You weren't seen
in my blind spot
too old so young
perfect ink blot
no trouble at all
self absorbed dad
in and out of love
edge of mind mad.
I forgot to care
for the tattered
broken Daughter
always mattered.

Let's give this "love" the
old heave ** and move on.
Our parts don't fit quite right.
Round peg square hole is wrong.

Ride subways to your job
go type at a plastic tube
wait for bosses to lob
demands and the KY ****.
Bring the ***** or tea
and the New York Times
offered on a bent knee
guilty of Pravda's crimes.
Careful or live in our hell
you will own nothing at all
at the bottom of a deep well
nobody will accept your call.

I hear echoes from my past
and from my future at last
I hear my death and your hate
and my final everlasting fate.

We've changed, we're old.
If I had another chance
to taste you I would.
Give me a glance
see me young again
backstairs ******
escapades reaching
stars and breaking
time's limitations
old, fat, forgotten.

Swim against the current and
promise me to never die.
Riptides and sharks and cramps
we die alone but angry.

I loved the fireworks.
    I loved the fierce heat.
    I loved the moisture and
    your heart inside mine.
    The first week we never
    came up for air. We'd
    gladly drown together.
    We found each other and
    we abandoned the world.

My true love was a desert
beautiful and deadly soul
scorpions and rattlers and
poison creosote she stole.
She fed me her deadly milk
of scarce and stubborn rain.
I'll die in her cursed sand
and feed our lover's pain.

I'm just a junkyard dog.
Old scars tell my story.
I'm left water and scraps.
Alone in the dark I sleep
and dream of a better life
and love with *******
I smell beyond fences,
Love just out of reach.

I hate to burden you
with my ugly stew.
I've wreaked havoc
too much on the clock.
I wish I were a pain.
Humanity's stain
died in a **** oven
pity blessed coven.

I was 13 in a hormone driven rage
  trying to put the moves on Linda
  in a hayloft. He was in my ear
  whispering his disapproval. I was
  deaf and have been ever since. ****
  it. Kennedy was shot in Dallas that
  day and the worlds been upside down
  since the last time I heard Jesus.

It's a beauty of a red rose.
  It's a watercolor on a bed sheet
  petals bloom from his wound.
  She'd had it and found a gun
  and courage and anger enough
  to put him out of her misery.

You weren't seen
in my blind spot
too old so young
perfect ink blot
no trouble at all
self absorbed dad
in and out of lust
edge of mind mad.
you were a rock
in my slaughter
never faltered
broken Daughter.

Climb down off your cross
  forget crucifixion's dying
  wow the gathered crowd by
  feeding them and free wine.
  Have the band play the hits.
  Do your comic act. Applause.
  Sign autographs no charge.
  Beg money for your cause.

I live in a Church
soul kept in a jar
I stop Jesus search
found him on a bar
stool next to mine
we talked of fate
society's decline
everybody's hate.

I'm an angry man
war's shattered bones
war's missing limbs
war's burned on skin
Autumn a calm season
full moon bright
through branches
seductive shadows
offering their
forbidden fruit
out of reach for a
man with no arms.

She comes around
when I'm in my cups.
I hear a meow at 10:20
wonder what she wants.
I wait and turn around
but she's still there.
She stares from her eye
haunting me purring.
I tell her goodnight.
She purrs. I go to bed.

I pushed the button
  I need the shot in
  the devil's purse
  it seemed like hours
  probably minutes as
  I ground teeth to dust
  comes the angel nurse
  she memorized the verse
  heaven's squirt in vein
  I wander in the cool rain
  come soon morphine noose
  **** pain or me. Choose.

I'll break my own heart.
I always do. I hate love.
It has fangs and poison
and scorpion tails and
disapproval of Mother.
Never mind the grief.

I was lost inside my speed
  drugged mind hoping for calm
  but all I got was lost in Oz,
  a shrink's chair with no exits.
  I jumped from mountains of lies
  and fell into the truth's grave.
  I settle for lesser compromise.
  I'm saved by a clock's loud tick
  death's second hand metronome
  keeping track of all our lives.

