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163 · Feb 2023
Love Letters
Love letters
lost in translation
are always buried treasure
hidden in plain sight.
Sleep in Absinthe
and dream reality.
Wake in his catbox.
Claws on your neck
accused of infidelity
embrace our pretend.
163 · Sep 2022
Time Stands Still
Time stands still. My movie
plays on in stalled flashes
I imagine us back in the day
relive mistakes left in ashes.
Clock hands frozen at 9:23 pm
tock is silent like French leave
I drink to forget and remember
like the God I want to believe.
162 · Oct 2022
My Own War
I started it at birth
when evicted to light
tiny fists clenched
begging for a fight.
Angry always angry
Punch you in a bar
buy you a sorry drink
drive you in my car.
I'm the only war dead
buried in my sick head
I surrender to myself
I lie dead on a bar shelf.
161 · Jul 2023
Poetry Rejection Letters
Lover anticipation for a yes
on a knee anybody's guess.
We thank you for trying
you know you are dying
maybe the next poetry
will be of our quality.
161 · Mar 2021
Broken Warriors
The war was won the men came home
   broke but ready to fill the cradles
   and cry on the shoulders that matter
   and smell of the remembered perfume.
   They spent the venom into wombs to
   bring corpses back from ugly death.
160 · Feb 2023
Old Lonely Toad
I'm a fat old lonely toad
near the end of my road.
I have no helpful advice
except to just think twice,
throw birdseed not rice,
never naughty but nice.
Cruel kids **** me in fire.
I die within my desire.
Nothing's really left.
Life is a small theft.
160 · Aug 2024
My Life Grows Up Around Me
Our lives grow up around us built
    from debris near at hand. Beer,
    laughs, anger, *****, *****, tears,
    shame, coffee, job, lust, ***, love,
    marriage, kids, dog, house, debt, day
    after day, separation just a prelude
    to divorce, child support, paycheck
    to paycheck, kids on odd days, odd
    lovers in weird spaces, gray hair,
    AA, church, bars, DUI, court, AA,
    kids on even days, ex moves on and
    marries, downsized, severance pay,
    coast for a few months, broke,
    evicted, rent an attic, read
    poems, write poems, smoke, drink,
    my life grows up around me.
160 · Oct 2021
I Set Fire to Love
I gave you my heart but
knew you couldn't keep it.
I'm still expecting you to
hold on to Love to a finish
line that doesn't even exist.
I set fire again and never look
back. I smell the burning
flesh. I hear familiar screams.
The burning flesh is mine alone.
The screams are in my head.
160 · Oct 2021
Street People
Misery of corpses living on the street
pushing baskets with their lives inside.
They see truths with their dead eyes
while yearning for a crust of bread
or kind word or smile or proper grave.
They too were children playing among
fields of gold with mothers tucking
them in at night singing lullabies.
159 · Nov 2021
1968 Far Out
1968 Far Out

Wear Birkenstock's
ignore the clocks
grow your hair
forget underwear
be brave don't doubt
turn on and drop out
Naked on Alcott Lane
only myself to blame
I paint a full moon
inside our living room
sleep inside acid dreams
nothing is as it seems.

