I was married and then not. ****.
  Vows don't demand beheading anymore.
  We earnestly married in our own farce.
  We drowned in my guilt and moved on.
  I was in wilderness for 40 days and nights.
  You called crying when Pepper got hit by a car
  and died. I came to your dorm room and we
  drank beers and got naked and ****** away
  our naivete. I never saw you again.
  I went to Boston for my next chapter.

I was married and then not. ****.
  Vows don't demand beheading anymore.
  We earnestly married in farce.
  We drowned in my guilt and moved on.
  I was in wilderness for 40 days and nights.
  You called crying when Pepper got hit by a car
  and died. I came to your dorm room and we
  drank beers and got naked and ****** away
  our naivete. I never saw you again.
  I went to Boston for my next chapter.

I was married and then not. ****.
  Vows don't demand beheading anymore.
  We earnestly married in farce.
  We drowned in my guilt and moved on.
  I was in wilderness for 40 days and nights.
  You called crying when Pepper got hit by a car
  and died. I came to your dorm room and we
  drank beers and got naked and ****** away
  our precious time. I never saw you again.
  I drove to my Boston's chapter next day.

I try drawing you from  old memories
   but can't get your eyes right. I don't see
   a body that destroyed my earnest vows.
   I can't see your firm young ******* and
   ******* that grew so hard by my caress.
   I can't see us dancing naked in the dark.
   I wish I'd kept the photos. I cremated us
   in an ashtray and I can't see us anymore.

I try drawing you from  old memories
   but can't get your eyes right. I don't see
   the body that destroyed my earnest vows.
   I can't see your warm young ******* and
   ******* that grew so hard by my caress.
   I can't see us dancing naked in the dark.
   I wish I'd kept the photos. I cremated us
   in an ashtray. I can't see you anymore.

I try drawing you from  old memories
   but can't get your eyes right. I can't see
   the body that destroyed my earnest vows.
   I can't see your warm young ******* and
   ******* that grew so hard by my caress.
   I can't see us dancing naked in the dark.
   I wish I'd kept the photos. I cremated us
   in an ashtray and I can't see us anymore.

I try drawing you from  old memories
   but don't get your eyes right. I can't see
   the body that destroyed my earnest vows.
   I can't feel your warm young ******* and
   ******* that grew so hard by my caress.
   I can't see us dancing naked in the dark.
   I wish I'd kept the photos. I cremated you
   in an ashtray drunk mourning our death.

I try drawing you from  old memories
   but can't get your eyes right. I don't see
   the body that destroyed my earnest vows.
   I can't see your warm young ******* and
   ******* that grew so hard by my caress.
   I can't see us dancing naked in the dark.
   I wish I'd kept the photos. I cremated us
   in an ashtray and I can't see us anymore.

We never talked of pleasure.
  It was always buried treasure.
  Marriage was a woman pure
  as a ****** bride to endure.
  Bette home on John's Island
  she finally made her stand.
  Took her kids and left behind
  his ashes they'll never find.

We never talked of pleasure.
  It was always buried treasure.
  Marriage was a woman pure
  as a ****** bride to endure.
  Bette on Charleston Island
  she finally made her stand.
  Took her kids and left behind
  ashes they'll never find.

I'm 87 this month and time has been unkind.
I was such a beauty in my youth beckoning
lovers with indifference. Always in demand.

Empty compliments from sales girls enrage me!
I can still be sweet like poison stealing pain from
your suffering.  Once again, Rudolph Valentino!

Make this old heart explode with your wild eyes.
Bring me a proper final curtain, roses at my feet.
I'll return for you forever for our curtain calls.

I'm 87 this month and time has been unkind.
I was such a beauty in my youth beckoning
lovers with indifference. Always in demand.
Empty compliments from sales girls enrage me!
I can still be sweet like poison stealing pain from
your suffering.  Once again, Rudolph Valentino!
Make this old heart explode with your wild eyes.
Bring me a proper final curtain, roses at my feet.
I'll return for you forever for our curtain calls.

Now I love low light and shadows.
     Night is my flattering friend who
     understands the ugliness of aging.
     My skin turns purple as my veins
     capture hold on my thinning skin.
     Onion skin. Thin translucent, like
     strong wind could rip it off bones.
     I was a fetching beauty not too long
     ago. Full sun on the beach I had
     men staring agog. I strutted and
     knew they didn't have a chance. I
     decided who would plant their flag.

I'm 87 this month and time has been unkind.
I was such a beauty in my youth beckoning
lovers with indifference. Always in demand.

