I'm 70 and blush like a 10 year old
     crushing on the girl with snake hair.
     She's electric and boombox loud laughs
     and shakes me from my very foundation.

     I have my life packed into boxes ready
     to sell for pennies at the yard sale.
     I can't dance. Rhythm was never my thing.
     I don't want to fall in love with you.

     This valentine inside my chest betrays me.
     I'm always ready to fall in love with trouble.
     The ashes smoldered and now come alive and
     We'll burn with lust in uncertain tomorrows.

Make a collection and submit
it for consideration
forget the apprehension
each poem bleeds
of it's own beating heart
we all have carnal needs.

We've all gone crazy lately.
I don't wear a tie or cut my hair.
I smoked some hash and lost my
mind a little bit. Save me from
a world I don't recognize anymore.
I dress like a clown and eat drugs
to keep me up and down and level.
Friends are straight or hippies each
seeking their very own Nirvana.
I walk a tightrope above madness.

Every color of the rainbow
  shadow and nuance and love
  eyes face hair and lips
  your eyes thalo green
  mixed with bits of sun
  face ochre mixed with coffee
  hair midnight black mixed with
  beach breeze and *** perfume
  lips rust lust in a hayloft
  blush leaves a hint of crimson.

There was a cat if nothing else.
Don't be defined by suffering.
You were so much more than that.
I missed you in the neighborhood
you tore from your life in shame
I'll never understand. Stand tall!

Just a note to say I'm sorry.
Please let it go don't worry.
Everything will end up well.
Kiss Kiss from eternal hell.

I never believed in anything
as much as I believed in you.
I'll never forget you. Your
heartbeat is still in my own.
You taught me how to love.
You taught me patience and
humility and to be kind when
it wasn't deserved but needed.
I need you more than ever to
help find my way back alone.

Love is nothing but a memoir
broke hearts are just keepsakes
remember to fall in love no more
'til you find your perfect soulmates

We never have enough to eat.
Winter is brutal up north and
we can't pay for heat huddled
around Dollar Store candles.
My Goldy is dead in morning.
Daddy can't keep a job anymore.

I'm little people and work in a kitchen as a sous chef.
    Long hours and chop chop chop all ******* shift 'til it
    finally ends and we escape to our addictions of pleasure.
    We wake in different beds tangled with strangers we know.
    I'm a ******. I've slept with every brainiac you can imagine.
    They come in minutes and spend hours trying to convince me
    their *ism is the one true god. I listen, i'm paid and I leave.
    There's no difference. We need love of any kind and any cost.

I drink wine from the box not the bottle.
     I'm not a connoisseur. I'm a wine sewer.
     My empties are very functional. I make
     so many things from them. Chairs. Beds.
     Dog house. Walls between us too tall to
     ever surmount. Even my own coffin.

Christ, I'm underneath your avalanche.
  I need one of your miracles right now.
  Forget bible verses and pretty nurses
  I need the saving of your sacred cow.
  I'm froze in place like Mount Vesuvius
  captured in our small pieces of living
  as I suffocate I think of you and me
  and wonder at the miracle of forgiving.

She was every kind of beautiful
  that ever was or ever will be.
  More so because she didn't care.
  We floated above the noise
  just us two in bed stars in our eyes
  consuming us numb to all else.

  Jealousy clawed its way back
  into my heart. It always does.
  It ruined every love I ever had.
  I'm old and still don't understand.
  I fear lust's sting. Green eyed
  monster always in the wings.

Death is a rebirth back
into infinity's dark mystic
the vast door opens a crack
into time's lonely final tick.

I hear the whispers always
warning me avoid the edge
of living near the end days
and making a false pledge.

Did someone say the end is near? Voices.
   Just one decibel short of understanding.
   Soft whisper like breeze through branches
   of the hanging tree. Where our voices aren't
   quite heard. We scream our outrage when
   our overlords are deaf with their pleasures.

I let my shadow go today.
I set my youngest free to be
herself with her own shadow.
She will call me less now but
she's in love and I won't let
it matter. God, I'll miss her.

I melt into promises like molten lead
   cooling into bullets aimed at my heart.
   I never make them lightly or ever mean
   to keep them forever they never start.

   I'm at war with me. I'll be victor and I'll
   be defeated and I'll bleed all over brave
   while I die in a trench of my own intention.
   Bury me where I fall in an unmarked grave.

It's a quarter moon tonight
the tiniest sliver of light
just one more night to live
the perfect poem I will give.

For birth
for need
for jealousy
for greed
for love
for lust
for envy
for trust
for anger
for hate
for planning
for fate
for breath
for darkness
for death

I do
I don't
I would
I won't
I should
I shan't
I could
I can't
I need
your seed
I bleed
you're freed

We huddle in our houses
watch statistics on TV
numbers scare us into isolation
can't breathe the air or touch.
We kiss through masks and love
from afar on video calls.
The Vaxed hate Unvaxed
and no one trusts elites.

God's perfect creation
Adam and Eve conceived
in the Garden of Eden,
His paradise received.

Lust is humans' crack,
desire behind our back
Love's not worth its' own
weight, just light to black.

Put Love on a butcher's scale
beside a broke heavy heart
I watch my Valentines fail
forever from the start.

I was born
torn forlorn
alone storm
sorrow ****.
I broke rules
made by fools
for useful tools
and Govt. mules.

