Lust is demanding
delivers pleasure.
Love is thoughtful
delivers treasure.
each equal measure

In the backseat with
   barely dressed girls
   I study skin stretched
   on a ****** bone fetched
   by Lust's determined dog
   found in Love's blind fog
   there's always some regret
   that I can't seem to forget.
   You're not what I thought
   but always what I sought.

My life is metaphor and simile
  between Shakespeare and Bukowski.
  Light like Nash, dark like Plath.
  Drunk like Thomas, deep like Yeats.
  I won't go gentle. An honest poet
  slouching to Bethlehem for fame.

Drunk on a shaking plane
escaping myself again.
Everyone wants some.
I bled out and it's all gone.
I love all of you.
I hate all of me too.

Katie was our first born.
Proof of our forever love.
Years evaporate, her scorn
tells us Good Bye shove.

Katie has become estranged.
Old ghosts quiet rearranged
simmering in hidden anger.
Her grandson is a stranger.
Infidelity licks vows away
lust plays music's easy lay.

I'm done with wedding rings,
babies and any other things
that make me walk the plank,
dead still living in a blank,
still pay interest to the bank.
I die with no one to thank.

You are finally facing
my demons left behind.
I am now facing yours
to whom I've been blind.

If I could scream a silent prayer
into eternity I'd whisper I was
a mermaid drawn with crayon
and I enjoyed what was offered
and confessed my tiny sins as
if my ghost soul was real and
*** was just a dream when we
screamed in unison in eternity.

If I could scream a silent prayer
into eternity I'd whisper I was
a piece of chalk and a mermaid
and I enjoyed what was offered
and confessed my tiny sins as
if my ghost soul was real and
*** was just a dream when we
screamed in unison in eternity.

A tune stuck in my brain
about Eve of Destruction
nothing's left the same
no answer just question.
I want to wish I believed
DC  puts us in prisons
I'm finally relieved
clarity of our visions.

God's wrath has no beginning
  or end. It's in my blood and
  bones. It reigns inside my brain
  as a conscience. A nun's whisper.
I drown in my baptism font.
I bathe in the river Jordan.
I drink wine made of the wrath
of an ever present sword of God.

Everybody's angry
Everybody's afraid
Everybody's in love
Everybody's enslaved
Everybody's dying
Everybody will fade
Everybody's lying
Everybody's played
Everybody's misunderstood
Everybody's depraved
Everybody has a god
Everybody prays
Everybody sleeps
Everybody has 1 more day.

Birth and Death and between
we call ticks on the clock life
filled with laughs and tears
first periods and brassieres.
******* a disappointment
raw without the ointment.
Can't remember your name
though you swear I came.

On rainy days I entertain some from Seattle.
   Sunny days remind me of Huntsville friends.
   Christmas brings Cincinnati childhood to me.
   Boston ghosts come in dreams. I love them.
   Catholic school. Deny physical; embrace spiritual.
   The spring flowers are my Tara in Virginia.
   So many angels have found my heart, I can't count.
   My heart is haunted most by my first. Kathy.

On rainy days I entertain some from Seattle.
   Sunny days remind me of Huntsville friends.
   Christmas brings Cincinnati childhood to me.
   Boston ghosts come in dreams of Georgine.
   Catholic school. Deny physical; embrace spiritual.
   The spring flowers are my Tara in Virginia.
   So many angels have found my heart, I can't count.
   My heart is haunted most by my first. Kathy.

Activities on Death Row,
there's always room to grow,
AA, therapy and anger management.
How to share a small apartment.
It's a day too late it seems to me
hangmen never understood irony.

When the beer fueled fury abates
    in the sun's first faint light and
    I stand down and seek forgiveness
    it always takes longer each time.

    The neglect always shows through
    a cheap paint job or plastic shrubs.
    The kid's all dressed in hand me downs
    on the yellow bus without lunch again.

    I have excuses. I collected them for years
    instead of baseball cards. I keep them under
    my mattress. I'll pull one out as needed
    like a magic God to forgive all my failings.