Empty compliments from sales girls enrage me!
I can still be sweet like poison stealing pain from
your suffering.  Once again, Rudolph Valentino!

Make this old heart explode with your wild eyes.
Bring me a proper final curtain, roses at my feet.
I'll return for you forever for our curtain calls.

We never talked of pleasure.
  It was always buried treasure.
  Marriage was a woman pure
  as a ****** bride to endure.
  Bette home on John's Island
  she finally made her stand.
  Took her kids and left behind
  his ashes they'll never find.

I have reached an age
without another page
pay an obscene wage
shouting more rage
on my silent stage
death's final gauge.

I have reached an age
without another page
pay an obscene wage
shouting more rage
on my silent stage
death's golden cage.

Bette Mann doesn't exist.
The world's a lesser place
without her fierce resist.
We will never replace.

I took her cans to the curb
both the recycled and waste.
I tried quiet to not disturb,
she would know I'm *******.

She's granite old and fossilized.
She lived too **** long. She knew.
The doctor told her today.
It's cancer. She said so all along.
Her stage is set for her final act.
Her coach awaits stage left.

Thank God. I made it past the minute hand.
    It's after 10 and my soul is black as midnight.
    The snake hair girl never showed. It seems I'm
    always lost in wonderland. Up is down. The Red
    Queen holds court. I drink the best I can to
    stupid. We roar with laughter at stories told
    by Korky. We feast. We sing and candles blown out.
    I sleep in a cold bed dreaming warm of snake hair.

I bought an old clock
hung it on my wall
wound it up it ticked
my heartbeat after all
metronome of my life
tick tock Timbuktu.

I came of age on a cusp, staid or hippie.
I stood with a foot on each side as my
whole world cracked in 2 and I with it;
Down a rabbit hole, into a looking glass.
The world was at odds. Beer or ****? Acid?
Martini lunch? Suit or bell bottoms? Free
love? Married with kids? Free spirit?
Obligations? The hall of mirrors.
Head shrink. Find me in the looking glass.
Discover myself. Survive the in between.

I came of age on a cusp, staid or hippie.
I stood with a foot on each side as my
whole world cracked in 2 and I with it;
Down a rabbit hole, into a looking glass.
The world was at odds. Beer or ****? Acid?
Martini lunch? Suit or bell bottoms? Free
love? Married with kids? Free spirit?
Obligations? The hall of mirrors.
Head shrink. Find me in the looking glass.
Discover myself. Survive the between.

beware the dreamers
keep their souls
locked in chains

beware the workers
they will march in
unison to take a share

beware the lawyers
who set you on fire and
charge to **** on you

beware the poets
who seek purity
truth at all cost

beware the dreamers
keep their souls
locked in chains

beware the workers
they will march in
unison to take a share

beware the lawyers
who set you on fire and
charge to **** on you

beware the poets
who seek purity
truth at all cost

I outlived such penalties
that bring me shames' fines
or ugly looks in churches
where Jesus truly shines.
Old mad Bill still searches
for his lover in the mines.

Living in a Speck of Time

  I'm born and die inside a speck of time.
  Small minds will never see our universe.
  We will never see time and space beyond
  our own reach. We invent science pretend
  to know where we are in the grand scheme.
  We scribble math as if it solves problems.
  What is the meaning of life? Where's Waldo?
  He's behind a curtain acting like a wizard.

I sweep the leaves around the kitchen
into a pile. I'm dancing with the broom
Fred Astaire and Ginger Rodgers spinning
my mind a movie screen and soundtrack
echoes off the walls. We laugh and fall in
love. We drink between numbers. Big Band.

Husband, father, monster;
lover, protector, hangman.
War broke you into pieces
Always did best you can.

Loving and angry addicted
to speed from bomber flights
Back home 3 kids and wife
you lost your mind in fights.

Mom shut windows in heat
so no one heard you scream
you'd burn the anger out and
take us to the Dairy Queen.

Everything is currency
buy whatever you see
easy for you not to care
just another billionaire.
Have a little more fun.
  Charge us a fee for sun.
We pay you for breath.
    You rent graves at death.
         Subscription only accepted.
        Miss a payment be evicted.

Wearing a top hat and a straight
  jacket with a monocle and goatee.
  He owns everything like God does.
  Nobody will ever tell him different.
  He'll silence you and disappear you.
  He'll buy your friends and family.
  He'll define what's real and false.
  He's the man who bought the world.
  Our lives are in his cattle cars on
  our way to his indifferent endings.

