The circus must be in town tonight?
You found triplet sisters to excite me?
Let's reminiscence. Cuddle and talk.

She is delivered from
the froth of the sea.
The goddess of love
and  perfect beauty.

I've loved her many
times strange brew
I can't resist. All were
Aphrodite I always knew.

The most calm I ever knew
was eating my own insanity
swallowing the bitter blue
embracing my own lobotomy,
guilt murdered in my Xanax.
PTSD rears an ugly head
It's a challenge to relax,
Go back rearrange the dead.

I want to loose my soul on poetry.
  Do I need to drop acid? Can I cut me
  and scratch my blood in lines on paper?
  I've a rich history of ****** up and
  redemption. I've hanged me in 9 lives
  and I've risen from the dead 10 times.

I swallowed cruel
of what I'd done.
My soul was dark
erased the sun.
I abandoned him
I feared anger
echoes Dad's war
rear view chasing
ran into traffic
broke leg legacy.
God rescued you
adopted by family.

I'm cleared for flight
   another anxious night
   terrified of the height
   and pain of a slight
   you stole my libido
   while we danced a Tango
   at closing you said no
   I died in love's rodeo.

there's been an empty space
   behind my black hole eyes
   dead in my mask less face
   composed of infinite lies.
   I am a prism of broke light
   acid is my paper rocket
   too near the sun in flight
   burning star another planet.

Your appetites betray.
You will always pay
for silence end of day,
never escape the decay.

Black water. Sunlight.
   How to drown at noontime.
   You'll end up caught on
   a log in shallows where
   you're found and catalogued.
   You ended more lives than
   your own. Family is dead
   emotionally and buried.

I craved your poison breath.
   You made me dig my grave.
   You ate me after my death.
   Mourned me too late to save.

You made me crave your poison.
   You made me dig my grave.
   You ate me after *******.
   We never misbehave.

I scratch these words on paper in blood.
    A bleeding angel who knows the truth.
    I should have told you about my faults
    at the beginning. We all want to put our
    best foot forward during courtship. Shiny
    penny. I'm awesome for 6 months then what?
    We're an item by then. Married and moving
    to another state. There's no explosion.
    The flame just burns a little fainter each week.
    Less warmth. Less light, the eyes can't
    focus, we see things differently. We live
    our fictions as we want not as they are.
    We're mute and blind and deaf. Easier.
    Never bare your soul. It will bare itself.

"I've been with saints.
I've been with sinners.
They both ruin my knees".
She told me that later.

Peeing through a hose is nice.
Erratic aim past 60 roll the dice.
Pregnancy is a woman's dream
until birth's agonizing scream.
Marriage vows we both are one.
4 weddings later and I am done.

second coming of the tenacious beast
   old yellow pictures of dead Jews half
   chewed up by the maw of wars.

   second coming of the hideous beast
   TV images of flies feasting on corpses
   in the killing fields of Cambodia.

   second coming of apocalyptic beast
   9/11 preview of the final act
   no surrender just perfect annihilation.

She told me about herself
her growing up and more.
I ordered shots. God help me.
To the head, out the front door
the French leave set me free
from the blind dating bore.
I saw her hail a cab to escape
her blind date, such a bore.

you brought me blind to your bed
I didn't know if I groped for you
or if I were just a shadow of the dead
wandering among the graves instead.
Here's to the liars, those who feign
love instead of truth and break hearts.

To be or not to be?
  I paint a black halo around
  your blond hair at midnight
  while you hide the moon from
  me and I wonder at your games.
  It's all intense; music, acid,
  *******, the beautiful things
  I've known, but  not seen lately
  We wait naked in the dark for
  dawn's first vague glimpse of
love in the eyes. We stare blind
and reach into the dark for lovers.

I'm blind but see everything.
I feel heat, hear breathing,
feel sweat on hands and face
as we kiss know hearts race.
I touch your secret garden
you hold my ***** harden.
Dark we consummate our love.
We sleep, dream stars above.

There's always blind spots
without any fore thoughts.
Never mind consequences,
never any mending fences.

Life is Blink of an Eye
      
I was born through time and space
      landed in this crazy bright place
      furious at light and white beasts
      with no faces but ******* and feces.
      I lived parts dealt me rich or poor.
      Bully or bullied Methadone *****.
      AA and AlAnon LGBTQ and straight.
      I always struggled most with weight.
      I had visions through time and space
      in Hospice in Morphine dreams place
      light's candle abandoned the living
      accepting a blink of eye forgiving.

I wore white Levi jeans when
I lied and we necked in your
basement with you on my lap
and love on my mind and you
started your period and blood
on my jeans. I was supposed
to be painting a parade float.
Love's irony is catholic guilt.

Vinyl lover named Susan Tucker
the first girl I kissed and missed.
I blow her up she lets me **** her
she yearns for me she can't resist.

