A mime mimicking a mute
   for a living set me on fire in
   ironies hot furnace and it melts
   my metal heart where it beats
   for an eternity in death's grip
   of God's stubborn hands.

I sold my soul for a woman before.
  I turned my back on love for lust,
  a black heart tarnished white knight.
  I want you so badly now. I can't trust
  wild haired beauty singing from rocky
  shores draws me ever closer every night.
  I'm no saint. I've starved for years and
  smell your feast hungering for a bite.  
  I feel death's cold breath on my neck
  strokes gift firework showers of light.
  I'm old and set in ways like a statue.
  I'm safe tucked away for the night.

grow your hair
no underwear
smoking grass
sharing ***
wear Birkenstock's
**** the clocks
be brave, don't doubt
turn on, drop out
Michigan Avenue
we're born anew
paint a full moon
in the living room
nothing as it seems
in midnight dreams.

grow your hair
no underwear
smoking grass
sharing ***
wear Birkenstock's
**** the clocks
be brave, don't doubt
turn on, drop out
Michigan Avenue
we're born anew
paint a full moon
in the living room
nothing as it seems
in midnight dreams.

Youth's grand promises
  begin to yellow and fade
  my hair thins and belly
  grows. I'm finally afraid.
  I buy condoms and ******
  a Corvette and a toupee.
  I go to a discotheque meet
  a Queen. I am a gray gay.

Youth's grand promises
  begin to yellow and fade.
  My hair thins and belly
  grows. I'm finally afraid.
  I buy condoms and ******
  a Corvette and a toupee.
  I go to a discotheque meet
  a Queen. I've nothing to say.

Midnight claws its way tick tock
as I toast my fellow barfly's in
closing time farewells 'till we
live another sad day and meet
tomorrow. Same time. Same stools.
We'll start the countdown again.

I crawl on my hands and knees to the witching hour.
    In agony Midnight, screaming, delivers another day.
    The morning promises fresh hope again a new flower.
    I drown in in the Dead Sea's ***** the final decay.

Drunk as a baboon
under a full moon
I walk the wild  dogs
a pack of wild hogs
drag me near mad
I curse them as bad
I stumble and fall
they lick my jaw
and they pull me up
pup by pup by pup.

I was well into my cups by then
angered by my arrogant cowlick.
I always go to war at midnight
armed with beer's beloved logic.

I juggled scissors and mirrors
snip snip drink more beers.
Wake hungover hair butchered,
wife wanting divorce in tears.

The sky's so clear
  in the atmosphere
  stars perch on a tree
  caged birds set free
  my mind takes flight
  into the cold night
  old lover's heartbeat
  naked in the street
  I'll chase her heat
  I saw her in a window
  her curly hair in a bow
  when I just can't feel
  what's dream or real
  my dogs walk me home.
  I still yearn alone.

The streets are alive with barkers
  and for rent by the hour lovers for
  any taste. Cross dressers and trannys
  confuse your drunken *** with desire.
  You ignore your family and catechism
  kneel in her church swallow the host.

I'm eleven at midnight Mass
  on a precipice of awareness
  girls somehow make me warmer
  I wonder if I can be a charmer
  my heart races Christ is born
  I see **** and lips I am torn
  stand kneel sit pray page eight
  worlds come and go never wait.

Christ was destined to his
****** death in the manger
born from his Holy Mary.
A hundred candles burn
at midnight. Choirs sing the
praises of a doomed child.

In wintry leafless branches
the full moon perched among
my cold breath in splendor
as I heard the Hymns sung
inside those sacred walls
with a shot of holy sin
I fall under a Jesus spell
and join the voices within.

I'm on a cusp of life or death.
     Not quick like suicide, more
     subtle.  Life's habits can be
     harsh on these bodies we've been
     gifted.  Treat it like a church or
     carnival side show. It's our choice.

     Alcohol is weakness or strength
     depending on one's point of view.
     My lab results raised grave concerns
     about my physical well being.
     I'd died long ago when I lost her.
     I knew that I'd regret my choice.

     The truth is when good and bad are
     placed upon the scale of God
     I believe it will favor my good.
     What brought me here was sadness.
     Joy died long ago when I lost her.
     Forgive me for my selfishness.

You're a little past your prime
  but still a handsome woman. I'd
  love to spend a little time
  in a coffee shop and bed.
  I'll wring the last of lust from us
  and leave you not quite dead.

