I met you in the bar and
I'll wander through the pages
of your life as you do mine.
Our secrets are well hidden
in crevices never found.
Only years reveal truths
as trust erodes fears and I
know you won't leave me.

Everyone fears their God.
Some say I don't believe.
Thunder breaks their resolve.
We will all soon leave
quaint fallacy behind
we see more clearly now, but
we've never been more blind.
It's driving me mad.

Mad science was my forte.
I brewed the pandemic
that shook the world
into meek submission.
I have another trick
in my petri dish.

grow your hair
no underwear
smoking grass
sharing ***
wear Birkenstock's
**** the clocks
be brave, don't doubt
turn on, drop out
Michigan Avenue
we're born anew
paint a full moon
in the living room
nothing as it seems
in midnight dreams.

Marty's Mass

  He died sudden like with
  a blood infection that ******
  his heart valve up. He was
  cremated into basic atoms of
  ash reduced to a jar of himself.
  He was always bigger than life
  and the irony is blatant. Thursday
  is a mass for him and I'll be there
  somber faced and heart of tears
  to pay my respects. I want to laugh
  out loud at his stories and jokes
  he told. The man could sell you
  your own soul and you'd thank him
  for saving you! He was a Gentleman.
  That's the greatest compliment ever.

Blood is thicker than water
   come hell or angry daughter
   she hides me in her heart
   until my troubles depart
   holds me like a child tonight
   with fists ready for a fight.

adrift in the sea that is humanity
    where we meet by chance in water's
    fickle movements. I want to hold you
    only for a clock tick to love you
    for a lifetime. we'll float apart in
    stormy seas and be with other debris
    clutching and touching and trusting
    in another lifetime in a second.
we believe in god and miracles
but we can't find our way home.

November 22, 1963, 12:30 p.m. (CST)

The Patsy pulled aside the curtain
the Deep State Wizards showed
us they owned us and the rest
of the USA and they will bury
us like Khrushchev promised
we balance on the edge of
the precipice one last chance
JFK died on the final hill.

We haven't spoken
since one of us died,
old bonds broken.
The other one cried.

Cheap wine and cigarettes
    classical music on a tinny
    sounding radio in a garret
    writing poetry to other
    lost souls in Boston and
    Southie and Sommerville
    and anyone who ever lit
    a candle for lost souls.

    We poets die each night.
    Our poems are lost in waves
    of cheap wine as we surrender
    to night's promises of a better
    tomorrow. Another chance to grab
    the brass ring on wooden horses.

    We wake with scraps of paper
    bearing witness to last nights
    binge of accidental brilliance.
    We stitch them back together
    best we can and offer them as
  poetry to anyone who cares.

They haunt dreams and Oh!
how we cry! Aunt Blanche
drinks wine and smokes her
cigarettes and calls me Kid.
She loves me, doesn't judge me,
knows my horrible love better
than I ever could. It's in flak
that rips an airman from the
sky in wars that leave us to
bail out from burning love.

I'm barely awake from a dream. I
    need to call home. 6 Alcott Lane,
    Greenhills. Is my room still there?
    Is the Xavier pennant still nailed to
    the wall, and Christ on the cross?
    That room was my growing up womb.
    
    I found my *** in that room. I puked
    beer in that room. I played with my
    plastic super heroes in that room. I
    was sent to that room when I told my
    parents that I got Kathy pregnant.
    I know there's no going home again.

Gateway to adult is 17.
Desired yet forbidden
flattered and unsure
keep them hidden.
Boys swim around you
smelling woman's blood
you blush each month
enduring the flood.

I saw God's spark set me in motion.
     Hell broke loose and molten metals
     exploded into a universe too big to
     imagine. Light begot light and suns
     were born. Globes crashed into globes
     stars blinked in night's black canvas.
     One burst light of a thousand suns
     blinded me in my tiny eternity gone.

Thanks for birthing me!
   If not for you I'd be an ink spot.
   The only thing I ask is you
   reduce me to my essence.

   Rid me of ******* verbiage
   and self absorbing preening.
   We know you've suffered in
   ways known only to you.

   Show my unspoken words;
   The ugly truths of shame
   that will send me to hell.
   Expose the heinous me.

There's anger
in the chamber
no love lost
with a stranger
remind me to keep
track of every sin:
I'm trying
I'm lying
I'm crying
I'm spying
I'm flying off
the handle again.

I want to Howl like Ginsberg.
  Shock you with the ugly truths
  slap your face with my ****.
  I want to be arrested like
  Lenny Bruce for blue comedy.
  Ride the rails and be a Beat Poet
  while I wring every ounce out.
  I want to suffer 'til I can puke
  it onto the page at 3 am and
  ring your bell and hold on
  all night and wake sane again.
I seek truth in needles. I Howl!

I'm a fat old lonely toad
near the end of my road.
I have no helpful advice
except to just think twice,
throw birdseed not rice,
never naughty but nice.
Cruel kids **** me in fire.
I die within my desire.
Nothing's really left.
Life is a small theft.

When my turn comes
I'll disappear like those
before me. I won't ask
why I must disappear.
There's a reason for it
I'm sure. She said so.

I'll dance with forbidden
and kiss girls forgiven
drink the devil's brew
as if we never knew
we'd turn a final scene
and both end up clean.

Playing with toys and jealously.
Now you spit me out in anger
no more games. No more friendly.
I feel the heat. I sense a danger.
I hear your rattle before a bite
venom saved just for me after all
I offer my vein to take your spite
pride a haughty spirit before a fall.

The thirst never leaves
feed me sate me please.
You brought temptation
a paper bag invitation.
My throat is dry dust
promises die in trust.