Am I your lover?
Or pretend Mother?
Criticize and flatter
find war's splatter
on the kitchen wall
wake in shame all.
Perfect hair perfected
my children neglected.
We'll always own stain
and confused love pain.

Stubborn lover on my knees
eating 'til I hear you scream
Oh, my ******* god, please!
Interrupt your primal dream
I enter you our final tease
fill you with love's stream.

I'm barely alive.  My heart struggles to survive.
Madness has erupted and I no longer exist.
I feel like I've flat lined, but I still resist.
Where to look for hope? I listen for God's voice,

But I lost religion. I'm deaf to heaven's noise.  
Desire remains. What good will come of that?
I see a yellow moon rocking in the creek.
Wine on a lover's note a fetching watercolor.

We meet. Perfume, cologne, breath mints and *****.
Let's break all the rules! I must be home by 10.
A room. Naughty thrills. Suppressed guilt, ***!
Aftermath managed with pills and see you soon.

They came from London
armed bobby's to North
Ireland to subjugate us
steal our very worth

we fight tooth and nail
the ******* British
****** Sunday ******
us like a barrel of fish

we won't forget
we'll never forgive
bombs guns fires
this is how we live

……..” The chair “…….
It’s a chair, just a chair,
Deep veined mahogany,
Hessian layered,
And filled with hair.
It’s a bed, just a bed,
A book without a binding,
Silently recanting,
Where once lay a head.
It’s a glass, just a glass
But, my God it’s sacred,
Lips once lingered,
Indelible morass.
It’s a frame, just a frame,
Capturing heaven,
Such youthful abandon,
And filled with your name.
It’s a home, just a home,
That became a building,
That become a shrine,
When all alone.
It’s a chair, just a chair,
Of crafted joints,
With sabered legs,
And skillful debonair.
It’s a chair, just a chair,
Utilitarian,
It sits a corner,
Now you’re not there.
Seamus Ginty

We lasted just a moment
    in my 72 years long ago.
    It seemed like a play date
    more than our marriage.
    ****** and beers and ***
    kept me inside the lines
    usually. I was naked at
    a party and climbing up
    trees to spy on you and
    recording private moments.
    I color outside the lines now.
    Nobody notices or cares.

Our sacred backstair lust
diamond turns to dust.

Do you make wine from water?
Can you save me from fires of hell?
Were you born poor in Appalachia?
Do you touch beggars and heal sick?

Was your father a carpenter named Joe?
Was your mother really a ******?
Are you a time traveler without a watch?
Did you die ****** nailed on that cross?

We're game pieces on a chess board.
We might be peasants or knights or pawns.
We play our roles in turns and win some,
lose some and never know true love at all.
I begin to understand the cruelty of our
history where we live our fragile lives.

We swarm to be heard.
We write to plant our seeds
in your furrows. Ideas take root.
Cocktail chatter and bedroom whispers
spread them far and wide from church
to AA to shooting galleries.
We shout words in sound proof rooms
wrapped in straight jackets and put down.

I have no fear or hate,
just a shadow of a fate.
Never too early or late,
nothing I can anticipate.

I learned my ABC's and read the secrets.
  Words like puzzle pieces showed me truth's
  that Gods never thought we'd understand.
  I found poetry at world's darkest edge
  when flying too close to her boiling sun
  at midnight in my blind blank black heart.
  Ginsberg spoke his generation's addiction
  crawling at dawn to find their needed fix.

I was empires once
now reduced to dust
cars were everywhere
now just orange rust
high majestic mountains
worn to infertile dirt
wind leaves parched pains
time demands hours of hurt.

You cannot Love
in moderation
all in or all out
no *******
no blowup dolls
or Centerfolds
just she who
really matters.

lose your dress
forget duress
just say yes
I'll confess
let's bless
our mess.

I write poems like I fish.
Wrap words around hooks
and drop them in waters
hoping for hungry looks
from bug eyed poets
willing to strike
for a chance to eat
they give me a like.

I'm in pain
  inside your
  ****** dancing
  in winter rain
  in your freezing
  bed our breathing
  like dragon smoke
  forever pleasing.

