Huge golden retriever runt of litter
chasing ***** just not his thing.
He chases squirrels they disappear
in terror of the conquering king.

It almost drove me crazy
   that sound of a low thrum
   like electric through wires
   all who died sorrow's hum.
   She died in some drive by
   put to rest beat of a drum
   just push off don't come back
   go my way to a place I'm done.

I always run away from home
threatening to die alone a ******
in a ******* world of Hefner
in the heartland of the winter.
I want a tropical island with
mermaids beckoning my love.

I wrote you a poem
  saying I was alone
  imagine us holding
  hands walking along
  cobble stone streets
  look in shop windows
  ready for Christmas
  I buy your sweet time.

Live today
tomorrow
shimmers
on horizons
never reached
mirages
broke vows
red rains

I'd never end my life on purpose.
   I couldn't pull my own trigger or
   swallow my hand full of pills or
   jump from egotistical heights to
   look like a broken doll discarded.

   I daydream of situations where I
   have tests and see my doctor who
   delivers bad news, the worst news.
   I'm stoic. I refuse chemo. I'm done.
   I'll die in a morphine haze happy.

   When is old too old? My days are
   reruns of reruns. I won't find the
   love of my life. I won't break hearts
   or have mine broken. I've lived the
   Kama Sutra with a sore back for it.

   Maybe the snake hair girl will
   look deep into my soul and see a
   piece worth stealing and hold me
   in her bed and whisper as I look
   into her eyes and turn to stone.

To yank a soul out
of nonexistence into
this meat and to force
a life into this thresher
my child died painless
still inside my innocence
she spared me the sin
of having been a father.

We met at a party of friends.
******* bra less on the shore
beckon my ship onto the rocks
I painted you a blessed *****.
We woke hungover in some bed
enough to make some kinda love.
you cried for joy or some dead
bar lover hovers still above.

Falling in love is wonderful.
Staying in love is impossible.

Christ or dollars
I'm on my knees
cross or stud collars
but only if I please.

I need redemption,
successful lobotomy.
Am I the exception
or Rose Kennedy?

I exist inside a tiny space of your heart
called my universe I'll never understand.
You beat me with your drunken rage.
I'll never see my stars inside your eyes.
I remember your taste and white heat
burning me as I go down in your flames.
 Patty Sherman's beauty burned my eyes
left me blind but I see her in my dreams.

The poet's curse. We feel your pain.
We'd rather not but we have no choice.
We need to put it on the page like a
tiny red corpse we never forget. Weep and
pray and deny a god. Death lives inside you.

I have no heart no soul.
  I live in a field of corn
  never empty never full
  never died and never born.
  Clothes stuffed with straw
  to scare away black crows
  until the harvest in Fall
  death beaten chaotic rows.

Our hearts are low hanging fruit
for you ******* Casanovas.
We're forgotten as soon as you ***.
We curse you when you never call.

I understand your madness.
It explains your starry night
humanity so black and white
colors splendid in the light.

We've  been running
in circles no starting
over you're stunning!
I missed the parting.

I always saw you on my horizon.
I drank to your health and to ours.
I went to meetings and confessed
weakness and drank bland coffee
and ate stale donuts and smoked
an endless chain of cigarettes.

In my cups we danced in the neon.
On bar stools and raucous laughter
with my dreams hiding in liquor's
ugly fog I gave you life and baptism.
Can I ever know normal? I'll be home
last call when I reach my rope's end.

Heart attack.
  Stroke.
  Cancer ate me.
  Suicide.
  Overdosed.
  Murdered.
  Bullied.
  Abandoned.
 ­ Dingo ate me.
  Aborted at birth.

We exchange our vows
blindfolded hostages
shotgun wedding crows
wedding bed a birdcage.
Never more to carouse
pregnant bride of mine
we rent our tiny house
play at marriage time.

I know life matters
except road splatters
and children eaten
and cruelly beaten
blood and tears
rivers of fears.

I heard about this all my life.
It existed like Easter Bunny
or winning the lottery
or time versus infinity.
I knew it would come
as night meets the sun.

some seek solace in their Bible
some search inside their poems
those desiring death's release
will take its flight no matter
I hope they find a perfect dark
where all is none. eternal sleep
no more panic attacks or fear
of the wicked clown in closets
or teachers who **** us and we
like it but shouldn't. but we do.

Please just make
Hello Poetry
kid friendly.
Better for you
and for me.
The heck with
Chuck Bukowski,
Ginsberg's Howl.

We build the steel cathedrals miles high
  in the middle of the great cities. We dance
  on girders among the clouds driving white
  hot rivets into iron. We fear no man.
  When that whistle blows we scurry to our
  Bar. Brothers, we raise glasses to martyrs
  who fell that brief time to their honor.
  We toast more each day and pray and pray.
  We keep rabbit foot and four leaf clover
  and holy water and pennies in the poor box.

Alphabet. Morphine.
The pill. Free will.
Opera. *******.
Shot deer the sad ****.
Love replaced by lust.
Bigger is a better bust
****** or ***** a must
waits for tongue's ******.