2021 Old Times

Obey the clocks take
your pills that make
you kind of normal
a bit less formal
*** will break you
I welcome my rue
I dream of our first
time to quench thirst
in tall grass Romeo
and Juliet long ago
so much life lived
so little still believed
159 · Sep 2022
Hounds of Hell
I'm ****** and Genghis Khan
Chuck Manson and Joe Stalin
I'm the monsters under beds
evil clowns coming up stairs
who denied Christ thrice and
left my kids in an orphanage
while I ****** a fallen nun
in Boston. I was saved against
my will. Shrinks gave me pills
to keep hell's hounds at bay.
159 · Oct 2023
Red Ants
They're hills are huge,
defeat us in numbers
and never give up ever
and always remember.
Marx. Lenin. Stalin. Mao.
Senate and congress now
in broken USA anyway
middle class dead today.
158 · Mar 2021
Nam Vets
agent orange in the wind
kept our eyes burning
as the fortunes of the war
just kept on turning
now we're just gray and angry
for the friends long dead
without any proper goodbyes
words  from the heart unsaid
158 · May 2022
Alchemy Bar
The bottles in mirrors
in bar light infinity
Alchemy potions to
bring you serenity.
She looks at you, smiles,
spins straw into lead
I doubt all I once knew
realize I'm finally dead.
158 · Nov 2021
Poets Bleed Out Loud
They want to be heard for their poems.
Money has no eye for  some Bukowski.
Dylan Thomas would have been ignored.
Genius has no formula to chalk on boards.
Poets want a public square to nail their
personal crucifixions and bleed out loud.
158 · May 2024
Strobe Light
Lightning flashed that night
frequent like a strobe light
an old time silent movie
we loved quiet and free.
158 · Apr 2022
Dementia
She comes and goes. My wife in
   an instant becomes a stranger
   a vacant stare. Holds her purse
   tighter to her fearing my danger
   There's a loose thread in her mind
   she keeps pulling until she holds
   the end and everything is gone but
   me. She sees it slip from my hand.
157 · Jul 2021
Inevitable
It waits around a corner.
She haunts your dreams.
Under your bed fluid beast
bleeds through your seams.
You wake in the sunlight.
Wonder at the blood
God's intervention
takes hold of the flood.
157 · Mar 2022
Lady Valium
My shrink introduced us.
She came with me everywhere.
She made the world a ghost I
never had to fear. Lady ******.
We slept together. We dreamed together.
We were married for 15 years.
The happiest years I can't remember.
I still love her. I had to **** her.
157 · Sep 2023
Perfect Defect
When the night seems
   forever cold and alone
   desiring selfish dreams
   hearing him on a phone

   that just wouldn't ring
   sweat in uneasy slumber
   here's the actual thing
   he calls a wrong number

   our love is still alive
   we were so **** perfect
   I know we always thrive
   always a perfect defect!
157 · Oct 2022
Old People
What stool softener do you use?
Where's the cheapest Fixodent?
I was a ****** in my last life.
Old is a smell you never forget.
157 · Mar 2021
Closing Time Waltz
When the bar lights blink off and on
  and last call announced half hour ago
  we calculate the odds as drunken sailors.
  The bar is full of sirens calling from shore.
  These beauties must've appeared recently
  cause I never saw them earlier. We take
  their measure and like dancers we choose
  partners and meet near the door and waltz
  away together into the night. We find our
  way to beds holding on to this life raft
  as desperate lovers often do. We love
  the best two drunk strangers can do.
  We wake in morning light blinking.
  We'll always do this dance again.
157 · Nov 2023
Soccer Church
Crazed warriors armless,
anything but harmless
kicking bombs into nets
quiet church no regrets.
Beckham did it best of all
master of the Soccer ball.
157 · Jul 2024
Disappear
Never live or die
just disappear fly
too fast to splatter
too small to matter.
156 · Mar 2023
Rose Color Glasses
I lost faith in faith
and belief in belief
when you broke my
rose color glasses.
I see evil people
lusting for control
of mankind in cages
dancing on stages
**** the unwanted
the old the gimps
hookers and pimps
darkies and spics
addicts on trips.
156 · Apr 2023
Lust is Raw
Lust is brutal and raw
   blood in a shark's jaw.
   Absolutely pure desire
   humans' procreation fire.
   We devoured us forever
   always find a new lover.
156 · Sep 2021
Little People
they take our orders
  clean our tables after
  fractured smiles always
  with an eye on the clock
  coins left like charity
  count it fingers crossed
  feed the kids or keep
  them warm or buy a pint
  and dime bag to feel a
  little like a big shot.
155 · Jul 2022
Perfect Love
I've been chasing you forever
broken hearts left behind
love smoke in fingers never
a real ghost I will ever find.
155 · Dec 2020
She Never Leaves
I'll sprout again
  like stubborn sin.
  Kiss me goodbye
  but I'll refuse to die.
  I haunt your heart
  and I won't depart.
  I am a forever stain,
  I won't leave again.
155 · Jan 2021
Joe Cocker
God took an angel's voice then
mixed it with a fish wife's bark
and dragged it through a dive bar
with smoke and screaming ******
and put it in Toulouse-Lautrec
added 2 parts stage sweat and a
spasmodic rhythm movement and
gifted mankind with Joe Cocker.
He's a Mad Dog and Englishman.
155 · Jul 2022
Perfect
It's just a perfect day.
We are just perfect.
Our puzzle fits perfect.
Arguments end perfect.
*** in an out perfect.
Proposal on knee perfect.
Wedding was perfect.
Baby girl was perfect.
Hampton's house perfect.
Night's at work perfect.
Hotel rooms are perfect
with my lover so perfect.
Divorce sad but perfect.
Visitation almost perfect.
Proposal on painful knee.
lover showing perfect.
baby growing perfect.
it's just a perfect day?
155 · Aug 2023
Bill Gates
Everything is currency
buy whatever you see
easy for you not to care
just another billionaire.
Have a little more fun.
  Charge us a fee for sun.
We pay you for breath.
    You rent graves at death.
         Subscription only accepted.
        Miss a payment be evicted.
155 · Feb 2023
The Devil's Pawn
When my demons win I'll live in fear
    in ugly memories just before the dawn.
    In a hall of mirrors truths are blurred
    and all I tell are lies, the devil's pawn.
    We stretch light. We slow time. We fill our
    veins with black tar. We welcome the flight.
    It never lasts but the next taste is the final
    shot that will hit the top. Follow the light.
155 · Sep 2020
Khmer Rouge
Cambodia
Prison camp S-21
Angkor kills but does not explain