There was a cat if nothing else.
Don't be defined by suffering.
You were so much more than that.
I missed you in the neighborhood
you tore from your life in shame
I'll never understand. Stand tall!

I'm going to the end of time without you.
   I never meant to doubt you but I do.
   They put metals in my blood
   to leave me nearly dead
   then like Lazarus in 3 days cure
   me with their witches ways I'm
   sick and **** and puke and wish
   I could be dead in your dreams.

I knew truth
I screamed it
mute mime
the world blew up at last
silent mime
happened so **** fast
nuclear missiles spoke we
turned to dust hearing silence
Maybe my screams
fell on deaf ears .
conspiracy theory fears
so many wasted years
no time for cheers
no one left for tears.

A sad pack of lies
Omissions of truth
NYT eaten by flies
******* the proof.

Christ, I'm underneath your avalanche.
  I need one of your miracles right now.
  Forget bible verses and pretty nurses
  I need the saving of your sacred cow.
  I'm froze in place like Mount Vesuvius
  captured in our small pieces of living
  as I suffocate I think of you and me
  and wonder at the miracle of forgiving.

I check my morning shaving mirror
for my existence while I disappear,
thankful judging eyes of family
are no witness to my peculiarity.

I stare in a mirror of ice
see myself in paradise
fever warm that night
walking into the light.

Satan drove the church van
into the belly of the beast
Las Vegas sin city stays there
God's light doesn't shine here

I study my skin stretched on bone
And realize I never felt so alone
paralyzed by John Barlycorn
drunk and full of empty storm.

I met her at the ice machine
both of us lived in between
heaven and hell after all
to her room for the fall.

Cotton obsessed, ***** oppressed,
    Southern charm and whipping the help
    mint juleps in the oak tree's shade as
    Delta planters tamed this flooded jungle
    with a thousand slaves bought in kennels
    filled with a savage fear of lost orphans
    from lands beyond reach of our dreams.

    A noble savage we tried to free in Civil War.
    Free to live in squalor with **** schools and
    **** jobs and **** projects to call home.
    Don't fear these truths. Don't stare blind.
    Carry this prayer to your altars and pulpits
    and shout from pews demanding justice.
    Sing of misfortune and tomorrow's hope.

Cotton obsessed, ***** oppressed,
Southern charm and whipping the help
mint juleps in the oak tree's shade as
Delta planters tamed this flooded jungle
with a thousand slaves bought in chains
filled with a savage anger of lost homes
from lands beyond reach of our caring.
A noble savage we tried to free in Civil War.
Free to live in squalor with **** schools and
**** jobs and **** projects to call home.
Don't fear these truths. Don't stare blind.
Carry this prayer to your altars and pulpits
and shout from pews demanding justice.
Sing of misfortune and tomorrow's hope.

Cotton obsessed, ***** oppressed,
    Southern charm and whipping the help
    mint juleps in the oak tree's shade as
    Delta planters tamed this flooded jungle
    with a thousand slaves bought in kennels
    filled with a savage fear of lost orphans
    from lands beyond reach of our dreams.

    A noble savage we tried to free in Civil War.
    Free to live in squalor with **** schools and
    **** jobs and **** projects to call home.
    Don't fear these truths. Don't stare blind.
    Carry this prayer to your altars and pulpits
    and shout from pews demanding justice.
    Sing of misfortune and tomorrow's hope.

I cracked on the subway when the noise
sounded more and more like mother's scold.
I tried putting it out of my mind but found
it was my mind and I froze up cold.

I heard words. Catatonic. Insane. Psychotic.
Taken to my new home in my straight jacket.
It offers amenities like all the pills you can
swallow and **** the insurance! What a racket.

I meet with doctors wearing glasses
smoking pipes asking about nuns
and *** and bathroom habits and dreams
and catholic schools and BB guns.

They say I can have visitors. I'd love to
see you. We have so much to talk about.
I'm so sorry. I never meant for it to happen.
Forgive me. We're watched. I have no doubt.

I was addiction waiting to be
  born into my psyche at puberty.
  I found black tar boiled in a spoon
  shot in veins took me to the moon
  with the earth in shadow I danced
  woke in the gutter pale entranced.

She's troubled and twisted
    my earth bound mistress
    offers me all my dreams
    without faulty promises.

    She lives in constant rain
    but loves without any pain
    and reaches me in places no
    honest woman could ever do.

