This old poet poses with his worn out lines.
Tender poetry of youth and love's beginnings,
faltering steps beyond puberty's uncertainty.

I've pounded my love on typewriters, each letter
has a part to play in this drama with a weight
all its own. Smash a key and it opens old wounds.

I pound Kathy Cindy Betsy Karen Georgine Terry
Lynette and my final keys are JAYNE.
It spells my final breath named Tia.

They tried to break me.
I kept spitting out the bit.
You can't tame the righteous  
Fire burned my spirit.
Wedding bands won't
shackle me like chains
I buck and snort and rebel
burn you with my flames.

The bullets in the water fly
like a flock in autumn's sky.
Blood paints the sea burnt red.
My lovers always wash up dead
on the white sand beach instead
of satisfied next to me in our bed.

When the mirror became a window
   I finally saw me as I've always been.
   I saw the storm of war blood that
   goes on forever through its martyrs
   veins both living and dead destroying
   happiness with wounds of memories.

We are lottery winners,
alive here and now with
choices and voices inside
fences of our own making.
We live in paragraphs and
chapters until the ending.

In ROTC I dared to grow my hair.
   On the cusp of hippy life with
   burned bras and free love and
   smoking hash I dumped my baggage.
   I joined a circus going to Boston.
   I was baptized in saltwater. Plum Island.
   I made love to love tilting at windmills.
   In my attic I learned the hard truths.
   The People's Almanac was my bible and
   those who held my heart my confessors.

Destroy my eyes and ears
tear my tongue from me
I'm just a man of straw a
cornfield seer who will see
the future better or worse
give it a blessing or curse
I live forever after death
steal the livings' breath.

Can I cure the sick or raise the dead?
   Can I feed a crowd with fish and bread?
   Can I turn water into Chardonnay?
   Can I walk across your pool today?
   Can I count on a betrayal Judas kiss?
   Can I die and rise reborn in bliss?

People everywhere but I'm not here.
Loud. Noise. Laughter. Music.
I'm numb to it. I mingle and help them
laugh and toast my dear friends.
I'm outside in a tree house looking at stars.
I am crying for a terrible loss only I see.
A friend calls for me and says we're leaving.
My love demands she's going. The loss to be.

I'm not equipped to be an easy love.
I don't know why. Women can be the
nectar I need and ease my aching heart.
Desire is always offered with an
enormous cost that I'm unable to pay.
I try to make a silk purse from a pig's ear.
I give her pearls and lipstick.
Party girls don't want to meet the parents.

Who fumbled the ball?
I think it was us,
the spoiled rotten
Baby Boomers.
Misinformed we
sold our souls to
Wall Street and her
golden treasures.
When everything
has a price on it
there is no value.
We sold our America.

Dodged a bullet called life
so beautiful yet shattered
fine crystal bloodied hands
we all act as if it mattered.
We protest in graveyards cry
blood tears for tiny abortion
boy or girl we never know now
just another ignored correction.

I still hear her whispered pleas
in poetry she wrote in need.
Abuse, excuse, forgive and live.
"I know the beast loves my beauty.
I just need to keep it perfect!
He purrs so lovely when he's sated."

I feel your shadow from above
  hunting me with your eager eyes.
  I always told you of my weakness
tear my love apart with  your lies.
  Keep your talons from my flesh.
  Spare my heart. Ignore my carrion.
  Share your heat on our wedding bed.
  Stay with me through the bitter end.

I have scars of life
mostly self inflicted
bad judgement of youth
just accidental addicted
to a crack ******* pipe
and Satan's debauchery
Eden's fruit now ripe
Eve gives me her cherry.
I take it as a treasure
covet as I do her heart
the fiercest pleasure
will tear us both apart.

I used to look to the future,
        the only thing left is a past.
        There's an emptiness I can't fill.
        I've always been troubled fun.
        It's a steep price for a ticket
        to a ride that lasts a minute.
        The line is long but moves fast.
        Afterwards you change your name.
        We never drown in the shallows.
        We always preferred the deep.

I keep my mistress
in my faded Levi's
in case of distress
guilt for all my lies
wedding vows broken
our kids are betrayed
silent them spoken
I leave as they played

Picasso Dali Escher Dylan,
     The force that through the
     green fuse drives the flower
     drives my green youth
     is my destroyer. Life Story.
     Black ink portraits of me
     begging for colors corpses
     whiter shades of pale.

They had to have a live tree
instead of a fake ironically.
The thing ended up killing me.
It's not big enough can't you see?
It was monstrous as it could be
but kept them quiet and happy.
I tried to lift it, was on a knee.
Help! They ignored my plea.
Coroner delivered me for free.
Moving the tree cost a hefty fee.

The sky's so clear
  in the atmosphere
  stars perch on a tree
  caged birds set free
  my mind takes flight
  into the cold night
  when I just can't feel
  what's dream or real
  my dogs walk me home
and I write this poem.

I'm just a junkyard dog.
Old scars tell my story.
I'm left water and scraps.
Alone in the dark I sleep
and dream of a better life
and love with *******
I smell beyond fences.
Love just out of reach.

You pose for me from time to time
   I sketch you with my words.
   Perfect curves angles and shadows.  
   Sun frames hair in a halo;
   cheekbones of a movie queen;
   Cleopatra smile of yours
   brings me to my knees.
   You stop time.
   I see forever
   in your eyes.

For the most part I was never sane.
I was drunken numb to everything.
Power lines fell into your rain.
You deadly siren, your wires sing.
I needed to touch your flesh.
We were so alive and young.
I needed to taste your ***.
You're always on my tongue.

Strings bent left and right
that touch me never touched.
Baptize me one last time as I
should have been before I
lost my way and found you
in a bar we found paradise.

