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Torn naked from her mud
9 month lease up too soon
born into a chaos of blood
inside a devil's full moon
shadows hide in themselves
life's dice forever roll
losses gathered on shelves
final tally in a burial hole.
I brought you to life
   in a poem. You'll never
   love in moderation. Love
   screams out loud and catches
   its breath and sleeps forever.
   Then it happens again Tuesday.
I brought you to life
   in a poem. You'll never
   love in moderation. Love
   screams out loud and catches
   its breath and sleeps 'til noon.
   Then it happens next full moon.
I was ****** into a womb with
love's angry *******.
A terrible spark set me afire
on my way to Greenhills.
1949
I was born in March like a mad
hatter with no name in anger's nest.
Dad screamed discontent PTSD
yet to be diagnosed. WW2 flack
floating in our home unknown
we found foxholes anywhere.
You won't remember me.
I won't remember you as well.
Our features were melting into
the surrounding darkness.
The Elites never had enough
pieces of our pitiful existence.
They ****** our blood from us
in their entitled rich persistence.
We were just  lab animals to them
always testing mad god science.
Born in USA. Die in UNGR.*
*United Nation's Global Republic
Swirled madness of starry nights
I was born in fierce celestial fights
cells attract and repel love and hate
I never want you again can't wait.
Got you worrying from your gate post
to the cane fields. Got you fearing for
your life while the yellow eyed
black beasts stare with hatred at your
whips and ******* cruelty without
an ounce of fear anymore.
I had a room in a garret.
She had a room without heat.
We had holes in our hearts.
I called her from a phone booth
and went to her cold bed. We stop
shaking, we come, no regrets, Bye.
I had a room in a garret.
She had a room without heat.
We had holes in our hearts.
I called her from a phone booth
and went to her cold bed. We
pretended love and slept warm.
I had a room in a garret.
She had a room without heat.
We had holes in our hearts.
I called her from a phone booth
and went to her cold bed. We
pretend at love and sleep warm.
With war painted eyes
weapons between thighs
in Boston's combat zone
tempting men all alone
smelling the pungent bait
pay a fee there is no wait
you always want it pure
no promise nothing sure
no heartache to endure
kiss a wife at the door.
With war painted eyes
weapons between thighs
in Boston's combat zone
tempting men all alone
smell the pungent bait
pay the fee never wait
you always want it pure
no promise nothing sure
no heartache to endure
kiss a wife at the door.
Boston's Red Light District
With war painted eyes
weapons between thighs
in Boston's combat zone
tempting men all alone
smell the pungent bait
pay the fee for no wait
you always want it pure
no promise nothing sure
no heartache to endure
kiss a wife at the door.
At a Mass Ave bus stop. Broken mirror in a
storefront. I see, in slivers of glass, pieces
of my mind apart from each other, madness.
Mostly I see guilt. Always GUILT! Like
being stalked by some ******* Russian writer!
Deliver me from me. Help me find redemption.
I left my wife and kids, like some suicide.
Life an emotional minefield I danced through!
******, beer and cigarettes kept me sane.
Angels guided me, so many I've lost count.
Some would call them friends and they were.
They guided me back to what mattered most.
My kids were the missing piece of me.
Awkward reunions, regaining trust, closeness.
Katie and Sean.  A mantra I never forgot.
A hope I clutched alone in the desert.
My planet escaped the gravity of the sun.
      Madness and chaos ensued. I went down a
      black hole. Every social construct was told
      to ******* as I slouched towards Boston.

      Reborn with stains of the past nesting inside.
      We're never free of our betrayals. We just pretend.
      We reinvent us and become strangers to ourselves.
      I hope my memories die before me. I'll be cleansed.
At a Mass Ave bus stop. Broken mirror in a
storefront. I see, in slivers of glass, pieces
of my mind apart from each other, madness.
Mostly I see guilt. Always GUILT! Like
being stalked by some ******* Russian writer!
Deliver me from me. Help me find redemption.
I left my wife and kids, just some suicide.
Life an emotional minefield I danced through!
******, beer and cigarettes kept me sane.
Angels guided me, so many I've lost count.