your blood bleeds into my veins
so I can feel your pains
whatever god you pray to
beg for deliverance.
In the good old USA we are
unaware of unseen suffering.
Usually but not always.
we met at a wedding and
you shared your story
in broken English until
I understood that you
had been in the killing fields.
155 · Dec 2021
Man's Best Friend
They Trusted Us
by Roderick Falconer


God gave them sad brown eyes,
And faces that were kind;
Kind of faces children love to find
At dawn on Christmas day,
Or look into for sympathy,
When hurting and alone;
Kind of eyes that follow us through life,
And heartbreak, love,
Forsaking never even when all else,
And all the others go away.

When unknown men came walking in,
They brimmed with happy expectations,
Wagging tails, their trusting faces, shining with anticipation, raised.
Without words - it was with souls - they understood,
We were their best friends,
And they were ours.
A double bond, in blood, in love:
Decreed by the creator before the dawning of dawns.
The truth, deep-written on their hearts and ours,
Like something scratched into the walls of prehistoric caves.

One day a man-shaped shadow fell over life,
While it was very fresh and new,
With yet so much unlived,
The young ones were taken, trustingly,
To a room of stainless steel and ultraviolet light.
The puppies licked the hands of those
Who lead them to the obscene edge of arch-betrayal,
Cooperating when injected, too;
A mere pinprick of pain.
And then the world of sensory excitement -
Anticipated joy - went dark,
As drug induced unconsciousness covered them like a shroud.

After that, things would never be the same.

They went trusting, into darkness,
And for just a little while,
A friendly dreamscape comprehended them.
Memory, and instinct, unleashed:
The who and what they would've known in this life on Earth...
Bright shining rivers; hills of green, jeweled with morning dew;
The birds and butterflies and creatures of all kind -
Rejoicing, every one - around the tree of life,
Their beings, amplified beyond our best imaginings.

And to the many-colored scent of life
Bright burning pixels of idolatry, reality,
Carried on currents of intoxicating air,
A remembered presence of their mothers, nuzzling them,
And then, a glimpse of us, as we were meant to be:
Their supernatural guardians, and trusted friends.

That was their final day of innocence,
Before they woke up to the murderous men in white,
With death's infectious bite-marks on their souls,
And antiseptic perfume like clouds of egg-filled flies.
That final sleep was peaceful, without fear,
No sense of what was happening to them in the white room,
Where their sleeping bodies lay.
The horror they would wake into,
Because evil men were selling lives
They hadn't made...
Selling beauty, life, and friendship,
To disfigurement and death.

In unconscious innocence, their necks were shaved,
Preparation for their voices to be surgically excised,
Cut out to insulate their ghoulish torturers
With manufactured quiet,
A counterfeited piece from ugly truth.

Their hound dog voices - barks -
Their howling into distances through woods and neighborhoods,
And deep into night's crystal-starry skies,
Were silenced now, forever.
But what need have they for voices, anyway;
For everything their voices might have meant,
No longer means a thing?

Though mutilated by their trusted friends,
They never could expect the terrors yet to come.
Lab techs didn't look them in the eye,
When they pilloried compliant puppies
To torture tables, set to ****,
Locking little heads inside plastic boxes,
For parasitic insects to eat them while they lived.