Birds cawing. Rats gnawing. Cats clawing. Craving.
  Bells ringing. Choirs singing. Dead bringing. Score.
  ****** faking. Thief's taking. Mischief making. Under.
  Alice small. Alice tall. Red Queen's fall. Floating.
  Birds cawing. Rats gnawing. Cats clawing. Craving.
  **** cawing gnawing clawing faking or OD. All work.
  Fists punching. Fingers touching. Lips turn blue. Bye.
  Tears spilling. Sobs drilling. Graves filling. Grief.

I rode rails with Kerouac
dragged hearts through
one night bomber flack
full moon of eerie blue.

Willing virgins sacrificed
on altars of sacred Beats
Scream out "Jesus Christ"!
applause from cheap seats.

We wore suicide vests
into our love nests.
Friends come and go
some fast some slow.
Drunk on your wine
everything was fine.

We share a sense of humor.
  I'd trust you with my life.
  You danced a ballet in the
  bar introduced me to my wife
  you saved me from Eric's ego
  my plumage was always *****
  life ebbs and flows still waters
  run deep. You have my respect!

I died but didn't know.
There never was a burial.
They dug me a hole
in clouds for my soul
I didn't know my role
apostles my body stole

My skin is plastic. My veins are rubber.
I might melt in the boiling summer heat.
Each day I grow weaker. I'm closer to corpse.
Let's move to the desert where death looms
in shower stalls with scorpions and coiled
snakes in rare shade just waiting for us.

The myriad Bond Villains
made an unholy alliance
wealth bigger than God
built a Laser appliance
to burn America to hell.
Our guns are useless now
only chance is a blue roof
and learning to kowtow.

The myriad Bond Villains
made an unholy alliance
wealth bigger than God
built a Laser appliance
to burn America to hell.
Our guns are useless now
only chance is a blue roof
and learning to kowtow.

Birth is a bonfire
death is the ashes
we all get drunk
we smoke ****
we drop acid
we kiss and ****
we puke and hold
onto false hope
and broke dreams
we laugh we cry
wondering why
and miss it all
in death's ashes
in mourning.

We're ratted out
bullet holes our
tame acquiescence
we're finished now
posed unflattering
on all front pages

Bon voyage in your
lonely quest for fame.
The band plays and
locals bid adieu.
Gulls and bells speak.
Waves clap noisily
slapping at shore.
Cheering fades as
miles add to miles.
Now you are alone.

Life to death
are bookends to
our story lived,
Birth to Burial.

Calling all stations...
I'm ****** and alone
lost in my thoughts in
Autumns cornfield maze.
My memories tease me
and almost please me
but fade before the end
messages do not send.

I'm always stillborn.
I don't know why but
it's easier than living.
I don't navigate hearts
I break or lost lovers in
hormones and jealously.

Torn naked from her mud
9 month lease up too soon
born into a chaos of blood
inside a devil's full moon
shadows hide in themselves
life's dice forever roll
losses gathered on shelves
final tally in a burial hole.

I brought you to life
   in a poem. You'll never
   love in moderation. Love
   screams out loud and catches
   its breath and sleeps 'til noon.
   Then it happens next full moon.

I brought you to life
   in a poem. You'll never
   love in moderation. Love
   screams out loud and catches
   its breath and sleeps forever.
   Then it happens again Tuesday.

I was ****** into a womb with
love's angry *******.
A terrible spark set me afire
on my way to Greenhills.
1949
I was born in March like a mad
hatter with no name in anger's nest.
Dad screamed discontent PTSD
yet to be diagnosed. WW2 flack
floating in our home unknown
we found foxholes anywhere.
You won't remember me.
I won't remember you as well.
Our features were melting into
the surrounding darkness.

The Elites never had enough
pieces of our pitiful existence.
They ****** our blood from us
in their entitled rich persistence.
We were just  lab animals to them
always testing mad god science.

Swirled madness of starry nights
I was born in fierce celestial fights
cells attract and repel love and hate
I never want you again can't wait.

Got you worrying from your gate post
to the cane fields. Got you fearing for
your life while the yellow eyed
black beasts stare with hatred at your
whips and ******* cruelty without
an ounce of fear anymore.

I had a room in a garret.
She had a room without heat.
We had holes in our hearts.
I called her from a phone booth
and went to her cold bed. We
pretended love and slept warm.

I had a room in a garret.
She had a room without heat.
We had holes in our hearts.
I called her from a phone booth
and went to her cold bed. We
pretend at love and sleep warm.

I had a room in a garret.
She had a room without heat.
We had holes in our hearts.
I called her from a phone booth
and went to her cold bed. We stop
shaking, we come, no regrets, Bye.

With war painted eyes
weapons between thighs
in Boston's combat zone
tempting men all alone
smell the pungent bait
pay the fee never wait
you always want it pure
no promise nothing sure
no heartache to endure
kiss a wife at the door.

With war painted eyes
weapons between thighs
in Boston's combat zone
tempting men all alone
smelling the pungent bait
pay a fee there is no wait
you always want it pure
no promise nothing sure
no heartache to endure
kiss a wife at the door.