I let my shadow go today.
I set my youngest free to be
herself with her own shadow.
She will call me less now but
she's in love and I won't let
it matter. God, I'll miss her.

I know you're there some nights
  seen you come and go smiling as
  you pass by perfume teasing me
  haunting my heart with never.
  So many bar lovers came before
  tasting feminine wiles forever.

Cotton obsessed, ***** oppressed,
Southern charm and whipping the help
mint juleps in the oak tree's shade as
Delta planters tamed this flooded jungle
with a thousand slaves bought in chains
filled with a savage anger of lost homes
from lands beyond reach of our caring.
A noble savage we tried to free in Civil War.
Free to live in squalor with **** schools and
**** jobs and **** projects to call home.
Don't fear these truths. Don't stare blind.
Carry this prayer to your altars and pulpits
and shout from pews demanding justice.
Sing of misfortune and tomorrow's hope.

The joy of life gone
  I answered to the gun
  held it to my ear
  without any fear
  this is my suicide note
  final everlasting quote.

I remember tiny creases
my cavalcade of strife
scattered puzzle pieces
fragments teasing life.

Earth is my mother.
Earth is my *****.
Earth is nuns in heat.
Earth is my carnal itch.
Earth swallows me dead.
Earth spins night into day.
Earth spins day into night.
Earth never lets me stay.

I'll write a song
with music and rhyme
and poetry dripping
like dew from a vine.
I'll steal an orchestra
and God's own choir
and serenade you
to my bed on fire.

I smell your hair
I love you then
we kiss us there
perfect within.

Mrs. Reddy
Susan T.
Jeanie D.
Sister Mary Timothea
Virginia K.
Queen of Hearts
Kathy C.
Cindy I.
Betsy W.
Corpse like lover
Karen L.
Boston, MA
Georgine D.
Terry/Tara M.
Lynette K.
Jayne O.
Queen of Hearts

I never believed in anything
as much as I believed in you.
I'll never forget you. Your
heartbeat is still in my own.
You taught me how to love.
You taught me patience and
humility and to be kind when
it wasn't deserved but needed.
I need you more than ever to
help find my way back alone.

The blood red stain
in the pouring rain
no voices after all
left to take the fall
I loved you yesterday
debt I can never pay
lock me in your jail
our love was stale.
A scarecrow smiles
as they turn dials.

Know this. Fingertips bleed.
Finger's are epileptic twisted.
Poets plant lyrics like a seed.
Hear my song, know I existed.

We're born with our story
      etched on crumbled graves
      maybe shame maybe glory
      maybe Jesus Christ saves
      no real reason to worry
      one way or another slaves
      serve a master in a hurry
      cruelty comes in waves.

Healing takes time. It's a process, stages.
   My deepest condolences to your family.
   You're too young! You're too old!
   I was your age once. I understand.
   It always turns out okay in the end.
   It was meant to be. Make the best of it.
   He was no good for you from the start.
   I always knew you just settled with him.

When I up and die
bury me in the sky.
Bury me in the shade
of the tree we made.
Bury me in a tomb
forever in the womb.
Bury me in your heart.
The end is just a start.

I was of an age
drunk in a rage
trapped in a cage
spilled on a page
escaped onto stage
writ large a sage.

We lost our souls
and digits in deep
blue seas saltwater
a deep blue sleep.
Drop a tear in the sea
for my memory
kiss me in Davy Jones
locker just let it be.

In my infancy
  I still believed.
  Nuns taught me truth.
  Jesus died for our sins.
  Drink His blood and
  eat his body in wonder
  of what? I'm old and wise.
  Jesus is my gardener now.

I'm sun you're rain,
    Pleasure to the pain.
    Cracked heart sustain.
    Join in Love's refrain.

She brought me cheese and bread.
She gently kissed my broken head.
We played at love and broke the bed
flew close to a sun crashed and bled.
Love's fiercest feelings lying dead
in bottoms of amber bottles instead.

My eyes are burning
my mind is squirming
the tale is turning
my heart is learning
never trust lust's girl
seems the perfect pearl
just a suicidal squirrel
always loves unsure.

I tear my fierce claws into you
without apology. I need to eat.
Put us in zoos and take pictures
feeding us like pets. We burn bright
in the night as Blake set us in print.
God cast us in hell fires furnace.

Youth's arrogance gone now,
life's hard lessons learned.
Nothing is ever owed to me.
Everything I have is earned.
I had many friendly bridges
but every **** one I burned.

We are lottery winners,
alive here and now with
choices and voices inside
fences of our own making.
We live in paragraphs and
chapters until the ending.

We've all gone crazy lately.
I don't wear a tie or cut my hair.
I smoked some hash and lost my
mind a little bit. Save me from
a world I don't recognize anymore.
I dress like a clown and eat drugs
to keep me up and down and level.
Friends are straight or hippies each
seeking their very own Nirvana and
I walk a tightrope above the madness.

She made me a scarf.
It was Ireland green
France Fleur de lis blue
Germany's sunset red.
She worries about me like
a treasure in her heart
where I feel most at home,
that will be lost someday.

We choked on our stock's ashes.
1929. The crash. We lost it all.
nothing left to bear my burden.
nothing left to sing my praise.
my body aches. my soul despairs.
Forget friends. Never mind prayers.
The only warmth a stranger's "Hello".
I doubt innocence. What does he want?
I'll sleep on benches and city grates
and wipe my *** with 20 dollar bills.
I'll walk the stairs for the first time
to the top of my building and perch
and gaze upon the city that betrayed
me and step into death's cool flight.