I hadn't heard from you awhile.
They said you put me in exile.
Shave my head and castrate me
I'll never make you again to be.

Just an afterthought
I ruined their lives
lost in haze of wine
club of my ex wives.

I live in a calm place with
    turmoil slightly out of reach.
    Egos clash in mad thunder and
    bury the ghosts in their ground.

    I mow my lawn and water flowers.
    Beyond me war wages and nations
    destroy each other and wear black.
    Families weep, dad's gone forever.

    Our warrior came part way home.
    He was never the sweet man who
    left to war. He's brittle, forever sad.
    We love him in the eye of his storm.

I live in a calm place with
    turmoil slightly out of reach.
    Egos clash in mad thunder and
    bury the ghosts in their ground.

    I mow my lawn and water flowers.
    Beyond me war wages and nations
    destroy each other and wear black.
    Families weep, dad's gone forever.

    Our warrior came part way home.
    He was never the sweet man who
    left to war. He's brittle, forever sad.
    We love him in the eye of the storm.

I was thinking of our
wild drunk forest fire
from years long gone
ashes of lust's desire
sent a Facebook message
to reminisce good times
still ****** about my marriage
  and all my little crimes.

It all started with ****** ticks
every once in awhile. I knew what
was coming. I'd been diagnosed.
My wires were crossed and I was
going to be a twitching scarecrow.

I'll never make love to you and carry
our child to her birth and live in
my dream home or a trailer park.
Here's to you and me what might've been.
Life is a roll of dice on God's felt table.

Women solder circuit boards for hours while
   a man tests their work with his instrument.
   King of the line. He struts like a rooster
   and has his pick among his house of hens.

   He bathes in cologne and goes commando to
   be ready at the drop of a hat or anything.
   He drives a van with a mattress in the back.
   He rocks it at lunch hour which is his limit.

   He thrives in this small world of desperate
   angels giving love but never knowing him.
   He kisses the girls then makes them cry.
   Love is fire until a factory whistle blows.

Women solder circuit boards for hours while
   a man tests their work with his instrument.
   King of the line. He struts like a rooster
   and has his pick among this house of hens.

   He bathes in cologne and goes commando to
   be ready at the drop of a hat or anything.
   He drives a van with a mattress in the back.
   He rocks it at lunch hour which is his limit.

   He thrives in this small world of desperate
   angels giving love but never knowing why.
   Love is true until a factory whistle blows.
He kisses the girls then makes them cry.

Women solder circuit boards for hours while
   a man tests their work with his instrument.
   King of the line. He struts like a rooster
   and has his pick among this house of hens.

   He bathes in cologne and goes commando to
   be ready at the drop of a hat for anything.
   He drives a van with a mattress in the back.
   He rocks it at lunch hour which is his limit.

   He thrives in this small world of desperate
   angels giving love but never knowing him.
   He kisses the girls then makes them cry.
   Love is fire until a factory whistle blows.

A leaf
floats onto a stone
that felt alone
and gave it belief
in a God's love
never seen
vast machine
from high above

I drink Your Chardonnay blood
I eat Your Triscut ******* flesh
flush my sins in my holy flood
Still say small prayers. God bless.

Memories like anorexic hangars
inside the closet out of sight.
The sun inside the Frigidare
keeps my secrets in the dark.

I knew things changed when
the moon was gently rocking
in the breeze in a creek
since falling from the sky.

Now you know my frailties.
I'm insecure and eaten up
with doubts. I can't even
imagine keeping you happy.

Memories like anorexic hangars
inside the closet out of sight.
The sun inside the Frigidaire
keeps my secrets in the dark.

I knew things changed when
the moon was gently rocking
in the breeze in a creek
since falling from the sky?

Now you know my frailties.
I'm insecure and eaten up
with doubts. I can't even
imagine happily ever after.

I don't know how to feed
any kind of starving need
unless it makes me bleed
and plants unrest's seed
in full moon frozen glow
with nothing left to show
and nowhere left to go
near death's dark shadow.

Fall in love a million times
with everyone you meet and
go there with them and never
regret what you screamed for.

