Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
I'm tap dancing as fast as I can the
sparks jump off of the sidewalk
demon flares half insane in the dark!
I'd bend over backwards for us to talk.

I don't know what cruel rule I've broken.
I'm sorry. Your brutal silence bleeding
my tears. I'm stillborn in a quiet place.
My dead dreams are angry and pleading.
They Trusted Us
by Roderick Falconer


God gave them sad brown eyes,
And faces that were kind;
Kind of faces children love to find
At dawn on Christmas day,
Or look into for sympathy,
When hurting and alone;
Kind of eyes that follow us through life,
And heartbreak, love,
Forsaking never even when all else,
And all the others go away.

When unknown men came walking in,
They brimmed with happy expectations,
Wagging tails, their trusting faces, shining with anticipation, raised.
Without words - it was with souls - they understood,
We were their best friends,
And they were ours.
A double bond, in blood, in love:
Decreed by the creator before the dawning of dawns.
The truth, deep-written on their hearts and ours,
Like something scratched into the walls of prehistoric caves.

One day a man-shaped shadow fell over life,
While it was very fresh and new,
With yet so much unlived,
The young ones were taken, trustingly,
To a room of stainless steel and ultraviolet light.
The puppies licked the hands of those
Who lead them to the obscene edge of arch-betrayal,
Cooperating when injected, too;
A mere pinprick of pain.
And then the world of sensory excitement -
Anticipated joy - went dark,
As drug induced unconsciousness covered them like a shroud.

After that, things would never be the same.

They went trusting, into darkness,
And for just a little while,
A friendly dreamscape comprehended them.
Memory, and instinct, unleashed:
The who and what they would've known in this life on Earth...
Bright shining rivers; hills of green, jeweled with morning dew;
The birds and butterflies and creatures of all kind -
Rejoicing, every one - around the tree of life,
Their beings, amplified beyond our best imaginings.

And to the many-colored scent of life
Bright burning pixels of idolatry, reality,
Carried on currents of intoxicating air,
A remembered presence of their mothers, nuzzling them,
And then, a glimpse of us, as we were meant to be:
Their supernatural guardians, and trusted friends.

That was their final day of innocence,
Before they woke up to the murderous men in white,
With death's infectious bite-marks on their souls,
And antiseptic perfume like clouds of egg-filled flies.
That final sleep was peaceful, without fear,
No sense of what was happening to them in the white room,
Where their sleeping bodies lay.
The horror they would wake into,
Because evil men were selling lives
They hadn't made...
Selling beauty, life, and friendship,
To disfigurement and death.

In unconscious innocence, their necks were shaved,
Preparation for their voices to be surgically excised,
Cut out to insulate their ghoulish torturers
With manufactured quiet,
A counterfeited piece from ugly truth.

Their hound dog voices - barks -
Their howling into distances through woods and neighborhoods,
And deep into night's crystal-starry skies,
Were silenced now, forever.
But what need have they for voices, anyway;
For everything their voices might have meant,
No longer means a thing?

Though mutilated by their trusted friends,
They never could expect the terrors yet to come.
Lab techs didn't look them in the eye,
When they pilloried compliant puppies
To torture tables, set to ****,
Locking little heads inside plastic boxes,
For parasitic insects to eat them while they lived.

Strange arrays of imagery rampaged through their suffering minds,
As pain ran rabid and overtook them, there.
Locked down and unable to run away,
Or even by an act of will, to die.
Torment that they couldn't understand
Was on them like devouring fire.
And with their human friends so near,
And checking all the time,
Why did no one see, or hear,
and no one move to comfort them?
They trusted in us, all the way, it seems.

Howling in their minds was raw electric overload -
High voltage snakes of melted circuitry -
As hordes of hungry jaws gnawed and sawed,
And burrowed into them for many days...

Until at last, some inner life star got impaled.
Imploded, then exploded, and the lights went out.
And they were here, no more -
Just somewhere where there was no pain.

They trusted us;
God's viceroys to the dogs -
Our faithful-to-the-end companions
with a single deadly flaw:

They trusted us.
They Trusted Us | An Original Poem by Roderick Falconer
Evicted from your womb
into the mad carnival
of French clowns and
sideshow barkers who
pass me around and
forever toast my birth
promise shadows as time
just gets away from us.
Long days, years fly by.
The family flies in to be
by your bed as you die
and buried in your tomb.
Marriage

Is it love or is it perseverance?
Good and bad, ups and downs
in the vows for better and worse
and sickness and health
'til death does us part.