My dear, Savior
Erase my debts.
make me braver,
admit my regrets.
Anyway let me be
in a peaceful place
where I can see
better time space.

Oh, God forgive me
I lost my keys
to Your Kingdom
crawling on my knees
over every piece of me
too drunk to hope to find
Your lost and found
I just step out of my mind.

I'll make my own God of split atoms.
The sun stares at Him and goes blind
leaving the world in total darkness.
It ends not with a whimper or a bang.
I still have a big bag of marbles.
I found one that looks like Earth.
I confessed my sin to my Priest.
10 Hail Mary's fix everything.

God's wrath struck the Joshua tree
   and burned it to its cremated ashes
   then let our world settle. Let it be.
   We watched it in lightening flashes.
   We live in angry desert cactus scrub
   hidden branches of the poison creosote
   where the only touch is death's rub.
   We have all but given up any hope.
   The stars are your eyes up above.
   The wind is my hands on our love.

She thought I was a carny
but loved me all the same
I made her laugh out loud
never caused her shame

Is it wrong for me to want you?
  It simply speaks the silent truth.
  Can't we just dance naked in our arms
  in the dark, hot breath on our necks?
  Life lasts but an instant and it's gone.
  Let's pretend for a beat it's forever.

I buy me a drink
laugh as I think
of yesterday's ink
talk to my shrink
asking questions
making sugestions.
Why do I *******?
It is a cheap date.

**** near naked trolling
  you pose through the bar  
  for another lover's love
  a plastic trophy tin star.
  Innocent buzzed I watched
  I was caught in your net.
  We loved for a half year.
  You left.  I've no regret.

A funeral procession
a box for confession
the Fourth of July
and wondering why
the young had to die
can souls really fly?
Without arms or legs
no saluting the flags.

My heart bleeds
Love's old scars,
planted sad seeds
in a sky of stars.

Small men standing tall
wearing giant hats and
medals they can hardly
carry. They feed soldiers
to the war machine like
butchers making sausage.

I'm tap dancing as fast as I can the
sparks jump off of the sidewalk
demon flares half insane in the dark!
I'd bend over backwards for us to talk.

I don't know what cruel rule I've broken.
I'm sorry. Your brutal silence bleeding
my tears. I'm stillborn in a quiet place.
My dead dreams are angry and pleading.

Lately the turn of death's wheel
spins slower with fewer clicks.
I'm growing tired and can't drink
like my younger self used to.
I smell death in my bed now
reeking of those gone before.

There's a stench in the air
    that you can't stop smelling.
    We live in squalor with rats
    for pets and corpses swelling.
    Social workers come round
    to count living and dead
    and promise more help but
    just give us maggot bread.
    The swells attend fundraisers
    in latest styles dressed to ****
    feast on caviar and champagne
    while my dying child goes still.

I have a vampire cat
sleeps all day
up all night
I bet she has
a magic cape
I've never seen
her in a mirror.
I sleep with a cross.
She lost one eye
but she'll never die.

There's a stench in the air
    that you can't stop smelling.
    We live in squalor with rats
    for pets and corpses bloated.
    Social workers come round
    to count living and dead
    and promise more help but
    just give us maggot bread.
    The swells attend fundraisers
    in latest styles dressed to ****
    feast on caviar and champagne
    while my dying child goes stiff.

The waves blood clots deliver
  whatever narrative he desires
  2020 Covid brick stacked on brick
  build this awful factory of lies.

  Row deep for truth below our feet
  beyond safe buoys mermaids sing
  wind can tear you from your seat
  your arms remain awful rowing.

I smell your hair
I love you then
we kiss us there
perfect within.

Break wind, break promises,
break hearts but never ever
break Sacred Marriage Vows!
All the gods will have cows...
All kittens will die I swear on a
bible made in communist China.

I'm waiting for my heart to
fall in love with you again
sitting in your backseat
trying to pick your locks to sin
I have a bag of seeds to sow
upon your fertile afterglow.

I said, I love you.
Your silence was deafening.
I kept saying shh, shh, shh.
You can't make this promise,
you can't betray your heart.
I die that night. Shh.

When I up and die
bury me in the sky.
Bury me in the shade
of the tree we made.
Bury me in a tomb
forever in the womb.
Bury me in your heart.
The end is just a start.

A leaf
floats onto a stone
that felt alone
and gave it belief
in a God's love
never seen
vast machine
from high above

The north star was burned
by BLM activists said it was
too white in the dark night
blinded the hatred of sight.
The world has lost its way
can't tell night from day.

There's nowhere safe
   painless and pure
   there is no perfection
   we're rats in the sewer
   we eat our children
   their innocent dreams
   elites strike a match
   we die in our screams.

I lost myself among the frozen stars
   in the dark palette of a cold midnight.
   Nowhere left to go I came by your door
   for old times and knocked. You were gone.
   You were never here. Pretend marriage.
   Me with a wife and 2 young kids and mad
   as a hatter I fell down the rabbit hole
   where we played house and thought we
   were in love. We were burned by lust
   and divorced and last time I saw you
   **** in your dorm and me leaving for
   Boston next day. We killed a 12 pack
   and pretended one last time at love
   and I went away and lived my life as
   best I could you always on my mind
   but knowing better. I came home to
   see my kids and came by to see you.
   I lost myself among the frozen stars
   in the dark palette of a cold midnight.
   Nowhere left to go I came to your grave
   whispering your name as a prayer.