Some would call them friends and they were.
They guided me back to what mattered most.
My kids were the missing pieces of me.
Awkward reunions, regaining trust, closeness.
Katie and Sean.  A mantra I never forgot.
An energy I felt while alone in the desert.
At a Mass Ave bus stop. Broken mirror in a
storefront. I see, in slivers of glass, pieces
of my mind apart from each other, madness.
Mostly I see guilt. Always GUILT! Like
being stalked by some ******* Russian writer!
Deliver me from me. Help me find redemption.
I left my wife and kids, just some suicide.
Life an emotional minefield I danced through!
******, beer and cigarettes kept me sane.
Angels guided me, so many I've lost count.
Some would call them friends and they were.
They guided me back to what mattered most.
My kids were the missing piece of me.
Awkward reunions, regaining trust, closeness.
Katie and Sean.  A mantra I never forgot.
An energy I felt while alone in the desert.
I'm poor. All I have
is a bouquet of poems
I wrote for you that
won't die if neglected.
I drink wine from the box not the bottle.
     My empties are very functional. I make
     chairs to sit in alone for happy hour.
     Beds to sleep alone in case I can't atone.
     Dog house to be alone in when you're angry.
     Walls between us too tall to ever surmount.
     Even my own coffin hot as hell herself.
     I could never build a bridge back home.
Our first boy, boy.
My namesake, boy.
Fetch my tools, boy.
Cry beating belt, boy.
Make me proud, boy.
Ignore my cruelty, boy.
War's killing eats us, boy.
Comes home each night, boy.
Never mind the misery, boy.
She smiled at you, Boy!
Our first boy, boy.
My namesake, boy.
Fetch my tools, boy.
Cry beating belt, boy.
Make me proud, boy.
Ignore my cruelty, boy.
War's killing eats us, boy.
Comes home each night, boy.
Never mind the misery, boy.
She smiles at you, Boy!
Our first boy, boy.
My namesake, boy.
Fetch my tools, boy.
Cry beating belt, boy.
Make me proud, boy.
Ignore my cruelty, boy.
War's killing eats us, boy.
Comes home each night, boy.
Never mind the misery, boy.
She smiled at you, Boy!
Boys play at growing up and shaving.
     Girls bleed into women we desire.
     Boys want damsels who need saving.
     Girls tend to boy's raging fire.
     Boys look tough but always cry alone.
     Girls want to always be protected
     but end up having hearts of stone.
     Boys are addicted and feel neglected.
Pristine saints threaten
fingers crossed again
scout's honor weapon
slingshot to the shin.
19 and called to serve in Nam.
  You said no strings keep me.
  We ****** as if there were more
  the flight to war is always free
  the flight home in body bags
  tin medals on the shredded boys
  flag draped coffins all the same
  dead sons playing war with toys.
The world keeps spinning
   against my will. I stop time
   in my secret world and live
   barefoot in summer's grass.
   I build dams in the creek
   and play with crawdads and
   steal change for candy and
   army men from Rathman's.
   Mom dresses us for Easter
   in little suits and fedoras
   crooners in her fantasy.
   We lived her lives when
   we had to. Boy trapped.
   I smell summer's grass.

   I dream in hospice care
   and smile big morphine
   grins as my body shuts
   down against my will.
These machines
we call brain
full of pleasure
and full of pain.
My life is imploding all
around me. Block by block
is demolished making room
for some brave new world
for versions of a new us
state control tech drones.
I bought breakfast for a Communist
to discuss our differences. He drank
***** and I had coffee. I don't feel
superior just sick from last night.
He hates god. God is evil to poor.
I said he deprived the poor as
the rich process fat from masses
to boil it into flame to read Marx.
I asked if I wore his Marx hat
and shout among the masses
could I convince them God is
not dead but Marx is long dead?
I have no time to listen
to your supposition
of the conversation
of your observation
when you found her ****
swimming in an attitude
she thought it amusing
and started refusing
to name her admirer
who set her on fire.
I have no time to listen
to your supposition
of the conversation
of your observation
when you found her ****
swimming in an attitude
she thought it amusing
and started refusing
to name her admirer
who set her on fire.
