Every color of the rainbow
  shadow and nuance and love
  eyes face hair and lips
  your eyes thalo green
  mixed with bits of sun
  face ochre mixed with coffee
  hair midnight black mixed with
  beach breeze and *** perfume
  lips rust lust in a hayloft
  blush leaves a hint of crimson.

There was a cat if nothing else.
Don't be defined by suffering.
You were so much more than that.
I missed you in the neighborhood
you tore from your life in shame
I'll never understand. Stand tall!

Love is nothing but a memoir
broke hearts are just keepsakes
remember to fall in love no more
'til you find your perfect soulmates

I've known you for years. Grandpa introduced us.
    You always made the room glow and laughter flow.
    You calmed me when I betrayed those I promised
    to never betray. You made me smarter than I was
    and clever when I was dull and modest when clever.
    There's always a madness in the air when you grace
    us with your presence. Thing is you make me ugly.
    I dance on tables with lamp shades on my head and
    drop my pants invite kiss my *** in a full moon.
    I plan your funeral. I bury you in a potter's field.
    I've tried burying you before. Like Christ you rise.
    I put a stake in your heart and salt on your grave.
    You refuse to be banished from the lives we live.
    Maybe you'll stay buried beside me in my grave.

Just a note to say I'm sorry.
Please let it go don't worry.
Everything will end up well.
Kiss Kiss from eternal hell.

We never have enough to eat.
Winter is brutal up north and
we can't pay for heat huddled
around Dollar Store candles.
My Goldy is dead in morning.
Daddy can't keep a job anymore.

Christ, I'm underneath your avalanche.
  I need one of your miracles right now.
  Forget bible verses and pretty nurses
  I need the saving of your sacred cow.
  I'm froze in place like Mount Vesuvius
  captured in our small pieces of living
  as I suffocate I think of you and me
  and wonder at the miracle of forgiving.

Death is a rebirth back
into infinity's dark mystic
the vast door opens a crack
into time's lonely final tick.

She was every kind of beautiful
  that ever was or ever will be.
  More so because she didn't care.
  We floated above the noise
  just us two in bed stars in our eyes
  consuming us numb to all else.

  Jealousy clawed its way back
  into my heart. It always does.
  It ruined every love I ever had.
  I'm old and still don't understand.
  I fear lust's sting. Green eyed
  monster always in the wings.

I drink wine from the box not the bottle.
     I'm not a connoisseur. I'm a wine sewer.
     My empties are very functional. I make
     so many things from them. Chairs. Beds.
     Dog house. Walls between us too tall to
     ever surmount. Even my own coffin.

It's a quarter moon tonight
the tiniest sliver of light
just one more night to live
the perfect poem I will give.

Did someone say the end is near? Voices.
   Just one decibel short of understanding.
   Soft whisper like breeze through branches
   of the hanging tree. Where our voices aren't
   quite heard. We scream our outrage when
   our overlords are deaf with their pleasures.

I melt into promises like molten lead
   cooling into bullets aimed at my heart.
   I never make them lightly or ever mean
   to keep them forever they never start.

   I'm at war with me. I'll be victor and I'll
   be defeated and I'll bleed all over brave
   while I die in a trench of my own intention.
   Bury me where I fall in an unmarked grave.

I hear the whispers always
warning me avoid the edge
of living near the end days
and making a false pledge.

We huddle in our houses
watch statistics on TV
numbers scare us into isolation
can't breathe the air or touch.
We kiss through masks and love
from afar on video calls.
The Vaxed hate Unvaxed
and no one trusts elites.

God's perfect creation
Adam and Eve conceived
in the Garden of Eden,
His paradise received.

Lust is humans' crack,
desire behind our back
Love's not worth its' own
weight, just light to black.

Put Love on a butcher's scale
beside a broke heavy heart
I watch my Valentines fail
forever from the start.

We've all gone crazy lately.
I don't wear a tie or cut my hair.
I smoked some hash and lost my
mind a little bit. Save me from
a world I don't recognize anymore.
I dress like a clown and eat drugs
to keep me up and down and level.
Friends are straight or hippies each
seeking their very own Nirvana.
I walk a tightrope above madness.

I never believed in anything
as much as I believed in you.
I'll never forget you. Your
heartbeat is still in my own.
You taught me how to love.
You taught me patience and
humility and to be kind when
it wasn't deserved but needed.
I need you more than ever to
help find my way back alone.

I do
I don't
I would
I won't
I should
I shan't
I could
I can't
I need
your seed
I bleed
you're freed

For birth
for need
for jealousy
for greed
for love
for lust
for envy
for trust
for anger
for hate
for planning
for fate
for breath
for darkness
for death

I was born
torn forlorn
alone storm
sorrow ****.
I broke rules
made by fools
for useful tools
and Govt. mules.

Oh, God forgive me
I lost my keys
to Your Kingdom
crawling on my knees
over every piece of me
too drunk to hope to find
Your lost and found
I just step out of my mind.

She thought I was a carny
but loved me all the same
I made her laugh out loud
never caused her shame

I'll make my own God of split atoms.
The sun stares at Him and goes blind
leaving the world in total darkness.
It ends not with a whimper or a bang.
I still have a big bag of marbles.
I found one that looks like Earth.
I confessed my sin to my Priest.
10 Hail Mary's fix everything.

Is it wrong for me to want you?
  It simply speaks the silent truth.
  Can't we just dance naked in our arms
  in the dark, hot breath on our necks?
  Life lasts but an instant and it's gone.
  Let's pretend for a beat it's forever.