Can you hear the mighty roar
of the angry noise of war?
UN troops go door to door.
Steal from rich. Give to poor.
Billionaires demand justice
not for them, but just for us.

BJ

first boy born
into your mad carnival
of French clowns and
angry war torn fathers
stern German granny and
carnival barkers who
promise salvation while
drunk strangers pass me
around like a flask
feeling almost full and
time just gets away from us
while years pass like seconds.

A shout out to Bill and Melinda
the philanthropic magic tricks
20% ROI African sterile vaccine
baptism by shots black eugenics.
I am old and ripe to be deaded.
Save me from your mathematics.

A shout out to Bill Gates on
his philanthropic magic tricks
20% ROI African sterile vaccine
baptisms of fire black eugenics.

*** or tat
   **** or shat
   this or that

   live or die
   truth or lie
   laugh or cry

   mix or match
   lose or catch
   fix or patch

   early or late
   choice or fate
   love or hate

Empathetic. Tear stains.
  Heart afire and broken.
  Youth. Broke vows. Broke
  family. Round the drain.
  Angel saved me. Broke her
  heart. Angels saved me.
  Broke their hearts. Devil
  saved me. Broke her heart.
  Queen Jayne saved me as
  stars in our dark night
  alone together we do it
  til we create new light.
We named her Bailey.
She shines so bright!

I'm their lust from long ago
when time stood still while
2 people were 1 and made me.
I'm grateful for their passion.
What creation am I after all?
Just a mind fueled by alcohol.

Not old enough to buy beer
we virgins seduced ourselves
in Eden's garden of tall grass
in Greenhills we surrendered
broke vows and commandments
and parents' hearts for biology.

I see your shadow from above
  hunting me with your eagle eyes.
  I always told you of my weakness
  now you know just where to strike.

  Keep your talons from my flesh.
  Spare my heart and fervent wishes.
  Share your heat on our wedding bed.
  Stay with me through the bitter end.

I watch the ****** on 5th St. dressed to ****
  circle over the wounded with starving appetites
  for all the sweets on display and perfume to up
  temptation for another 5 or 10 for Waffle House.
  Love is easy with fixed price and no strings.
  All I want is someone to eat forever after.

I feel your shadow from above
  hunting me with your eager eyes.
  I always told you of my weakness
tear my love apart with  your lies.
  Keep your talons from my flesh.
  Spare my heart. Ignore my carrion.
  Share your heat on our wedding bed.
  Stay with me through the bitter end.

I watch the ****** on 5th St. dressed to ****
  circle over the wounded with starving appetites
  for all the sweets on display and perfume to up
  temptation for another 5 or 10 for Waffle House.
  Love is easy with fixed price and no strings.
  All I want is someone to hold onto. I still wait.

I watch the ****** on 5th St. dressed to ****
circle over the wounded with starving appetites
for all the sweets on display and perfume to up
temptation for another 5 or 10 for Waffle House.
Love is easy with fixed price and no strings.
All we want is someone to hold onto.

Birkenstock's and halter tops
no bras no rules free love
drink acid from the tea cup
bury God the Father and son
smoke hash eat ****** and
keep your sanity balanced in
space and time we have left
with alarm set to overdose.

Hear the mother's mute
  screams from a waiting room
  the ***** villain with flask
  his baby being forced into
  life is not heard until she's
  born into blinding light a
  world of mistakes forgotten
  on his lonely wedding bed.

Deaf to mother's screaming
  unheard from a waiting room
  the thorny villain with flask
  his baby being forced into
  life is not heard until it's
  born into blinding light a
  world of mistakes forgotten
  on death's lonely wedding bed.
  

In the old days fathers waited in rooms with bad coffee and fuzzy TV and ashtrays full of butts until the nurse summoned us to the nursery window where we saw a stranger looking like Winston Churchill. We ran to the nearest bar to celebrate the new arrival and hand out cigars and buy rounds for the house until the money ran out. We slept alone in our wedding bed for the first time but not the last.

Live or die a tick of time
every life worth a dime
cries of help from a mime
all birth and death a crime.

Delivered from womb to light
blinded by the sun in flight
nobody has an actual face
in this white beeping space.

Wrapped in a tight shroud
my burial a gathered crowd
weep and laugh all so loud
baptized in a raining cloud.

Live or die a tick of time
every life worth a dime
cries of help from a mime
all birth and death a crime.

Delivered from womb to light
blinded by the sun in flight
nobody has an actual face
in this white empty space.