I was a sinner who left my wife
and kids for the girlfriend *****.
Simon and Garfunkel understood
and sang while we ****** in time.
in a friend's bed with ***** and we
laughed and killed the intruders in the
shower and ****** in a love of sorts
that never stood a chance and withered.
I lived a half life all along
radioactive from some song
when you touched me I woke
listened to words you spoke
Touch is a spark we need
Life begins with this seed.
It's a hoedown in the barn
Saturday night fiddles
harmonicas love riddles
we meet lovers on a farm
Love is tender no harm
necklace worn like a charm.
Our world grew quiet like the dead.
   I never heard silence like this before.
   I knew it was over when we ate alone
   and slept apart and watched our own
   shows. We always adapt. We're good at it.
   It's easier than fixing what is broken.
How can you love this broke man
  who can't even love himself?
  Imposter. Poseur. Always on stage.
  Playing to the crowd for applause.
  Preening in the mirror before bed.
  Don't mess my makeup, my sweet.
  Never cry real tears. Never block
  my lighting. Never ever upstage me!
There's always a price tag
hanging on your heart.
I saved my change in a jar
to down pay as a start.
You're never layaway
payment due delivery.
I'll make enough money
and ask you to marry me.
I fell off the Earth awhile ago.
I'm floating in time and space.
Time's never ticked so **** slow.
I think I recognize this place.
My lovers wait in beds for me
on fire with hate where I burn
I'll visit you with bent knee
and love you with all I learn
We bought a broken dog
and took him to our broken home
to live with this broken family.
We tried to fix him with broken
training. I was too broken to get
it right. The more I yelled the more
broke he got. I had a drunken insight
one evening walking him in a full moon.
He reminded me of me in my childhood.
I saw things through his broken eyes
and held him close. I promised I'd fix us.
I found my broken self in a dog shelter.
Still broke but much better! My college aged daughter named him Jack Daniels.
I put my brittle ego on the line
  each time I send you a drink or ask
  for a dance or your phone number.
  I break a frozen monster's mask.

  I wish I could guide my young self in
  a time machine and calm our fears.
The nest fell apart a long time ago.
I've lost count of the broken years.
I love my garden perfect.
Everything in its place and
watered and sun drenched.
I live in chaos and clouds
that refuse to give rain.
Love withered long ago.
Mr. Fantasy always breaking the rules
collecting glass frame butterfly fools.
We flutter and preen colors of rainbows
killed pristine pinned in perfect rows.
I was supreme and all knowing.
You hovered beneath my sun and moon
and adored my sacred creation.
You cursed me in famine and sung
hymns to me in bountiful times.
Karl Heinrich Marx broke me and
killed America and freedom and
his minions imprison us today.
I'm just one in a million
broken heart gazillion.
I just ache never bleed
burning for your need.
Lover's fingers on ivory keys
play moving music all about
broken vows on bent knees.
Sowing Love's forever doubt.
Priced as marked or best offer.
    Some damaged more than others.
    A small tear
    a workplace affair
    a bigger tear
    a torrid affair with broken promises
    devastated barely pumps
    he always cheated and blamed her
    blown out selling for parts
    he betrayed and took the kids
    she overdosed and stabbed her heart
    for good measure. Tears roll down
    but can never make things right.
    Make an offer after all why not?
At 5 I broke my leg.
At 12 a girl
broke my heart.
At 18 I broke apart
everything for Love
set adrift at start.
Drowned and burned
to death I turned
around my own sun
another day of fun
searching for Eden
rebirth in a garden.
I was 5
insecure
living
not sure
dad was
war torn
bomber
reborn
in flak
no way back.
PTSD
what it be
a misery
die me free
if only
it'd be.
It eats us up and spits us out.
Life is God's broken machine
addicts prostitutes for drugs.
Will we be able to get clean?

I need a needle to feel numb.
We all walk with the wounded
we die inside no man's land
always felt like we intruded.
Break wind, break promises,
break hearts but never ever
break Sacred Marriage Vows!
All the gods will have cows...
All kittens will die I swear on a
bible made in communist China.
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