I'm little people and work in a kitchen as a sous chef.
    Long hours and chop chop chop all ******* shift 'til it
    finally ends and we escape to our addictions of pleasure.
    We wake in different beds tangled with strangers we know.
    I'm a ******. I've slept with every brainiac you can imagine.
    They come in minutes and spend hours trying to convince me
    their *ism is the one true god. I listen, i'm paid and I leave.
    There's no difference. We need love of any kind and any cost.

**** near naked trolling
  you pose through the bar  
  for another lover's love
  a plastic trophy tin star.
  Innocent buzzed I watched
  I was caught in your net.
  We loved for a half year.
  You left.  I've no regret.

God's wrath struck the Joshua tree
   and burned it to its cremated ashes
   then let our world settle. Let it be.
   We watched it in lightening flashes.
   We live in angry desert cactus scrub
   hidden branches of the poison creosote
   where the only touch is death's rub.
   We have all but given up any hope.
   The stars are your eyes up above.
   The wind is my hands on our love.

A funeral procession
a box for confession
the Fourth of July
and wondering why
the young had to die
can souls really fly?
Without arms or legs
no saluting the flags.

Small men standing tall
wearing giant hats and
medals they can hardly
carry. They feed soldiers
to the war machine like
butchers making sausage.

My heart bleeds
Love's old scars,
planted sad seeds
in a sky of stars.

Lately the turn of death's wheel
spins slower with fewer clicks.
I'm growing tired and can't drink
like my younger self used to.
I smell death in my bed now
reeking of those gone before.

I'm tap dancing as fast as I can the
sparks jump off of the sidewalk
demon flares half insane in the dark!
I'd bend over backwards for us to talk.

I don't know what cruel rule I've broken.
I'm sorry. Your brutal silence bleeding
my tears. I'm stillborn in a quiet place.
My dead dreams are angry and pleading.

I buy me a drink
laugh as I think
of yesterday's ink
talk to my shrink
asking questions
making sugestions.
Why do I *******?
It is a cheap date.

I have a vampire cat
sleeps all day
up all night
I bet she has
a magic cape
I've never seen
her in a mirror.
I sleep with a cross.
She lost one eye
but she'll never die.

The waves blood clots deliver
  whatever narrative he desires
  2020 Covid brick stacked on brick
  build this awful factory of lies.

  Row deep for truth below our feet
  beyond safe buoys mermaids sing
  wind can tear you from your seat
  your arms remain awful rowing.

I'm waiting for my heart to
fall in love with you again
sitting in your backseat
trying to pick your locks to sin
I have a bag of seeds to sow
upon your fertile afterglow.

There's a stench in the air
    that you can't stop smelling.
    We live in squalor with rats
    for pets and corpses swelling.
    Social workers come round
    to count living and dead
    and promise more help but
    just give us maggot bread.
    The swells attend fundraisers
    in latest styles dressed to ****
    feast on caviar and champagne
    while my dying child goes still.

There's a stench in the air
    that you can't stop smelling.
    We live in squalor with rats
    for pets and corpses bloated.
    Social workers come round
    to count living and dead
    and promise more help but
    just give us maggot bread.
    The swells attend fundraisers
    in latest styles dressed to ****
    feast on caviar and champagne
    while my dying child goes stiff.

The north star was burned
by BLM activists said it was
too white in the dark night
blinded the hatred of sight.
The world has lost its way
can't tell night from day.

Never text while driving
  and never text while drunk.
  Both can destroy lives. I
  love you in my cups but
  loathe me in the hangover
  having texted such truths.

I lost myself among the frozen stars
   in the dark palette of a cold midnight.
   Nowhere left to go I came by your door
   for old times and knocked. You were gone.
   You were never here. Pretend marriage.
   Me with a wife and 2 young kids and mad
   as a hatter I fell down the rabbit hole
   where we played house and thought we
   were in love. We were burned by lust
   and divorced and last time I saw you
   **** in your dorm and me leaving for
   Boston next day. We killed a 12 pack
   and pretended one last time at love
   and I went away and lived my life as
   best I could you always on my mind
   but knowing better. I came home to
   see my kids and came by to see you.
   I lost myself among the frozen stars
   in the dark palette of a cold midnight.
   Nowhere left to go I came to your grave
   whispering your name as a prayer.

Please just leave.
I don't want to hurt you.
Love is quicksand and
riptides so cruel.
Run for your life!
I'm just love afraid.
It never dies quick.
It will slowly fade.

I said, I love you.
Your silence was deafening.
I kept saying shh, shh, shh.
You can't make this promise,
you can't betray your heart.
I die that night. Shh.

A leaf
floats onto a stone
that felt alone
and gave it belief
in a God's love
never seen
vast machine
from high above

Break wind, break promises,
break hearts but never ever
break Sacred Marriage Vows!
All the gods will have cows...
All kittens will die I swear on a
bible made in communist China.

There's nowhere safe
   painless and pure
   there is no perfection
   we're rats in the sewer
   we eat our children
   their innocent dreams
   elites strike a match
   we die in our screams.

He finally finished his last canvas.
  It satisfied his mad desire for love
  but left him wanting for his sanity.
  He shot himself and bled to death in
  the night he turned into day with the
  stars he painted into midnight suns.

DC is their fatality
their greedy totality
of their sterility
of their banality
total moral finality
it buries my reality.

I let my shadow go today.
I set my youngest free to be
herself with her own shadow.
She will call me less now but
she's in love and I won't let
it matter. God, I'll miss her.