I saw you on the subway
  lost you in the crowd
  love you like yesterday
  alone in the party cloud
  backstairs naked chance
  touch hearts and parts
  we make our music dance
  I drink to love's starts.

I was 9. The circus was coming that summer.
  It promised to bring life to the cornfields.
  4th of July. Circus matinee and evening
  fireworks!Daddy had it all planned out.
  Mama smelled pretty. Papa looked fancy.
  I wore my favorite white church dress.

  We were in the biggest tent I ever saw
  with people everywhere. Louder than
  anything I ever heard. I never felt like
  this. So much energy in so much space
  and my skin was electric, my eyes wide
  with the wonder of it all. Magical.

  It really was the Greatest Show on Earth!
  Girls swinging on trapeze and men balanced
  100 feet above us on a wire. Elephants huge
  powerful beasts tame as puppies on the farm.
  Clowns silly and mute and lovely made us laugh.
  It was heaven. We were suspended in a moment.

  I smelled smoke. I saw smoke and fire and panic.
  8000 people wanted out now. I wanted to see the
  fireworks in the dark. So many died. Animals died.
  Mama and Daddy died. They smelled like cooked meat.
  I died from smoke. I was found perfect in my dress.
  I'm unknown. I'm called body #1565. I love the circus.

I'm little people and work in a kitchen as a sous chef.
    Long hours and chop chop chop all ******* shift 'til it
    finally ends and we escape to our addictions of pleasure.
    We wake in different beds tangled with strangers we know.
    I'm a ******. I've slept with every brainiac you can imagine.
    They come in minutes and spend hours trying to convince me
    their *ism is the one true god. I listen, i'm paid and I leave.
    There's no difference. We need love of any kind and any cost.

You can't read my mind.
You've no idea what it's
like being close to you.
I'm stunned by your beauty.
Your laugh infects me.
Your wild hair brings me
to my knees in adoration.
I cower in fear of my love.
I'm quiet. I'm distant. I dream
of you that night. I write this.

Don't break me like a toy
or a long forgotten boy
yesterday's mistake
tomorrow's deadly snake
a heart drowned from tears
spilled over many years.

I've finally come undone
   the whole crazy orchestra
   plays frenzied on the sun.
   I stare hard to see them
   in the blinding light of
   noon finally seeing truth.

They dance alone now.
We died in *******.
A curtsy spin and bow,
despair a wishing well.

Welcome true Love.
I trust. Tread easy.
Don't become a ghost
haunt my memory.

My heart has become
fields of unmarked graves
calcified and numb
we're all Love's slaves.

I saw God's spark set us in motion.
     Hell broke loose and molten metals
     exploded into a universe too big to
     imagine. Light chased dark and light
     was born. Globes crashed into globes.
     Someone's soul began the human blight.

She hypnotized me.
She mesmerized me
staring in my eyes
telling me the lies
I never believed
her love deceived
I broke my own heart
just like I always do.

Am I bulbous?
Am I purple?
Am I throbbing?
Might I *******?
Will I disappoint?
too soon too late?

Autumn turns nature more intense.
     Peasants harvest Burnt sienna and
     other shades of red while black crows
     crawl across the French blue sky.
     Leaves catch fire briefly before
     ending in winters Payne grey grave.
     I clutch hope in my lonely winter.
     Please visit soon, Lad. Love, Vincent.

We're all being swept to sea in a
riptide of madness in a sinister
world of mad science and trusted
aides with long knives and smiles.

I love Pink Floyd
when I'm drunk
I love them when
dancing in the dark
in midnight Eden Park
I love them soft
and loud as hell
explosions of planes
lights burn the nights
I love Floyd's flights.

I'm 7. I want to be like God.
He makes my mom laugh out loud.
I want to be Him when I grow up.
I smoke the butts in His ashtray and
drain His beer too warm to finish.
He's the God that I wish God was.

I found parts of me
inside my poetry
I could never see
in strange reality.

We all died that night.
November storm's fright.
Pray in the water's ****
for deliverance escape.

Blood from a barely beating heart
drips down the neck to the fingers
in the dirt back to the finite start
dying sees life while it lingers
behind blind eyes as a spirit soars.
The living water graves with tears
not knowing God's sacred open doors
when their time is due in the years.

We're ratted out
bullet holes our
tame acquiescence
we're finished now
posed unflattering
on all front pages

In my infancy
  I still believed.
  Nuns taught me truth.
  Jesus died for our sins.
  Drink His blood and
  eat his body in wonder
  of what? I'm old and wise.
  Jesus is my gardener now.

Absinthe at dawn
a night club
a dance hall
a bordello
the world swept up
in Bohemian revolution
bright colors explode
inside fuddled brains
full of acid and do me
next or I steal your
planet Earth for my
Butterfly collection.
Orbits in orbits in
more orbits brick on
brick make a church
with graves outside
fading light at vespers
when they pray forever.

We're made of tiny forests
upon life's beautiful tyranny
demanding its fair duty or its
virus claims its pound of flesh

In the tock of the tick
we live our brief life
broken sacraments
vows die by a knife.
Run faster stay alive
another moment
long enough for
another torment.
I promise there
really is an end
time evades but
it refuses to bend.

I just wish you knew me
before I lost humanity
before I lost my sanity
before war changed me.
You are me at that age.
Violence births rage.
Wash pain away with
tears I sob. I'm sorry.

It's just me. I can't be you.
You are sunset. I'm morning dew.
I haunt you but you evict me.
You live in my bones for free.
Love is the harshest mistress
wearing the smallest dress.

It's always a casual see you later,
  then somehow you leave forever.
  I see your obit on google and wish
  I'd reached out when I still could.
  Here's to our shared misery and joy
  sharing secrets and keeping them.
  Here's to ******* pants laughter
  and a broke piece you left in me.