I hate it when you flirt when
you've had too much beer.
I tell me that it's harmless
but my fragile ego bruises.

Birth has taken a toll on my
body while you stay Adonis.
You selfish *****! When did
I become your burden and not
your holy mother, your desire
and lust and Aphrodite?
Pregnancy always takes a toll. Sorry.
We weren't happy. Who was?
We were too tired to
start over for another
bout. Come out swinging
keep your fists up high
sick of endless rounds
with no KO's just punch
drunk slurs and morning
shame and mute rituals.
Amazing how good we became,
amnesia and kiss off to work.
Who knows where the time goes?
Will either of us have a shred
of life left when the other finally
dies to lie naked with strangers
just to sleep with your memories
in  fog haunted dreams in the
Spanish moss in swamp trees.
We weren't happy. Who is?
We were too tired to
start over for another
bout. Come out swinging
keep your fists up high
sick of endless rounds
with no KO's just punch
drunk slurs and morning
shame and mute rituals.
Amazing how good we became,
amnesia and kiss off to work.
Who knows where the time goes?
Will either of us have a shred
of life left when the other finally
dies to lie naked with a stranger
just to sleep with old memories?
To be or not to be?
  I paint a black halo around
  your blond hair at midnight
  while you hide the moon from
  me and I wonder at your games.
  It's all intense; music, acid,
  *******, the beautiful things
  I've known, but  not seen lately
  We wait naked in the dark for
  dawn's first vague glimpse of
love in our eyes. We stare blind
and reach into the dark for lovers.
Tin cans off the Marriage
carriage to our honeymoon
too drunk to **** but one
for the road and drive to
Mars and a tree house
with a full moon and years
gone by and kids and
ulcers and shrinks and
finally divorce.
We die together.
Marriage in 10 Acts

attraction
copulation
affliction
reflection
confliction
add­iction
contrition
remission
admission
submission
division
revisio­n
Rainbows and tin cans and stars
all tied behind Honeymoon cars
launched into the great pretend
marriage lasts beyond our end.
Ugly time demands cruel tolls.
Lawyers find easy loopholes.
Life starts in a **** farm
smelling like day old fish.
The oldest boy with charm
the parents get their wish.

PTSD father's nervous love
nurtures Junior's anxiety.
War hero shot down above
prays for son's sobriety.

I am cruel and I am kind,
hate me most of the time.
Lust is love is just blind.
Marriage the worst crime.
What plays out in the spotlights is all you need to see.
  An extravaganza of what our marriage is each day together.
  As you see we were a perfect match from the beginning. Love
  has blessed us with its fruits, our children, a boy and girl.

  We've had our trials. Behind the big top the clowns drink and
  gamble the paychecks away. The beauties on the trapeze grow
  a little fatter with each decaying year and settle for less.
  The strongman is weaker, the human cannonball almost broken.

  The towns on our circuit seem a little more desperate each season.
  We now have just the one ring for our acts of amazing happiness.
  The kids have joined their own circus and we only have ourselves
  wandering in tattered tents alone at The Greatest Show on Earth.
Marty's Mass

  He died sudden like with
  a blood infection that ******
  his heart valve up. He was
  cremated into basic atoms of
  ash reduced to a jar of himself.
  He was always bigger than life
  and the irony is blatant. Thursday
  is a mass for him and I'll be there
  somber faced and heart of tears
  to pay my respects. I want to laugh
  out loud at his stories and jokes
  he told. The man could sell you
  your own soul and you'd thank him
  for saving you! He was a Gentleman.
  That's the greatest compliment ever.
Original sin
  don't let me in.
  I wear hair shirts
  flagellate myself
  confess sins I make up
  for my demanding God
  burn me cut me
  where the hell
  did I come from?
  I pray harder to
  keep us all alive
  with my suffering.
Pretend to be perfect. A Masquerade.
  Age and pounds of flesh will betray.
  We all pour through the hourglass
  swallow anything keep truth at bay.

