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I'm not equipped to be an easy love.
I don't know why. Women can be the
nectar I need and ease my aching heart.
Desire is always offered with an
enormous cost that I'm unable to pay.
I try to make a silk purse from a pig's ear.
I give her pearls and lipstick.
Party girls don't want to meet the parents.
Beauty and perfume
I'm in love with you.
Drunk and dry spell
what else would I do?
*** all the week long,
eating in then eat out.
Turn it up louder song.
MIA at work ants shout.
What is the fuss about?
Fierce *** is never wrong.
I slit my wrist a million times with pieces
of the broken heart's razor sharp deflections
in my attic room Penthouse desire increases
illusion of an endless tunnel of reflections.
mirrors on walls showed me every angle
my naked drunken midnight freedom dance
with my Irish too small little dangle
always chasing the mirage of desert romance.
I broke my own first
maybe it was worst.
It hurt me from Dad
war's scars were bad.
So much love wasted
Lovers barely tasted.
I broke my own heart.
I always fell so short.
The girls loved my me.
I never let it all be.
Silence in dark forever's
betrayed by worthy lovers.
I don't know me anymore.
Am I a monster galore or
lover's I always bought
without a second thought?
There a cuckoo clock on the wall,
I was a kid curious how it worked.
Gramps told me not to touch it.
I moved the chain and it crashed
and broke the cheap lamp below.
That **** destroyed me entirely.
He went from a hero to zero
his hangover destroyed us.
Who owns my epiphany?
  Is you or is it me?
  I broke the machine
  left my part unclean
  blood or oil dried
  gears and cranks died
  screeched to a halt.
  Blame the Gestalt.
I believe my country has died.
Defeated Lady Liberty on her knees
with a Scimitar for her beheading.
Communists crawling into her guts
for the final feeding as we all hold
impotent guns without bullets.
We parted ways after awhile. We had differences.
   I didn't hate or love you. We went our own ways.
   30 years later and you still haunt my dreams.
   Try as I will I can't forget how yours tastes.
I was earthbound all my life,
  then I met you and we had wings
  to fly above the heavens where
  God exists and the angel sings.
  We flew too close to the sun and
  fell into the gravity's rainbows.
  You see us crawling in blue skies
  loud cawing black ink stain crows.
I was earthbound all my life
  then I met you and we had wings
  to fly above the heavens where
  a God exists and an angel sings
  I flew too close to the sun and
  we fell in gravity's rainbow.
  Our love is forever after all.
  We were buried inside my soul.
I was earthbound all my life,
  then I met you and we had wings
  to fly above the heavens where
  a God exists and an angel sings.
  We flew too close to the sun and
  fell into the gravity's rainbows.
  You see us crawling in blue skies
  loud cawing black ink stain crows.
I splash around the ice
while I drink box wine
write this broken verse
nothing could be worse.
I always saw you on my horizon.
I drank to your health and to ours.
I went to meetings and confessed
weakness and drank bland coffee
and ate stale donuts and smoked
an endless chain of cigarettes.
In my cups we danced in the neon.
On bar stools and raucous laughter
with my dreams hiding in liquor's
ugly fog I gave you life and baptism.
Can I ever know normal? I'll be home
at last call when I reach my rope's end.
I always saw you on my horizon.
I drank to your health and to ours.
I went to meetings and confessed
weakness and drank bland coffee
and ate stale donuts and smoked
an endless chain of cigarettes.

In my cups we danced in the neon.
On bar stools and raucous laughter
with my dreams hiding in liquor's
free fog I gave you life and baptism.
Can I ever know normal? I'll be home
at last call when I reach my rope's end.
I always saw you on my horizon.
I drank to your health and to ours.
I went to meetings and confessed
weakness and drank bland coffee
and ate stale donuts and smoked
an endless chain of cigarettes.

In my cups we danced in the neon.
On bar stools and raucous laughter
with my dreams hiding in liquor's
ugly fog I gave you life and baptism.
Can I ever know normal? I'll be home
at last call when I reach my rope's end.
I always saw you on my horizon.
I drank to your health and to ours.
I went to meetings and confessed
weakness and drank bland coffee
and ate stale donuts and smoked
an endless chain of cigarettes.

In my cups we danced in the neon.
On bar stools and raucous laughter
with my dreams hiding in liquor's
ugly fog I gave you life and baptism.
Can I ever know normal? I'll be home
last call when I reach my rope's end.
You're not there to
   meet me anymore,
   just a shadow left to
   greet me like before.
   I heard the news.
   I know you died.
   I tried to conjure
   tears I couldn't cry.
Mad science was my forte.
I brewed the pandemic
that shook the world
into meek submission.
I have another trick
in my petri dish.
Ides of March
     March 15, 2024