Quiet my baby screams
rub ***** on my gums
such tiny taste it seems
hand me loaded guns.

My life is imploding all
around me. Block by block
is demolished making room
for some brave new world
for versions of a new us
state control tech drones.

I don't want anybody's pity
or donations to my losses.
I've been young and pretty.
I've been nailed to crosses.

White widow dances free
Sapphic lover's get a key
*** toys no longer hidden
bigger is better for kitten.

I will do this.
I will do that.
I'll even do that.
I will never do
that other thing!

Can I spin gold from straw
or straw from gold
or good from bad or make
promises and break them?
I deal in snake oil and magic.
Never give me your heart.

I lived in rough waters
the puddles of fathers.
Drama's beauty queens
all their broken dreams.
Go marry your fantasies
give it all on your knees.
Another drink I'm healed.
You were made in a field.

Clocks count our fleeting time
ticking our numbered heartbeats
as we die in forgotten seconds
calendars so full of life's defeats.

Disappearing magician
  I lose myself in a crowd.
  We wake in a bed of roses
  naked, screams upon a cloud.
  You were always Aphrodite
  just out of reach fantasy
  love is lusts faded shadow
  never noticed we let it be.

I'm a forgone conclusion
    and an empty promise.
    My words fail to inspire.
    My loves are always lost.
    Trouble always finds me.
    Read between the lines and
    find the real me with you
    in my heart on my sleeve.

I miss Aunt Elizabeth and
Aunt Blanche with the chickens
and Aunt Blanche with Mike
and the mansion in Glendale
with books changed my life
and piano I made noises
that stole my heart again
life running out of sand.

He died a long time ago
but lives inside us each
he's every inch we grow
never outside his reach.

A forever after universe
breathe his magic dust
infinite prayer and curse
always doubt and trust.

If it stays empty I might find my way back
  to my job and family and a dog named Jack.
  I might become a poet printed in a magazine
  or put in the Anthology of Poets of 2016.
  I might be an astronaut and jump on the moon
  or despair and slit my wrist in the afternoon
  maybe cook elixir for a syringe in my spoon
  overdose during Jeopardy not dead too soon.

I saw a dying brother bleed out.
I watched a madman **** his flock.
Parades celebrated the funerals.
Little boys masquerading as men
played war. Real men died for mud.
Loved ones prayed their rosaries.
No prayers were ever answered on
our street. Gold stars filled sad
windows. Widows cried in private.
They never wanted to dance again.

She told me about herself
her growing up and more.
I ordered shots. God help me.
To the head, out the front door
the French leave set me free
from the blind dating bore.
I saw her hail a cab to escape
her blind date, such a bore.

Lust is brutal and raw
   heart in a shark's jaw.
   Absolutely pure desire
   humans' procreation fire.
   We devoured us forever
    then found a new lover.

Do I exist as I or us?
Can you be alone or
are you a part of me?
We must memorize
the truth as it is told
over the mind Net.
Our sky is yellow.
Our meat is farmed
inside a test tube.
We procreate alone,
hallucinate  together.
I don't feel pain or
loneliness. I never
cried but miss it.

Frail boy sings for his supper.
Fat lady sings loud and proud.
The doctor takes another upper
wraps lonely corpse in a shroud.
Children are objects of sick desires
nothing is off the table after all
nothing can extinguish the fires
innocent dead dance at their ball.

We bury a great Lady
who kept us safe since
1886. She was ***** and
pillaged from DC vipers
in thousand dollar suits
and 500 dollar haircuts
thousand dollar ******
and selling the country
piece by piece as jobs
disappeared and they
became billionaires and
we wept at our burials.

When the night seems
   forever cold and alone
   desiring selfish dreams
   hearing him on a phone

   that just wouldn't ring
   sweat in uneasy slumber
   here's the actual thing
   he calls a wrong number

   our love is still alive
   we were so **** perfect
   I know we always thrive
   always a perfect defect!

I was earthbound all my life,
  then I met you and we had wings
  to fly above the heavens where
  a God exists and an angel sings.
  We flew too close to the sun and
  fell into the gravity's rainbows.
  You see us crawling in blue skies
  loud cawing black ink stain crows.

We circle the sky above you
as you die in your own *****
numb with a needle in a vein.
We eat the dead leaving bones
for proper burial and salutes.
Flag buried was made in China.

Ginsberg's Howl is full of
   people and places, food, music,
   suicides, ***, madness, drugs
   and unusual language. Earth.
   He landed here from the moon
   and cracked the poet's world in 2

   I write of *** madness drugs
   and reluctant blessings from
   those doomed to love me always
   Let us dance on the head of a pin
   and vanish in a puff of smoke
   while they all lose their minds.

With war painted eyes
weapons between thighs
in Boston's combat zone
tempting men all alone
smelling the pungent bait
pay a fee there is no wait
you always want it pure
no promise nothing sure
no heartache to endure
kiss a wife at the door.

I have a cat with one eye
can't control her eating
I can't tell you why
eats when heart's beating.
Leaves ***** art on floor
to clean it up seems cruel
she always leaves more
it turns into a puke duel.

Dragging the strip long ago
  smooth thin fem boys glow.
  Made up as fairies grow
  into *******'s final blow.
  Poppers they take more
  inches, delightful score.
  Rod died from Aids.
  Memory never fades.

Buried our fun week's end
in work's tilling brutal earth
we reach forever as I bend
pick cotton and giving birth.

Crazed warriors armless,
anything but harmless
kicking bombs into nets
quiet church no regrets.
Beckham did it best of all
master of the Soccer ball.