I'll live a century and we'll all fly.  
I've broken many hearts; mostly mine.
  Let's meet in a Cabaret on Venus and
  Share our dearest sins one more time.
I'm an angry man
war's shattered bones
war's missing limbs
war's burned on skin
Autumn a calm season
full moon bright
through branches
seductive shadows
offering their
forbidden fruit
out of reach for a
man with no arms.
Ring the bell
  open the gate
  to Catholic Hell
  and *******.
  Just do it well
  then celebrate!
Ring the bell
  open the gate
  to Eden's hell
  and *******.
  Just do it well
  then celebrate.
My first time was in a deck of Poker cards.
9 year old fascination
with our *******
lust's fever fingers stroke
logs or  slick tracks to joy.
There's a deep dark Catholic hole
where I bury my guilt. We call it
confession. I think it will melt
the earth with so much sin that
can never be forgiven or buried.
Mountains are our mausoleums.
I pride myself in honesty
after all the years of lies.
No more games don't see
tears as my face just dies.
I write this sonnet to you
purer than our midnight
full moon, *** act one, in
the dead bed in motel 6.
Me
Me
I told my cat to live forever.
   I gave my baby girl away.
   I listen to a song that breaks my heart
   I can't shed a tear or I turn to dust.
   I can't accept my tail end life
   just pick up dog **** and sleep alone.
My life becomes a catalogue of six
things to never do again.
Me
Me
Countless atoms arranged
just so to make this a me.
I'm here and now to write.
I speak for this entity.
I'm almost ready to dance,
finally take that chance,
sing that song of songs,
find that lost romance.
Why hide our madness
  as if we aren't all mad?
  Hatched into being just beasts
  trying not to eat our young.
  We pretend to live normal
  with no idea of what it is.
  We invent big bangs, black
  holes and equations as if
  we understand everything.
  Holy men create fables
  that fit into gold books.
  They speak for their Deity
  feasting on innocents they
  offer to their fake piety.
Living hurts
  we drink medicine
  from shot glasses
  with beer chasers
  ****** in backseats
  in parking lots
  home to wife and kids
  with sweet candy treats.
I met you at a party
  in a house of mirrors.
  A girl with snake hair
  who said she was Medusa.
  We danced in darkness and
  groped our way to love's
  eager bed. Promises made
  to be broken in day's light.
  My face was stone as you
  banished me from your heart.
I met you at a party
in a house of mirrors.
A girl with snake hair
who said she was Medusa.
We danced in darkness and
groped our way to love's
eager bed. Promises made
to be broke in day's light.
My face was stone as you
banished me from your heart.
I met you at a party
  in a house of mirrors.
  A girl with snake hair
  who said she was Medusa.
  We danced in darkness and
  groped our way to love's
  eager bed. Promises made
  to be broken in day's light.
  My face was stone as you
  devoured my soul in flight.
Her hair's alive with snakes hissing
She's electric with boombox laughter
I can't stop dreaming of us kissing.
I'm struck dumb in her shadow like a boy.
I fear what I feel. It resembles lust but I
am a prisoner of this life I almost enjoy.
I met you at a party
  in a house of mirrors.
  A girl with snake hair
  who said she was Medusa.
  We danced in darkness and
  groped our way to love's
  eager bed. Promises made
  to be broken in day's light.
  My face was stone as you
  banished me from your heart.
I met you at a party
  in a house of mirrors
  you snake haired Medusa
  thirsty for my tears.
  We danced in lightning
  groped our way to love's
  eager bed. Promises made
  to be broken in day's light.
  My face was stone as you
  swallowed my soul in flight.
AA.
HOA.
School Board.
Praise the Lord.
Peace Talks.
Cancer walks.
Aid's united.
lover excited.
I'll bring you home in a box
to meet the family tonight
introduce you as my fiance
a diamond so very bright.
Forget the worn out shine
lovers and money earned
***** for rent hourly
necessary lessons learned.
Hold my bleeding heart
   for a thing to tear apart
   and feed it to my lover
   hook and worm above her
   she always takes the bait
   her lips can barely wait
   to tease another worm
   swallow another *****
   I want my parents to meet
   my lust drunk on a street
   I came upon my insanity
   tripped in my stupidity.
In a box in an attic are my memories.
  They smell old and are yellowed;
  Fragile in aged hands as I hold them.
  Distant scenes come back to life.