Turning point in our decline
Soros' Obama's Biden's crime
on full display all in place.
Never shame, never disgrace.
Proud comrades fill the gulags
that is after all just prologues.
I was so tanned
ocean salt hair
wind blown sand
prisoner's stare
I bled into a wave
sharks showed teeth
guards dug my grave.
My heart I bequeath.
I died last night with
my dead family all
laugh eggnog drunk
I pass through a wall
I die in little bits of me.
Day to day I never see.
Disappearing cells
never ringing bells.
Decades in a mirror
cracks will appear.
I divorced my 7 siblings
blinded by bylines
rabid dogs snapping at lies
from the usual Headlines
The sacred cows. NYTimes,
Washington Post, NPR, CNN,
MSNBC, Mother Jones.
We're in a ceramic fishbowl
drowned upside down bones
flushed down a toilet bowl.
We spent our pain on us in
  for a penny in for a pound.
  Married pregnant in our sin
  teenage hubris will astound
  in the summer of love again
  ripe naked ******* are found.
  The vows made are abandoned
  shame my constant companion
  new love stillborn in manger
  guilt's madness constant danger.
I do
I don't
I would
I won't
I should
I shan't
I could
I can't
I need
your seed
I bleed
you're freed
I never cared.
Pretend heart
never shared
from the start.
How'd it break?
We made it love
my own mistake
an innocent dove.
I say that lie, but I care
for everyone everywhere.
I'm 72 and I'm drunk
and fearless and still
think I'll live forever
even though I know
I'd be the first one and
all my friends are dying
and I can't play checkers
alone or take trips down
memory lane by myself.
You can't read my mind.
You've no idea what it's
like being close to you.
I'm stunned by your beauty.
Your laugh infects me.
Your wild hair brings me
to my knees in adoration.
I cower in fear of my love.
I'm quiet. I'm distant. I dream
of you that night. I write this.
You can't read my mind.
You've no idea what it's
like being close to you.
I'm stunned by your beauty.
Your laugh infects me.
Your wild hair brings me
to my knees in adoration.
I cower in fear of my love.
I'm quiet. I'm distant. I dream
of you that night. I write this.
I think your name is Julie the snake hair girl.
I'll just look the other way
  let you steal my night and day
  silence my words I need to say
  a broken life I'll always pay.
  I'll **** me as an afterthought
  piece of meat you never bought
  from a butcher I never caught
  my beauty you always sought.
Naked burned in my memory
I draw your beauty perfectly.
You ask if I would stay Sunday
Times crossword we will play.
Wake Monday sleet grey day.
Cash only when I leave to pay.
I often dream of you
in ***** dens
in crack houses
insane asylums
you're everyone
I've ever yearned
I dream of you in
hospice morphine.
We broke the Tick or the Tock.
  Not sure which but time has never
  been on time ever since. The world's
  out of sync. We were as one in love.
  You speak in whispered echos from
  shadows now. I barely hear or see
  you anymore. I dream of you perfect.
  One of us is dead without the other.
I drink to enjoy a time without judgement.
    Happy hour is a sacred time to dim my past.
    I float above the pain, guilt and unforgiving.
    All is as it should be. Sleep, dream at last.
I drink your wine and listen
to your heart beat louder as
we tangle in sheets and spend
our last nickle for ******.
Oh, how we laughed!
Humanity unable to be human
breaks my shiver bone's pieces
to choke my spider love again.
Tattooed as my ash blood ceases.
I embrace your sorrow.
I recognize it as my own.
I know your sunken cheeks
of hunger as I know mine.
I think poor and I think
humble but proud, fierce
not looking for a fight
but demanding respect.
In this uncertain world
at this imprecise time
I drink shots of Tequila
with slices of lime.

I snorted the atmosphere
from my ******* spoon
blew out the stars at night
then swallowed the moon.

No longer need to pretend.
At noon I smothered the sun
I brought it all to an end.
We fear God. I killed His son.
In this uncertain world
at this imprecise time
I drink shots of Tequila
with slices of lime.

I snorted the atmosphere
from my ******* spoon
blew out the stars at night
then swallowed the moon.

No longer need to pretend.
At noon I smothered the sun
I brought it all to an end.
We fear God. I had Her gun.
75 and I fell again.
Hurt worse when sober
in the morning sun
in my cold October.
Before I understood love when
I had crushes on girls and teachers
I fell in love with Elizabeth Squires.
She has a kindness few of us have.
She encourages us in the trenches.
She is Aphrodite and Joan of Arc.
Free! I won't have to walk the dogs.
I won't have to put the garbage out.
I won't worry if I can sleep or not.
Am I a drunk? Doesn't matter now.
The guilt that hangs heavy like moss
from the branches of my soul is gone.
If I had a cat I'd call her Quincy.
  If I had a wife I'd call her Jayne.
  If I had a mistress I'd call her up.
  If I had a dog I'd call him Rusty.
  If I could love I'd have a heart of
silk just filled with sawdust.
If I had a heart I'd pray
  If I had a heart I'd stay
  If I had a heart I'd try
  If I had a heart I'd die
  If I had a heart I'd lie
  If I had a heart why?
Is my love a weak whisper?
Is it silent in our loud lives?
You are my contrarian. My trusted advisor.
You mean more to me than you'll ever know.
If I owned the earth I'd make you King.
If I owned my heart I'd make you Queen.
I'd build a symphony for you.
I'd strum folk songs of our love.
You'd hear your song on radio
and tell your friends but they
wouldn't believe you anyway.
You would hum it all day long.
I was hatched into this life.
Egg and ***** agreed to
share a place together.
Happy father and mother.
Parenting is hit and miss
Carousel brass ring
another broken thing.
What else can I bring?
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