I try drawing you from  old memories
   but can't get your eyes right. I can't see
   the body that destroyed my earnest vows.
   I can't see your warm young ******* and
   ******* that grew so hard by my caress.
   I can't see us dancing naked in the dark.
   I wish I'd kept the photos. I cremated us
   in an ashtray and I can't see us anymore.

They dance alone now.
We died in *******.
A curtsy spin and bow,
despair a wishing well.

The Greatest thing
I will never learn,
is just to love and
be loved in return.

God created us. We created God in our image.
God made a Garden of Eden for us.
God created heaven and hell.
God made the 10 Commandments.
God made big and small sin.
God took fear and made guilt.
God created right and wrong.
We made a Bible about creation
and Angels cast from Heaven.
We made prisons for the sinners.
We made pulpits for false prophets.
God created man created God.

blood cords stand out in my neck
  throbbing with my beating heart
  never a true ending or a true start
  I barely played a supporting part
  water now ankle deep ink blot shark
  waits for Davy Jones feeding at dark.

Vincent's starry madness
let loose with his paints
ghost's at Midnight Mass
praying for living saints.

Lover leaves. No reason.
  My nerves are on edge
  maybe it's the season
  we stand upon the ledge.

  We're always drunk again.
  The moon is huge tonight.
  Where in hell have we been?
  Both are blinded  by the light.

A collection of stars
in my childhood jars
next to my little bed
morning all are dead.

Wearing a top hat and a straight
  jacket with a monocle and goatee.
  He owns everything like God does.
  Nobody will ever tell him different.
  He'll silence you and disappear you.
  He'll bury your friends and family.
  He'll define what's real and false.
  He's the man who rules the world.
  Our lives are in his cattle cars on
  our way to his indifferent endings.

The clock ticks
like a bomb as
I obey the march
of time to
another year
and candles on
another cake that
just makes me fatter
and mirrors that lie and
broke bathroom scales.

Priced as marked or best offer.
    Some damaged more than others.
    A small tear
    a workplace affair
    a bigger tear
    a torrid affair with broken promises
    devastated barely pumps
    he always cheated and blamed her
    blown out selling for parts
    he betrayed and took the kids
    she overdosed and stabbed her heart
    for good measure. Tears roll down
    but can never make things right.
    Make an offer after all why not?

Do I exist as I or us?
Can you be alone or
are you a part of me?
We must memorize
the truth as it is told
over the mind Net.
Our sky is yellow.
Our meat is farmed
inside a test tube.
We procreate alone,
hallucinate  together.
I don't feel pain or
loneliness. I never
cried but miss it.

I love Pink Floyd
when I'm drunk
I love them when
dancing in the dark
in midnight Eden Park
I love them soft
and loud as hell
explosions of planes
lights burn the nights
I love Floyd's flights.

Everything is just beyond reach.
   I don't care anymore. Almost.
   I remember lover's smells. Almost.
   I remember my children. Almost.
   I know you. Almost.
   A golden retriever is familiar. Almost.
   My face in a mirror is a stranger.
   Almost, but not quite. Disappearing!

She left in Autumn's harvest
rich reds and orange and rust.
I kept her love for many years
through all the neglected tears.
My nerves all burn in my shame
fearing she can't recall my name.

Absinthe at dawn
a night club,
a dance hall
  and bordello.
The world swept up
in Bohemian revolution
bright colors explode
inside addled brains
full of acid and my turn
next or I steal your
planet Earth for my
Butterfly collection.
Orbits in orbits inside
more orbits brick on
brick make a church
with graves outside
fading light at vespers
when they pray forever.

Destroy my eyes and ears
tear my tongue from me
I'm just a man of straw a
cornfield seer who will see
the future better or worse
give it a blessing or curse
I live forever after death
steal the livings' breath.

Sleight of hand innocent lies
never real flesh and blood
just a corpse full of flies
bloated and floating in a flood.

Drunk. Insane feel of pleasure
am I with her now or all alone?
My mirror is a shattered treasure
priceless piece of polished chrome.

57 Chevy we made our first child
broke society in summer of love
married in West Side Story wild
we woke and found a broken dove.

There we were sitting on bar stools
side by side and talking about women
and the way they smell. Some earthy and
some flowers and some like stale *****.
We told sick jokes and remembered good
old days when men were fierce and girls
were gentle and tamed their beasts.
We parted. He paid my tab. Yellow teeth.
I remember his laugh. It was sincere.
I stumbled out drunk but he walked sober.

There was a time
we lit up a room.
Toast of the town,
roses' full bloom.
Now we watch it
from a dark tomb.

In ROTC I dared to grow my hair.
   On the cusp of hippy life with
   burned bras and free love and
   smoking hash I dumped my baggage.
   I joined a circus going to Boston.
   I was baptized in saltwater. Plum Island.
   I made love to love tilting at windmills.
   In my attic I learned the hard truths.
   The People's Almanac was my bible and
   those who held my heart my confessors.

I'm just a junkyard dog.
Old scars tell my story.
I'm left water and scraps.
Alone in the dark I sleep
and dream of a better life
and love with *******
I smell beyond fences.
Love just out of reach.

I watch the wall clock
seconds tick then tock
stranger blows my ****
I come on my left sock
and ask what's your name
she says I'm all the same.