I live inside a mirror today
where everything's reflection.
Kiss my shadow's shadow.
Break my heart. It shimmers
in  puddles wrinkled in wind.
You only break a looking glass
and suffer 7 years bad luck.
I curse you with all my love.

I'm born then die.
Life worth a try.
I disappoint and cry
I laugh and I fly
to a northern star
not really very far
it's my favorite bar
we **** in your car
on a carousel I spin
a lucky wheel of sin
cancer grows within
I lose myself thin
I leave a dark stain
always death's pain
funeral in the rain
infinity once again.

Last Train Home
by John Mayer


     If you wanna roll me
Then you gotta roll me all night long
And if you wanna use me
Then you gotta use me 'til I'm gone

[Chorus]
I'm not a fallen angel, I just fell behind
I'm out of luck and I'm out of time
If you don't wanna love me, let me go
I'm runnin' for the last train
I'm runnin' for the last train home

[Verse 2]
If you wanna know me
Then you gotta know me through and through
And if you're gonna hurt me
Then you gotta hold me next to you

[Chorus]
No matter how you work it, things go wrong
I put my heart where it don't belong
So if you're comin' with me, let me know
Maybe you're the last train
Maybe you're the last train home?

Stop This Train
John Mayer
[Outro]
I'm on the last train runnin'
I'm on the last train runnin'
And I surrender, and I surrender
I'm on the last train runnin'
I'm on the last train runnin'
And I surrender, and I surrender
I'm on the last train runnin'
I'm on the last train runnin'
And I surrender, and I surrender
I'm on the last train runnin'
I'm on the last train runnin'
And I surrender, and I surrender
Oh-yeah
Oh-uh-uh-uh

Ambiguity is my magic wand.
Like a shifty lawyer I parse words.
I hide love under cups watch close
as I move them quickly about
then point the true one out.
All cups are empty. It's magic.

I died but didn't know.
There never was a burial.
They dug me a hole
in clouds for my soul
I didn't know my role
apostles my body stole

Is there anything I can do
to fix the broken to you?
I always loved you most
you were the first ghost.

water dripping
clock ticking
counting sheep
just can't sleep
haunting violins
insane mandolins
constant litany
of sins dripping.

We choked on our stock's ashes.
1929. The crash. We lost it all.
nothing left to bear my burden.
nothing left to sing my praise.
my body aches. my soul despairs.
Forget friends. Never mind prayers.
The only warmth a stranger's "Hello".
I doubt innocence. What does he want?
I'll sleep on benches and city grates
and wipe my *** with 20 dollar bills.
I'll walk the stairs for the first time
to the top of my building and perch
and gaze upon the city that betrayed
me and step into death's cool flight.

My memory is less than it was before.
I can't remember my five wives names.
I can't forget thunder of  slamming door.
I will never heal my cruel inflicted pains.

I was firstborn son
namesake was done
delivered by a nun
already on the run.

My guilt overwhelmed me and I ran
  faster to the ***** and the pills.
  Drowning in stormy seas I reached
  desperately for a ticket to Boston.

  I was born again in Harvard Square.
  A stranger with a clean slate and a
  winning smile and a way with women.
  It shames me to the bottom of my soul.

  I broke hearts and promises back home.
  Wife and kids adrift their anchor lost.
  I couldn't find my magnetic north. Tara
  was my north star. I found my way home.

Lonely on TDY in Pascagoula, MS.
  Went to a light show dance club and
  got loose with beers and thumping DJ
  music. On the sidelines the local boys
  watch the ornaments dancing, enticing,
  calling from shore promising love.
  I saw the one. She was my Aphrodite.
  She left with a lover. I slept alone.

I burned our love to the ground
    myself. I soaked it all in
    kerosene and lit the match
    and threw it at the very heart.

   There was cruelty, ugly words,
   petty slights. Sometimes there was love.
   We danced so hard at night in our cups
   we'd fall to the floors laughing.

   I let you go and fell apart but very
   slowly began to piece my parts back
   where they belonged. I heard
   music again; it never sounded right.

   Years have brought much love to my
   door. I've held many women close and
   played at love the best I could
   with my heart so out of tune.