Strange arrays of imagery rampaged through their suffering minds,
As pain ran rabid and overtook them, there.
Locked down and unable to run away,
Or even by an act of will, to die.
Torment that they couldn't understand
Was on them like devouring fire.
And with their human friends so near,
And checking all the time,
Why did no one see, or hear,
and no one move to comfort them?
They trusted in us, all the way, it seems.

Howling in their minds was raw electric overload -
High voltage snakes of melted circuitry -
As hordes of hungry jaws gnawed and sawed,
And burrowed into them for many days...

Until at last, some inner life star got impaled.
Imploded, then exploded, and the lights went out.
And they were here, no more -
Just somewhere where there was no pain.

They trusted us;
God's viceroys to the dogs -
Our faithful-to-the-end companions
with a single deadly flaw:

They trusted us.
They Trusted Us | An Original Poem by Roderick Falconer
154 · May 2024
Love is Slippery
Love is slippery full of lies.
I hear promises feel your heat
seduction into my secret garden.
Feast on my sacred ****** treat.
I love you beauties
   I fear your stings
   Scorpions in showers
   Snakes in G-Strings
   poison in my coffee
   Love always brings.
I've always been a little boy in time out; a broken heart is all that I have to offer you after all. I'm Love's coward!
153 · Feb 2021
The Church of Bill
We worship on bar stools in smokey
  churches with neon gods and clergy
  behind the altar with the holy blood
  bottled in rows in front of mirrors.
  Our hymns play on a jukebox while
  we sway in harmony feeling the grace
  flowing between our souls as one.
  Our bible is the newspaper and we
  confess our sins to each other.
  At last call we're given absolution.
153 · Dec 2024
Live then Die
We live
then die
we laugh
and cry
wonder why
still try
to pray
for a day
He comes again
we answer sin.
153 · Mar 2022
False Alarm
She said she was pregnant.
I proposed with a ring she
said I'll think about it.
She strung me out then
she was in horrible pain
I carried her into Emergency
and saved her life ectopic
fetus dying in tubes.
152 · Apr 2023
Watercolor
A drop of blood in rain
makes a watercolor,
as wine spilled on a letter
to a secret lover.
I paint with words.
You pose for these lines
heavy with lust, lost loves
over many lifetimes.
152 · Sep 2022
If I Had a Heart
If I had a heart I'd pray
  If I had a heart I'd stay
  If I had a heart I'd try
  If I had a heart I'd die
  If I had a heart I'd lie
  If I had a heart why?
152 · Aug 2021
Cupid's Corner, LA
I work the streets at night
dressed for business in cars
I do my best to look pretty
makeup hides my scars

They always pay in cash
never kiss me goodnight
beats cleaning toilets
without the delight.
151 · Feb 20
12 Steps Dry
The thirst never leaves
feed me sate me please.
You brought temptation
a paper bag invitation.
My throat is dry dust
promises die in trust.
150 · Apr 2021
Statue of Liberty
We bury a great Lady
who kept us safe since
1886. She was ***** and
pillaged from DC vipers
in thousand dollar suits
and 500 dollar haircuts
thousand dollar ******
and selling the country
piece by piece as jobs
disappeared and they
became billionaires and
we wept at our burials.
I'm mad as hell and won't take it anymore!
150 · Apr 2024
75
75
I expected to die by now.
I'm lost in a lost world.
Bette's 92 lost in her past.
I visit she sees ghosts,
thinks I'm her brother
asks about our mother.
150 · Sep 2021
Strangers Die
I hate when people I know die.
The rest of humanity is a lump of clay.
I see my friends souls fly
strangers just die another day
150 · Mar 2021
1968
We've all gone crazy lately.
I don't wear a tie or cut my hair.
I smoked some hash and lost my
mind a little bit. Save me from
a world I don't recognize anymore.
I dress like a clown and eat drugs
to keep me up and down and level.
Friends are straight or hippies each
seeking their very own Nirvana and
I walk a tightrope above them all.
The world lost its center and we lost sight of God.
150 · Mar 2021
1981 Boys Club
Mullets and discotheques,
gold chains round the necks,
lines of coke, smooth *****.
Buying drinks, making passes
back when everyone was gay
then the scourge had its way.

Skeletons rattling breaths
clutching the hospice deaths
Really nothing left to say
just hold my hand to pray
friends please bend a knee
thank their God their free.
150 · Mar 2022
Crawdad Slaves
Summers last forever at 9
building dams in creeks
swinging on vines free
in woods and crawdads
little monsters we love
as pets in mason jars
for a minute or two
then set them free.
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