Those who did the deadly deeds
are now as dead as poison weeds.
Truth will always out finally
then we learn the true history.
CIA and FBI and Dulles brothers
and LBJ and J Edgar. Many others.

I heard a snake hiss
our heated first kiss
love unknown is lust
hearts in blind trust
broke piece by piece
rent by wedded lease.

Noon's boiling sun allows no shade.
   Poison creatures slither and click
   quick to bite or sting warning you
   stay away from their parched paradise.

I hide the truth
swear the lies are true
gaslight my vows
swore an oath to you

Now I'm gonna' **** you
drag life from the bone
flesh feeds the buzzards
we all end up alone.

Vacate your premises! It's only
a moment's notice. I thought
I owned my body but loud
heartbeats in my old ears and
stumbling to ground I knew
I'd be cremated or buried in
a day before I decompose.
Just go ahead and forgive me.

Momma blew her
  brains out loud.
  No one told me why.
  She chose to die.
  It had to be my fault.
  I always made her cry.
  I wished her happy.
  I wrote her poetry
  comedy and tragedy.
  She could have drowned
  or jumped to her death
leaving us without her mess.
  She chose a gunshot instead.
Painted the kid's walls red.

Buried our fun week's end
in work's tilling brutal earth
we reach forever as I bend
pick cotton and giving birth.

I eat my own young
and wives unsung.
I'll meet my maker
Daddy undertaker.

When the monsters come looking for
my heart you keep it hidden in yours.
You always save me from my demons.
Keeping them away from my doors.

Monster Under My Bed

    When that whole Christ as son of god drama
    played as a young catholic I was spellbound.
    When I was older skipping church smoking in
    the woods I doubted but still harbored shame.
    I gave up the holy ghost long ago but the scars
    remain and guilt is the stain follows me like
    shadows even in moonless midnight and I wish I
    believed in prayer to quiet Christ under my bed.

free as the blowing wind
  naked in your dorm room
  where the light will bend
  watch us lost on our moon

  it feels like the first time
  but I'm leaving tomorrow
  no reason and no rhyme
  off to Boston no sorrow.

My brain has become a web
of confusion and delight as
I hold you close dancing out
of step with yearning heart.
I know this place spinning
like a plate on a stick as
I lie in fields in a scarlet
sky with you yearning too.

pretty lies and ugly truths
take your card from the deck
offers only sleight of hand
and a rope around your neck.

Last night's debauchery is washed away.
   The front stoop drenched in morning light.
   Blood fades into a stain that looks like Jesus
   with a wink and smile. That happens in Queens.

   I wake from dark dreams in a room deluged
   in sunlight so bright I'm blind to my ugly
   truths from last night. I could eat a horse.
   I find the diner. That happens in Manhattan.

   The heat is long shut off and I light Sterno
   to melt some ice for a spot of English tea.
   Sunlight won't come this far north past 96th st.
   It knows better. This happens in East Harlem.

Last night's debauchery is washed away.
   The front stoop drenched in morning light.
   Blood fades into a stain that looks like Jesus
   with a wink and smile. That happens in Queens.

   I wake from dark dreams in a room deluged
   in sunlight so bright I'm blind to my ugly
   truths from last night. I could eat a horse.
   I find the diner. That happens in Manhattan.

   The heat is long shut off and I light Sterno
   to melt some ice for a spot of English tea.
   Sunlight won't come this far north past 96th st.
   It knows better. This happens in East Harlem.

She dies inside herself
in her Hospice deathbed.
Lives again in her head.
She's 12 riding horses
on best friend courses.
Dad a John's Island farmer
She was always a charmer
Bette Davis was her name
destiny in this poem fame.

I spent our childhood loving
  you most of the time in mud
  in woods scraped knees and can't
  take my eyes off of you usually.
  So it is you grew up and found a
  lover, surrendered your freedom.
  I hated you for that. I can't take
  my mind off you most of the time.

I'll break my own heart.
I always do. I hate love.
It has fangs and poison
and scorpion tails and
disapproval of Mother.
Never mind the grief.

I'm tap dancing as fast as I can the
    sparks jumping off the sidewalk like
    demon flares half insane in the dark!
    I'd bend over backwards to please you.

    I don't know what rule I've broken but
    I'm sorry. Your brutal silence breaks
    my back. I'm stillborn in a quiet place.
    My dead dreams are angry and screaming.