  There's a boy playing baseball in the dirt.
  I see awkward dance lessons as a kid.
  I smell pizza my sister bought me with
  babysitting money. She was my sanctuary.

  There are summers at the pool with chlorine
  eyes and ****** awakening with Patty 2 piece.
  Midwest heat and storms and lazy discovery.
  Greenhills, Ohio was the center of my universe.
The cruelest ones
etched in stone
Happiest never
find their home.
I forget more as
I reach an age
ones that stay
those of rage.
Just my fireflies
forgot my way
lost in night skies
I cry and pray.
Imprisoned in memories
no escaping if you please
every cruel thing I've done
another bullet in my gun
begging for a final ending
to  ******* pretending.
I will try to tell you about a real me.
I'm not sure I know that version I see.
I love and hate. I always have a bottle and pen
in my hands. The days get shorter and nights
go on forever. I sleep getting used to death's
black infinity. Memories betray my surrender.
Black and white dreams replay my silent movies.
I wake to life's burdens another day. Until I don't.
God ******!
I'm an angry man
war's shattered bones
war's missing limbs
war's burned on skin
Autumn a calm season
full moon bright
through branches
puppets dancing
forbidden fruit
out of reach of
men without arms.
It's always a casual see you later,
  then somehow you leave forever.
  I see your obit on google and wish
  I'd reached out when I still could.
  Here's to our shared misery and joy
  sharing secrets and keeping them.
  Here's to ******* pants laughter
  and a broke piece you left in me.
It's always a casual see you later,
  then somehow you leave forever.
  I see your obit on google and wish
  I'd reached out when I still could.
  Here's to our shared misery and joy
  sharing secrets and keeping them.
  Here's to ******* pants laughter
  and a broke piece you left inside.
I'm nickle plated.
I'm not silver or gold or of real value.
I live in small boxes with cockroaches
and rats living their best lives not unlike
me doing my best to reach brass rings
swirling by brief hopes and promises.
Church bells are mute this time.
Carols are quiet in a silent night.
Tree lights are dark and children
laugh without mirth. It's a funeral.
Christ was aborted from a womb in
a Hollywood motel on 5th and Main.
Return all the toys and ***** candles
and pour the eggnog down the drain.
Elves work in sweatshops in China.
Burn Santa in effigy slaughter his rides
12 fillets and beers on the house
and slippers of reindeer hides.
Just for the record I'm pro choice but don't love or hate me for it.
There's a monster growing in my head.
   It's roots reach deep and push my brain
   into corners where it loses my mind. I
   see ghosts and old lovers on worn knees
   adoring me a Christ child in a manger.
   I tell strangers how I loved our *****.

   Light blinds me at noon and holds me
   prisoner 'til 3am when ***** and pills
   tame monsters so I sleep 'til another
   noonday sun. Burn the monster. Spare
   the town. Midnight mass bright as noon
   sun. Sing as the candles burn me down.
Church bells are mute this time.
Carols are quiet in a silent night.
Tree lights are dark and children
laugh without mirth. It's a funeral.
Christ was aborted from a womb in
a Hollywood motel on 5th and Main.
Return all the toys and ***** candles
and pour the eggnog down the drain.
Elves work in sweatshops in China.
Burn Santa in effigy slaughter his rides
12 fillets and beers on the house
and slippers of reindeer hides.
Church bells are mute this time.
Carols are quiet in a silent night.
Tree lights are dark and children
laugh without mirth. It's a funeral.
Christ was aborted from a womb in
a Hollywood motel on 5th and Main.
Return all the toys and ***** candles
and pour the eggnog down the drain.
Elves work in sweatshops in China.
Burn Santa in effigy slaughter his rides
12 fillets and beers on the house
and slippers of reindeer hides.
A mute mimicking a mime
   for a living set me on fire in
   ironies hot furnace and it melts
   my metal heart where it beats
   silent in death's fierce grip
   pried from God's fingers.
A mime mimicking a mute
   for a living set me on fire in
   ironies hot furnace and it melts
   my metal heart where it beats
   for an eternity in death's grip
   of God's stubborn hands.
A mute child mimicking a mime
   for a living set me on fire in
   ironies hot furnace and it melts
   my metal heart where it beats
after eternity in death's grip pried
from God's stubborn hands.
Next page