I walked the earth
looking for our love
hiding in some nook
or cranny a false alarm
broke heart and charm
you bring me to my knees
I pray and pleasure
what it takes to please.

She said she was pregnant.
I proposed with a ring she
said I'll think about it.
She strung me out then
she was in horrible pain
I carried her into Emergency
and saved her life ectopic
fetus dying in tubes.

Hookers and runaways
god we love strangers
brothers and sisters
embracing our dangers.

We sell ourselves out
**** and fancy dinner.
I buy lottery tickets.
I am never the winner.

Bring home leftovers
for the howling pack
a fight for my bones
for a midnight snack.

They always say
you're not supposed to fight
in front of your kids.
Everybody fights
in front of their kids.
That's family.

I meet strangers I've known for years.
  Awkward catching ups, names forgotten.
  So many kids. Who the hell is whose?
  Old and fat and sagging jowls everywhere.
  We were the youth who knew it all then.
  Who planned this? Don't ever do it again!

We're all seeds scattered to the wind.
Years have hardened our thoughts,
Now we meet as strangers with a
small piece that seems familiar.
Awkward. Let's talk about the past
we've all tried so hard to forget.

We're all seeds scattered to the wind.
Years have hardened our thoughts,
Now we meet as strangers with a
small piece that seems familiar.
Awkward. Let's talk about the past
we've all tried so hard to forget.
Remember when?
I'd rather we were dead.

Do you know these people
  dirt poor with joyful eyes?
  No tears or pity asked they
  work hell's cloudless skies
  every meal fatback and beans  
  sharecropper hands of stone
  Sunday overalls starched go
  to Church praise Jesus, atone.

Raise your beers to us common men.
We wear denim and carry lunches to
rough jobs with rough hands packed
by rough wives in rough drafty homes.
We raise kids with rough love who can
endure in rough times and love men
with rough ways. We are common folk.
We're no different than the rest of you.

Raise your beers to us common men.
We wear denim and carry lunches to
rough jobs with rough hands packed
by rough wives in rough drafty homes.
We raise kids with rough love who can
endure in rough times and love men
with rough ways. We are common folk.
We're no better than the rest of you.

I barely beat the dawn home.
It was a long night more alive
than ever. I'll die later on.
****. Coke. Jack. Lust. Love.
My humors keep me balanced.
All is right with the world.
Lust is never too old or too drunk.
I'll crawl into the city again
and find the fast lane and jump
the tracks into the stratosphere.
I burn brightest for an instant
and die inside you satisfied at last.

I could've been at his deathbed. Maybe offered
      some solace and comfort and sent him off
      with a proper "God's speed"!
      I Declined an Invitation to My Father's Death.
      I might've played right into his hands and now
      guilt plagues me as I listen to sad songs and
      write sad poetry and hope I remember to call my son
      tomorrow so that maybe he'll be at my death bed.

I could've been at his deathbed. Maybe offered
      some solace and comfort and sent him off
      with a proper "God's speed"!
      I Declined an Invitation to My Father's Death.
      I might've played right into his hands and now
      guilt plagues me as I listen to sad songs and
      write sad poetry and hope I remember to call my son
      tomorrow so that maybe he'll be at my death bed.

Blood is thicker than water
   come hell or angry daughter
   she hides me in her heart
   until my troubles depart
   holds me like a child tonight
   with fists ready for a fight.

My roommate was one of a kind.
  "******' A, Chump", belonged to him.
  He gulped life like a drowning man.
  He wasn't handsome but he had charisma.

  I worked in Waltham, Mass. We were all
  misfits but smart as whips! We kept the
  DECSystem 10 computers serving brainiacs.
  We worked and partied hard. The olden days...

They trust our blind allegiance
    to their lies in their arrogance
    acquiesce for money or *** again.
    Blackmail us always with our sin.
    Billions of humankind rising tide
    against your sterile smug genocide.

A butterfly floats on summer breezes.
  Love weighs a god zillion pounds and
  has a billion moving parts and can't.
  I love you in panic and breakdowns.
  Hold me aloft and teach me to fly
  so I can love before I finally die.