Nuns line us up alphabet
huge crows all powerful
bow heads to say Jesus
or you will go to hell.
Sister Mary Holy Water
Jesus' bride a ******
here is guilt's slaughter
everything's a Mortal sin.

Your once proud *******
  hang like bitter tears.
  I still dream of you
  in a motel naked drunk
  answer to my prayers.
  I wake and forget you.

You thought you'd live forever
in the ***** of your lover
but she drowned in a river
of your overflowing liver
and you lost your direction
and died in imperfection.

I live in the dark
no sun no park
I feel my way
sun warm today
white cane taps
a stranger claps
I fall in love
his heart above
his light shines
in my eyes blind.

Falling in love is easy.
Riding a carousel in
the bed together until
full moon and fireworks
a wedding and a baby
and bills and we get fat
and forget how to laugh.
We want to make love or
even **** but these tired
beasts of burdens forget.
I need Aphrodite.
You need Hercules.

Pretend to be perfect. A Masquerade.
  Age and pounds of flesh will betray.
  We all pour through the hourglass
  swallow anything keep truth at bay.

I'll live a century and we'll all fly.  
I've broken many hearts; mostly mine.
  Let's meet in a Cabaret on Venus and
  Share our dearest sins one more time.

You poets. You priests. You shrinks.
You've no idea what I'm going through.
My shredded nerves demand another hit.
Have my body for another shot of it.
Let me dream among mine own kind.
Tomorrow I'll wake in ****** hell.
I'll find another shot into paradise.
I'll dream of being clean once again.
I'll dream of perfect childhoods and
true love that lasts a lifetime.

War's soldiers never the same
boys looking for adventure.
Rough stranger my son's name
comes home an angry warrior.

Stalling is my only move.
We'll really live tomorrow.
One more chance to prove
one more chance to borrow.
Promise to pay my bar tab
with an IOU of pure sorrow.

What matters is tears in eyes
baptizing the painful goodbyes
morning dew on summer grass
empty bottles of amber glass
loving drunk blond corpses
in tall grass fields of horses
with wings carry us to heaven
back to planet earth by seven.

Flotsam and jetsam trapped
in errant brain cells electric
hits on every nerve tapped
face twitch gnarl hand sick.
Cells break up and divorce
cheat alone and together
by love or brute force
insane light as a feather.

We don't write poetry.
We give it birth.
It's been inside us
bits and pieces in dreams
nothing as it seems
We are kilns sun hot
melt your whole ****
life and pour it on
cooling trays and
hope for the best.

Thunder
fear and wonder
lighting
blind frightening
flood
from above.

A full moon
boiling spoon
needle's rush
Van Gogh brush
a starry night
Angel's Flight.

I never believed in anything
as much as I believed in you.
I'll never forget you. Your
heartbeat is still in my own.
You taught me how to love.
You taught me patience and
humility and to be kind when
it wasn't deserved but needed.

I'm always tired lately. Can't wait
    for bedtime to lay me to rest and
    wake tomorrow to the same day again.
    I'm caught in a whirlpool forever.
    What can I drink or smoke or inject?
    What religion will help me out here?
    Maybe I'm dead and don't know it yet?

I gave my final wave
lowered into my grave
forget me now please
I rest under Fall leaves
Live among the dead
**** death's dread
she'll still find us all
live until her final call

I became my hero. Grampa Rosselot.
   He charmed the world but broke his
   family's heart. His only lover alcohol.  
   You gotta pay for what you break.
   Angry hangovers. Hair of the dog.
   Tonight I'll feed my hungry snake.

Flash of light
blinding night.
Sounds astound
everything caves
explodes insane
death is blind.

I've been staring into the sun
where our  pain is born again
where poet's souls learn to give
in a life spent chasing after sin
and never finding absolution
write our confessions on scraps
ignoring talk of evolution
embracing divine creation.
Drunk poets have always
known genius in Absinthe.

Our Father who gave us life
and takes it away, why bother?
We invented absurd stories and
built religions with our clenched
angry fists shaking to the heavens
cursing you for cruelty. You kick
puppys and drown kittens and make
us to amuse you gods as we die in
your cancer and weak hearts and car
wrecks and broken heart suicides and
despair in war's gas showers and
no man's land waiting to be shot.
Aids, Covid, influenza, plague or
just old age thins the ****** herd.
  AMEN

I slit my wrist and let the red ink
spill upon the page and I scratch my
message to my past loves. Listen. Do
you hear the wind whisper through
the trees? It speaks softly of pain
and journeys back to healing. Love
over and over 'til the peg fits hole.
Perfect. Rare, but entirely possible.

Inside my frailty
I took your cruelty
I found my *****
in your claws
endless lies
in your eyes
made you blind
could not find
kindness but I
learned to fly.

To sleep
to dream
to die
painless
free of debt
and addictions
and love's
poison sting.

a stirring need
a wasted seed
at light's speed
midnight's bleed
nothing's born
the fabric worn
survive a storm
the womb's torn
let's not fight
the silent night
my angel flight
into the light.